T1B

Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:22 pm If we're remaining serious in this thread, and you do indeed have a massive schlong, why would you want an eagle that could land on this massive schlong?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:59 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:22 pm If we're remaining serious in this thread, and you do indeed have a massive schlong, why would you want an eagle that could land on this massive schlong?

That's an excellent point I hadn't considered. Being a noted black man, you understand the struggle is real.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 2:41 pm Esteemed members of T1B,

As I'm sure many of you know, "emotional support animals" are all the rage in 2019. I've been contemplating getting one for quite some time to alleviate my anxiety due to the very rare condition I suffer from known as GDS (Giant Dick Syndrome). Yeah believe it or not, it's possible to have a schwank so large that it's emotionally burdensome. It's a real struggle going out in public wondering if every person I come into contact with is staring at my massive schlong. But I don't want a cat or dog, too cliche. Therefore I've whittled my selections down to three animals. Please help me decide, my faithful compadres.

A. Emotional Support Harpy Eagle

Bald eagles get all the publicity, but the harpy eagle is the true bad ass of the sky. These fuckers are among the world's largest and most powerful eagles, and sit atop the food chain.

B. Emotional Support Goliath Birdeater Spider

The name says it all. These spiders are so huge, they prey on birds. They also have a nice layer of hair, so you can cuddle up at night and stay warm.

C. Emotional Support Angler Fish

This one would be tricky as I would have to cart it around in an aquarium all day. But it might be worth it as the angler fish is so bizarre looking, it would steal all the world's eyeballs away from my enormous wang.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 6:52 pm You are obsessed with other men's junk.

Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:22 pm If we're remaining serious in this thread, and you do indeed have a massive schlong, why would you want an eagle that could land on this massive schlong?

Derron wrote: ↑Sat Dec 14, 2019 2:00 am

Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:22 pm If we're remaining serious in this thread, and you do indeed have a massive schlong, why would you want an eagle that could land on this massive schlong?

Figures the moment the big dong talk started the bi curious in you would come out and get you asking dong questions.

Rack Mgo for a decent thread BTW.

Smackie Chan wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 4:38 pm I've given this a lot of thought, and while I believe you have unnecessarily and unfortunately constrained yourself by limiting your options to just these three candidates, I will stay within those limits in my forthcoming analysis.

I think it's safe to first eliminate the angler fish, not just for logistical and maintenance reasons, but primarily for your own genital safety. Granted, I am making certain assumptions here, one of them being that the fish will occasionally see you sans clothing, and could tragically mistake your impressive, albeit burdensome, trouser trout for one of the, say, rainbow or brook variety. I don't think I need to go into more detail regarding the potential outcome of such a sighting, especially if the tank's lid isn't secure or is non-existent.

While the harpy eagle may, at first blush, appear to be a fine option, let's not discount the possibility that it might, at some point, encounter a bird-eating spider. Then where does that leave you? You guessed it - no more harpy, and no more emotional support.

Which leaves you with the only logical choice. While we humans are limited to only two appendages with which to provide hugs during times when the need for emotional support is at its peak (ok, maybe four for the limber among us), the bird-eating spider has eight - count 'em - EIGHT long, furry ones to really kick it up a notch when those embraces are most needed. And as you mentioned, the cuddle factor is among the most important when making such a crucial decision. (Another reason to easily eliminate the fish from consideration.)

So there you have it. In my humble opinion, no further input is needed. YW.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: ↑Fri Dec 13, 2019 2:41 pm my massive schlong.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: ↑Sat Dec 14, 2019 4:52 amKeep up the good work, fellas. Take it one day at a time, one post at at time. Put your blinders on, keep grindin', keep choppin.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: ↑Sat Dec 14, 2019 4:52 am tiny penises and bad football fans

Dinsdale wrote: ↑Sat Dec 14, 2019 4:34 am You root for MSU, but you didn't graduate from MSU -- ERGO(Latin), you in fact have a tiny penis, like your buddy Screw.

Mgo wrote:MOTHMAN OF LAKE MICHIGAN