An early X-Mas Present

[Jay in Phoenix]

We three Tards of the one board are
Posting spam from near and from far
We are cretins, morons repeatin'
Gibbering, stupid Tards

O'oh, Tards who blunder, Tards not bright
Tards who spam with all Our might
Rear ends bleeding, still proceeding
Submitting Our ungodly blight

L T S, A. P. , Moving Sale
When We post it's with epic fail
Tards forever, ceasing never
Causing you all to pale

O'oh Tards asunder, Tards not right
Tards who love to black cock bite
Panty wearing, drunken swearing
Getting into dumbass fights

Pure nonsense to offer have We
Defending pukes on drunken sprees
Midgets of stature, brains are fractured
Livers shot, can't hold our pee

O'oh, Tards who chunder, Tards affright
Tards with paranoia might
Lying, spewing, ankle chewing
Ply you with Our drunken sight

Christmas time, its bitter perfume
Reindeer come to seal our doom
Sorrowing, whining, bleeding, dying
Sealed in our stone-cold tomb

Tards who know the end's in sight
Reindeer stomped by hoves of might
Bungholes bleeding, plungered reeling
We are not a pretty sight

[Sirfindafold]

[Biggie]

Yikes.

[Jacque Custodian]

Very messy.

Oui.

[Mace]

Rack Jay. The season is upon us.

[Wolfman]

[Dee Snutz]

There once was a moron from Phoenix
He would wipe the cum off his chin w a Kleenex
Jay was his name, poetry was his game
But his real talent was sucking on penis.

Gee, this is easy.

[Carson]

Umm, Dee...

It's Christmas time. The idea is to make up clever lyrics to Christmas songs or carols. Limericks are not Christmas tunes.

Looks like the reindeer will have lots of material to work with now that you've decided to stay.

[Goober McTuber]

I thought Kid Gashville Dee Snutz took his ball and went home.

[Dee Snutz]

Umm, Dee...

It's Christmas time. The idea is to make up clever lyrics to Christmas songs or carols.

I think the word "clever" is where your premise goes off the tracks.

[Mace]

I thought Kid Gashville Dee Snutz took his ball and went home.

He did, and he apparently decided to come back without his balls.

[Ken]

I think the word "clever" is where your premise goes off the tracks.

Yes, because this VVV and other dicksucking, cum-swallowing jokes can always be found in the dictionary next to ‘clever’.

There once was a moron from Phoenix
He would wipe the cum off his chin w a Kleenex
Jay was his name, poetry was his game
But his real talent was sucking on penis.

[Dee Snutz]

I thought Kid Gashville Dee Snutz took his ball and went home.

He did, and he apparently decided to come back without his balls.

Aren't you a probation officer? I remember career day at school when all the kids were lined up at that booth.

How many vocational rungs did you have to crash through to end up at that shit job? Although I'm sure it's very rewarding work .

[Mace]

Aren't you a probation officer? I remember career day at school when all the kids were lined up at that booth.

At your school??? They were likely lined up to meet their P.O. It's called an appointment.

How many vocational rungs did you have to crash through to end up at that shit job? Although I'm sure it's very rewarding work .

I was a probation/parole officer and spent 32 years looking across my desk at slack jawed mouth breathers like you. So, no, it wasn't all that rewarding.

[Dee Snutz]

Aren't you a probation officer? I remember career day at school when all the kids were lined up at that booth.

At your school??? They were likely lined up to meet their P.O. It's called an appointment.

How many vocational rungs did you have to crash through to end up at that shit job? Although I'm sure it's very rewarding work .

I was a probation/parole officer and spent 32 years looking across my desk at slack jawed mouth breathers like you. So, no, it wasn't all that rewarding.

Let's not forget 20 yrs as an umpire.

[Dee Snutz]

Aren't you a probation officer? I remember career day at school when all the kids were lined up at that booth.

At your school??? They were likely lined up to meet their P.O. It's called an appointment.

How many vocational rungs did you have to crash through to end up at that shit job? Although I'm sure it's very rewarding work .

I was a probation/parole officer and spent 32 years looking across my desk at slack jawed mouth breathers like you. So, no, it wasn't all that rewarding.

That's an interesting statement. Considering that I'm a law abiding, tax paying citizen.

[Dee Snutz]

Hey Mace, can I ask a question? Are you taller than 5' 6"?

[Dee Snutz]

Aren't you a probation officer? I remember career day at school when all the kids were lined up at that booth.

At your school??? They were likely lined up to meet their P.O. It's called an appointment.

How many vocational rungs did you have to crash through to end up at that shit job? Although I'm sure it's very rewarding work .

I was a probation/parole officer and spent 32 years looking across my desk at slack jawed mouth breathers like you. So, no, it wasn't all that rewarding.

You're a Napolianic limp dick loser, aren't you? 20 yrs as an umpire? Who wants to be an umpire? Failed athletes. That's who. But you figured out a way to sniff jock straps.

[War Wagon]

What's wrong with being an umpire? Not a damn thing, that's what.

Dee, you must be the life of every party.

[Dee Snutz]

What's wrong with being an umpire? Not a damn thing, that's what.

Dee, you must be the life of every party.

I am the life of every party. You know why? Because I dreamed of being the athlete. And was the athlete. Not the umpire.

[Mace]

Because I dreamed of being the athlete. Not the umpire.

And I'm sure that "dreaming" about being an athlete was as close as you ever got to being one.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I am the life of every party. You know why? Because I dreamed of being the athlete. And was the athlete.

[Derron]

What's wrong with being an umpire? Not a damn thing, that's what.

Dee, you must be the life of every party.

I am the life of every party. You know why?

Probably because you swallowed the whole loads with out missing a stroke.

[War Wagon]

I am the life of every party. You know why? Because I dreamed of being the athlete. And was the athlete. Not the umpire.

many athletes go on to umpire or referee after their playing days are over.

with every post, you dig the hole a bit deeper. pretty soon, you'll hit bottom.

[Mace]

So Kid Nashville decides to come back and go on a posting frenzy for the holiday season.....go figure. :roll: Well, Merry fucking Christmas, dumbfuck. Hope you enjoy Christmas dinner with your family.....and pay no attention when they talk in whispers and exclude you from the conversation. They're just asking themselves the same old question they ask every year...."why didn't we knock him in the head like a runt pig when he was born?"

And here's something from The Duke....

[Dee Snutz]

I am the life of every party. You know why? Because I dreamed of being the athlete. And was the athlete. Not the umpire.

many athletes go on to umpire or referee after their playing days are over.

with every post, you dig the hole a bit deeper. pretty soon, you'll hit bottom.

Name one athlete that went on to referee when his playing days were over. Show me a referee or umpire, and I'll show you a fucking loser. Or a pedophile.

[Dee Snutz]

Hey, Mace, didn't you say you were an umpire for 20 yrs? How old are you? Seriously, how long have you been a loser? Did you decide to go into umpiring the same time you realized you throw a ball like a girl?

[Mace]

I see you deleted your post about the height requirement for cops. One of the few good decisions you've made in here. You should use that delete function more often, twatlips.

[Dee Snutz]

I see you deleted your post about the height requirement for cops. One of the few good decisions you've made in here. You should use that delete function more often, twatlips.

Why aren't you a cop? Was it the height requirement? Tell us why you went on to end up as a corrections officer. And by that I mean tell us of how you failed at every other endeavor you pursued.

[Mace]

I see you deleted your post about the height requirement for cops. One of the few good decisions you've made in here. You should use that delete function more often, twatlips.

Why aren't you a cop? Was it the height requirement?

I think you're confusing me with Moving Sale, dumbass.

[Dee Snutz]

I see you deleted your post about the height requirement for cops. One of the few good decisions you've made in here. You should use that delete function more often, twatlips.

Why aren't you a cop? Was it the height requirement?

I think you're confusing me with Moving Sale, dumbass.

No, you're a probation officer, right? How dumb, untalented and worthless do you have to be to end up at that shit job?

[Dee Snutz]

Don't get me wrong. Thank God for morons like you.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I think you're confusing me with Moving Sale, dumbass.

So... besides being two of the worst posters on this site, you don't really have a lot in common?

[Dee Snutz]

It's unskilled, uninspired, talentless morons like you that provide us w umpires and referees.

[War Wagon]

Show me a referee or umpire, and I'll show you a fucking loser. Or a pedophile.

[Dee Snutz]

Show me a referee or umpire, and I'll show you a fucking loser. Or a pedophile.

Dare to dream. He's a loser that works out. The fact that you even know him makes you a weirdo.

[Mace]

Sniffle, sniffle....DeeTard and ucantgetlaid are pickin' on me...sniffle, sniffle.

[ML@Coyote]

Twas a few weeks before Christmas, when all night and day
Dee Snutz was worrying about what he might say.
He said he was leaving, but he couldn’t resist,
Reading threads and posts on the board that he missed.

At night he lay all snug in his bed,
While visions of racks danced in his head.
He so much wanted the respect of those guys,
That beating he received brought a tear to his eye.

A clever comeback was what he now sought.
His arms and legs shivered, his forehead grew hot.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and called for Kid Gash.

A voice sounded loudly from the new-fallen snow
Giving him inspiration of how this might go .
A dick sucking limerick was the key to his return,
On Jay in Phoenix he would apply the burn.

For hours he worked on his poem so clever,
He typed in the words, putting rhymes together
He laughed out loud as he wrote this hilarity
Surely this would secure his desired popularity

Convinced he had now written a sure-fire hit,
He pressed his little finger on the submit.
To his horror the responses were not as planned.
He was still a putz, his poem was panned.

A scolding from Mace, a critique from Ken
Warnings from Wags again and again.
Gibes from Goober McToober and Carson,
Derron and Mgo both piling on.

”Why don’t these boys at T1B like me?”
Dee says to himself, now down on his knees.
”I made fun of Jay, he should have gone south,
Now it’s me kneeling with a cock in my mouth.”

[Dee Snutz]

Sniffle, sniffle....DeeTard and ucantgetlaid are pickin' on me...sniffle, sniffle.

Life picked on you, loser. Thank God for the internet, right? Where you and your tiny dick, bad skin, hair loss, and shitty career can hide anonymously and finally be an Alpha male.

[Dee Snutz]

But in the end.. you're still a probation officer. And we thank you for that. Just remember that this is the next guy in line for your job.