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Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 5:47 pm
by Donald Trump
My advisors told me to start working the message board circuit, so here I am. First off, let me just say anybody who doesn't vote for me is a loser. The vast majority who plan to vote for me are also losers. Losers with sense.

I have to be honest with you people. If I had my way, I'd round up every last person in this country who isn't a white male with a net worth of less than $500 million, and send them all to extermination camps. Now I know what you're thinking. The population would die off if we eliminated all the women. Small price to pay for making America great again. Actually, I would make an exception for my daughter whom I would allow all of the rich men in our new society to impregnate, under the stipulation that I get to watch.

But I'm as realistic as I am honest and I know that platform won't fly with you peons. So I'm here today to dispel a few things about myself. Lyin' Ted and all the haters accuse me of being tight lipped about my policies. Well I am literally tight lipped. I'm trying to appeal to the young female vote by working on my duckface selfie game:

ImageImage

What do you guys think? Sexy, huh?

As for the specifics of my policies, what do you really need to know? Take healthcare for example. There are people out there who need healthcare. I plan on giving them access to healthcare. The rest is just a bunch of boring paperwork.

Homeland security? "Dark hair and olive skin -----> you ain't comin' in." That's our new motto. And you already know about my plan to build a wall around Mexico. It's going to be 50 feet high, capped with gold, and holograms of my face stretching the perimeter of it. If Mexico doesn't pay, then we'll force a few thousand illegals into slavery and have them build the wall, then kick them over the other side as soon as it's finished.

I'll take your questions.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 6:22 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Shit is getting real here at T1B.

Who will you nominate to be your running mate? Dan J? Sick Fuck?

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 6:54 pm
by smackaholic
Lets have some good Melania pics.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 7:15 pm
by Donald Trump
Screw_Michigan wrote:Shit is getting real here at T1B.

Who will you nominate to be your running mate? Dan J? Sick Fuck?
I'm not familiar with those people but they sound like huge losers.

I'm not sure there's a human being on the planet worthy of being my running mate. That's why I'm working with scientists to clone another version of myself.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 8:27 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Are you building a fence on the U.S.A./Canada border too?

Can you put Manitoba on your side?

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 9:01 pm
by R-Jack
How badly did getting less votes than a foam party gaylord in Wyoming sting?

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 4:01 am
by Y2K
I'm not familiar with those people but they sound like huge losers.
The kiss of death..
one of the unwritten rules of Messageboarding

Never call out The Alliance.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 1:02 pm
by smackaholic
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Are you building a fence on the U.S.A./Canada border too?

Can you put Manitoba on your side?
They got oil, don't they?

Maybe we can work a trade, Manitoba for Michigan and a state to be named later. And yes, you have to take Detoilet.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:25 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
smackaholic wrote:


They got oil, don't they?
They've got mosquito infested bogs...

...and retards.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:28 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Our prime minister is ready to sign a new trade agreement with Trump, as long as he promises to construct a "Cone Of Stupidity" around Mikey's house.

We may not have a cure for ignorance, but we sure can contain it.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:32 pm
by Diego in Seattle
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
smackaholic wrote:


They got oil, don't they?
They've got

...and retards.
Big deal. Every province is full of retards.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 7:17 pm
by smackaholic
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
smackaholic wrote:


They got oil, don't they?
They've got mosquito infested bogs...

...and retards.
Sounds like Joisy.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 7:33 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
smackaholic wrote:
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
smackaholic wrote:


They got oil, don't they?
They've got mosquito infested bogs...

...and retards.
Sounds like Joisy.
Jersey has better pizza.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 7:45 pm
by Smackie Chan
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
smackaholic wrote:
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:They've got mosquito infested bogs...

...and retards.
Sounds like Joisy.
Jersey has better pizza.
They do a better job of training their retards.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 8:57 pm
by smackaholic
Their retards are just better organized. I'm sure you've heard of the United Brotherhood of Retards Local 10039, Paramus.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 10:23 pm
by mvscal
Horrible shit troll

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 10:35 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
I've used seen worse...

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 7:09 pm
by Donald Trump
mvscal wrote:Horrible shit troll
Listen, as soon as you cast your vote for The Donald you're dead to me. I care about the dingleberries I wipe from my ass with $100 dollar bills more than I care about you middle class losers. Just do your part to get me in office then I'll forget about you faster than I forgot about all those illegals I hired to build Trump Tower.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 8:00 pm
by Goober McTuber
Die, shit troll.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 9:50 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Goober McTuber wrote:Die, shit troll.

Ich wusste nicht , dass Sie Deutsch sprach.

:?

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 4:32 pm
by Donald Trump
Goober McTuber wrote:Die, shit troll.
It's beneath me to disrespect senior citizens, so I'm going to bite my tongue. That said, fuck Bernie Sanders.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 4:59 pm
by BSmack
Donald, what is your opinion of the reindeer?

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 6:14 pm
by Goober McTuber
BSmack wrote:Donald, what is your opinion of the reindeer?
Yeah, and which one was he? Shit trolls of a feather, and whatsuch.

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:38 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Goober McTuber wrote:
BSmack wrote:Donald, what is your opinion of the reindeer?
Yeah, and which one was he? Shit trolls of a feather, and whatsuch.

Still stinging, Methuselah?

Re: Let's just make a few things clear

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 12:47 pm
by Goober McTuber
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
BSmack wrote:Donald, what is your opinion of the reindeer?
Yeah, and which one was he? Shit trolls of a feather, and whatsuch.

Still stinging, Methuselah?
Yes, my boots took quite a beating from little reindeer butts.

Remind me again, which one were you?