What religion would you LEAST like your child to believe in?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:50 pm

Since most posters are Protestants, or at least were raised in Protestant families, assume you have one or more children, and they, despite your best efforts, have decided to think for themselves and adopt a faith other than that in which they were raised. What religion would most piss you off?

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:56 pm

Seems you'd have to be pretty much a masochist to want to be a Jew...

Wouldn't be too big on my kid becoming a Hari Krishnan or a Jehovah's Witness either.

Still though, a fundamentalist Muslim would have to be the worst. I'd always have to worry about the little fucker trying to blow my shit up and if we had a younger daughter she'd never get a moment's peace, what with always having to deal with Big Brother leering at her crotch every time he happened to be holding a butter knife...

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:11 pm

I'm going to go with Quaker...reason being, your kids usually end up doing what you'd least want them to do.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:12 pm

I'll go with "all of the above."

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:12 pm

Muslim. I'd have to hate them, and I dont want to have to do that.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:13 pm

My son can join any church other than the Church of Van Almighty.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:20 pm

poptart wrote:My son can join any church other than the Church of Van Almighty.

:P :P :P

Niiiice!!

(Btw, I wouldn't accept him as a member. He'd likely be too brainwashed already to ever be able to keep up in class. He'd probably drop his crayons in somebody's graham crackers milk glass and then he'd think that all he has to do is recite twenty little nonsensical nothings in order to get back into our good graces and dammit, I just couldn't countenance such spiritual sloth.)

Ruff · Post by **Ruff** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:17 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:Since most posters are Protestants, or at least were raised in Protestant families, assume you have one or more children, and they, despite your best efforts, have decided to think for themselves and adopt a faith other than that in which they were raised. What religion would most piss you off?

I guess my parenting style is different than yours.
I always encourage my kids to think for themselves.
For this reason, because it's well thought out on their part, I wouldn't care what they choose to believe.
Church of Van Almighty? I really don't what to know what tenets and doctrines they have.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:22 pm

My mom isn't thrilled that I gave up Roman Catholicism to become Episcopalian, but my father honestly couldn't care less (typical Italian male, distrustful of the Church).

Islam is devoid of any positives, Horseshit religion, horseshit rules - worse than most Christian denominations.

mothster · Post by **mothster** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:23 pm

catholic

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:25 pm

Ruff wrote:I really don't what to know what tenets and doctrines they have.

Guitar playing would be invovled in the services, no doubt.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:29 pm

Does one "believe in" a religion or practice it ?

I believe in God. I do not practice any religion or religious rituals.

That being said, I'd take a happy, compassionate, well adjusted atheist over a brooding, tortured, and torturous "believer", any day of the week. But I don't have kids.

Cicatrix · Post by **Cicatrix** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:16 pm

Catholicism.

Never seen a bigger group of hypocrits twist and turn and rationalize their beliefs so that they can go about their sin filled lives and still proclaim to be a catholic.

It may be fucked up and evil but at least the muzzies stand by their shit.

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:31 pm

Jehovah's Witnesses

Just because of Christmas.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:41 pm

I'll go with all of them as well.

Not too big on organized religion, for a number of reasons. Most that all of them are very judgemental, which I believe is a process reserved for the Big Man anyway.

You can believe in whatever you want to, and worship any time or any place. I don't go to church, but I do support a young man who has a youth ministry, and is a special needs teacher. I give him about $ 100 a month or so to do whatever he wants with.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:44 pm

mvscal wrote:I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be beheaded by followers of L Ron Hubbard, so I'm going to have go with The Religion of Peace.

i agree.

also, $cientologists get excommunicated if they go broke and snake handlers don't generally live long enough to be that big a problem for most civilizations.

and i don't recall ever hearing any stories about militant bhuddists stirring up shit

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:08 pm

any chance cindy sheehan could be persuaded to convert?

she'd make a nice fire

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:37 pm

I hear that the Other religion is pretty extreme.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:23 am

I'd have to go with Socialism.

RedHerring · Post by **RedHerring** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:28 am

Famous Buddhists:

It'd be better if my kids were gun toting Sikhs or Muslims...

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:39 am

I see I'm the only vote so far for atheism.

I don't preach to my daughter about what to believe in, but hopefully, she'll believe in something.

It's worked pretty well so far. She'll be leaving for Ecuador on a vacation Bible school mission trip in exactly one week, now that her passport finally arrived today 6 weeks after she paid $140 for it.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:54 am

do they still have cannibals in ecuador?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:13 am

Cuda wrote:do they still have cannibals in ecuador?

Thanks, Coods.

That's all I need to be worried about.

And here I was worried about whether or not she'd have internet access on her laptop...I'm worrying about whether she'll be able to charge her cellphone....

Thanks again, Coods.

*She ain't going, PERIOD!

*As if I could stop her.

WhatsMyName · Post by **WhatsMyName** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:16 am

Born Again Christianity or Islam. Depending on which horse has better endurance, one beats the other at the finish line by a nose.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:04 am

do they still have cannibals in ecuador?

^^^^^^
I think they're just communists !!
Rack War Wagon's kid !!

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:17 am

Rack Cuda..........

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:27 am

RadioFan wrote:
Ruff wrote:I really don't what to know what tenets and doctrines they have.
Guitar playing would be invovled in the services, no doubt.

Guitar worshipping, you infidel fuckstick, guitar worshipping!

First fuggen day of class and already you're running afoul of the covenant. Christ, I might as well just toss you a hottie and an apple tree and get it over with 'cause you're obviously gonna tap out early.

Fuggen noobs.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:34 am

War Wagon wrote:I see I'm the only vote so far for atheism.

I don't preach to my daughter about what to believe in, but hopefully, she'll believe in something.

Your beef is with agnostics, not atheists. Atheists DO believe in something. Their approach is every bit as Faith based as any devout religious person's.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:39 am

I'll take my penance -- 10 listenings of Elegant Gypsy, a couple of dozen Return to Forevers and some recent Vai of which I've been extremely neglectful in partaking.

Forgive me.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:05 am

Dude, because of your initial indiscretions you're already banished for a millenia or three.

Wanna work on the 72 virgins angle next?

(P.S.-Gotta love a God who refers to you as "dude", and who includes P.S.'s in his written missives. No fuggen grey areas with this here deity, oh hell no. I'll let you know where you stand, right now, every time. All in all you'll find me to be pretty much the quintessential player's God...)

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:38 am

I'd like to pencil in cargo cultism. The air fare to melanesia is a bitch.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:28 pm

What's the differecne between Ignorance, Apathy and Athiesm?

I don't know, I don't care and I don't give a damn.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:31 pm

Ignorance, Apathy and Athiesm?

Van, MtLR, and mvscal?

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:29 pm

It's worked pretty well so far. She'll be leaving for Ecuador on a vacation Bible school mission trip in exactly one week, now that her passport finally arrived today 6 weeks after she paid $140 for it.

Where no doubt she will meet a good looking Latino stud boy named Alfredo who will most likely fuck the shit out of her numerous times, and then convince her to renounce her heathen US ways , or who may simply put another notch on his Latin crank and look for the next easy church girl that comes along.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:36 pm

No Alfredo sauce for Whitey’s little heifer, she’s a carpet-muncher. Large flannel shirt out front should have told you.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:49 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:Speaking of kids:

My Jesus-lovin' son has been in and out of trouble his entire life. Still a bit aimless and troubled. My agnostic son has never had a problem and has his life going in a great direction.

Does this mean a damn thing at all?

BTW, I love 'em both more than anything.

I was raised Catholic, but it never really took. I can't remember, even as a kid, buying into its teachings or rituals. None of my three children were/are given a strong religious upbringing. My older son is 27, agnostic, seemingly well-adjusted (though, to my way of thinking, under-ambitious and sometimes riled by petty annoyances), and fairly happy with his life (single, law firm clerk, vegetarian, liberal enough to make me seem like Pat Buchanan, and somewhat of an activist). My 23-yr-old daughter is married w/ two children, a conservative, church-going Protestant whose husband aspires to become a preacher, works in accounting, looking to buy a first home, happy, and well-adjusted. My 12-yr-old son, who lives w/ his mom in SoCal but spends his school breaks w/ me here in VA, is happy, has seen much of this country, been to Paris, is gifted (he is enrolled in Johns Hopkins University's Center for Talented Youth, and began a three-week resident math course at Stanford as part of that program this past weekend), plays baseball and bassoon, and seems to be on his way to becoming a contributing member of society.

Frankly, I don't really care what religion they believe in or practice, as long as their decisions are based on rational thought, and their actions are good and just.

And I love the hell out of all three of 'em.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:59 pm

Derron wrote:...or who may simply put another notch on his Latin crank.

Seems like that would be painful. Damn savages.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:33 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:
Tom In VA wrote:Does one "believe in" a religion or practice it ?

I believe in God. I do not practice any religion or religious rituals.

That being said, I'd take a happy, compassionate, well adjusted atheist* over a brooding, tortured, and torturous "believer", any day of the week. But I don't have kids.

So we're brothers now?

:D

Always have been. I'm not a holy man, I aspire to be I suppose, but I am not. Nor am I the best example of a believer. But I do believe in God and I believe that Jesus was who He said He was and did what He was supposed to do.

I believe there are people who do not call or label themselves Christian that act and are more "Christian" than me, one who was raised Catholic.

Terry in Crapchester · Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:59 pm

Fundie, Muslim, Scientologist or polygamist Mormon. I also wouldn't be too thrilled about Jehovah's Witnesses, Hari Krishnas or Moonies.

Any of the others is okay as long as the kid is well adjusted.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:29 pm

I think I'd also have a problem with my kid worshipping Touchdown Jesus...

:-)

T1B

What religion would you LEAST like your child to believe in?

What religion would you LEAST like your child to adopt?

What religion would you LEAST like your child to believe in?

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