Roll Up, Roll Up...For Planet Bolt

[LTS TRN 2]

Go figure! Just when it's apparent that the Dolphin planet has invaded earth, with "world" records falling like McCain's wife's tits, here comes the all-time freak. Sure, you're thinking of Livingston Bramble's glazed drilling of Ray Mancini--and you remember wondering...what the fuck is going on in Jamaica to produce these freaks? Well, keep guessing. Untied shoe lace? Arms spread eighty meters in? World record? Could've gone 9.55?

We'll work with the land dolphin species to guide your "world"

[Nishlord]

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[Shoalzie]

Michael Johnson was an absolute pimp in '96...he'll always be one of my all-time favorite Olympians. I was too young to remember Carl Lewis at his best...Johnson is the U.S. track star that I'll remember for a long time. Pretty weird that he's doing TV on the BBC and NBC had T&T's Ato Bolden working with Tom Hammond.

You definitely have to give huge props to Bolt and how easy he made that race look. His running style looks a lot like Johnson's...very upright and effortless. I would've loved to see Bolt goes balls out for all 100 meters and what could've been his actual time. It probably would've been sub-9.6.

[RumpleForeskin]

Yep, Bolt definitely would have gone sub 9.6 had he went all out. That was one sick performance.

[Nishlord]

If only shitting out mediocre little pellets of cuntishness was an olympic event, eh mvs? You'd have it on lock.

I think Puma ought to sponsor an event where Bolt runs 100 metres, while you masturbate over photos of Ronald Reagan's colon operation. See who finishes first.

[Nishlord]

Michael Johnson was an absolute pimp in '96...he'll always be one of my all-time favorite Olympians. I was too young to remember Carl Lewis at his best...Johnson is the U.S. track star that I'll remember for a long time. Pretty weird that he's doing TV on the BBC and NBC had T&T's Ato Bolden working with Tom Hammond.

He's a brilliant summariser. He was on this morning and was asked "So...the UK is now 3rd in the medal table, just behind the USA. Looks like we're catching up on you, Michael". He shot the greatest look of incredulity ever, and then pissed himself laughing.

The BBC have a habit of poaching the best American talent - McEnroe is genius when he covers Wimbledon.

[Shoalzie]

ABC/ESPN likes to borrow Peter Alliss during THE Open...we must have an exchange program going on or something.

[PSUFAN]

I think he ran all out until he got close enough to see that shutyomouth had housed the KFC bucket.

[Q, West Coast Style]

Jamaicans are very gifted in the sprinting struct.

[RevLimiter]

Yep, Bolt definitely would have gone sub 9.6 had he went all out.

Typical lazy ass neegroid. I guess they should have put a bucket of chicken and a foty of Old E at the finish line.

Beautiful.

[BSmack]

Yep, Bolt definitely would have gone sub 9.6 had he went all out.

Typical lazy ass neegroid. I guess they should have put a bucket of chicken and a foty of Old E at the finish line.

Beautiful.

If they put a bucket of extra crispy out there for you, I'm sure you could have cracked 9.4 seconds.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Beautiful.

Even more beautiful are the simpletons who think that joke is still hilarious after the umpteenth time.

[smackaholic]

I was a huge fan of MJ making it look so fukking easy in the 400 in atlanta, but, he can go fukk himself with the michael who comment. That was pretty bush if you ask me.

Michael who?, you ask. How 'bout the one who has more olympic gold in his back pocket than MJ and lightning bolt will amass between them.

What Phelps did was akin to winning the 100, 200, 400, high hurdles, long jump and pole vault.

[bbqjones]

What Phelps did was akin to winning the 100, 200, 400, high hurdles, long jump and pole vault.

not really. three of them were relays. impressive nonetheless.

[Mister Bushice]

Agreed. Dude looked around to see if he had to run faster. Damn.

He left himself headroom to rake in as much $$ as he can for a half decade. Nice move. You set too high a mark right out of the gate you lose the big pay day.

[RevLimiter]

Beautiful.

If they put a bucket of extra crispy out there for you, I'm sure you could have cracked 9.4 seconds.

Last I checked my skin color isn't dark brown, dickhead. Better luck next time, Tree Hugger.

[Goober McTuber]

Beautiful.

If they put a bucket of extra crispy out there for you, I'm sure you could have cracked 9.4 seconds.

Last I checked my skin color isn't dark brown

No, but the area inside your skull is, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS.

Stay classy, Paul.

[Nishlord]

200m. Fuck.

[RevLimiter]

Last I checked my skin color isn't dark brown

No, but the area inside your skull is, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS.

Stay classy, Paul.

Ahhh yes, the resident Board Ankle-Biter is in mid-season form.

GO FUCK YOURSELF, Goobs.

[Shoalzie]

200m. Fuck.

No joke...another amazing run by 'Lightning' Bolt. I didn't know someone could look more effortless and smooth than Michael Johnson but I think Bolt is that guy...incredible to watch.

[bbqjones]

the way this guy runs, wouldn't it be a ridiculus to witness him break 19 in the next couple of years? the jamaicans might have a chance to lap somebody in the relays.

he can probably do 9.55 right now in the one. nice to see a sprinter that has joy in his trade.

[LTS TRN 2]

And to think that some pencil-dick corporate puppet like the IOC schill would attempt to discount, impugn, and essentially indict the great Bolt for...being Bolt. This is how much we've been co-opted. Meanwhile the New Facism of Beijing (and, for you keeping score at home, that's Orwellian totalitarianism combined with rampant--reckless--unchecked Corporatism) quashes inquiries into its twelve-year-old gymnasts like Cheney/Mukasey shredding the laws of "America."

WW