gettin jacked up

It's the 19th Anniversary for T1B - Fuckin' A

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Douchebag
Step to me and you DIE!!!
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gettin jacked up

Post by Douchebag »

that's right, slapfucks. i've been pumping iron for hours and listening to some paul wall just gettin in the zone for what's to come this summer. june cannot come soon enough. i'm lifting, toning, fucking bitches, and staring down faggots who are afraid to step to me. they don't step and they smart not to.

Image

Paul Wall - March N' Step

I'm grinding
I'm posted up on the block like a stop sign
Raised off of instinct with a mind like Einstein
I'm a certified hustler and a G
Trying to metamorphasize a hundred two a hundred three
I'm chasing after currency and accumulating green
With the heart of a lion, I'm on the grind like a dope fien
I've got the street smarts of Avon Barksdale
I took a couple hits but I'm still flowing like blood cells
My money's empidemic, it multiply fast
I'm grinding in the cut like a piece of broken glass
Addicted to the hustle allergic to being broke
Never falling off cuz I stay on my note

You gotta march like a soldier (now all my hot boys march)
You gotta walk it like you talk it (we got the hot girls dipping)
You gotta march like a soldier (now all my hot boys march)
You gotta walk it like you talk it (we got the hot girls dipping)


fuck yeah!!! that shit straight pumps me the FUCK UP. just like stu scott, tom jackson and the crew, you gonna get JACKED UP!

bring it bitches! just fuckin bring it! it's fucking ON motherfuckers. it's fucking ON!
Get fucked, dick.
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DallasFanatic
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Post by DallasFanatic »

You doing any spring training events or just waiting for the summer?
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Bobby42
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Post by Bobby42 »

That explains the whimpering sounds in the basement. Bring out The Gimp.
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Adelpiero
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Post by Adelpiero »

hey douche,

i would like to be your first victum. should i pm you my address? or just expect a unexpected visit to my house?
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Douchebag
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Post by Douchebag »

Adelpiero wrote:hey douche,

i would like to be your first victum. should i pm you my address? or just expect a unexpected visit to my house?
i'm sticking to an itenerary, fuckhead. so if you want first dibs of getting beat the fuck down you'll have to fly out to tampa, where the tour starts. i'll gladly roll you before i light up that fairy cicero.

there should be some good deals on hotels in the greater tampa area. i might be able to hook you up with something downtown for like $75 if you can swing the plane ride. i've got some coupons too to some nice Choice hotels. let me know, pindick.

Image
Get fucked, dick.
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PSUFAN
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Post by PSUFAN »

you're gonna be DEAD after you reach PGH, bitch
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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Mister Bushice
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Post by Mister Bushice »

When you swing thru Cali, lemme know. I'll show up just to see if the color of the bruises match the pink shirt.

I'm not so worried about some angry fat gay guy getting in my face, but I'll bring a Streisand DVD along as a good will gesture.

I'll also dress oddly, to see if your "queer eye for the straight guy" genes will blossom.

I'm good like that. Helpful.
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SaladTosser
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Post by SaladTosser »

Every morning, when I awake, I thank the sweet Baby Jesus that my area is not on the list of tour cities. I can't wait to read the detailed stories of your collective carnage.
Bizzarofelice wrote:I drank as much orange soda as an inner city block party.
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RadioFan
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Post by RadioFan »

Dude, he's gonna tear up Mechanicsville's asshole with the combined strength of two faggots on a bottle of wine. Don't fuck with the Douche.
Van wrote:It's like rimming an unbathed fat chick from Missouri. It's highly distinctive, miserably unforgettable and completely wrong.
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Y2K
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Post by Y2K »

I hope Douchebag survives until September so I can beat this faggot senseless, haul him out to the west side and hand him over to migrant melon pickers from Guatamala so they hand have a new bitch to play "el Burro" with as they practice inking "La Raza" slogans on his forehead with their precision "Prison Tat" skills. Don't bother honing up on any spanish Douchebag because I doubt there's any translation for the words they'll have you squeeling bitch.

Cantua Creek or Mendota are definately on your agenda, make your time.
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smackaholic
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Post by smackaholic »

how far into the tour is pburgh? if it's early on, PSU, please refrain from killing him as it would cheat the rest of us. Think of your fellow trolls and just give him a good whipping. No breaking of major bones or anything as a broken femur would probably put him on the DL for the rest of the season.

So, can we all agree then. Let's keep it to deep bruises and lacerations. A stress fracture or two is OK, but, we don't need to have the board speedbag laid up with any sort of joe theisman type appendage breaks.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
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PSUFAN
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Post by PSUFAN »

I have a rolled up Mother Jones magazine that I beat my wife and dog with. I'm going to take it down to the Point and show douchebag a little love with it. If he survives that, I'll roll him up in a shower curtain and throw him on a passing coal barge. The subsequent leg of his tour will therefore be based on where the Ohio River can take him.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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Douchebag
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Re: gettin jacked up

Post by Douchebag »

i'm fucking sitting back here and laughing my ass off at you pathetic clowns. you have no idea whiat's in store for you. your arrogance is going to get you beat the fuck down. you think you can hang with me and you just have no fucking idea what kind of skill and beatdown ability i possess. i've fucked up more dudes in a week than all of you have combined in your entire, faggoty little lives. you really don't understand what you're dealing with here. i'm fucking dangerous.
Get fucked, dick.
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PSUFAN
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Post by PSUFAN »

Fuck this. Your life will END in Pittsburgh, where the Ohio River BEGINS.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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Bizzarofelice
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Post by Bizzarofelice »

Douchebag wrote:you want first dibs of getting beat the fuck down... there should be some good deals on hotels in the greater tampa area.
fucking tight. rack douchebag. People's Champ would be good to get you riled up, but Paul Wall is 2nd fiddle to any Memphis or Oakland sound. People's Champ is especially 2nd fiddle to Lil Scrappy.
why is my neighborhood on fire
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Douchebag
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Post by Douchebag »

PSUFAN wrote:Fuck this. Your life will END in Pittsburgh, where the Ohio River BEGINS.
make no mistake PSUFAN, YOU are at the top of my list, dickface. ive got something extra special in store for you. invite your wife, your family. i will beat the piss out of you so bad your wife will beg to fuck me. then i'll sit all you down afterwards and force you to drink beers and have a good time with me. you will smile and laugh nervously and I'll tell you that it's okay, i'm not going to hurt you anymore.

fucking BANK on that motherfucker
Get fucked, dick.
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PSUFAN
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Post by PSUFAN »

Sorry, guys - if he starts the tour in Pittsburgh, you're not getting a crack at him. I'll mail you each a puka shell as a remembrance.

I'm gonna call Franco Harris (I know him, asshole.) and we're going to eat you for lunch. Your wine-dark blood will soak that gay pink shirt through, and the birds will pick at your ruined little junk. Franco will pound and pound your eyeglasses into powder with his Carthaginian hammy fist.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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Douchebag
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Post by Douchebag »

fuck off.

where's a good place to grub in pittsburgh? i might catch a pirates game while im there too.
Get fucked, dick.
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PSUFAN
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Post by PSUFAN »

Franco's opening a restaurant on the North Side. He'll be able to serve Douchebag Sushi.
i might catch a pirates game while im there too.
I'm starting to suspect a trolljob. Not even a total douchebag would willingly endure such torment.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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Invictus
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Re: gettin jacked up

Post by Invictus »

Douchebag wrote: You gotta walk it like you talk it (we got the hot girls dipping)
Did he notify SD that he was going to steal from them?
by ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 on Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:30 am
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:

Right. Because unlike you, I actually respond to Vic. He's a funny poster
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Rootbeer
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Post by Rootbeer »

If you get anywhere between Las Vegas and Butte, Montana, I will gladly fight you.

What fighting style did you want to use? Boxing rules? Kickboxing? K1? UFC? Or tae kwon do style where we take turns jumping in the air and kicking in the other person's general direction without getting closer than 6"? If that's what you want to do, I'll just up and kill ya. Let me know how you're rolling this thing so I can brush up on the rules.

Let's do this thing. When & where, douche?
Ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby.
KC Scott

Post by KC Scott »

Douche,

If you make it to KC, we'll set up a mini troll stop in your honor. Paul, Wags, dave, Kaley and the whole gang will wait patiently for their turn, and not cut in line.

After all the beatdowns, you can have sex with Lana K.

Later, I'll do an awesome pic wytch of that and everyone will laugh and link to it.

It will be Epcot.

C U in JLY
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Dinsdale
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Post by Dinsdale »

KC Scott wrote:Paul, Wags, dave, Kaley

Two lards, a tard, and a dude with no nards....I'm sure Douchedawg is shaking in his shoes.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
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Dinsdale
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Post by Dinsdale »

KC Scott wrote:After all the beatdowns, you can have sex with Lana K.

Red Roof rents by the hour?

Sin,
Picker
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
KC Scott

Post by KC Scott »

Dinsdale wrote:
KC Scott wrote:Paul, Wags, dave, Kaley

Two lards, a tard, and a dude with no nards....I'm sure Douchedawg is shaking in his shoes.

Don't sell those guys short, all 4 of 'em together on DB could do something special.
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Douchebag
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Post by Douchebag »

Rootbeer wrote:If you get anywhere between Las Vegas and Butte, Montana, I will gladly fight you.

What fighting style did you want to use? Boxing rules? Kickboxing? K1? UFC? Or tae kwon do style where we take turns jumping in the air and kicking in the other person's general direction without getting closer than 6"? If that's what you want to do, I'll just up and kill ya. Let me know how you're rolling this thing so I can brush up on the rules.

Let's do this thing. When & where, douche?
the only fighting style i use is something called WHOOPASS. i will bring it and bring it hard. i've had black belts try to step to me on numerous occasions. all i do is stand there, watch the sweat drip from their heads while they stand in their faggotty little positions and then out of nowhere i throw a left hook.

on
the
fucking
ground
out
cold

i have to conserve some energy for this tour so most of you will be one punch knockouts. fuckstains like PSUFAN and Y2K i will spend a little more time toying with and tormenting. you DO NOT step to the fucking D and walk away unscathed.
Get fucked, dick.
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Enigmabag
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Post by Enigmabag »

Douchebag-

i know you have said a hundered times you are going to take care of business on this WHOOPASS tour all by yourself, but i want to go. so does li'l T-bag. you can deliver the beat downs and i'll take pictures of all the knocked out fucks getting their eye sockets covered by li'l T-bag. what do you say, bro?
Get bent, asshole.
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Dinsdale
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Post by Dinsdale »

KC Scott wrote:
Don't sell those guys short

Oh, that's exactly what I plan to do. Even if the Dow and Nasdaq jump 5,000 points in a day, I'll still make a killing after Douchedaddy does these clowns up by selling short. All the terrified yelps of "I know you are, but what am I" in the world won't ease the suffering that D-Dawg visits upon this unholy union of suck.


That is, of course unless...


Unless Dave brings his wife. Then all bets are off. I'd be forced to relinquish my charter membership in the Douchebag Fan Club, and I'll even turn in my Secret Douchecoder Ring.


OUT!
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Raydah James
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Post by Raydah James »

Dinsdale wrote:

That is, of course unless...


Unless Dave brings his wife. Then all bets are off.
BEATINGS!



Image


OUCH!
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Douchebag
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Post by Douchebag »

Enigmabag wrote:Douchebag-

i know you have said a hundered times you are going to take care of business on this WHOOPASS tour all by yourself, but i want to go. so does li'l T-bag. you can deliver the beat downs and i'll take pictures of all the knocked out fucks getting their eye sockets covered by li'l T-bag. what do you say, bro?
this kind of shit pumps me up

i have a small crew i roll with in case things get out of hand. sometimes i get so fucking jacked up i don't know how to stop and i beat on somebody's face until death sets in. i can use you to help pull me off fuckwads like PSUFAN if the beating gets too severe. i don't want to murder anyone, but fukin a, shit happens sometimes when adrenaline is doing its thing. you can roll with me on a leg of the tour.
Get fucked, dick.
Ruff
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Post by Ruff »

There is no doubt that this board doesn't lack for tough guys.

But all a ya gotta check yourselves, if you're talkin shit to Douchedrag.

Oh sure, some of you are bigger. Some are stronger. Some have trained more in the martial arts.

But none of you have the ANGER that Douche brings.

Take heed, step off.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny »

And to think I got bitched at last week for telling ol' double chin and his little toadie to quit staring at my ass...

See: You don't log in for a couple days, and everyone does a complete 180.
Winston Wolf:
If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car!
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smackaholic
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Post by smackaholic »

Dude's got 3 chins, atleast. He's gonna have a half dozen or so, when I get done with him.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
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poptart
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Post by poptart »

Douchebag wrote:on
the
fucking
ground
out
cold
Great troll, Wolfman.
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Cicatrix
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Post by Cicatrix »

Douchebag wrote: on
the
fucking
ground
out
cold
I think that OTFGOC should be our new "RACK".

Douchebag wrote: i have a small crew i roll with in case things get out of hand.
Pssssssst. They only look small next to your giant lump of laffy taffy lookin' ass.
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