What do you ASSholes want for Christmas?

It's the 17th Anniversary for T1B - Fuckin' A

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Santa
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What do you ASSholes want for Christmas?

Post by Santa »

Well? Should we go with the coal lumps again this year?

You probably don't deserve jack shit, but I'm a warm-hearted SOB, so you might as well go ahead and submit your requests.
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy »

I'd like it if you would quit trying to stick your dick in my ass everytime I have too much eggnog.

We can start there.


Exactly how generous are you feeling? The Polar bears have a request about you and your dick as well. As do the elves, Geese, Sasquatch, Mrs. Claus, and countless young bulgarian prostitutes.
Last edited by Sammy on Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Santa
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Post by Santa »

mvscal, no big shocker. I had you down for a lapdance from Star Jones...
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy »

Yukon Cornelius, on the other hand, is asking for an extended visit after the big day.
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Santa
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Post by Santa »

sammy, where we come from, you don't look askance at ANY source of heat. Would you prefer an icicle up your pooper? that can be arranged.
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Trollfessor
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Post by Trollfessor »

For Christmas, I'd like for M2 to have been in this plane.
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Santa
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Post by Santa »

i fixed up mrs claus a little early this year. she cleaned up nice after a few gallons of botox

Image

m2 is a fucking yid. no christmas for him. i can't arrange for his death directly, but I know a couple of mean fucking elves.
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy »

With the amount of time you spend with those pants around your ankles trying to bugger anything that moves, your John Thomas is desired about as much as Janet Reno at a Victoria Secret's after party.
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PSUFAN
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Post by PSUFAN »

Santa, I want to old RtS back - the one that SAVED the CFB forum, the one who was so tight with Heels, the guy with the angelic voice who tore through the caroling under the Spanish Moss.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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Yukon Cornelius
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Post by Yukon Cornelius »

Sammy wrote:Yukon Cornelius, on the other hand, is asking for an extended visit after the big day.
Fuck that. I'm hoping for silver and gold!

(and maybe a nice Iniut woman to chew on my boots during the cold winter nights)
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Santa
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Post by Santa »

Here's a little secret, sammy. Janet Reno is a fucking SUPERSTAR on the swing circuit. You see, those folks get a tight, tight twist on...they're so fucking jaded after years of group strange, they'll pounce on ANYTHING that's just a little different.

You should see her cooter - more sliced meat than TWIS's avatar.

She's asked for more piercings for XMas...it's already to the point where magnets have to be removed from the room.
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Santa
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Post by Santa »

PSUFAN wrote:Santa, I want to old RtS back - the one that SAVED the CFB forum, the one who was so tight with Heels, the guy with the angelic voice who tore through the caroling under the Spanish Moss.
Well, don't look at ME, shitstripe. YOU're the reason he can't post here.

BTW, I don't care what you asked for - you're getting toilet paper.
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Santa
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Post by Santa »

maybe a nice Iniut woman
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA! Good luck on that one. You don't think I've been looking? I've been trying to find a decent-looking eskimo bitch for CENTURIES, man. Hopping over a few icebergs for a quickie with mrs. Ikniqpalagaq would be right peachy; so far, no go.
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Ingse Bodil
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Post by Ingse Bodil »

Of the 'nice' photos when pulling up 'eskimo hotties' (nothing pulls up under 'inuit hotties', i guess that should have been a sign there about the mindset of those who make porn):

Image
not inuit.

Image
definitely not inuit, so why is she included in something called 'eskimoporn galleries'? that's some bullshit.

Image
not everyone lives someplace where you have to truck everything in every 6 months, but i still can't buy she's inuit either.


Santa, you know what you need to do.
X wrote:Ludacris... was kicked off the Pepsi brand ad campaign based on explicit lyrics in his album. But with Snoop, here's a coon who admittedly sold drugs and gang banged, was charged with murder and maybe even slapped his wife, representing one of the largest corporations in America--in essence, selling cars to sixty year old white men and blue-haired white women.
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy »

Ingse Bodil wrote:Santa, you know what you need to do.

Put a slug in your fucking dome.


Do it Fatman! Fucking Do it!
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Uncle Fester
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Post by Uncle Fester »

Every Christmas it's the same: I always end up being a shepherd.
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Ingse Bodil
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Post by Ingse Bodil »

Uncle Fester wrote:Every Christmas it's the same: I always end up being a shepherd.
It's better than getting a 'rock', right?
X wrote:Ludacris... was kicked off the Pepsi brand ad campaign based on explicit lyrics in his album. But with Snoop, here's a coon who admittedly sold drugs and gang banged, was charged with murder and maybe even slapped his wife, representing one of the largest corporations in America--in essence, selling cars to sixty year old white men and blue-haired white women.
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Mikey
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Post by Mikey »

Better the shepard than the sheep.
(I guess)
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Uncle Fester
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Post by Uncle Fester »

Ingse Bodil wrote:
Uncle Fester wrote:Every Christmas it's the same: I always end up being a shepherd.
It's better than getting a 'rock', right?
Foul. You're mixing holidays.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nickles nickles nickles...
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Ingse Bodil
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Post by Ingse Bodil »

rock.. coal.. stocking.. bag... ah hell, i'm sorry man. i honestly thought that was a merry christmas reset, not a great pumpkin reset. :(
X wrote:Ludacris... was kicked off the Pepsi brand ad campaign based on explicit lyrics in his album. But with Snoop, here's a coon who admittedly sold drugs and gang banged, was charged with murder and maybe even slapped his wife, representing one of the largest corporations in America--in essence, selling cars to sixty year old white men and blue-haired white women.
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Cuda
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Post by Cuda »

Sammy wrote:
Ingse Bodil wrote:Santa, you know what you need to do.

Put a slug in your fucking dome.


Do it Fatman! Fucking Do it!
Image

DO IT!!!!!
WacoFan wrote:Flying any airplane that you can hear the radio over the roaring radial engine is just ghey anyway.... Of course, Cirri are the Miata of airplanes..
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The Seer
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Post by The Seer »

Santa wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:Santa, I want to old RtS back - the one that SAVED the CFB forum, the one who was so tight with Heels, the guy with the angelic voice who tore through the caroling under the Spanish Moss.
Well, don't look at ME, shitstripe. YOU're the reason he can't post here.

BTW, I don't care what you asked for - you're getting toilet paper.


Kringle can smak.....
E UNUM PLURIBUS
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Mammy
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Post by Mammy »

I just wants my boy back...



I want to hep him....
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Doug near DC
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Post by Doug near DC »

If this Santa came slithering down my chimmney, I'd bust a cap in his ass.
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MgoBlue-LightSpecial
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Post by MgoBlue-LightSpecial »

Ban this fucking idiot.
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War Wagon
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Post by War Wagon »

That's been tried before.
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Screw_Michigan

Post by Screw_Michigan »

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Ban this fucking idiot.
completely agree. that shit can get you fired at work.

what a fucking cock sucker.
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