Memo to pro golfers not named Tiger Woods.

[BSmack]

You just got punked by a man with a bum knee AND a broken leg.

Tiger to shut it down for the rest of this year

Wow. Just wow.

[RumpleForeskin]

I'll spare the electro cock considering this is pretty big news.

mv, playing golf with a bum knee is tough. Most of the top golfers in the world get their distance from their lower body. Tiger playing with a stress fracture is fucking insane. Winning the toughest golf tournament in the world on that stress fracture is something NOBODY can even fathom.

[RumpleForeskin]

Color me unimpressed.

Whatever.

Just think of LT running for a 90 yard TD while breaking 11 tackles on a torn ACL. That's what Tiger's accomplishment equates to.

[Dinsdale]

Just proving the point that golf isn't a sport and golfers aren't athletes.

You're a dumbfuck, and have no idea what you're talking about.

[PSUFAN]

Props to Tiger - it seems like a dramatic accomplishment. However, I still don't give a good goddamn.

[BSmack]

Color me unimpressed.

Whatever.

Just think of LT running for a 90 yard TD while breaking 11 tackles on a torn ACL. That's what Tiger's accomplishment equates to.

That's some seriously poor game planning.

But seriously, even the dictionary thinks mv's got this one wrong.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
sport Audio Help /spɔrt, spoʊrt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[spawrt, spohrt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.

[RumpleForeskin]

I still don't give a good goddamn.

You should, 'cus its something that comes along only three or four times a century in sport.

This is like Gibson in '88.

[PSUFAN]

its something that comes along only three or four times a century in sport.

I thought we were talking about Golf, not "sport"?

[Mikey]

Color me unimpressed.

Whatever.

Just think of LT running for a 90 yard TD while breaking 11 tackles on a torn ACL. That's what Tiger's accomplishment equates to.

Just think of:

- mvscal posting while in a good mood
- Dinsdale limited to one line
- PSU with a drawer full of clean tighty whities
- Rumps having to find the sweet spot without rolling the mountain in flour
- wolfman trying to...uh...be wolfman without a 24 pack of beast lights on hand

[Smackie Chan]

Just think of:

- Dinsdale limited to one line

I'm guessing it might look something like:

You're a dumbfuck, and have no idea what you're talking about.

But I could be wrong.

[Mikey]

Just think of:

- Dinsdale limited to one line

I'm guessing it might look something like:

You're a dumbfuck, and have no idea what you're talking about.

But I could be wrong.

[Dinsdale]

Any game which can be played by paunchy, manboobed tossers is most emphatically not a sport. It's a leisure activity. It's as much of a "sport" as Magic the Gathering.

Thanks for proving my point, dumbfuck.

Uhm... what are your thoughts on football? Lots of paunchy, manboobed tossers in pro football.


But remind me... when was the last time Daly, Mantits, or Monty (add Tim Herron to the list) won without amassing a huge lead on an early tourney round?


You know, since you're commenting on PGA golf, you surely must know these things, right?

See, when they engage in a physically demanding activity in blistering heat for 5 straight days, the fatties tend to melt down, and lose their ability to properly execute the most difficult move in all of sport -- the golf swing.


Anyone who follows the SPORT (sup not you, but you feel the need to comment anyway) knows that those in poor condition don't kick ass and win on Sunday. But we always have the pleasure of watching the Phildos, Mon-teeees, and Herrons of the golf world melt down into a tub of goo on Sunday afternoon, while the well-conditioned guys find the extra gear and kick their ass.

Which pretty much exposes your argument for what it is -- comnpletely uninformed, ignorant tripe.

[BSmack]

Like what? Mowing the yard? I know you aren't talking about golf. You must be a Stephen Hawking level feeb if you consider golfing a "physically demanding" activity.

Golf is easily as demanding as baseball.

[MuchoBulls]

But remind me... when was the last time Daly, Mantits, or Monty (add Tim Herron to the list) won without amassing a huge lead on an early tourney round?

Phil won 2 of his 3 majors by coming from behind on the last day (winning the PGA in a playoff).

What Tiger did is pretty damn remarkable, but we shouldn't have come to expect any less out of him. It really pained me to have to give Tiger those props, but he deserved them.

[BSmack]

Like what? Mowing the yard? I know you aren't talking about golf. You must be a Stephen Hawking level feeb if you consider golfing a "physically demanding" activity.

Golf is easily as demanding as baseball.

At what point do golfers run? All golfers do is walk and swing a stick. Any middleaged fatbody can do that.

Big deal, they run maybe 10-15 sprints of no more than 60 yards at a time. It's so physically demanding that Mo Vaughn was voted AL MVP.

[War Wagon]

Golf is easily as demanding as baseball.

That has to be the most ridiculous statement you've ever mashed submit on.

What's next, you gonna' tell me that ping pong is as demanding as tennis?

[Dinsdale]

You must be a Stephen Hawking level feeb if you consider golfing a "physically demanding" activity.

What did you score last time out?


Oh. I see. You're commenting on that which you know nothing about... as per usualm.


At what point do offensive lineman run?

Phil won 2 of his 3 majors by coming from behind on the last day (winning the PGA in a playoff).

So, let's review the timeline here...


For a decade or so, Phildo became absolutely legendary for his ability to squander any lead, no matter how large, on any given Sunday.

And the tougher the tourney (which takes more strokes to complete), the more likely Chokelson was to do what he was famous for... choke.

Then what happened?

That's right -- he dedicated himself to better physical conditioning, and he isn't carrying an extra 30 pounds around in his brassiere...

And for the first time in a long, storied career of choking, he suddenly quit consitantly fading on Sunday afternoons.


And this is some sort of mystery as to why?

Are you people fucking retarded due to ignorance, or just through simple stupidity?



And in a most shocking turn of events -- the best conditioned guy to ever play the sport, recently named "Best Conditioned Athlete" by... whichever media poll that was a couple of weeks ago...

Is also considered by many to be the best player in the history of the sport, and is legendary for never giving anything away on Sunday afternoon, and his game gets stronger and never fades down the stretch...



But apparently, some of you are actually dumb enough, and are letting your prejudices shine the light of your ignorance through the fog, to chalk this fact up as some mere coincedence.


Yeahhhhh, buddy -- it's all just a freakish coincedence. Nahhhh, that doesn't make you sound reeeeeeallllllly stupid or anything.


If you wanted to know more about the oldest, most noble, most difficult sport on the planet,. all you had to do was ask. There's some folks on this board who are very knowledable about this most difficult of sport, and could teach you much. But instead, you choose ignorance -- not suprising, really.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Of course golf is a sport. Anything involving any amount of skill, athleticism, and competition is a "sport." Thing is, there are varying levels skill, athleticism, and competition in sport. There is more athleticism in track and field than golf, yet there is undeniably more skill involved in golf. One isn't more of a sport than the other. They're both just...sports. But of different kinds. This isn't complicated shit, people.

[Mikey]

At what point do offensive lineman run?

When they hear that food is being served?

[Tom In VA]

At what point do offensive lineman run?

Wrong way to go, right there.



But RACK Mikey for the LOL'r
and RACK Mgo for the sense.

[Dinsdale]

Golf is easily as demanding as baseball.

That has to be the most ridiculous statement you've ever mashed submit on.

Only in that it's an understatement.

Golf is much more physically demending than baseball. Not really close, actually.


Yes, I understand -- you live in the Flyover. You have no idea what a goat-course is. If you did, this wouldn't even be a debate in your little brain.


Walking up and down hills for 5 hours is MUCH more demanding than playing any position in baseball... although I might grant you the pitcher, but the demands on his body are different, and it requires little stamina, just tough-as-nails tendons (which is a minor requirement for full time golfers, as well).


Some of you don't seem to understand that Tiger originally blew up his knee swinging a golf club. His club speed greatly exceeds the bat speed of any baseball player.

[smackaholic]

Tring to'splain golf to anyone that has never played is like explaining calculus to your cat. Don't bother.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

At what point do offensive lineman run?

No shit. One of Michigan's best O-Lineman transferred when he found out running would be in the cards.

[Sirfindafold]

[Dinsdale]

Tring to'splain golf to anyone that has never played is like explaining calculus to your cat. Don't bother.

Pretty much.


I'm in excellent shape for a guy my age. And when I go play 18, especially in the league, where you don't get to take breaks and whatsuch, my legs are pretty beat when I finish walking a goat-rope. That fatigue definitely plays a part in trying to finish through the swing and hit accurate shots down the stretch. Those that are in shape and can keep their legs in rhythym propery... win. Those who huff and puff and suck wind... lose.

[Dinsdale]

I laughed. Yeah...walking and swinging a stick is just brutal.

OK, I'll speak mvscalese --

THIS IS A DIRECT QUESTION... ANSWER IT, CLAIRE (which is a fat girl's name-btw) --


What did you shoot last time out?

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

What did you shoot last time out?

Yeah, and eagling Vogelwife's dimehole doesn't count either.

[Dinsdale]

I laughed. Yeah...walking and swinging a stick is just brutal.

OK, I'll speak mvscalese --

THIS IS A DIRECT QUESTION... ANSWER IT, CLAIRE (which is a fat girl's name-btw) --


What did you shoot last time out?

[RumpleForeskin]

Mgo nailed it. Nothing else should be said.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

There isn't any athleticism involved in golf.

Except the people who have actually played would disagree with you.

[Dinsdale]

I laughed. Yeah...walking and swinging a stick is just brutal.

OK, I'll speak mvscalese --

THIS IS A DIRECT QUESTION... ANSWER IT, CLAIRE (which is a fat girl's name-btw) --


What did you shoot last time out?

[Dinsdale]

Anyone who considers golf to be athletic is hopelessly out of shape.

Any game, any sport, any time, anywhere.

Name it.

We're about the same age... and I promise you, I'll run circles around your ass... no question.

And I might even do it with a cigarette dangling from my lip and a brew in hand.



I occasionally golf with one of my old buddies... when he's not busy running marathons at age 41. Oddly enough, he seems to think that golf is a demanding sport.

[Tom In VA]

Here are some more "athletes" leaving it all on the field. Truly inspirational stuff. How their bodies can withstanding this grueling punishment is beyond all comprehension...

Laughing my ass off.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I've played golf before. At no point did I ever even remotely consider it to be an athletic activity. It's a game not a sport. Anyone who considers golf to be athletic is hopelessly out of shape.

Of course there are exceptions, but watching an unathletic person try to swing a golf club is high comedy. It's about impossible to do without embarrassment to be had. It's simply your ignorant opinion that golf is neither a sport, nor does it require any athleticism. However, it's fact that golf is a sport by definition.

[Dinsdale]

Of course there are exceptions, but watching an unathletic person try to swing a golf club is high comedy.

Crazy.

Of all the people I play golf with, there's a theme -- those with the mad game are all in excellent physical condition.

The ones that aren't, succumb to fatigue and melt down the stretch.

And oddly enough, we see this exact same theme repeated over and over and over on the professional level.


Yet certain not-quite-geniuses here are still chalking a near-infinite database of factual info as some sort of huge coincidence... which is pretty high comedy in the "sport" of messageboarding, as well.

[Sirfindafold]

I'm a dickhead

[indyfrisco]

Not an athlete.



Athlete.



Got it.

x infinity

Small example in relation to Dins' point. A guy that plays locally is the best golfer in the county...on weekends when riding the cart. Wins damn near every tournament. However, the County Open is played over 3 days at 3 different courses where you are required to walk and not ride a cart...unless you're 50 or older.

Damn near every year, he led after round 1. Dropped back to 2-3 after round 2 and usually finished about 5th. He's 5'10" and at least 265 lbs. He turned to hot jello on our hilly courses and could not hold the lead. 2 years ago, he won the County Open after 34 years of trying. That's right. He turned 50 2 years ago and was able to ride a cart. He won it last year too.

Nope. No athleticism involved in golf.

[Smackie Chan]

Golf has to be a sport. They write about it in SI, and cover it on ESPN, so that settles it.

Or, maybe not. I'm sure there's no diagreement over the fact that there is no greater authority on this matter than George Carlin, who says it's not a sport because no one plays defense, which is a prerequisite for any activity to be considered a sport.

So now I'm all confused. What are magazines and networks dedicated to sports doing devoting so much time to non-sports?

Then there's this from some blog I ran across:

To me, a sport is a contest in which someone is physically trying to stop an opponent. Think football, tennis, basketball or hide n seek played on the mean streets of my neighborhood growing up. Golf is not a sport. It’s just you against yourself. No doubt, golf can be mentally taxing, but that still doesn’t make it a sport. My tax returns are mentally taxing, but filling them out isn’t a sport.

Is auto racing a sport?

That universally respected source of accurate information, Wikipedia, says a sport is an activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively. Sports commonly refer to activities where the physical capabilities of the competitor are the sole or primary determiner of the outcome (winning or losing), but the term is also used to include activities such as mind sports (a common name for some card games and board games with little to no element of chance) and motor sports where mental acuity or equipment quality are major factors.

So now Monopoly, Yahtzee, and Crazy Eights are sports, too?!? Certainly if that's the case, golf must be also.

Next thing you know, posting here will be considered a sport.

[indyfrisco]

Golf has to be a sport. They write about it in SI, and cover it on ESPN, so that settles it.

So is the spelling bee, but I caught the sarcasm.

[MuchoBulls]

Phil won 2 of his 3 majors by coming from behind on the last day (winning the PGA in a playoff).

So, let's review the timeline here...


For a decade or so, Phildo became absolutely legendary for his ability to squander any lead, no matter how large, on any given Sunday.

And the tougher the tourney (which takes more strokes to complete), the more likely Chokelson was to do what he was famous for... choke.

Then what happened?

That's right -- he dedicated himself to better physical conditioning, and he isn't carrying an extra 30 pounds around in his brassiere...

And for the first time in a long, storied career of choking, he suddenly quit consitantly fading on Sunday afternoons.


And this is some sort of mystery as to why?

I know he won those because he got himself into shape. There is no excuse as to why Phil should be out of contention in every Masters, U.S. Open, and PGA Championship, unless his brain cramps get the better of him. His game is not suited to win the British Open (sorry, The Open), but he should have a shot this year at Birkdale.