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Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 9:22 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Dear Carr Guy,

I'd like to officially welcome you to the college football forum, also known as Big Time Power College FootBall, here at T1B! I know you have been posting here for a few weeks already and you seem to holding your own while kicking some ass and taking names. But I'd like to officially welcome you by giving you the inside scoop on some of the forum's most notorious and well-regarded posters:

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Killian aka Killitard

Like you, Killian doesn't root for his alma mater, likely because of his small penis and his deep seated need to over compensate for that. This is common among those who lack the integrity to root for the schools they graduated from. Killian pretends he has some deep emotional connection and spiritiual connection to ND, which in all reality, he's just a nutsack riding, front-running bitch. Pretends to be ultra-connected to the program and likes to brag about it, but really he just tells us what he reads at ND Nation.

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m2 aka 2oolio, toolio

2oolio is well known for his bitch like tendencies, his propensity to lose games he calls and his failure to pick in the weekly pick 'em games. He's also well known for blatantly ripping off takes from other forums and getting busted for them. Will reply to you at 3 am because he's too much of a bitch to take you on during normal hours. Also loves attending Ren Fares. Likely unemployed and living with his mother.

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Papa Willie aka shutyomouth, Spray

Papa Willie is part of the unholy gang here known as SEC Ball Sucking Homers. See: JSC, Carson, Slobbering Sam, etc. These guys will suck the balls of any and every SEC school as long as it suits their personal vendettas. They only hate their rivals when they play them, every other week they jump on their nuts and root them to victory! Strange, we know. They also live in backwater shanties where housing can be had for $25k. Papa Willie also has an unhealthy obsession with Rutgers, the northeast corridor and ESPN. It permeates every take he has.

Finally....

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Van aka Vannie, Vannie in New Mexico

Van is a great and prolific poster known for his love of Southern Cal. Van got sick lately so who knows if he'll be around, but he knows his shit and knows his West Coast football.

I wish you a long, uncomfortable stay here at T1B, Carr Guy. Bend over and pucker up, buttercup, because scUM is going 7-4 this year.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 1:29 pm
by WolverineSteve
Since it's roughly an 80/20 probability that he's your troll (or mgo's, I cant really tell you two apart), does posting to yourself really make sense? Is it part of your clever master plan to throw us off the scent by posting to your own troll? While we're at it, why create trolls? Sure there have been some quality ones over the years but they are more the exception than the rule. Wouldn't the time spent trolling be better used to work up a decent cfb take or run some smack?

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 1:58 pm
by R-Jack
WolverineSteve wrote:Since it's roughly an 80/20 probability that he's your troll (or mgo's, I cant really tell you two apart), does posting to yourself really make sense? Is it part of your clever master plan to throw us off the scent by posting to your own troll? While we're at it, why create trolls? Sure there have been some quality ones over the years but they are more the exception than the rule. Wouldn't the time spent trolling be better used to work up a decent cfb take or run some smack?
Shut up AP

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 5:43 pm
by King Crimson
kill the troll.

at what point is talking about "Michigan Men" in all facets of amazing life making anyone believe?

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 3:48 pm
by Carr Guy
Wow, what a welcome. Thanks bro! I pretty much wrote this place off because of all the childish attacks towards me and calling me a "troll", etc., but how can I not come back after that? Also, I got a nice little encouraging private message from a poster here telling me I should stay. I'm not going to name names, but thank you for that. Good to know there are still some adults in cyber space.

Just wanted to touch on one thing real quick. Seems i've taken a lot of crap here for the "Michigan Man" comments and I was surprised by the backlash. I want to clarify what I meant. Being a Michigan Man doesn't necessarily have anything to do with football. It's about carrying yourself with honesty, character and integrity. Anybody could be a Michigan Man. You could be a Michigan Man. It could be helping a little old lady across the road or donating to charity when you don't really have the money. Just last week my uncle was broke and asked to borrow 20 bucks from me and I gave it to him. I didn't judge or ask questions. I helped him out in a time of need. That's what a true Michigan Man does. You live your life with values and character. Anyway, I hope that explanation helps.

I was impressed with my Wolverines on Saturday. We imposed our will on an undermanned team. Gardner is going to be a stud. Better than Braxton Miller, in my humble opinion. I'm calling my shot, I'm revising my prediction from 11-1 to 12-0. With this combo of O and D, no way we lose to anybody in conference.

I'm all fired up, baby!! Time for ND next week!

GO BLUE!!!

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 3:57 pm
by King Crimson
one of the buckeyes. has to. sparty.

captain obvious sure i know.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:06 pm
by Screw_Michigan
King Crimson wrote:one of the buckeyes. has to. sparty.

captain obvious sure i know.
Lighten up, Francis. Jesus, what are you, the Atomic Panties of BTPCFB? Obsess much?

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:10 pm
by King Crimson
Screw_Michigan wrote:
King Crimson wrote:one of the buckeyes. has to. sparty.

captain obvious sure i know.
Lighten up, Francis. Jesus, what are you, the Atomic Panties of BTPCFB? Obsess much?
wha?

i think you are qualifying for atomic panties at this point. lacy ones. as usual.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 10:47 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
If Screwey can dial up a pass play of more than 5 yards, he's instantly qualified for the OC position.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:09 pm
by Terry in Crapchester
Continuing the poster primer for Carr Guy . . .

Screwy_in_DC: Like you, he graduated from one Michigan school in the MAC, yet roots for another Michigan school in the B1G. In his case, though, the schools in question are Western Michigan and Sparty.

Oh, he'll deny he's a Sparty fan until the cows come home. But every now and then, he'll inadvertently post something which shows his true colors. His obsession with Killian is directly on point in this regard. See, the school Killian graduated from is Sparty. And it's worth noting that ND is a relatively small school by FBS standards, and for that reason has fewer alumni than most BTPCF schools (about 150,000 living alumni, which, if anything, is probably a generous estimate). ND wouldn't be ND without its subway alumni, and even Screwy gets that (I think). Also, it seems to me that about half of the regular/semi-regular posters in here (educated guess) did not attend, or at least graduate from, the schools they root for, yet Screwy seems to focus his wrath exclusively on Killian (fwiw, the one poster Screwy spoke highly of -- Van -- fits into this category). And a while back, the coup-de-grace:

[quote='''Screwy"]People who graduated from Michigan State aren't allowed to root for Notre Dame.[/quote]

So it's quite clear that when it comes to Killian, Screwy's problem is not who he roots for, it's where he went to school. If Screwy really had a problem with people rooting for schools other than the ones they attended, he would have written:
People aren't allowed to root for schools they didn't attend.
Rather than
People who graduated from Michigan State aren't allowed to root for Notre Dame.
His problem with Killian, therefore, stems from the fact that, by rooting for Notre Dame, Killian, in his mind, is disrespecting his dream school. In a way, I can relate -- I used to feel that way back when I was 20 years old. I encountered a number of people at Notre Dame who were fans of schools other than Notre Dame -- used to blow my mind. In fact, one of the guys in my dorm openly pondered the possibility of rooting for North Carolina over us in the NCAA tourney my junior year, when the first two rounds were on the ND campus, and where ND and North Carolina stacked up as a potential second-round matchup. And dude was from New Jersey, not North Carolina. Fortunately, in the end he made what I considered the right choice. Of course, I'm not 20 anymore, so that wouldn't bother me today.

Oh, and one other difference between you and Screwy: he lives in DC now, and don't you forget it.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:11 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
As someone who knows Screwey personally, I can guarantee you he does not root for MSU. In fact, he often revels in their losses. The only time he "roots" for MSU is when they play UM or ND, but that's more out of pure schadenfreude than it is being pro-MSU. He doesn't like any of them, he just has a pecking order for the dislike.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 8:14 pm
by BSmack
What about this scenario? Started rooting for a DI program as a kid, got accepted by said DI program but for personal and financial purposes decided to go to a school with no DI sports.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:48 pm
by Dinsdale
How about this scenario:

Root for whoever the fuck you want. I started getting hardcore about CFB long before I was college-age, and the esteemed night school/CCs I've attended don't have any sports.

Just don't switch teams 810 times in a season. And have a team, unlike the hater who started this thread.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:40 pm
by Left Seater
I agree, root for whom ever you want, just not a new team each week.

I also have no problem when fans use the term we. They invest their time, money, and heart so why can't they say we?

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 11:32 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Dinsdale wrote:And have a team, unlike the hater who started this thread.
I have a team, just like you have three-bill heifers on the weekend.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:03 am
by War Wagon
Carr Guy wrote:You could be a Michigan Man.

Just last week my uncle was broke and asked to borrow 20 bucks from me and I gave it to him.
I'm a "Missouri Man" and if a friend asks to borrow $20, I give him $40, assuming I have it to spare.

welcome aboard champ, but don't break your arm or a finger nail telling us what a great guy you are.

Stuff like that is what you're supposed to do.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 5:01 pm
by Terry in Crapchester
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:As someone who knows Screwey personally,
No dispute there, but . . .
I can guarantee you he does not root for MSU.
How, then, to square his singling out of Killian in this regard, where, as I said, probably half of the regulars/semi-regulars on this board root for a school they didn't attend (or at least, didn't graduate from), there are far easier targets on this board in that regard, (sup, 2oodles), and I would wager that even Screwy gets that ND wouldn't be ND without its subway alumni? Sorry, I'm having a really tough time buying the idea that Screwy isn't a closet Sparty fan.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 6:17 pm
by indyfrisco
Left Seater wrote:I agree, root for whom ever you want, just not a new team each week.
How about both teams in the same game?

Sin,
JSC
8/31/2013

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:35 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Terry in Crapchester wrote:Sorry, I'm having a really tough time buying the idea that Screwy isn't a closet Sparty fan.
I know. Integrity and character are lost causes not only in college football but society in general.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 8:09 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
Terry in Crapchester wrote:Sorry, I'm having a really tough time buying the idea that Screwy isn't a closet Sparty fan.
What is your definition of a fan? If it's somebody who follows the team, makes a point to watch the games, knows the players etc., then I can guarantee you that screwy is not a fan.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:20 am
by The Seer
Amazing that someone as insignificant as screwy is getting all this pub....

:meds:

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:41 pm
by Goober McTuber
He certainly brings more entertainment to the board than you do. Sometimes, even intentionally.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:54 pm
by The Seer
My job isn't to entertain bitter, miserable old fucks. If my posting style & content doesn't happen to flip your soiled panties, feel free to resist your compulsion to always respond to them.

Other than that, fuck off you festering old cunt.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:02 pm
by Goober McTuber
The Seer wrote:My job isn't to entertain bitter, miserable old fucks. If my posting style & content doesn't happen to flip your soiled panties, feel free to resist your compulsion to always respond to them.
Your job, obviously, is not to entertain. Period.

“Always respond”? No, just when your posts seem to indicate that you feel you have some level of superiority to..well…to anyone.

Re: Welcome, Carr Guy! Here's a T1B BTPCFB Poster Primer

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:04 pm
by The Seer
Other than that, fuck off you festering old cunt.