T1B

Chip, I know your "mom didn't raise you to be no whore", but how many Sex-On-The-Beaches does it take before you'll spread your legs for "Mr. Right"?

...or will you settle for "Mr. Right Now"?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Chip, I know your "mom didn't raise you to be no whore", but how many Sex-On-The-Beaches does it take before you'll spread your legs for "Mr. Right"?

...or will you settle for "Mr. Right Now"?

Nothing wrong with being star struck. winky winky.

trev wrote:Nothing wrong with being star struck. winky winky.

No, there is normally nothing wrong with being a little star struck, when you are talking about an actual star that is.

Jess is just barely a "celebrity" and that's being very generous with the term.

At best he's a stereo type that usually is seen loitering in the background.

Don't read this wrong, props to him for his collective appearances, especially on that kissing promotion a while back.

But he doesn't even qualify as a character actor. Hell, not even an actor, just a scene supporter, a human prop.

I don't get Jsc's weird and somewhat creepy support though. Whatevs.

He might be a human prop but that doesn't mean he can't be a star, if enough people know who he is. I'm not saying he is a star, just that the fact that he is only a human prop doesn't discount him as one in and of itself.

No MS, I get your point, but there's a huge difference between a star and a celeb. Almost anyone can get their fifteen minutes and become a momentary celebrity.

Jess is a minor celeb, but not a star, not by a long shot.

Again, I'm not discounting or diminishing what he's accomplished, but most people outside of this board have no clue who he is.

Sure, his unique appearance is recognizable, but there's a reason he's never had nor ever will have a speaking part.

So yeah, give him credit for being a regular extra in t.v. and film, but let's not get carried away with the whole "star" thing.

Jay in Phoenix wrote:he's never had nor ever will have a speaking part

He's had speaking parts.

At least some people will know who he was, unlike Mr. Schwump. Here he is sitting next to Andy Griffith who "swore" to his dying day that he did not know his name.

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Again, I'm not discounting or diminishing what he's accomplished, but most people outside of this board have no clue who he is.

I be to differ. Almost everybody I talk to under 50 knows who he is, many by name.
He is definitely a celebrity and he may even be a star. It's at least debatable.

Smackie, I've never seen him speak in any role. Can you link up or list a part where he did? Thanks.

MS. Agree to disagree I guess. I've known people who recognize his face, it's hard not to. But never have I known anyone who knew his name.
He is a celeb, that's granted, but he's not a star. A star is a bankable actor or actress, writer, comic, etc., with proven selling power. Sorry, but Jess hasn't been a headliner, or even a supporting player where somebody watched just to see his "acting". He can't act, or at least, he's very limited in range, but that doesn't diminish what he's accomplished.
But he is no star.

He stared in a SB ad and he may very well star in other ads. How is he not at least a commercial star.

I'm sure Jess enjoys his gig and good for him. It seems like easy (and fun) money. I see no compelling reason to bash or celebrate the guy. He's just trying to make a living like everyone else. May your skin be extra pale, your flesh extra fatty, and your jewfro extra poofy, old pal.

Gay in Phx is just bitter Jess gets better ass.

Well, by definition, Gay in Phoenix gets hairy male ass.

Jessie had a "major" speaking part in that internet phone commercial a few years ago. I don't know if that company still exists.

Jess will be on The Today Show, Thursday morning. It seems he will be announcing his new movie "Schmoolie The Deathwatcher', of which
he is the star.

"Schmoolie the Deathwatcher" is a darkly hilarious short film about Schmoolie Lazar, an Orthodox Jewish Teen, who spends his first night acting as Shomerim guarding a body awaiting burial, and ends up fighting for his own life.

Schmoolie is played by one of the most familiar faces in TV and film, Jesse Heiman. He has appeared in countless films, TV shows, commercials and music videos. His first major role came in American Pie 2. He has also guest starred on Navy NCIS and Entourage among countless others. Jesse Heiman is repped by Brianna Ancel of Clear Talent Group.


Read more about 'Schmoolie the Deathwatcher' is in Post Production in Los Angeles by www.forwardgeek.com

No-talent Jews making it in Hollywood?

Really???

Sin,

Adam Sandler

Well, I appreciate the input about the Jess career arc here. I have no problem admitting to being wrong, at least to a degree.

Dude has a decent career going and many appearances. Again, I stipulate that there is a huge difference between being a star and being a celebrity.

Jess defines celebrity, not stardom. I would challenge anybody here to actually go out and approach 20 different people, ask about the name Jesse Heiman and see if they know who that is.

They won't. Plain and simple. The face on the other hand his look is unmistakable. Fat face with rosacea blasted chubby cheeks, puffy jew-fro and nerdish appearance. Can't miss him.

Look, major ups to the guy and his career, as I said before. I'm sure he's a nice, well deserving dude. But painting him in a light he isn't cast in is silly.

No bitterness Y2K, not at all. Having spent as much time in film and television news and sports as I have, I'm just a bit blase about the whole thing.



---Goober, you seem obsessed with male anatomy. You might want to explore that and just sashay out of the closet once and for all, faggot.

Thanks for yet another IKYABWAI blast, Jay.

You're welcome, as your always brilliant creativity and spot-on humor were deserving as such.

Take a long look in the mirror asswipe. You may not like what you find.

Jay in Phoenix wrote:You're welcome, as your always brilliant creativity and spot-on humor were deserving as such.

Take a long look in the mirror asswipe. You may not like what you find.

Thanks for the kind words. I'm happy when I look in the mirror, BTW.

Jay in Phoenix wrote:

trev wrote:Nothing wrong with being star struck. winky winky.

No, there is normally nothing wrong with being a little star struck, when you are talking about an actual star that is.

Jess is just barely a "celebrity" and that's being very generous with the term.

At best he's a stereo type that usually is seen loitering in the background.

Don't read this wrong, props to him for his collective appearances, especially on that kissing promotion a while back.

But he doesn't even qualify as a character actor. Hell, not even an actor, just a scene supporter, a human prop.

I don't get Jsc's weird and somewhat creepy support though. Whatevs.

Damn dude what I do piss in your wheaties?


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Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well, I appreciate the input about the Jess career arc here. I have no problem admitting to being wrong, at least to a degree.

Dude has a decent career going and many appearances. Again, I stipulate that there is a huge difference between being a star and being a celebrity.

Jess defines celebrity, not stardom. I would challenge anybody here to actually go out and approach 20 different people, ask about the name Jesse Heiman and see if they know who that is.

They won't. Plain and simple. The face on the other hand his look is unmistakable. Fat face with rosacea blasted chubby cheeks, puffy jew-fro and nerdish appearance. Can't miss him.

Look, major ups to the guy and his career, as I said before. I'm sure he's a nice, well deserving dude. But painting him in a light he isn't cast in is silly.

No bitterness Y2K, not at all. Having spent as much time in film and television news and sports as I have, I'm just a bit blase about the whole thing.



---Goober, you seem obsessed with male anatomy. You might want to explore that and just sashay out of the closet once and for all, faggot.

Glad you can admit it but doesn't change the fact that I can clearly see you are not impressed with my career. It's fine I'll continue to follow my dreams and do what makes me happy and you go ahead and sniff glue, snap along to the Adams family song at sporting events and Yaking along in here like anyone on the outside world gives a duck what you say or think about them. Me I'll be over here enjoying having a face that people come up to at concerts at the Greek and ask for pictures with still or say hey you're the guy from Big Bang Theory, Chuck, Glee, and Godaddy super bowl ad. And yes I have moved up to speaking in webseries and short films and have a buzzworthy documentary about myself coming out next year that will win awards and I don't mind the self promotion it's all I got at the moment. Yes I've been laid recently no I didn't pay for it or drug her like some of your lays I'm sure.


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jtr wrote:I can clearly see you are not impressed with my career.

Who would be? Don't get me wrong. You're making an honest living for now. That's great. Should we have a parade?

Rack you, Jess! Don't let a never-was loser like Gay in Phoenix bring you down.

Jess, if you decide you're going to hang yourself in the garage at the place you're staying, make sure you take a dump early in the day.
It would be awkward for the coroner and the meat-wagon guys if your bowels release when you shuffle off your mortal coil.

Hey Jesse - my kid was in his first short film :) IMDB and all. I wish he had a better agent but then again I hate driving to auditions. Ha. Rack you buddy. Living your dream.

You gotta hand it to Jess for playing the hand he was dealt in life better than anyone else on this board.

.....until someone here joins the circus that is.