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When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:50 am
by Q, West Coast Style
I say the 2010 Masters. He won't stay away long. Dude's loved two things in his life more than skanks . . . Golf and his father. And he knows Earl would want him back out there soon.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:01 am
by LTS TRN 2
You really don't get it. He's done.

Ignored like a sensuous but slutty hooker in the middle of the living room is the real matter of the fact in this case, and that's golf. And golf, regardless of the Madoffs, is based on the principle of honor. Play it where it lies. This is the essence of the country club snobbery and all of the public course aspirations to class and refinement. Golf means you don't cheat. So...this is much bigger than it appears 8)

Not a single Tiger ad has appeared on TV since 11/29. Don't expect any soon.

As for his swing coach.... :lol:

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:25 pm
by smackaholic
You bring up an interesting point, for a change, turds.

Golf does have the "honor" thingy that other sports don't even pretend to adhere to, but, despite that, he will be back.

America has a ridiculously short memory. Michael Jordan has weathered this and more.

He'll lay low for awhile, but, I think he'll be at Augusta and now he's got one more motivator to win. And I doubt he will let this distraction effect his game much.

Focus is what got him to the top. It will keep him there.

I wish what I said was not so. It wouldn't bother me a bit to see him whittle his fortune away in a non stop whoremongering daze, but, I doubt it will be the case.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:38 pm
by BSmack
LTS TRN 2 wrote:You really don't get it. He's done.

Ignored like a sensuous but slutty hooker in the middle of the living room is the real matter of the fact in this case, and that's golf. And golf, regardless of the Madoffs, is based on the principle of honor. Play it where it lies. This is the essence of the country club snobbery and all of the public course aspirations to class and refinement. Golf means you don't cheat. So...this is much bigger than it appears 8)

Not a single Tiger ad has appeared on TV since 11/29. Don't expect any soon.

As for his swing coach.... :lol:
If your argument had even the slightest bit of validity Nick Faldo wouldn't be raking in cash as a lead commentator and Fredie Couples and John Daly wouldn't be two of the most beloved figures in the game. The "no cheating" rule only applies between the ropes.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 4:51 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
Where's the who gives a fuck option?

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:53 pm
by Dinsdale
Could someone remind me again why it is I'm supposed to care what some dude I don't know does with his pecker?

TIA

Tiger Woods plays professional golf. I enjoy watching professional golf (unlike 90%+ of the people bitching about Tiger -- most of the country claims "I wouldn't watch golf if you paid me," yet are all up in arms over Tiger... get a life, douches).

He hits the ball. I watch, and am exposed to advertising by doing so. When did me and Tigers relationship go beyond that? Pretty sure none of the named women are relatives of mine, so for me to take some vested interest in his private life would be ridiculously loserish... about 9 pages worth of loserish.


Fuck, I have a hard enough time keeping track of where my own dick has been, I sure the fuck ain't speadsheeting anyone else's escapades.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 10:11 pm
by Dinsdale
Shall I point out every question you've fgailed to answer as evidence of your dumbassitude, Mace?

There's plenty of them.

Nice job KYOA, idiot. Par for the course for you (<--- golf theme... get it?).


As far as the question posed in the thread title/poll -- "when he's good and goddamned ready."

I don't give a fuck when anyone else here goes back to work, either... I've kinda been graced with a fucking life like that.

Only way it æffects me in any way, shape, or form beyond watching the occasional golf tourney on TV, is how it æffects Nike's bottom line, which has a direct æffect on my local community.

Other than that, enjoy the latest issue of National Enquirer... or wherever it is you people get your gossip from.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:41 pm
by Dinsdale
Huh?

Oh, I get it -- you're so pathetically feeble, you're confusing "IKYABWAI" with calling out someone for something that you routinely engage in.

Keep swinging and you'll eventually make contact, duffer.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:03 am
by Dinsdale
Mace wrote:How long have you lived in the KC area, dumbfuck?

Dinsdale wrote:Keep swinging and you'll eventually make contact, duffer.
Mace wrote:Keep hackin', douchebag....it's what you do best.
Dinsdale wrote:Nice job KYOA, idiot.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:20 am
by Dinsdale
Dinsdale wrote:Par for the course for you (<--- golf theme... get it?).
Dinsdale wrote:Keep swinging and you'll eventually make contact, duffer.

Mace wrote:Like I said, dumbass, keep hackin' away and don't forget to replace your divots. Don't worry about repairing your ball marks because you're never going to hit the green.
Dinsdale wrote:<--- golf theme... get it?
Mace wrote:How long have you lived in the KC area, dumbfuck?

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:36 pm
by Dinsdale
Dinsdale wrote:Keep swinging and you'll eventually make contact, duffer.
In response to the above comment, Mace oh-so cleverly wrote:Like I said, dumbass, keep hackin' away

This was, of course, after Mace wrote:How long have you lived in the KC area, dumbfuck?

What went wrong in your brain that you decided you were qualified to tell anyone else to "shut the fuck up"?

You're clowning, old man.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 10:48 pm
by LTS TRN 2
smackaholic wrote:You bring up an interesting point, for a change, turds.

Golf does have the "honor" thingy that other sports don't even pretend to adhere to, but, despite that, he will be back.

America has a ridiculously short memory. Michael Jordan has weathered this and more.

He'll lay low for awhile, but, I think he'll be at Augusta and now he's got one more motivator to win. And I doubt he will let this distraction effect his game much.

Focus is what got him to the top. It will keep him there.

I wish what I said was not so. It wouldn't bother me a bit to see him whittle his fortune away in a non stop whoremongering daze, but, I doubt it will be the case.
Well, youre starting to get it, but you've yet to see the bigger picture.

First, Jordan's gambling and whoring were nothing compared to Tiger's all-out assault on family values. And Jordan played hoops! As for Faldo, this was another relatively low key affair, not even close--and, he did in fact fade quickly from the top ranks. Daly of course has always been unique, and his faults and blue collar venality have always been accepted--and even demanded. No, Tiger's situation is so off the scale that we can't even gauge it yet. He's so completely done that not only will EVERY sponsor drop him (another today), but he'll become a freakish recluse. All sorts of factors will combine to seal his legacy--from being exceptionally cheap, to having his aggressive mom help out with the logistics of his romantic roulette. The Divorce will be a quiet colossally expensive affair, and the tabloids are permanently camped. And the concentration and focus that have guided Tiger were the first casualties, and they're not repaired so easily--if at all.

As astonishing as it may appear, he's done.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:01 am
by smackaholic
sig bet?

not saying he wil neccessarily win a major this year, but, he will compete in them and likely win something.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:09 am
by Dinsdale
LTS TRN 2 wrote:As for Faldo

That would be Sir Faldo to you, assface.

Do NOT dis my homeboy. WGC reprezentin', baby!

this was another relatively low key affair, not even close--and, he did in fact fade quickly from the top ranks.
You mean when he was staring at the wrong side of 40 and blew up his back?

His game dropped off?

This place has a Golf Forum... you know, with people who actually play and follow the game -- and the injured guys over 40 seem to share this same trait at all skill levels.


Yup, you're still an idiot.


As astonishing as it may appear, he's done.

Hungus bet?

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:46 am
by Dinsdale
Toddowen wrote:I continue to be thoroughly impressed with the game of Kenny Perry.
And I continue to be impressed with HGH -- shot rocks, apparently.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:52 am
by Dinsdale
Hey, Tiger is the one who spoke up about all the juiced-up equipment on the Tour.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:35 pm
by BSmack
Dinsdale wrote:Hey, Tiger is the one who spoke up about all the juiced-up equipment on the Tour.
He might have spoke too soon.
Dr. Lindsay said he led Mr. Woods’s rehabilitation team after the golfer’s June 2008 surgery to repair his anterior cruciate ligament. In addition to Dr. Lindsay, who is best known for overseeing Alex Rodriguez’s rehabilitation from hip surgery last spring, the Woods team included Dr. Galea and a Vermont-based strength coach named Bill Knowles.

Dr. Lindsay said he worked with Mr. Woods at his home throughout his eight-month rehabilitation. The work included strength training, conditioning and exercises in a swimming pool, Dr. Lindsay said.

In February, discouraged by the lack of progress, Dr. Lindsay asked Dr. Galea to look at Mr. Woods, who was suffering from patellar tendinitis and had scarring in the muscle. “It’s common after the A.C.L. to have tendinitis,” Dr. Lindsay said. “And the P.R.P. helped.”

Dr. Galea said he treated Mr. Woods in his home four or five times with a borrowed centrifuge from an Orlando doctor. Each time, he said he drew blood from Woods, spun it to increase the platelets’ count and then injected a small amount directly into Mr. Woods’s left knee.

Two days after the first treatment, Woods texted him, Dr. Galea said: “He said he couldn’t believe how good he feels. He’d joke and say, ‘I can jump up on the kitchen table,’ and I said, ‘Please don’t.’ ”

Dr. Galea said that Mr. Woods stayed in touch, texting him after the British Open in July that his left knee had begun bothering him again. Dr. Galea said he flew to Orlando in early August and gave Mr. Woods P.R.P. therapy for a final time.

In October, he said he heard again from Mr. Woods that his knee was still bothering him, “but all this stuff started with the investigation, and I couldn’t go see him.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/15/sport ... wanted=all

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 7:50 pm
by MuchoBulls
Screw_Michigan wrote:Anyone who thinks he won't be at the 2010 Masters is kidding themselves.
Could the stiffs at Augusta not extend him an invitation in 2010?

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:06 pm
by Q, West Coast Style
Screw_Michigan wrote:
MuchoBulls wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:Anyone who thinks he won't be at the 2010 Masters is kidding themselves.
Could the stiffs at Augusta not extend him an invitation in 2010?
Possibly, but they'd be batshit insane not to. You don't kill off your golden goose over some marital bullshit.

Besides, most of them are probablly philanderers themselves. But as Southern Blue Bloods, they're pros at keeping it on the down low, dating back to the days of slave-fuckin'. In fact, they'll probably pull him aside and whisper to him "Hey Tig' we really wish you would've come to us with this before, we have resources at our disposal that could've got you laid by much hotter women and kept you protected."

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:49 pm
by Jerkovich
Now wouldn't it be a hoot if the PGA bans him for embarrassing them? The punk is finished.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:55 pm
by ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
Jerkovich wrote:Now wouldn't it be a hoot if the PGA bans him for embarrassing them? The punk is finished.
Yeah, the sport is enjoying unseen popularity and profits ever since he turned pro and they're going to "ban" the rainmaker.

Good to see your shit takes know no bounds.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:33 pm
by LTS TRN 2
If his mistress tally tops twenty within the next week, I'll take the bet. But that's still beside the point. Tiger's prowess on the course is based on a previously unshakable focus. That's the first casualty of having everyone in the world snickering at you when just before they were gazing with quiet wonder. Consider that the TV golf analysts are already gagged from any comment on Tiger, and then consider what sort of restrictions must be placed on ...the entire gallery?..in the event that he tees it up in an event. Sure, anyone calling out anything related to his sex-farm ops will ...what..be thrown out? It's ridiculous and it's not going to happen in the first place. You see, Fred Couples or Davis Love, or even Mickelson could have an affair. So what, that's not the issue here. What Tiger had going (and presumably still wants, needs, and deserves) is a non-stop tantric bachenallia of hookers, strippers, and waitresses.

At no point, however, should we have any presumption of moral indignation at Tiger's behavior. After all, fuck the hypocritical corporate whore phonies that comprise the world of golf and all it attends. Fuck these uptight puritanical soulless assholes who act like the earth deserves golf courses! No, Tiger in fact has approached his life appropriately and with manly gusto. His tragic fault was buying into the myth that a pretty blond hottie wife and two kids somehow equals a nice trophy in his case. That is, if he had chosen the course of a similar great champion, Wilt Chamberlain, and eschewed the constraints of marriage, his career would continue to soar. It was his choice, and he fucked up. And he's done.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:35 pm
by Trampis
Dara Torres

Image

The guy who owns a yacht.

Image

Fat bicycle guy

Image

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:30 am
by BSmack
LTS TRN 2 wrote:Sure, anyone calling out anything related to his sex-farm ops will ...what..be thrown out?
There's plenty of precedent for just that. To name a few, Vijay at Colonial and Davis Love at the WGC Match Play both had hecklers tossed. I'm almost certain Norman has as well.

That being said, if Tiger is linked to PEDs in any way, the damage will rock the game to its core.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:49 am
by Van
Nick, aka TVO, wrote:bachenallia
:?

:lol:

"What is 'bacchanalia', Alex."

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 3:06 am
by War Wagon
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Where's the who gives a fuck option?
Woah... see, here's how it works. If you post in a thread you don't give a fuck about, any thread, that means you really do give a fuck, have just KYOA, and must live in KC.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 4:57 pm
by Van
Not if the only thing you post is "WGARA?" I think you rather missed the point there, Wags.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:06 pm
by Louis Cyphre
Tiger Woods will not return to golf because he is dead.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:42 pm
by Q, West Coast Style
Bump.

Re: When will Tiger Woods return to professional golf?

Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:31 pm
by mvscal
LTS TRN 2 wrote:You really don't get it. He's done.
Good job, Felchco.