Britain, home of Religious Intolerance

[Nishlord]

Drunk Darth Vader's Jedi assault

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard.
Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries.
Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted "Darth Vader!"

Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."
In the event, Hughes turned up and the case at Holyhead magistrates court resumed.
The court heard he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack.

Outlining the case againt Hughes, prosectutor Nia Lloyd said Barney Jones had recently started the Jedi church in Holyhead - in honour of the Star Wars' good knights.
It had about 30 members locally and "thousands worldwide".
The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack.
Hughes admitted two charges of common assault.
The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

Mrs Lloyd said: "He was wearing a black bin bag and a cape and had a metal crutch in his hand."
Mrs Lloyd said he was shouting "Darth Vader".
She added that Hughes hit Barney Jones over the head with the crutch, leaving him with a headache.

He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising.
Both men were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned.
She added that the pair believe "very strongly in the church and their religion".
Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told.

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining his life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.
The court head Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour.
The judge warned Hughes that jail remained a possibility before adjourning for pre-sentence reports until 13 May.

[smackaholic]

The still at large Mr Hughes is currently being tracked down by boba fet, reported an anomimous source from scotland yard.

[Cuda]

Pish posh, Nish. You Limeys are emininetly tolerant. If only Mr Hughes had beheaded those infidels, he'd have got away with only a small reward!

Muslims Demand Magic Meteor Mean Time

Originally Mohammad was going to have his cult of cutthroats face Jerusalem when they prayed. But Jews refused to take him seriously as a prophet, so in a fit of pique, he changed it to the meteor pagan savages where already worshiping in Mecca.

Today a billion Muslims pray facing the meteor. In Britainistan, graveyards and prison toilets are oriented with the meteor in mind.

Now Muslims are demanding that international time zones be based on the meteor, on the grounds that Mecca's longitude is in perfect alignment with magnetic north. Also, Greenwich Mean Time is a relic of British colonial oppression. Now that it's Muslims who do the oppressing, it must be changed to Mecca Mean Time, or maybe Magic Meteor Mean Time.

I'm guessing liberals will be swayed by the colonial angle.

Time to get on your knees, face the meteor and bray!

[Headhunter]

I like the Star Wars movies and all, but if you've started a Jedi church, you deserve to be beaten with a crutch by a drunk Limey in a garbage sack.

Rack that dude.


Free Arwel Hughes!

[OCmike]

Was it this guy?: