But I Love Her

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 7:31 pm

A white woman pimped out by two black men? Probably shutyomouth’s ex. I hope the twins are OK.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 7:38 pm

Pensacola?

You sure it didn't happen in Beatuponreallydumbhonkeysville?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:13 pm

I remember at the beginning of flight school in Aviation Indoctrination (AI) the C.O. gave his speech and toward the end said, "Let me give you advice of two things not to do... Don't marry a Pensacola woman or buy a used car from here."

My place on P'Cola Beach was a free whore house as the 3 of us threw parties at least every 2 weeks. That place was next to the Holiday Inn off the 3-mile bridge that was wiped out in a hurricane years ago and it was party central. I would tell my roommates from the USNA and Boston College to call Chuck the flight instructor and put the word out that it's on. Chuck could get 50 people over in one days notice.

There were girls from anywhere that would show up hoping for the "Officer and a Gentleman" miracle story and put out in hopes of getting a free ride for the rest of their lives. It was amazing at the amount of trim that would put out hoping for a nice life on our dollars.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:21 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:I remember at the beginning of flight school in Aviation Indoctrination (AI) the C.O. gave his speech and toward the end said, "Let me give you advice of two things not to do... Don't marry a Pensacola woman or buy a used car from here."

No mention of ladies’ bloomers and cameras? Tsk, tsk.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:22 pm

Atomic Pete Mitchell wrote:It was amazing at the amount of trim that would put out hoping for a nice life on our dollars.

Let me ask you something there, Maverick. How did you go from being the next ace at Top Gun to squeezing the puss out of an 80 year old's boil for a living? You were supposed to buzz the tower, not get buzzed and cower.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:05 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote: Let me ask you something there, Maverick. How did you go from being the next ace at Top Gun to squeezing the puss out of an 80 year old's boil for a living? You were supposed to buzz the tower, not get buzzed and cower.

Too many women, too many pills...

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:13 pm

Best AC DC song ever.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:48 pm

I remember one party that got the P'Cola FD involved. My USC buddy grabs my machete from the garage and goes out to the beach and chopped down our palm tree... after stripping down nekkid. Then he grabbed wood pallets from somewhere after digging a trench. He lights the pallets on fire and then throws the palm tree in after the flames went up to look like 20 feet high. He ended up flunking out of flight school and became a US Navy SEAL 2 officer that was in the Panama invasion during Manuel's regime. (He also described how the USAF fucked up with the new F-117A's while our guys were parachuting in).

Anyway, after the P'Cola FD put out the fire they told us to not do it again. Okay, cool...

Later I took Chuck on my dirtbike (nighttime) and gave him my beer to hold while we stormed the beach. I went up this steep sand hill and throttled it. I look back and Chuck held the beers as he rolled head-over-head on the way to the bottom of the sand dune. I looked back and could see the foam spewing out of both sides as he made his progress to the bottom.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:03 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:I took Chuck on my...back...on the beach. I looked back and could see...foam spewing out of...his...bottom.

Repent now, sinner.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:25 pm

Another party... some Boston idiot gets wasted beyond belief and puts his head through the drywall near the entrance.

A few days later the owner shows up and asks us to go to the BOQ back at the base for Spring Break so her daughter and fliends come over. I'm hung over and saw that 2x2 hole and leaned against it so she couldn't see the damage. My pussy roommates were about to agree and I told the old bitch that we have a legal contract and are staying.

However, I've stated that her daughter and friends were more than welcomed to stay with us honorable student pilots. "Herpo" from Boston and "Rat" from the USNA distracted her while hiding the fact I used the dishwasher with the stuff you clean dishes in the sink. I didn't see all of the foam/suds all over the kitchen floor as I stood my ground covering the hole.

"Rat" then had the balls to ask her for money to repair the staircase. Bitch said she'll raise our rent. I'm standing there shielding the wall while listening and she just left.

That reminds me of spearing jellyfish off the coast and planting a landmine field of about 20 with the tentacles up. I sat up on the balcony and laughed at the tourists that stepped on them... while drinking a beer, and then some.

I got a seagull story too.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:28 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:Best AC DC song ever.

You mean you've listened to them in the last 10 years?

Concur, btw... wait. How the fuck can you pick one AC/DC song and say that's their best? Like LZ, they've got so many good ones...

Top 5, certainly.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 11:07 pm

War Wagon wrote:How the fuck can you pick one AC/DC song and say that's their best? Like LZ

:? :? :? :? :? :? :? :?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:46 am

War Wagon wrote:
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:Best AC DC song ever.
You mean you've listened to them in the last 10 years?

Concur, btw... wait. How the fuck can you pick one AC/DC song and say that's their best? Like LZ, they've got so many good ones...

Top 5, certainly.

If Bon Scott had avoided freezing to death we might be able to talk about AC/DC as a "top 5" band. But Brian Johnson had one great album and 30 years of rehashed dreck with AC/DC.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:47 am

KC Scott wrote:This.

I like Angus, Brian and co as well, but you may notice that certain songs sound the same

To put them in the same sentence with LZ is blasphemy

Agreed. While AC/DC are certainly entertaing and can rock with the best of them, after a point, the songs blur.

Give me side two of Led Zepplin IV any day of the week.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:45 am

You dorks...

Shoot to Thrill is a Top 5 AC/DC song...

AC/DC is certainly not a Top 5 band.

Omg, what? You thought I meant....

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:20 am

Atomic Punk wrote:I got a seagull story too.

Yeah, I read your letter in Penthouse's Forum, you sick fukk.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:03 am

KC Scott wrote:To put them in the same sentence with LZ is blasphemy

I was just messing with ucant, if you must know. Which is not to be confused with messin' with Sasquatch.

But since our friendly neigborhood Chowd thinks he can rank AC/DC songs, for his benefit, I'll rank a LZ song, which he has refused to listen to for what, 21 years now?

On any given day, this is one of my Top 5 LZ songs. Most days, probly.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:27 am

Atomic Punk wrote:I remember at the beginning of nursing school at the University of Phoenix the online professor emailed me and said, "Let me give you advice of two things not to do... Don't take pictures in women's underwear and don't distribute them on the internet."

My studio in Fresno was a barren shithole as me, Jack, and Kevnic threw parties at least every 2 weeks. That place was next to the Hope Depot where I worked part time and it was party central. I would tell my roommates from the futons down the hall to call the escort service and put the word out that it's on. They could get over 50 skanks (and a few dudes) over in one day's notice.

There were girls from anywhere that would show up hoping for the "Did you know I was an admin at several boards?" miracle story in hopes of killing the clock and getting the fuck out of there. It was amazing at the amount of trim that wouldn't put out while enjoying a nice life on our dollars."

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:39 pm

I see Wags stumbled upon the tasty morsel I left for him. Only took about an hour.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 11:42 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:I see Wags stumbled upon the tasty morsel I left for him. Only took about an hour.

Yeah, you're real clever that way. :roll:

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:12 am

War Wagon wrote:You dorks...

Shoot to Thrill is a Top 5 AC/DC song...

AC/DC is certainly not a Top 5 band.

Omg, what? You thought I meant....

Top 5 AC/DC songs

1. Whole Lotta Rosie
2. Jailbreak
3. Let There Be Rock
4. Problem Child
5. Sin City

Nothing Brian Johnson ever did could hold Bon Scott's frozen stiff ballsack.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:40 am

Disagree. AC/DC songs should be ranked with only one thought in mind... will this help me get this hot bitch nekkid, faster? In that vein:

1. You Shook Me All Night Long
2. Shoot To Thrill
3. Given The Dog A Bone
4. Hells Bells
5. Shake A Leg

or basically, the entire Back In Black album.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:49 am

Mace wrote:Yeah, you're real clever that way. :roll:

What do you know about trolling, you goat fucking cockmaster? If I'm ever seeking advice on zoophilia, feel free to chime in... until then.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 2:28 am

BSmack wrote: Nothing Brian Johnson ever did could hold Bon Scott's frozen stiff ballsack.

Speaking of, I wonder if this was the chick who dropped her ballsack in Goobers mouth. Screwey wants to know.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:04 am

War Wagon wrote:Disagree. AC/DC songs should be ranked with only one thought in mind... will this help me get this hot bitch nekkid, faster? In that vein:

1. You Shook Me All Night Long
2. Shoot To Thrill
3. Given The Dog A Bone
4. Hells Bells
5. Shake A Leg

or basically, the entire Back In Black album.

Well, I did have a chick simulate oral sex on me while I sang Hells Bells at a local bar. She was even halfway decent looking. But she was crazy as fuck. Then she gave me her business card and said she could get me a real good deal on a used car.

Give me Bon Scott any day.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:35 am

BSmack wrote: Top 5 AC/DC songs

1. Whole Lotta Rosie
2. Jailbreak
3. Let There Be Rock
4. Problem Child
5. Sin City

Replace "Let There Be Rock" with "The Jack" and you got yourself a deal.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:47 am

Carson wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:I got a seagull story too.
Yeah, I read your letter in Penthouse's Forum, you sick fukk.

While I agree with BSmack on the Bon Scott days, as "Let There be Rock" and will say "Highway to Hell" were the best albums. "Back in Black" under Brian Johnson was the last good AC/DC album... the song that made me go from playing acoustic to electric was "Whole Lotta Rosie." Back then it seemed like genius to play that song when I left the Supertramp and Cheap Trick days back i the mid-70's.

I would like to ask Wags if he even knew who Bon Scott was.

Seagull story quickly: As I would watch my daily refreshed minefield of upside down jellyfish for the tourists to step on... while I had a tapped keg on our balcony (BTW, it was cheaper to buy 12 packs than ice over time).

We had all of these seagulls flying over and I started throwing up bread crumbs and they were catching every one of them as they went into a right pattern. When I ran out of stale bread then I had a jar of pennies and they swooped those up also.

THEN... since I used to dip Copenhagen, I would load fresh chaw up into nuggets of fresh bread since they would consume anything... I watched a few land by the water and they were shaking there heads after drinking sea water and started rocking back and forth as they were buzzed. Big waste of good Copenhagen.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:44 pm

BSmack wrote: Well, I did have a chick simulate oral sex on me while I sang Hells Bells at a local bar. She was even halfway decent looking.

I've seen your picture. I call bullshit.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:07 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
BSmack wrote: Well, I did have a chick simulate oral sex on me while I sang Hells Bells at a local bar. She was even halfway decent looking.
I've seen your picture. I call bullshit.

There's something about singing that makes girls loose their shit. Even Meatloaf got mad trim.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:36 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
Mace wrote:Yeah, you're real clever that way. :roll:

What do you know about trolling, you goat fucking cockmaster? If I'm ever seeking advice on zoophilia, feel free to chime in... until then.

Yeah, I know absolutely nothing about trolling. :roll: And it's sheep, dumbass, not goats.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:09 pm

You know about as much about trolling as you do for where to go on a proper honeymoon. I am sure your wife really appreciated it when you jammed a piece of BBQ down her throat and said, “I know you’re a fat disgusting pig, but what am I? Welcome to KC, baby!” This was the beginning of the end for you, goat fucker.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:11 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:You know about as much about trolling as you do for where to go on a proper honeymoon. I am sure your wife really appreciated it when you jammed a piece of BBQ down her throat and said, “I know you’re a fat disgusting pig, but what am I? Welcome to KC, baby!” This was the beginning of the end for you, goat fucker.

Who the hell gave AP the keys to UCant's account?

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:48 pm

BSmack wrote:
ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:You know about as much about trolling as you do for where to go on a proper honeymoon. I am sure your wife really appreciated it when you jammed a piece of BBQ down her throat and said, “I know you’re a fat disgusting pig, but what am I? Welcome to KC, baby!” This was the beginning of the end for you, goat fucker.
Who the hell gave AP the keys to UCant's account?

All of those roids are having a negative effect on his spreadsheet.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Apr 21, 2011 5:40 pm

My 'spreadsheet' is working just fine, thank you:

search.php?keywords=honeymoon&terms=all ... mit=Search

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 5:53 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:My 'spreadsheet' is working just fine, thank you:

search.php?keywords=honeymoon&terms=all ... mit=Search

Holy balls of fuck. I thought I had a photographic memory.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:24 pm

War Wagon wrote:Disagree. AC/DC songs should be ranked with only one thought in mind... will this help me get this hot bitch nekkid, faster? In that vein:

1. You Shook Me All Night Long

Had the pleasure of watching my 2 son's girl friends ( "slightly" drunk

) and 2 of her friends do a pretty raunchy dance scene to this song at my other sons wedding last summer. Nothing like watching a quad of well put together early 20's hot looking drunk chicks do a dirty dance...me and a couple of the older guys got in a bit of hot water for some "inappropriate" hooting and hollering at them...Oh well..love to see that again...

Would have loved to been in my boys place later that night.... :D :D :D

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:38 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:A white woman pimped out by two black men? Probably shutyomouth’s ex. I hope the twins are OK.

You know - I'm gonna ship those two fuckers to your house one of these days.

I hope you're talking about the twins. The two black men should be shipped to Pickle.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:25 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:My 'spreadsheet' is working just fine, thank you:

search.php?keywords=honeymoon&terms=all ... mit=Search

You the man. :roll:

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 1:08 am

I thought seeing For Those About to Rock live was pretty sweet.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:43 pm

The past several years they've played Back in Black when the Iowa football team comes out of the tunnel before a game.....something that I've done for years at our high school baseball games when the team takes the field. I think Iowa stole it from us.