A Public Service Announcement for the Reindeer

[Cuda]

Please be careful out there.

[Donder]

Better chance of getting hit by a plane than getting run by an AP.

[Dasher]

Fuggin' hilarious!!! LOL!!

-Jack, Wolfman

[Donder]

Part of me wishes you could ignore posters in this dump, but then I remember it is my civic duty to learn those bitches.

[Plato]

Those fuckers at El Al are really funny. The desert shall bloom with Reindeer turds come Monday morning.

[PL]

Those fuckers at El Al are really funny. The desert shall bloom with Reindeer turds come Monday morning.

since when is "Plato" a reindeer?

[Blitzen]

Those fuckers at El Al are really funny. The desert shall bloom with Reindeer turds come Monday morning.

since when is "Plato" a reindeer?

Since before your mom rubbed her oozing snatch on the greasy curb at 42nd & Broadway and impregnated herself with a genetic cocktail of rat, pigeon, and hobo semen.

[Plato]

Those fuckers at El Al are really funny. The desert shall bloom with Reindeer turds come Monday morning.

since when is "Plato" a reindeer?

I'm the brains behind the scenes PL. You think organizing the Fatman and his people with our people happens by magic? An operation of this size and scope requires complex logistical preparation and pinpoint execution on a scale that you can never comprehend. You'll excuse me while I go over some new modeling results in preparation of the big day.

[Slasher]

Those fuckers at El Al are really funny. The desert shall bloom with Reindeer turds come Monday morning.

since when is "Plato" a reindeer?

I'm the brains behind the scenes PL. You think organizing the Fatman and his people with our people happens by magic? An operation of this size and scope requires complex logistical preparation and pinpoint execution on a scale that you can never comprehend. You'll excuse me while I go over some new modeling results in preparation of the big day.

Do ya need any of these queers roughed up or cut up boss? I could use the extra dough for the holladay.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Since before your mom rubbed her oozing snatch on the greasy curb at 42nd & Broadway and impregnated herself with a genetic cocktail of rat, pigeon, and hobo semen.

Jeebus Blitzen, thanks for that lovely visual. The Holiday is now complete. Cheers.

btw---was that the same method of esmackulate conception by which Cumslinger was...born?

[Tom In VA]

btw---was that the same method of esmackulate conception by which Cumslinger was...born?

Cleverly done.

RACK

[Blitzen]

Since before your mom rubbed her oozing snatch on the greasy curb at 42nd & Broadway and impregnated herself with a genetic cocktail of rat, pigeon, and hobo semen.

Jeebus Blitzen, thanks for that lovely visual. The Holiday is now complete. Cheers.

btw---was that the same method of esmackulate conception by which Cumslinger was...born?

Mildly similar.

Cumslinger was not born so much as he was conceptualized. If you’ve ever wondered why angels are white with flowing robes, death is black with flowing robes and a scythe, Santa Claus is fat, bearded, jolly, and wearing a red suit, and Cumslinger is a sub-human moshpit of idiocy please read on.

When the collective imaginations of enough people gather in the ether they begin mingling. Certain properties of the imaginations repel each other while others attract. Although a piece of imagination is smaller than an ion they contain the ability to collide and combine into a tangible object over time.

Fear of death was the first of man’s fears. It was the first great demon that haunted men’s imaginations. At approximately 4280 b.c. human imagination solidified into a skeleton wearing black robes and carrying a scythe. It is believed that the skeleton represents dying, the robe represents the mystery of death, and the scythe represents the tool of death.

Over time more people populated the earth and questions arose as to how Death could travel to so many locales so quickly in order to separate the departed spirit from the stiffening body. Thus Death was imagined traveling on the fastest form of transportation available at the time. A horse. At approximately 2882 b.c. at 23:50 hours the horse solidified into a physical presence. Death was very grateful.

Within the underworld it’s generally accepted that Death’s horse will eventually be replaced by a Porsche, SR-71 jet, or some motorcycle Van is selling. The prevailing theory as to why the horse is still Death’s main form of transport is that new forms of transportation developed too quickly. People’s imaginations are scattered among too many options and the ether is just a big mess of ideas without a singular focus. Eventually Death will probably ride the information superhighway. When that happens sell your record player cuz you’re fooked.


Angels came about much the same way but I won’t go into that topic because nobody really gives a shit about angels.

Santa Claus embodies toys and sugar because that’s what kids think about constantly. Parents try to see love, charity, and joy in the season because they’re dimwits. As the population of heathens who don’t believe in Santa grows in the Middle-East, baby boomers get older, and population rates decline in English speaking countries, it’s possible that their baby boomer thoughts will effect a change in Santa. He could begin looking like a youthful Wilford Brimley. He may drive a small red sports car and give out Viagra and Ensure at Christmas. In order to combat this potential tragedy there are several covert efforts underway to focus people’s attention toward a cruise ship reaper. Ideally a black caped narwhal would materialize from the ether and kill enough baby boomers to retain our Christmas traditions.

And now Gunslinger.

Gunslinger is what he is because of us. Unwittingly –no one would have done it intentionally I’m sure- we as a people have been picturing the bottom of the human gene pool in our minds. For thousands of years we’ve pondered and imagined how the absolute stupidest, most horrifyingly pathetic human being would look, smell, and communicate.

Our bits of thought collected and refracted for millennia and eventually Gunslinger took form. Gross and misshapen he embodies the repugnance we all envisioned. Horribly inane, but willing to communicate in mass quantities, he poxes the world and this bulletin board. The only way to destroy him is to unimagined him(virtually impossible) or create something that would consume him. The catch is that the solution is often worse than the problem and even if it wasn’t the personification of an anti-Gunslinger being would take thousands of years. By that time we’ll all be dead and the Grim Reaper will probably be killing people on the internet so what does it matter?

There are a few ideas on how to accelerate the process of materializing thoughts. It’s a little known fact that the Matrix was originally based on the idea of a race of beings who were trying to manipulate the thoughts of “human” beings en masse. The humans’ manipulated thought was solely focused on generating a being capable of destroying Gunslinger. Unfortunately Keanu Reaves showed up and fucked up the experiment like he does everything else. Asshole.

[Jay in Phoenix]

And so it was that Blitzen came to lead the slay one night.

Rack you my good reindeer.

R.I.P. Gunslinger, may he rest in pieces.

[Mississippi Neck]

Since before your mom rubbed her oozing snatch on the greasy curb at 42nd & Broadway and impregnated herself with a genetic cocktail of rat, pigeon, and hobo semen.

Jeebus Blitzen, thanks for that lovely visual. The Holiday is now complete. Cheers.

btw---was that the same method of esmackulate conception by which Cumslinger was...born?

Mildly similar.

Cumslinger was not born so much as he was conceptualized. If you’ve ever wondered why angels are white with flowing robes, death is black with flowing robes and a scythe, Santa Claus is fat, bearded, jolly, and wearing a red suit, and Cumslinger is a sub-human moshpit of idiocy please read on.

When the collective imaginations of enough people gather in the ether they begin mingling. Certain properties of the imaginations repel each other while others attract. Although a piece of imagination is smaller than an ion they contain the ability to collide and combine into a tangible object over time.

Fear of death was the first of man’s fears. It was the first great demon that haunted men’s imaginations. At approximately 4280 b.c. human imagination solidified into a skeleton wearing black robes and carrying a scythe. It is believed that the skeleton represents dying, the robe represents the mystery of death, and the scythe represents the tool of death.

Over time more people populated the earth and questions arose as to how Death could travel to so many locales so quickly in order to separate the departed spirit from the stiffening body. Thus Death was imagined traveling on the fastest form of transportation available at the time. A horse. At approximately 2882 b.c. at 23:50 hours the horse solidified into a physical presence. Death was very grateful.

Within the underworld it’s generally accepted that Death’s horse will eventually be replaced by a Porsche, SR-71 jet, or some motorcycle Van is selling. The prevailing theory as to why the horse is still Death’s main form of transport is that new forms of transportation developed too quickly. People’s imaginations are scattered among too many options and the ether is just a big mess of ideas without a singular focus. Eventually Death will probably ride the information superhighway. When that happens sell your record player cuz you’re fooked.


Angels came about much the same way but I won’t go into that topic because nobody really gives a shit about angels.

Santa Claus embodies toys and sugar because that’s what kids think about constantly. Parents try to see love, charity, and joy in the season because they’re dimwits. As the population of heathens who don’t believe in Santa grows in the Middle-East, baby boomers get older, and population rates decline in English speaking countries, it’s possible that their baby boomer thoughts will effect a change in Santa. He could begin looking like a youthful Wilford Brimley. He may drive a small red sports car and give out Viagra and Ensure at Christmas. In order to combat this potential tragedy there are several covert efforts underway to focus people’s attention toward a cruise ship reaper. Ideally a black caped narwhal would materialize from the ether and kill enough baby boomers to retain our Christmas traditions.

And now Gunslinger.

Gunslinger is what he is because of us. Unwittingly –no one would have done it intentionally I’m sure- we as a people have been picturing the bottom of the human gene pool in our minds. For thousands of years we’ve pondered and imagined how the absolute stupidest, most horrifyingly pathetic human being would look, smell, and communicate.

Our bits of thought collected and refracted for millennia and eventually Gunslinger took form. Gross and misshapen he embodies the repugnance we all envisioned. Horribly inane, but willing to communicate in mass quantities, he poxes the world and this bulletin board. The only way to destroy him is to unimagined him(virtually impossible) or create something that would consume him. The catch is that the solution is often worse than the problem and even if it wasn’t the personification of an anti-Gunslinger being would take thousands of years. By that time we’ll all be dead and the Grim Reaper will probably be killing people on the internet so what does it matter?

There are a few ideas on how to accelerate the process of materializing thoughts. It’s a little known fact that the Matrix was originally based on the idea of a race of beings who were trying to manipulate the thoughts of “human” beings en masse. The humans’ manipulated thought was solely focused on generating a being capable of destroying Gunslinger. Unfortunately Keanu Reaves showed up and fucked up the experiment like he does everything else. Asshole.

Plato needs to look over his shoulder. Blitzen's coming on...

[Cuda]

Our bits of thought collected and refracted for millennia and eventually Gunslinger took form. .

Well, there goes my "spore" theory...

[PSUFAN]

Hey, he can have at my axe wound. Twice, even.

--nocal snowpig

[Plato]

Plato needs to look over his shoulder.

Your concern, though well intended, is unnecessary. I need not look over my shoulder as our society is unlike yours. You see, we are more esoteric and cerebral than you 2 legged types and we’re far beyond the traps that plague mankind. My statement about being the brains behind the scene was just a simple way of making you understand my role, not a slight to my fellow reindeer. Our capacity for kindness and generosity is eclipsed only by our vast knowledge and our incredible thirst for humor and entertainment. That’s where you people come into play. Most of you will never know the pain of being used as one of our playthings, be thankful. Those who brought our wrath upon them for deeds we have deemed appropriate, are ordained to live out their pitiful life in shame and sorrow.

Merry Christmas Neck!

Blitzen's coming on...

Oh no, not again!

sin,
Gunslinger back

[Ingse Bodil]

Those fuckers at El Al are really funny. The desert shall bloom with Reindeer turds come Monday morning.

since when is "Plato" a reindeer?

Since before your mom rubbed her oozing snatch on the greasy curb at 42nd & Broadway and impregnated herself with a genetic cocktail of rat, pigeon, and hobo semen.

That's disgusting.

[Sammy]

That's disgusting.

I'll take "Things IB's gynecologist says" for $1000, Alex.

[Britney's Discharge]

^^^^^^ rack

[Ingse Bodil]

it's pretty sad when somebody has to rack themselves with their own troll.

[Britney's Discharge]

I'm not Sammy's troll or vice versa. Lighten up.

[Blitzen]

^^^^^^ rack :lol:

it's pretty sad when somebody has to rack themselves with their own troll.

I'm not Sammy's troll or vice versa. Lighten up.

IB, if we look at this logically we'll see that Britney's "rack" contained six of these ^. Typically that indicates that she's racking the sixth post up which would be mississipi neck. I'd appreciate it if you would please put all your effort into uncovering why mississipi neck is racking a one-line post with a troll as lame as Britney's Discharge. Please use private messages or start a separate thread at .net to conduct your investigation.