Well, i debated for a while before i posted this...but i figured for the most part most of you guys are solid people. And maybe youd have some advice.
Cedric is going thru some tough times right now. He had aseizure on the 23rd due to his body trying to shut down on him from alcohol abuse. His father comitted suicide a couple years back (tho its still technically under investigation as to if it wasnt fould play involved). And from there..in my opinion..has led to his abuse of alchohol.
Im not one to make persona busness EVERYONES business, and im sure if MO read this in his current state he'd probably want to fist fight...but to be honest im not sure how to go aout confronting him aout this problem.
His sister called me 2 days ago basically giving up on him. He's about to be released fron St, Anthonys in OKC after a few days of basically being in restraints (his sisters words) the majority of time he spent there he spent it hallucinating and being extremely incooperative and being vulgar. Which, if you know MO he's anything but.
Ive talked with a couple other really good friends tha we share and we're not for sure if we should have an intervention or what. He was released yesterday i believe with no job and nowhere to live. He's not answering his cell..and i havent had any communication with him since a couple of days before this whole thing. I knew he drank but i just had no idea he was an alchoholic.
So, again..not trying to make personal business everyones but i really dont know how to handle the siruation.
Thanks for any serious responses.
OUMO
Moderators: 88BuckeyeGrad, Left Seater, buckeye_in_sc
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the_ouskull
- Vince's Heisman Celebration
- Posts: 2467
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 3:38 pm
- Location: Norman, OK
Re: OUMO
First of all, that show is bullshit. If you really want to reach someone, you have to get lucky as much as anything else. You have to catch them during a moment of clarity, which, it sounds, may be becoming rare. You also have to show the person that you're willing to put in the legwork if they are. (Meaning, you have to take responsibility for helping get him back up on his feet, etc... give him a place with three hots and a cot, man. One, it shows him that there are people that care about him out there still,' cause there are... War Mo! ...and two, it gives those people (i.e. - you) the opportunity to look after him personally.
I know that life can kick you in the junk sometimes, and then stand there, waiting for you to get up so it can do it again. I'd put my 2009 up against some all-time shitty years... but the true measure of a person isn't how you handle shit while it's happening; it's how you handle it after it happens, and everybody that's been patting you on the back for support goes home. He needs help with that second part, not with the first part.
That's all I've got, man. If I were closer (I'm no longer in Norman) and able (why I'm no longer in Norman) I'd lend a hand myself,' cause Ced's a really good guy, and he deserves that kind of help; not 'cause I know him really, really well or anything, but because he's a good guy, and guys like him deserve it. (I have to admit, though, I would have liked to see him cussing people out - it would have been pretty funny.) I hope that he's able to get himself back on the right track, 'cause, if not, those tracks that he's on won't lead anywhere good - for anybody.
Just remember that, in a situation like this, "tough love" won't do much good - not without a lot of the "love" part of that first. You have to give before you can take away, and right now, he's not expecting anybody, life included, to give him anything but grief. Skew those expectations, and he'll start to believe. If he acts on what he starts believing, you'll start to see more and more of Ced, and less and less of Jack Daniels.
I'd probably be pissed about a thread like this too, but that doesn't mean I think you did the wrong thing, man. Quite the opposite. Please keep me informed...
I know that life can kick you in the junk sometimes, and then stand there, waiting for you to get up so it can do it again. I'd put my 2009 up against some all-time shitty years... but the true measure of a person isn't how you handle shit while it's happening; it's how you handle it after it happens, and everybody that's been patting you on the back for support goes home. He needs help with that second part, not with the first part.
That's all I've got, man. If I were closer (I'm no longer in Norman) and able (why I'm no longer in Norman) I'd lend a hand myself,' cause Ced's a really good guy, and he deserves that kind of help; not 'cause I know him really, really well or anything, but because he's a good guy, and guys like him deserve it. (I have to admit, though, I would have liked to see him cussing people out - it would have been pretty funny.) I hope that he's able to get himself back on the right track, 'cause, if not, those tracks that he's on won't lead anywhere good - for anybody.
Just remember that, in a situation like this, "tough love" won't do much good - not without a lot of the "love" part of that first. You have to give before you can take away, and right now, he's not expecting anybody, life included, to give him anything but grief. Skew those expectations, and he'll start to believe. If he acts on what he starts believing, you'll start to see more and more of Ced, and less and less of Jack Daniels.
I'd probably be pissed about a thread like this too, but that doesn't mean I think you did the wrong thing, man. Quite the opposite. Please keep me informed...
Congrats, Wags. Good win.