Paris/Nice Trip Advice

socal · Post by **socal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 2:55 pm

For those of you who've been to Paris and the south of France, any advice?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:04 pm

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

I hope you have a Nice trip. I hear the wine is good.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 4:19 pm

Don't forget the French fries, French toast, and French bread. Hell, save yourself a lot of money and have a staycation. You can get all that "nice" stuff at home, even the wine. I heard Boone's Farm 2011 was a good vintage.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:53 pm

Yeah, I have a piece of advice regarding a possible trip to Paris/Nice. Go. No matter what...go. Once there, if you feel the urge never to leave, don't beat yourself up over it. It's wholly understandable.

Also, Provençale. Find a way to visit that region. Roussillon, Gordes, Avignon, Les Baux, etc.

Lastly, while you're there, don't be a douche. Don't be that guy. You know the one...the obvious American tourist dork running around in a UCLA sweatshirt and a fannypack.

:P

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:58 pm

Wolfman wrote:Don't forget the French fries

Van wrote:Don't be that guy.

That guy would order Freedom fries.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 7:30 pm

Unless you don't have a choice, go somewhere else in Europe.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 7:40 pm

Wolfman wrote: Hell, save yourself a lot of money and have a staycation. You can get all that "nice" stuff at home, even the wine.

Like fuck you can.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 7:51 pm

My advice, after having visited there for a week on a layover on my way back from the ME, is spend the cash on a hotel room in an internationally known chain such as Marriott. Why? Because Parisians are as a general rule, smokers. And as such, smokers contaminate every place you and every pension reeks of stale cheap French cigarettes. On the other hand, the big chains have honest-to-goodness nonsmoking rooms where you don't smell like ass after sleeping in their rooms.

Other than that, wear comfortable non-ostentatious footwear because you will be walking a lot. No neon colored running shoes because it marks you as an American and subsequently you will get poorer service and less people willing to speak English to you.

Oh. And expect to pay 15 Euros for an espresso since regular coffee is practically nonexistent in Paris-- and it'd be horribly expensive if it was. Eat at McDonalds because it is the only cheap place to fill up. Avoid eating quiche from the sidewalk vendors. My wife had some and was violently sick for half the week we were there.

One surprise for me was on an outing (by myself since my better half was sleeping off her quiche) was to discover that while there are a few gendarmes around, the US embassy was overrun with police to keep the Muzzies from firebombing the place. And there are lots of disgruntled Muzzies in France. Seriously, the amount of police presence there was truly amazing considering that places like the Lourve allow you to stand within inches of masterpieces by Rembrandt or Renoir and nary a security force or policeman in sight.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:21 pm

Van wrote:Yeah, I have a piece of advice regarding a possible trip to Paris/Nice. Go. No matter what...go. Once there, if you feel the urge never to leave, don't beat yourself up over it. It's wholly understandable.

Yep. Paris really is "all that." Just have a comfortable pair of walking shoes and roam the city. When you're hungry, stop at a likely looking sidewalk cafe and have a side of escargot with your lunch. There is so much to see I don't even know where to begin. Naturally the night life is whatever you want it be. Haute cuisine, bare titty variety shows, lame clubs etc. I've never been to the south of France, but the Channel Coast in northern France is absolutely beautiful.

France totally kicks ass. I'd go back in heartbeat.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:31 pm

Rooster wrote:Eat at McDonalds because it is the only cheap place to fill up.

If you ever find yourself in Paris eating at McDonald's, just skip to the end of your life and blow your fucking brains out on the spot. Life has been completely wasted on you.

...it marks you as an American and subsequently you will get poorer service and less people willing to speak English to you.

In my experience, this is total, 100% complete bullshit. I don't have any neon kicks, but I think it was pretty obvious from my accent and hideously butchered French, that I was an American and I never once got any attitude or bullshit for being an American or speaking French like a brain injured mongoloid. Now if you are a stupid dick you might run into some problems but that's going to happen anywhere.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:32 pm

mvscal wrote:
Wolfman wrote: Hell, save yourself a lot of money and have a staycation. You can get all that "nice" stuff at home, even the wine.
Like fuck you can.

+ ∞

Rooster, regarding the neon-colored running shoes, my experience there was the exact opposite of yours, especially in Rome and Paris. It seemed that every third person there, male or female, was wearing neon-colored Pumas. Since most Euros aren't obsese pigs, however, it was actually a decent look on a lot of those women in their ubiquitous capris pants.

The thing I did find disconcerting was the number of men who also wore capris pants with their flashy Pumas.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:43 pm

mvscal, I admit that while in Paris I did try a McDonald's, strictly because this meant that I had to...

Travolta was right, and they also had one or two menu items never offered here. Some sort of blue cheese burger was one, IIRC.

In any case, that was my lone cultural transgression o' shame, so fuck me sideways.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:53 pm

Did you at least eat snails? Or a maybe a pot of Moules Marinières with a side of fries and a carafe of chilled white wine on a sidewalk table?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:05 pm

mvscal wrote:
Rooster wrote:Eat at McDonalds because it is the only cheap place to fill up.
If you ever find yourself in Paris eating at McDonald's, just skip to the end of your life and blow your fucking brains out on the spot. Life has been completely wasted on you.

rack

Like going to a tropical beach resort and only swimming in the hotel pool.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:11 pm

mvscal wrote:Did you at least eat snails? Or a maybe a pot of Moules Marinières with a side of fries and a carafe of chilled white wine on a sidewalk table?

Yes, no, yes, no, yes. I don't drink alcohol so of course I skipped the wine, but Susan downed enough for the both of us in this gorgeous little cafe directly across the street from the Louvre.

Speaking of that cafe, the one shitty thing I will say about Paris is that they seriously allow smoking in their restaurants. I don't just mean that they allow it, either. No, I'm talking having some cuntpunch literally dangle his lit cancer stick almost directly over your plate as you're trying to enjoy your fine repaste of escargot, French onion soup (oh, shaddup, it was awesome) and roasted quail. This place had picnic table-style bench seating, and this one fuckhead was completely oblivious. Looking around the place, I realized that he was hardly alone in what he was doing, so I just let it go, figuring "When in ~~Rome~~ Paris...."

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:17 pm

Martyred wrote:Like going to a tropical beach resort and only swimming in the hotel pool.

Unless that stretch of the Pacific is either toxic or loaded with sharks, someone please explain this to me...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:22 pm

Van wrote:
mvscal wrote:Did you at least eat snails? Or a maybe a pot of Moules Marinières with a side of fries and a carafe of chilled white wine on a sidewalk table?
Yes, no, yes, no, yes. I don't drink alcohol so of course I skipped the wine, but Susan downed enough for the both of us in this gorgeous little cafe directly across the street from the Louvre.

Speaking of that cafe, the one shitty thing I will say about Paris is that they seriously allow smoking in their restaurants. I don't just mean that they allow it, either. No, I'm talking having some cuntpunch literally dangle his lit cancer stick almost directly over your plate as you're trying to enjoy your fine repaste of escargot, French onion soup (oh, shaddup, it was awesome) and roasted quail. This place had picnic table-style bench seating, and this one fuckhead was completely oblivious. Looking around the place, I realized that he was hardly alone in what he was doing, so I just let it go, figuring "When in ~~Rome~~ Paris...."

So you had escargot and French onion soup in a cafe across from the Louvre and you were surrounded by chain-smoking Frenchmen, huh?

Did Edith Piaf serenade you while a mime pretended to be trapped in a glass box too?

Christ, if your going to make shit up, at least keep it in the realm of believability.

Jerkovich · Post by **Jerkovich** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:31 pm

Fuck Paris.

Go to Venice.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:37 pm

Imagine that, Marty, tourists going to the Louvre and sampling traditional French fare in a French restaurant.

Yep, stretches the limits of credulity. You...fucking...moron.

For the record, we also went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Oh, and we visited Notre Dame Cathedral, the Arc de Triomphe and Napoleon's Tomb. More shockingly still, we took strolls on the Left Bank and dined on the Champs Elysées. Fuck, we even attended a live sex show in this cool little place across the street from an excellent crepier not too far from Notre Dame.

In fact, I wrote about that little excursion on this board, or one of the older offshoots. socalvansmack took quite a long while before he stopped ribbing me about my description of the male sex performer looking about as excited as some Mexican beating on a car seat in an auto upholstery shop.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:39 pm

Martyred wrote:So you had escargot and French onion soup in a cafe across from the Louvre and you were surrounded by chain-smoking Frenchmen, huh?

Did Edith Piaf serenade you while a mime pretended to be trapped in a glass box too?

Christ, if your going to make shit up, at least keep it in the realm of believability.

Raaather, I say. Next thing he'll be telling us that they serve "fish and chips" at pubs in London. Complete nonsense, of course.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:45 pm

Jerkovich wrote:

Go to Venice.

Never been, but my two oldest riends went a few years back, in midsummer.

They were truly amazed... that a place exists that makes Atlanta's summer weather seem nice.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:00 pm

What can I say? I loved Venice too. I could've done without the dog poop piled up in every narrow alley, but then those alleys are what they call "streets," and where else are the poor pooches to go?

Maybe pick up after your animals a little, Venicians?

Still, the single hottest woman I saw during our entire stay in Europe was this amazing brunette in a translucent skirt and proper heels leaning over the railing at one of the docks, the brilliant sunlight rendering her essentially nude below the waist.

So for that and that alone, Venice rules. They also had killer pizza, though since Venice was our first stop in Italy it also served to be the harbinger of things to come for Susan, who learned to her utter dismay that in Italy they don't really do Caesar salad.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:12 pm

Van wrote:Speaking of that cafe, the one shitty thing I will say about Paris is that they seriously allow smoking in their restaurants.

Didn't bother me a bit. I don't generally smoke tobacco but I did buy a pack or several of Gitanes while I was there. Got some pretty good cigars in Luxembourg, too.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:26 pm

Never made it to Luxembourg. Even though Switzerland always seems to nab most of the top spots on the "Best Places in the World to Live" lists, I've also read on more than one occasion where Luxembourg was described as "the most perfect country on Earth."

Supposedly it has all the charm and gorgeous architecture of pre-World Wars Germany and France while also maintaining the shimmering cleanliness and order of a Zurich. Including enormous per capita wealth, it's said to combine the best of everything, resulting in an amazing quality of life.

Oddly, everything I've read about Lichtenstein, which seemingly ought to be similar to Luxembourg in most of those same respects, says that it's just crushingly dull and generally should be avoided.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:52 pm

Van wrote:Luxembourg was described as "the most perfect country on Earth."

Supposedly it has all the charm and gorgeous architecture of pre-World Wars Germany and France while also maintaining the shimmering cleanliness and order of a Zurich.

It's really more of a city than a country. And, much to Marty's chagrin, you're apt to see something like this on early evening after a long afternoon of drinking beer in the plaza or shopping:

Nothing but bourgeois white people (mostly day tripping Germans) enjoying a nice, relaxing day of moderate drinking (thanks to an absence of British yobs), commerce and culture.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:57 pm

Yep, sounds thoroughly awful.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:16 pm

mvscal wrote:And, much to Marty's chagrin...

God damn you, 'scal...

God damn you...

:x

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:34 pm

Okay, we doin' pictures?

Smoked-out Jew tank from the '73 war

Taken at the Museum Of Zionist Aggression in Port Said

I'm serious...I think that's what the name of the museum was.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:03 am

I would suggest a fast drive through the Pont de l'Alma road tunnel.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:27 am

Diego in Seattle wrote:I would suggest a fast drive through Pont de l'Alma.

Is this French for a School Zone? You sick fuck...

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 4:13 am

The issue with eating at McDonalds is that like that 15 euro cup of espresso, the food over there is hideously expensive. Yes, we certainly ate at other places than the Golden Arches, but if starting your day with a 30 euro breakfast which consists of said tiny cup of espresso, a croissant, and a slice of cheese is a necessary part of your French experience, by all means, have at it and spend your money. Personally, we prefered to fill up in the morning with cheap food-- and something marginally recognizable, considering my grasp of French is abysmal --and save our sheckels for the museums and everything else.

On the other hand, you could load up on carbs and wolf down a 1 euro bagette and a can of Coke which is even cheaper than McDonalds, but try and go native and you'll quckly spend yourself into the poorhouse if you stay for any reasonable length of time.

To each their own. We had a budget and we stuck to it.

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 4:44 am

Van wrote:In fact, I wrote about that little excursion on this board, or one of the older offshoots. socalvansmack took quite a long while before he stopped ribbing me about my description of the male sex performer looking about as excited as some Mexican beating on a car seat in an auto upholstery shop.

Thanks for the advice, all.

It's a done deal. Flying out Sunday arrive Monday morning. Visiting my kid brother who moved there four years ago. He'll act as a buffer to my rusty high school French so long as I bring him jalapenos, tomatillos, and coffee liquer. Whenever he's back in Socal it's tacos 24/7 as you can't find any decent Mexican cuisine in Paris.

So it's Paris on a budget staying in his tiny apartment.

Taking high-speed rail to Nice and rented an apartment for four nights. May venture into Italy for a day but it's pretty open-ended. Monaco might be an option. Returning to Paris for three days. Hell of a lot to see. In addition to aforementioned Eiffel Tower to the Louvre looking to get to Montmarte and the Latin Quarter.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:21 pm

Geddy's voice was simply unbearable back then. Love how Lifeson's not buried beneath an avalanche of effects, though, the way he has been for the last two decades.

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 10:51 pm

Van wrote:Geddy's voice was simply unbearable back then.

Back then?

May have been forcing it during rush of the live show.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:46 pm

Yep, back then. He's long since dropped the screeching cat vocals in favor of lower-pitched, more subdued timbres that don't make your balls wish they were in Uruguay.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:35 am

Mehhh, why not chime in here? Nice is very pretty. If you stay there for more than a day, then rent one of those beach spots and kick back. You'll love the tranquil setting. Not much to do there but sight see and take pictures.

To the west is Cannes and there is far more to do. I've spent about 2 weeks there while in the USN. East of Nice is Monaco (Monte Carlo) and you'll be impressed at incredible inclines/declines while walking anywhere. IF you decide to enter a casino of any sort, jeans are not allowed.

No idea if Rooster is talking about the Muzzies on the Riviera or just Paris. The main problems are/were in Marseilles... if we're talking about the Riviera. Things may have changed since I've been there.

The older people love Americans because of WWII. They were very hospitable and don't mind if you can't speak their language. Just don't try speaking French and you'll be cool.

I would post pics but don't care enough to find, scan, host, then post them for losers like Van to critique and give long-ass responses of how he was in better locales.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:28 am

I went to Calais for a day, it was nice. If you have a few drinks and want to get back to the harbour, don't ask for 'La Porte', it doesn't mean what you think.

If you're worried about Jews, don't bother, the Germans cleaned them up in the war so there's still public transport, you needn't rent a car.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:55 pm

The Google one for translating written Korean/English is ALL fugged up.
It doesn't work, basically.

I'd bet it isn't worth a shit in other languages, either.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:45 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:Mehhh, why not chime in here? Nice is very pretty. If you stay there for more than a day, then rent one of those beach spots and kick back. You'll love the tranquil setting. Not much to do there but sight see and take pictures.

To the west is Cannes and there is far more to do. I've spent about 2 weeks there while in the USN. East of Nice is Monaco (Monte Carlo) and you'll be impressed at incredible inclines/declines while walking anywhere. IF you decide to enter a casino of any sort, jeans are not allowed.

No idea if Rooster is talking about the Muzzies on the Riviera or just Paris. The main problems are/were in Marseilles... if we're talking about the Riviera. Things may have changed since I've been there.

The older people love Americans because of WWII. They were very hospitable and don't mind if you can't speak their language. Just don't try speaking French and you'll be cool.

I would post pics but don't care enough to find, scan, host, then post them for losers like Van to critique and give long-ass responses of how he was in better locales.

Obviously you were there to shop for lingerie.

And you're dead wrong about trying to speak french. One of the french tour guides I met in Yosemite (lots of frogs visit there) said that the french will be more hospitable if one attempts to speak their language (as it would be anyplace). Nice fail there, Rupaul.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:32 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote: And you're dead wrong about trying to speak french. One of the french tour guides I met in Yosemite (lots of frogs visit there) said that the french will be more hospitable if one attempts to speak their language (as it would be anyplace). Nice fail there, Rupaul.

Look you kiddie diddling sandal wearing faggot, nobody asked for your opinion. Tell me how it is in France since you've met French people in where again?

Fuck off Diego in Sandusky...