black sheep in your family?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:29 pm

Jsc810 wrote:I'm trying to come to terms with being the biological grandson of a Nazi.

Thanks for the sig.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 3:29 pm

Jsc810 wrote:I'm trying to come to terms with being the biological grandson of a Nazi.

He's trying to come to terms with the fact that you surround yourself with homos and lesbians and call yourself "Chip".

I think you're both even.

DallasFanatic · Post by **DallasFanatic** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 4:56 pm

My brother.

He has had the "poor me, parents divorced, older brother (me) smoked pot in front of him which led to him using for the next twenty years, mom (the one who truly babied him) died 11 years ago, blah blah blah excuse" his entire adult life.

Won't grow up or take ownership of his decisions, can't hold a job (sup Jack Daniels) and is an all around loser. Tried intervention but that didn't work. Wife divorced him and now he is living out of his car. There's no more talking to him since he knows everything.

Thank God he didn't have children.

A sign of Armageddon is that he currently has a job and has held it for almost 3 months. Reality settles back in and the money from said job with no expenses other than gas, is that he still lives in his car. Wonder where that paycheck is going (sup meth, pot and booze).

Ahhhhh, that was better than a therapy session.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 5:18 pm

DallasFanatic wrote:My brother.

He has had the "poor me, parents divorced, older brother (me) smoked pot in front of him which led to him using for the next twenty years, mom (the one who truly babied him) died 11 years ago, blah blah blah excuse" his entire adult life.

Won't grow up or take ownership of his decisions, can't hold a job (sup Jack Daniels) and is an all around loser. Tried intervention but that didn't work. Wife divorced him and now he is living out of his car. There's no more talking to him since he knows everything. Thank God he didn't have children.

A sign of Armageddon is that he currently has a job and has held it for almost 3 months. Reality settles back in and the money from said job with no expenses other than gas, is that he still lives in his car. Wonder where that paycheck is going (sup meth, pot and booze).

Ahhhhh, that was better than a therapy session.

Smokes pot...check.
Drinks a lot...check.
Divorced...check.
No mom...check.
Can't hold down jobs...check.
Living out of his car...check.

Good fucking God! Your brother is Ricky!

:dfan: smiley needed

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 5:42 pm

You are on fire with the TPB resets. At least Ricky seems to be, "at heart," a decent individual who wants well for his daughter.

My cousin had a black son. He's 18 now. He's the only black person in our family.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:00 pm

I'm still waiting for Mace to weigh in on this one.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:37 pm

DallasFanatic wrote:My brother.

He has had the "poor me, parents divorced, older brother (me) smoked pot in front of him which led to him using for the next twenty years, mom (the one who truly babied him) died 11 years ago, blah blah blah excuse" his entire adult life.

Won't grow up or take ownership of his decisions, can't hold a job (sup Jack Daniels) and is an all around loser. Tried intervention but that didn't work. Wife divorced him and now he is living out of his car. There's no more talking to him since he knows everything. Thank God he didn't have children.

A sign of Armageddon is that he currently has a job and has held it for almost 3 months. Reality settles back in and the money from said job with no expenses other than gas, is that he still lives in his car. Wonder where that paycheck is going (sup meth, pot and booze).

Ahhhhh, that was better than a therapy session.

sounds like my little bro, other than he doesn't have the car. does seem to have a pretty good knowledge of area shelters/group homes so he keeps himself under a roof. about 5 years ago he moved to sofla and mouched off mom for a short while. after his act got old and she kicked him out, he quickly found out that being a fukking bum in that area sucks due to a pretty much non existent shelter system. was back in ct in very short order.

rack those fukkers for not wasting money on societal leeches.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:13 pm

KC Scott wrote:The hilarious thing about my brother in law is how he keeps working his father for cash. My wife estimates he's into him for well over 40K on legal fees, bail, car repairs, you name it. He still beleives one day the jackass will turn it around and he'll get paid back

i guess it's a hard thing for a parent to write off one of their spawn. I pray I never get to find out first hand.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:16 pm

smackaholic wrote:i guess it's a hard thing for a parent to write off one of their spawn. I pray I never get to find out first hand.

Well, if it happens, consider this....all the ass-raping taxes you spend to the state will be money well spent if your possibly dick kid leeched off the state for years. So you may have that going for you...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:44 pm

I disagree, indy. My tax dollars going to worthless drug addict societal leeches, are dollars poorly spent. Even if they go to my own child.

I have very, very little sympathy for such parasites.

There are those in society, who through no fault of their own are dependent on we more fortunate. I have no trouble helping them. But, drug addict P's OS sitting around with their hand out while they cry about their "disease" need to go ahead and eat a bullet.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:00 pm

smackaholic wrote:P's OS

I think you'd be further ahead if you just removed your apostrophe key from the keyboard.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:03 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:P's OS
I think you'd be further ahead if you just removed your apostrophe key from the keyboard.

you might be right, goobs.

actually, i typed it correctly, but, ucunt has hacked into my keyboard and keeps fukking with me.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:19 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Who is it, what did they do?

I'm trying to come to terms with being the biological grandson of a Nazi.

Why do you keep your failed marriage such a secret?
You're not shy about every other aspect of your life.

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:37 pm

dunno if you'd call her a "black sheep" but to me it's definatly my youngest sister. From my parents view it's probably me because of all the shit i give her..

anyhow..my sis is actually in labor right now with her 4th and 5th children from a 4th guy. the previous 3 kids' dads are either locked up or MIA. she's 24 and still lives at home with the 'rents. (and they wonder why i dont like to hang out over there all the time?) The new guy who seems like a pretty solid guy called me about a month ago and vented to me ...he gave her an ultimatum ..either quit smoking while prego or he's leaving...guess what she picked? She gotta have them smokes! Meanwhile..she's a leech on society : foodstamps and any other thing she can get from the state for free.

My wife's sister...same damn thing. 'cept she's a mudshark. the state of mississippi actually sees it cheaper to pay her to sit her fat ass at home with 3 kids (3 diff fathers) than to give her money for child care until her little oreo baby is over a year old. and she gets pissed at me for not wanting to bring the family over to visit in the godamn ghetto when we go down there for vacation....i love how these bitches play this "woe is me" card ..but yet keep fuckin' every guy in sight without even whispering anything about a rubber.

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:49 pm

to continue from my post since it's still fresh on my mind..

we recently (last July) moved my sis in law and her son and daughter into our home so she could get away from the shit she was going thru down south and maybe make something for herself up here. Stipulation was...she had until December to get a job. And no NI.G.G.ER fucking was going to go on in my house. I knew that would be the hard one for her....at the time she was 4 months prego with the baby due in december-ish if i remember correctly. Anyhow...3 months come and go and still no job. She thinks ..cause she gets 270 dollars in foodstamps that it was basically rent. Even tho her and her 2 mixed babies consumed well over that in a given month. Not counting the 24/7 constant use of utilities. Shit got old quick. She had the baby in late december...and i swear i've never felt the erdge to fucking punt a baby in my entire life until the 3 months that baby spent in my home. Every time it made a sound it was like nails on a chalk board and i just wanted to punt the fucker out the window. I still feel bad about that shit...

anyhow...end of january i start pressing her about a fucking job..."i've got apps in" etc etc...she hits me up after that convo about "have any good friends you work with you'd hook me up with?"

i think..hell ya! get her outta my hair..i gotta couple black dudes that like overweight fat bitches with big tits (which one dont?). My wife pulls me aside and is like "DONT!...she has herpes"

gezus christ....

anyhow..after pressing her for another 2 weeks about getting a job and out of the fucking house..she leaves in the middle of the night...apparently she has a nog come up from MS to pick her up.

the wife stopped me from throwing all her shit out (which the mother in law just NOW got out of the garage some 4 months later).

i'd still like to kick her in her fat fucking cunt.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 11:43 pm

Moby Dick wrote:we recently (last July) moved my sis in law and her son and daughter into our home so she could get away from the shit she was going thru down south and maybe make something for herself up here.

I must say, I'm suprised at the outcome. Inviting deadbeat relatives into your home always works out just fine.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:01 am

I like to think of myself as the "white sheep" of the family

- Index

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:02 am

mvscal wrote:
Moby Dick wrote:we recently (last July) moved my sis in law and her son and daughter into our home so she could get away from the shit she was going thru down south and maybe make something for herself up here.
I must say, I'm suprised at the outcome. Inviting deadbeat relatives into your home always works out just fine.

was trying to give the benefit of the doubt and give her kids a chance of a somewhat 'normal' childhood instead of running barefoot thru the low income housing complexes.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:08 pm

smackaholic wrote:I disagree, indy. My tax dollars going to worthless drug addict societal leeches, are dollars poorly spent. Even if they go to my own child.

You don't catch onto sarcasm much do you?

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:15 pm

God damn. I laughed about 5 times reading about Moby's mudsark sis-in-law. And yes, Moby, your sister would most definitley be considered a black sheep...the kind of black you find in Kenya.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:33 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:You don't catch onto sarcasm much do you?

Quick question... which do you think smackaholic is worst at?

A.) Landscaping
2.) Spelling its
D.) Reading/Comprehension
Ω.) All of the above

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:05 pm

Fucking A Moby. And I thought my cousin having a black baby was going to be the worst.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:18 pm

Alright. Here goes.

My cousin had a black baby at 20 in 1992. The story is she never told anyone she was pregnant, then all of the sudden went into labor in the shower.

Of course, no father around. My cousin probably has some development disability issues. She's always been heavy, has ALWAYS identified herself with blacks (she has worn and still wears FUBU shit), and has never held down a job. As far as I know, she still lives with my aunt and uncle. I don't know if she collects disability or not.

The kid is now 19 and we are all surprised with how well, relatively speaking, he has turned out. Growing up he always had some major behavioral issues (no fucking shit there). Was raised by his grandparents. Went to parochial school until high school, when he started attending an alternative school in suburban GR. We thought this would be the breaking point, but it wasn't. He graduated. He works, I think he's trying to get in to the local CC. Considering his background and circumstances, he probably can get a free ride to CC if he tries. He's started boxing, hangs out at a gym in GR, and he has really mellowed out for the most part, seems to be channeling energy into his boxing.

Being the only black boy in an all white family probably fucks with you badly, but he seems to have made it through it all. Has to be tough to when your mother can barely take care of you and is shunned by much of the family because of how messed up she is. But we all love the dude, he is family, after all.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:37 pm

smackaholic wrote:
KC Scott wrote:The hilarious thing about my brother in law is how he keeps working his father for cash. My wife estimates he's into him for well over 40K on legal fees, bail, car repairs, you name it. He still beleives one day the jackass will turn it around and he'll get paid back
i guess it's a hard thing for a parent to write off one of their spawn. I pray I never get to find out first hand.

Afraid your parents are finally about to give up on your fat worthless ass?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:43 pm

Mikey wrote:
Afraid your parents are finally about to give up on your fat worthless ass?

This is quite uncharacteristic fro you, Mikey.

Did someone magnetize your hip as a prank? Why so volatile?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 12:36 am

Martyred wrote:
Mikey wrote:
Afraid your parents are finally about to give up on your fat worthless ass?
This is quite uncharacteristic fro you, Mikey.

Did someone magnetize your hip as a prank? Why so volatile?

It's a the combination of excessive heat, jury duty, Vietnamese food and exactly 2 Modelo Especials.

Always makes me a little crazy.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:01 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:Being the only black boy in an all white family probably fucks with you badly,

And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this jizzmop... And this paddle game. - The jizzmop and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The jizzmop, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The jizzmop, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The jizzmop, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 3:45 am

Absolutely no doubt as to who the black sheep in my family is. I have a cousin who has done the following...

1. Got knocked up at 16
2. Got knocked up at 19 with another dude
3. Married the second dude who 10 years later was found to be molesting her daughter from the first dude
4. Attempted suicide by taking a shitload of pills and driving her car at high speed. Hit a tree and unfortunately walked away without a scratch.
5. Has been dealing and doing hard drugs for the last 30 years.
6. Is two years older than me (47) but looks like she's 70.
7. Got caught dealing and managed to not only spend a couple of years in the state joint, but also involved her two oldest kids who now are saddled with felony convictions thanks to their worthless ass mother.
8. Blames all this shit on her undiagnosed dyslexia.

Fortunately I don't have to see her very often. But when I do I want to puke.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 5:23 am

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 11:19 pm

Kinda hard on your niece, ain'tcha Jack? Hell, she's still got her whole life ahead of her.

I mean, so she went to prom with a complete douchebag. I'm sure she'll one day soon look back on that night and share a good laugh with her friends. It ain't like she popped out a couple crack babies with that wigga or sumpthin.

Oh, wait....

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:25 am

Mikey wrote:
smackaholic wrote:
KC Scott wrote:The hilarious thing about my brother in law is how he keeps working his father for cash. My wife estimates he's into him for well over 40K on legal fees, bail, car repairs, you name it. He still beleives one day the jackass will turn it around and he'll get paid back
i guess it's a hard thing for a parent to write off one of their spawn. I pray I never get to find out first hand.

Afraid your parents are finally about to give up on your fat worthless ass?

touche, slim.

i hope your fukking hip rusts solid.

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:43 pm

Toddowen wrote:
But I see in Moby Dick's case and a lot of others that you folks simply don't give a fuck what your family members think.

Should I? My sister, as well as my wife's sister is too busy watching "Teen Mom" or Jersey Shore on MTV to be cruising on the interwebs and just happen across a message board and see that some anonymous poster that goes by Moby Dick is telling someone's life story that mirrors theirs and automatically makes the assumption "thats my bro/broinlaw!"

they're both way too fucking stupid with their heads up their asses.

And both sides of the family know exactly how i feel about said females. Which is why neither women invite me to BBQs. (big loss there!) Do i give a fuck? No. Do the rest of the family understand? Yes.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:43 am

Toddowen wrote:I could add to this story. But I wont, simply because I hope a couple of family members are going to straighten themselves out, and I wouldn't like them to read anything here if they should happen onto this messsage board. It'd be a nice litte addition, though. But at least no black babies so far as I know.

But I see in Moby Dick's case and a lot of others that you folks simply don't give a fuck what your family members think. You don't believe that they're rehabilitable, or you think by dragging them over the coals that they'll be embarassed and possibly change their ways.

So much for my Dan Vogel moment.

Have a nice day

I think the hopey changey feelings pretty much run out around the age of thirty. If you haven't unfukked yourself by then, you won't.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Yeah, I guess. But, I bet the odds at that point are well below 1%.

Is it possible to purchase life insurance on such loser family members? I think dropping 20-30 bucks a month on such a plan with yourself as the beneficiary would be money well spent.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:16 pm

R-Jack wrote:

He just wishes he was black.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:01 pm

Toddowen wrote:I could add to this story. But I wont, simply because I AM the black sheep in our family.

FTFY.

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:40 pm

My uncle Larry takes the crown for black sheep.

This dude was just destin for failure ever since he was a little kid. The first signs of idiotic behavior started when he was 6 years old.

My mother (10 years old at the time) was playing jacks on the walkway by the side entrance of the house when she hears a faint sound coming from the backyard. She ignored it the first time, but then she heard it again. She gets up and walks toward the gate in the backyard and the sound is now becoming clearer. It's the words "Help me." She looks over the fence and discovers that her brother has hung himself with a rope tied onto the swingset. My mother rushes to his aid and cuts him loose. After minutes of coughing and turning every shade of blue you can think of my mother had to ask..."Larry, what in God's name were you thinking?" My uncle replied, "You know those western TV shows we watch all the time and the bad guy gets hung? Well, I always thought you could get out of that noose, but you can't."

This man has been through it all. He was discharged from the military after breaking a beer stien over a German officer's face in Berlin.

At one point in his life he was living in his van (and no it wasn't down by the river). All he had was his van, his clothes on his back, and an ashtray full of change. He needed a job, but he knew he needed to be clean, so he had to wash his clothes. He pulls up to a laundrymat, undresses completely in the van, runs into laundrymat, puts his clothes in the washer, and runs back into the van and waits for cycle to end. He runs back in there naked as the day he was born and moves the clothes over to the dryer. Of course, my uncle was drunk when was doing all of this. He's driving the van around close to the laundrymat looking for a box in a dumpster or something to cover his body with when he makes another dash for his clothes. He gets pulled over by the police and is arrested while completely naked for his first of three DUIs in his life.

He once had a job as a UPS truck driver and one night he fell asleep returning the truck back to the warehouse and he fell out of the truck (no doors on those things) while going about 30mph. My uncle bounced back up after roling down the street like a rag doll and chased the truck down and jumped back in it like it was a moving train. He later lost that job after his second DUI.

His third DUI came after Texas made this law that three DUIs would give you 25-life in state prison. My uncle, facing the prospects of spending the rest of his life in prison wisens up, reads a bunch of law books and represents himself in court and convinces the judge he could not be grandfathered into the the new law because his first two DUIs came before lawmakers put the law into effect. He gets out for time served (18 months stint) and is now being raised by my mother. She did everything for him after he got out of jail. She took him to get an identification, social security card, to the VA to get his teeth fixed, new clothes, and found him a place to live. She found him a job cleaning up Minute Maid Park after the ball games. He actually was doing well with the job and made supervisor on a crew until he started making threats of starting a union and then he got fired. He's been mooching off my mother since and has drawn unemployment up until this month. Not sure what he's gonna do next, but my stepfather says he'll leave my mom if she even thinks of entertaining the idea of my uncle living in one of the lofts in the barn on their retirement property. My mom thinks she can fix him, but I know its hopeless. I just have to remind her every now and then that she has two other sons she can spend time with besides my worthless uncle.

RossTheBoss · Post by **RossTheBoss** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:53 pm

i be the black sheep in my family yo i guess cuz i actually be black. well, i be black at heart. but fuck da haters. dis who i be, and i luvs me some me.

~Realness

RossTheBoss · Post by **RossTheBoss** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:56 pm

R-Jack wrote:

yo, dat nigga got some style, cuz.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:58 pm

RossTheBoss wrote:i be the black sheep in my family yo i guess cuz i actually be black. well, i be black at heart. but fuck da haters. dis who i be, and i luvs me some me.

~Realness

Rack RossTheBoss.

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:26 pm

My wife's brother.

His driver's license has been suspended for over 20 years consecutively due to unpaid fines. He continues to drive notwithstanding that fact, has spent some time in jail for it, and eventually racked up so many suspensions that he wound up with a felony conviction as a result (you need to rack up a lot of current suspensions to get to the felony level in New York, and usually, they don't bother putting you in jail the first couple/three times you get caught driving with a suspended license). In fact, he missed his own daughter's wedding because he insisted on driving, tried to pass another vehicle illegally, got pulled over, and of course they ran his license and saw all the suspensions on it, so off to jail he went.

He hasn't held a job in over 15 years. On prior occasions, he was an excellent worker until the first paycheck came, whereupon he promptly would blow it all on a multi-day bender which, of course, meant that he never came back to work.

He is now in need of hip replacement surgery. He has told his wife that the procedure involves temporary amputation and later reattachment of his leg. I haven't had a hip replacement yet, but I know a number of people who have, and I've never heard this before. I think he's pulling his wife's leg (pun not intended) in an effort to gin up some additional sympathy from her, and she's falling for it.

Meanwhile, he'll regale anyone who is willing to listen with tales of his allegedly Al Bundy-esque high school football career. It was funny (intentionally) when Al Bundy did it on TV. It's funny (unintentionally) when m2oodles does it in the BTPCF forum. But when he does it IRL, it's merely pathetic.