Keep workin' out, ucant

[Mace]

As night began to fall on Chowd Town we find ucant sitting alone on his bed, as usual, engaging in what, for him, is a grueling workout with those pesky and muscle stinging 10 lb. weights. Ucant stares admiringly into the full length mirror on his wall as his puny but well oiled biceps glisten in the light as he struggles with the curls in preparation to inflict a real ass kicking on that old fart, Mace. He has been following that old sheep fucker around on a messageboard, nipping at his heels at every opportunity, but now that old bastard has stopped scrolling past ucant’s posts and is actually responding….and not in a kind way. Ucant knows it’s time for him to step up and engage this diaper wearing AARP member and put him to sleep once and for all. Ucant took offense when that old fucker made fun of him for saying UCONN basketball was better than Duke, and directed some unkind words toward him when he threw Felix under the bus in the NFL forum and threatened to delete Felix’s post.

But that ignorant old hick from Iowa can’t get over on the new NFL mod…..no siree. Ucant showed him by deleting his post and locking a thread. Take that you old bastard. These thoughts kept running through ucant’s mind as he continued to struggle with those 10 pounders and then, as if hit by a lightning bolt, he realized he was wasting his time with the curls and that what he really needed to be doing to prepare for this type of battle was to exercise his mind…..but not realizing that the only muscle bound part of his body was indeed his brain.

Ucant dropped the weights….with only one of them landing on his foot, which distracted him for several minutes as he wept with pain, but he then got up from his bed and walked over to the wall to begin his head exercises. Ucant began banging his head against the wall so viciously that he soon had a sizeable hole in the drywall of his efficiency apartment, and this took him back to his childhood days of banging his head in his crib….and memories of all the times his school mates banged his head into the lockers in the hallway and locker room in physical education classes.

These painful memories finally overwhelmed ucant and he stopped the headbanging as quickly as he had started. Ucant returned to his bed and began sobbing uncontrollably and knowing that he was stupid to challenge the old fart in a game of wits. But, not wanting to look like a pussy, he might have to try. “Oh well,” he said lying alone on his bed, “there’s no reason to let all of this body oil go to waste….I may as well have sex.” And he did.

[Cueball]

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

~cough~

[Atomic Punk]

ucunt abusing his m0d powers? Now why would an insecure muscle head with a Mike Tyson voice do that? ucunt, you should give up your m0d keys since you can't contain your emotions. Bad enough you and the Scrote had mutual sexual tensions vented here.

[Left Seater]

...dropped the weights….with only one of them landing on his foot

I laffed.

[Mace]

What do you call a little bitch who lacks the guts to respond to a direct callout on a messageboard? Well, I guess you call him a ucant.....a chickenshit who acts like a badge heavy rookie cop who pisses his pants when he's called out. In his defense though, he probably saves face by being a gutless bastard than actually posting some of his lameass "smack". I mean, him saying that he's "smacking the shit out of my diapers" is a pretty awesome retort to go along with his constant "you're old" and "you wear a diaper" references. :roll:

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

As evidence by the lack of RACKS from your fellow posters, this drivel isn't worth my time.

But feel free to blow the cobwebs off this piece of shit thread every day until it actually gets some attention.

[Mace]

As ucant awakens from a deep sleep following yet another night of incredible sex….yeah, he’s learned to use his left hand and now calls his sexcapades a 3-way……and finds himself lying in a pool of body oil from the overturned bottle on his bed. He rolls around in the pool of oil in an attempt to cover his body as he preps for yet another workout with the weights for his upcoming conquest of wits with that old fucker, Mace. Ucant rises from the bed, notices the hole he put in the wall from his head exercises, and decides to hang the naked picture of his sister over the eyesore, and then he gets to work.

Ucant knows that he has to respond to that old bastard’s uncomplimentary little story, so he sits at his computer to compose some world class smack directed at the diaper wearing old fool. He begins hunting and pecking at the keys as he decides to go with the time tested “you’re a diaper wearing, goat fucking…..oh wait, it’s sheep fucking…I gotta get this right…old coot, and I don’t like you.” Ucant scratches his head as he frantically tries to think of some even more awesome smack to throw at the old fart but can’t seem to come up with anything, and he begins to ponder the idea of just ignoring the callout and continue hiding and acting like he never saw it. “Yeah,” he thought, “that way I don’t have to post this same lame smack and expose myself even further as a smackless piece of shit.” He continues to weigh his options and trying to decide what might make him look the best in the eyes of the other posters on the board…..being a gutless piece of shit who refuses to respond to a callout or a smackless fool whose weapon of choice is to call Mace a diaper wearing sheep fucker. Ucant finally comes up with yet another option, and one he thinks will save face. Rather than try to come up with something original, ucant thinks he can go with the lamest of all lame smack by saying “it isn’t worth his time to respond to this drivel”….and qualifies it by saying it’s because of the “lack of racks by other posters”….and being too fucking stupid to realize that everyone was waiting for his response and, that by failing to do so only reveals himself to be a smackless and gutless piece of shit. Nice job, twatlips.

Or maybe the dim-witted ucant now realizes that when you start fuckin’ with old guys you run the risk of them going old school on you…..something he’s obviously ill equipped to handle….and that maybe he should just STFU and quit nippin’ at Mace’s heels. Time will tell if the stupid chowd has learned anything from this experience.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

You really think people were waiting for my response to drop a RACK on you? Just how bad is your dementia, grandpa?

And speaking of nipping at ones heels, are you really going through all the old threads I haven't responded to since last April and adding your takes to them? Because that's exactly what happened with the "Duke thread." I had no idea (nor do I give a fuck) you responded in it until you notified me via this thread. But hey, feel free to peruse every last post of mine since 2006 and bump those threads as well. You can't possibly look like a bigger joke than you do right now, so have at it.

[Mace]

This is a callout thread, you ignorant douchebag, and the only person who needs to respond is you. Still waiting, btw. Why, it was just the other day you were all puffed up in Jay's thread saying "I'm here" and wanting to go at it, so I started a thread just for that purpose. Now you're just showing yourself to be a dickless douche.

[Dee Snutz]

You can't possibly look like a bigger joke than you do right now, so have at it.

Don't ever say this about this fucking loser. He will prove you wrong everytime.

What do you call a little bitch who lacks the guts to respond to a direct callout on a messageboard? Well, I guess you call him a ucant.....a chickenshit who acts like a badge heavy rookie cop who pisses his pants when he's called out.

Although his assertion that messageboarding is somehow the measure of a man's courage is gonna be pretty hard to top for most loserly thing I have ever read on the internet.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Good old-school story telling Mace, well done.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

This is a callout thread, you ignorant douchebag, and the only person who needs to respond is you.

Make up your mind, gramps. You just said the reason people didn’t give your POS story any RACKS is because they were waiting for me to respond. Can you not even remember what you posted a half hour prior:

and qualifies it by saying it’s because of the “lack of racks by other posters”….and being too fucking stupid to realize that everyone was waiting for his response.

Your shit story was going down faster than Diego in an elementary school zone, was getting zero RACKS, and the reason for this is because I hadn’t responded? Really? How many times have you pressed F5 over the last 24 hours waiting for a response? And then to bump your own shit thread is just plain pathetic.

Still waiting, btw.

Waiting for what? A stupid fucking story that rivals your drivel? I can condense your shit story into one sentence – “Ucan’t rubs oil on himself and jacks off… the end.” How much time did you waste pumping out paragraph after paragraph of the same damned shit?

Why, it was just the other day you were all puffed up in Jay's thread saying "I'm here" and wanting to go at it, so I started a thread just for that purpose.

Why do you feel compelled to start a shit fucking thread that no one cared about? If I want to smack you, I do. I don’t need start another thread about it.

Now you're just showing yourself to be a dickless douche.

By taking the time to smack the shit outta yer diaper? Isn’t this exactly what you’ve been craving for the last 24 hours? You ought to be thanking me. Now maybe your day nurse can wait a few hours before the next change is needed.

[Mace]

Awww, ucant....that was a pretty..uhh...well, a pretty pathetic attempt at smack, but I assume you're doing the best you can, but would suggest that you might want to discontinue the headbanging routine. Who knows? It might help. At least it has to be comforting to know that Dee Snutz is in your corner. But, just so you know, the "you're old" smack isn't very fresh or original, but please keep it up if looking like a foolish dolt is your goal, my egotistical little friend.

You were waiting for "racks" before deciding to enter the fray? As if to make it deserving of your appearance? Well, hey, Dee Snutz likes your shit posts, so there ya go. That should be all that your self inflated ego requires.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

You were waiting for "racks" before deciding to enter the fray?

Link?

I never said that. I never even hinted at it. All I said was, that first post wasn't worth responding to. So I didn't.

If you need me to draw you a picture, I will.

[Mace]

Say what, dumbfuck?

As evidence by the lack of RACKS from your fellow posters, this drivel isn't worth my time.

But feel free to blow the cobwebs off this piece of shit thread every day until it actually gets some attention.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I stand by that statement. That drivel wasn't worth my time. It's still not worth my time. Your first post was, and always will be, shit. You got a mercy rack from your dear friend Jay after the fact.

Now. What does that have to do with me "waiting" for anything? I was simply telling you, the collective board had spoken (as evidenced by your lack of a rack) and it was determined that your post sucked major ass.

If you hadn't bumped this shit thread, it would have faded into obscurity, like many shit thread before it.

Are you seriously debating any of this?

[Mace]

The only person's attention needed in this thread is yours, dumbfuck, so it doesn't matter who "racks" a post. Got it, idiot? The fact that you bring absolutely nothing to the table and then try to attribute your complete lack of smack to the thread not being deserving of your time is laughable. It was you who wanted to come out and play, twatlips, and now I'm here to play. I realize it's difficult for you to find time in your busy schedule of oiling your body and watching yourself do those strenuous 10 pound workouts, and all of that mixed in with your active sex life, but, my God, you can surely find time to bring something to the fray, if for no reason other than to give your little dick a rest from all of the masturbating.

[Mace]

Ucant sits at his computer viciously pounding his keyboard, much like he was pounding his TVO sized dick the night before…..that 2” cock that stands as hard as play dough on a hot summer’s day….and just knows he’s posting insults that are crushing that old fucker from Iowa. He right clicks the mouse and hits copy to include the ever so effective “I’m smacking the shit out of your diapers” and then smiles to himself, not knowing that it only brings out the rolleyes emoticon in every reader’s mind, but yet he continues. Why, Kid Nashville thinks that ucant is getting the best of Mace….of course the delusional Kid also thinks he’s getting the best of Jay….now there’s a rolleyes for ya.

Ucant sits there at a loss for words that might actually inflict some damage or embarrassment to the old fart but this brain damaged moron just can’t come up with anything to type. Finally, he decides to make a list of all of the effective smack ploys that he’s used on that old fucker, and attempt to come up with a new strategy……

- You’re old smack (making sure to reference diapers and shitting his pants) ….check
- Dementia (old people always lose their memory, so this has to be a great smack point)….check
- Make fun of the callout thread and act like it’s not deserving of my attention….check

Ucant looks at the list and thinks “that’s a pretty awesome arsenal of smack right there and I don’t know how I can come up with anything better,” at least realizing that he actually can’t do any better but not realizing that his nic should probably be icant instead of ucant. The pussy then puts on his thinking cap and tries to figure out other ways to deflect the fact that he’s an ignorant fool.

[Goober McTuber]

Nice old school hair-pulling contest. Rack.

[Dee Snutz]

Hey, Ucant, let me give you some advice. You wanna find the real humor in Mace's posts since he's not really capable of it intentionally? Take a huff of some helium and then read his post back aloud so you get the full affect of what he really sounds like as he's raging. That's what his parole charges have been hearing for 32 yrs.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

The only person's attention needed in this thread is yours.

Exactly. And you haven't gotten my attention... yet. You sure as heck are trying though.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Ucant sits at his computer viciously pounding his keyboard.

Hmm... seems like you are the one mashing out word after word. How many words do you think you’ve posted in this thread compared to me? Probably 3 times as many… with very little results.

much like he was pounding his TVO sized dick the night before.

You've seen TVO's dick and have measured it? Are you smacking me... or you with this? Just curious.

that 2” cock that stands as hard as play dough on a hot summer’s day.

Not sure what this means. Except that you seem to be as well versed as Irie in the size of men's junk. So props on that, I guess?

not knowing that it only brings out the rolleyes emoticon in every reader’s mind, but yet he continues.

You are obsessed with that rolleyes emoticon, aren't you? You haven't posted one (towards me) since I called you out on it, but you can't stop talking about it, eh?

now there’s a rolleyes for ya.

Jesus Christ dude, just use the damned emoticon, will ya? I'll 'allow' it.

[Mace]

Yep, just as I thought. You've got nothing to bring to the table....no surprise there, idiot.

What ucant sees when he stands admiringly in front of his full length mirror.




And here’s what everyone else sees.



Yeah, shithead, I’d keep working out too if I were you and maybe you'll someday reach your goal of having that Paul Ryan body. :roll:

[Mace]

Exactly. And you haven't gotten my attention... yet. You sure as heck are trying though.

Uh huh, and yet you post in this thread and try to C&P your way into a post with a little smack. :roll: It ain't working, doucher, but please keep trying if you must.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Do you have some sort of spreadsheet that tracks cocksize? And what's with the pictures of shirtless dudes? Tell me... who exactly who are you supposed to be smacking here?

Furthermore, who aspires to look like Paul Ryan? Are you going to talk to me about his cocksize like you do other people?

What turns you on more, half naked pictures of dudes... or

[Mace]

I don't blame you for being embarrassed about having a tiny dick, you stupid fuckin' chowd, because, hell, who wouldn't be embarrassed? And no one would blame you for always wearing a shirt either. Dude, you've lots of work to do to even get to Paul Ryan's body and, even though it's not a body to aspire to, for you it's a place to start.

And why am I talking about cock size and posting pictures of shirtless men? Well, you said I needed to get your attention, twatlips, and somehow I just knew that would do it.

[Dee Snutz]

Do you have some sort of spreadsheet that tracks cocksize? And what's with the pictures of shirtless dudes? Tell me... who exactly who are you supposed to be smacking here?

Furthermore, who aspires to look like Paul Ryan? Are you going to talk to me about his cocksize like you do other people?

What turns you on more, half naked pictures of dudes... or

Now you've just gotten silly. Mace doesn't need to fuck sheep. He's happily married. And you know what kind of hot bitches parole officers pull. Here's his wedding picture.


And she's an earner.

[Mace]

Wouldn't you know it. When you start talking cock size and posting pictures of ewes, here comes ucant's little butt buddy, Dee.

[Dee Snutz]

Wouldn't you know it. When you start talking cock size and posting pictures of ewes, here comes ucant's little butt buddy, Dee.

Another fresh take from Mace. You should NEVER tell anybody their smack is weak. EVER.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Well, you said I needed to get your attention, twatlips, and somehow I just knew that would do it.

So, you've been reduced to playing the "I know I am gay but what are you" card? Oh wait... you honeymooned in KC (of all places), so you picked up some of their "smack" along the way.

And btw -- Dee is not my buddy. I have never once acknowledged this troll. Too bad the same can't be said for you and your pal, Jay. Talk about getting totally worked over...

Anyways. Keep on posting pictures of shirtless dudes and going on about the size of their cocks... all the while thinking it reflects upon me somehow.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I don't blame you for being embarrassed about having a tiny dick.

I am not embarrassed about my dick, I just don't feel the need to talk about other dude's dicks the way you do. How many poster's cocks are you going to talk about today?

[Mace]

Well, you said I needed to get your attention, twatlips, and somehow I just knew that would do it.

So, you've been reduced to playing the "I know I am gay but what are you" card? Oh wait... you honeymooned in KC (of all places), so you picked up some of their "smack" along the way.

You really aren't very bright, are you, ucant? The fact is that posting pics of shirtless men and talking about your short cock is exactly what got you into this thread to display your stupidity to all.....that and your futile attempt to save face by defending your tiny cock size.

[quot]And btw -- Dee is not my buddy.[/quote]

That's right, ucant......deny, deny, deny. :roll:

I have never once acknowledged this troll. Too bad the same can't be said for you and your pal, Jay.

Uh huh, his posts would lead any rational person to think otherwise but, by all means, keep up your denials. Btw, dumbfuck, your butt buddy is Kid Nashville.

Talk about getting totally worked over...

Yeah, that's what's happening to you in this thread. Are you sure you want to talk about that?

Anyways. Keep on posting pictures of shirtless dudes and going on about the size of their cocks... all the while thinking it reflects upon me somehow.

Well, you're the one who jumped in here with both feet after I posted that stuff. Apparently I'm just pretty good at knowing what it takes to draw a chickenshit poster into a fray. But it's okay, ucant, so don't fret it. You and Dee can still cuddle tonight.

[Mace]

I don't blame you for being embarrassed about having a tiny dick.

I am not embarrassed about my dick....

No? Well, you should be. Do you tell the boys at the gym that it was shot off in the war and try to make yourself out to be some kind of war hero who lost his dick in the service of your country?

[Dee Snutz]

I don't blame you for being embarrassed about having a tiny dick.

I am not embarrassed about my dick....

No? Well, you should be. Do you tell the boys at the gym that it was shot off in the war and try to make yourself out to be some kind of war hero who lost his dick in the service of your country?

Mace has a point here. He had a better plan. He just decided to hide his little dick by becoming an umpire/referee. That way he wouldn't have to shower w athletes. Just other tiny dick, failed athlete, jock sniffing losers that wouldn't laugh.

[Mace]

And, lo and behold, look who drops in to cover his little butt buddy's ass......literally too, I'm sure.

[Dee Snutz]

And, lo and behold, look who drops in to cover his little butt buddy's ass......literally too, I'm sure.

It's like Beetlejuice. Keep saying it, bitch.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

The fact is that posting pics of shirtless men and talking about your short cock is exactly what got you into this thread to display your stupidity to all.

More “I know I am gay but what are you”? Pathetic.

that and your futile attempt to save face by defending your tiny cock size.

I have never once talked about the size of my cock. Or anyone else’s cock for that matter. That is your area of expertise. Obviously.

Uh huh, his posts would lead any rational person to think otherwise but, by all means, keep up your denials. Btw, dumbfuck, your butt buddy is Kid Nashville.

Look it up. I have never replied to any of this shit troll’s posts… ever. Sadly, the same can’t be said for you. Search through my posts the way you found my takes on Duke from April. You won’t find one.

Yeah, that's what's happening to you in this thread. Are you sure you want to talk about that?

“I know I am getting worked over in that thread, but so are you.” Again with the KC smack?

Well, you're the one who jumped in here with both feet after I posted that stuff. Apparently I'm just pretty good at knowing what it takes to draw a chickenshit poster into a fray.

That is a lie. We’re still on page 1, so all you have to do is scroll up to see I had 5 posts in this thread before you started talking about cocks and posting pictures of dudes without their shirts on.

[Mace]

A chart of cock sizes? And a picture of a guy fucking a sheep? Seriously? :roll:

So you've been running around with a ruler to measure other guy's cocks? Why? Are you trying to prove that there are other short dicked guys in the world and that you're somehow "normal"....like TVO claims to be the "normal height"? Whatever trips your trigger, dude, but there's a reason that Dee always mounts you.