The old-school beer commercial thread

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:53 am

We kick off with Bobby Moore, the only England captain to lift the World Cup, quite rightly taking the darts off his missus;

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:11 am

Oh, and a non-beer one;

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:21 am

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:09 pm

John Smiths through the ages;

ADAM · Post by **ADAM** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:14 pm

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:25 pm

Moron.

chargerfan · Post by **chargerfan** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:03 am

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:16 am

nish,

Is black label as horrible in england as it is here? did your grandparents drink it? seems like it was everybody's grandpa's beer when I was a kid.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 11:10 am

It's now called Carling, and is seen as the lowest of the low. Even below Budweiser.

XXXL · Post by **XXXL** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 4:51 am

My sister and I were trying to remember the name of the beer the old man used to drink, I think it was Schaefer Beer...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:48 pm

[beer jingle]schaefer is the one beer to have, when your having more than one.[/beer jingle]

absolutely wretched swill, but, when you are 18 and don't have a lot of money, it indeed was the beer to have when you are having more (a lot more) than one. We used to get long neck bottle cases at a local packy for 4.99. Gawd, was it awful, but, after the first 6 or so, it tasted slightly less awful.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:03 pm

mvscal wrote:[Truly one of the most vile, wretched brews on the planet.

Yup... it's almost as bad as Fat Tire.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:09 pm

XXXL wrote:My sister and I were trying to remember the name of the beer the old man used to drink, I think it was Schaefer Beer...

Yep, Schaefer is definitely some of the worst beer ever made. It makes Black Label taste tremendous by comparison.
I had a friend who was jonesing for beer one night, and we had none. All of a sudden, a light seemed to go on in his head - and off he went. 40 minutes later he came back holding a case of Schaefer Light. It seems his uncle had died the day before. The old fart always kept a case of this shit in his basement, so my friend broke into the dead man's house and spirited the case out the window.

We didn't complain about the disrespect, we complained that the beer tasted like shit - but we still drank it gladly.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:12 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Yep, Schaefer is definitely some of the worst beer ever made.

Directions for making horrid beer --

Step 1) Get yourself a bunch of wheat...

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:15 pm

All time classic beer commercial --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz-WuLQz_ns" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:58 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:Yep, Schaefer is definitely some of the worst beer ever made.

Directions for making horrid beer --

Step 1) Get yourself a bunch of wheat...

Never had anything worse than

.

Headache guaranteed from the first sip -even worse than generic beer

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:09 pm

Carling didn’t seem that bad to me. Of course, I was 15 at the time. I was living in Ohio then and remember a couple of others that were big there: Stroh’s Bohemian and Hudepohl.

Moved to Wisconsin about then and Schlitz and Pabst were fairly popular. Pabst was not a bad tasting beer back then; never cared for Schlitz. Truly shitty Wisconsin regional beers back then were Holiday and Potosi.

Came to college in 1970 and the old Kollege Klub sold Grain Belt shorties for a quarter. A quarter would also get you two hard-boiled eggs, so you could grab a quick lunch for a buck.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:25 pm

Blatz is about the worst beer I've had. If there's anything worse, I'd like to try just for curiosity sake.

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:45 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:If there's anything worse, I'd like to try just for curiosity sake.

not sure if its still 89 cent per 40. but after awhile the horrid peroxide aftertaste goes away.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:05 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:If there's anything worse, I'd like to try just for curiosity sake.

Fat Tire.

Altough... not too long ago,someone handed me a 24 ounce can of something I believe was called Hurricane High Gravity, or some such thing.

Damn. Almost as bad as Fat Tire. On the plus side, I guesds it makes for one hellacious cheap buzz, if that's what you're looking for.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:21 pm

I remember one commercial jingle back from the days of my youth, growing up downstate...

"Schaefer...Is The...One Beer to Have When You’re Having More Than One!"

What a great freaking sales pitch - "If you're gonna get fucked up, drink OUR BEER!"

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:29 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:...never cared for Schlitz.

My dad used to drink Schlitz. He died young.

Speaking of bad beer, anybody remember Falstaff? They had a brewery in Omaha. I can't imagine anything good ever coming out of Omaha.

As for Pabst aka PBR, that wasn't bad beer at all. Kinda' like Old Style or Olympia... right in a broke dick motherfuckers price range.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:31 am

This one's gotta rank among the bottom feeders...

Hate to experience what the first 101 tasted like.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:00 am

Do a blind taste test of the generic American macros and the results may surprise you.

In my informal kitchen test, Hamm's and Schlitz came out on top for my palate. The offerings from Miller, Bud, and Coors (the "acceptable" beers to the average Joe) rounded out the middle and lower tiers, along with beers like Pabst, Blatz, Strohs, Old Style, etc.

At the bottom were City Lager (LaCrosse), Coors Light, Olympia, and the worst of the worst, Old Fucking Milwaukee.

Grain Belt is in vogue with the hipster crowd in Minneapolis, but I think it's pretty mediocre stuff.

My favorite cheapies back in the day were Ballantine, Hamm's, and Hauenstein.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:29 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:Strohs

Horrid.

But back in high school, they came out with the concept of a 15 pack, when the twelver just wouldn't do, and it was dirt cheap, and therefore was consumed by the boatload.

Grain Belt is in vogue with the hipster crowd in Minneapolis

I live in the "hipster" capital of the world, and that crowd wouldn't be caught dead with anything but a PBR in their hand. Kind of a horrid concoction, but on the plus side, many downtown clubs sell a 16oz PBR for a buck-and-a-half, which can be handy after one blows their evening's budget on more palatable quaffables.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:36 pm

When I was in college, the local Liquor Mart brought in a few hundred cases of 8oz bottles of PBR for the student trade. Something like $4 a case plus another buck or buck and a half for the first time deposit on the bottles. Good times, lotsa hangovers.

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:03 pm

chargerfan wrote:

Hey don't I know that guy?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:06 am

The fuel of my underage drinking years was Busch Pounders.

"Head for Busch Beer
head...for the mountains"

God, it sucked - but god, it was cheap

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:17 pm

Was I the only one reminded of this whenever I heard Fred Thompson?

As for bad beers, these have to be at or near the top of any reasonable worst beers list:

Sorry, Fester, but I gotta call 'em like I see 'em. I think I have to go puke now, just from the mere thought of these monstrosities.

T1B

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