Maxim's 100 hottest...

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Mon May 18, 2009 6:48 pm

100. Deanna Russo
99. Melissa Rycroft
98. Rebecca Mader
97. Marisa Tomei
96. Olivia Munn
95. Padma Lakshmi
94. Yvonne Strahovski
93. Michelle Obama
92. Joanna Krupa
91. Chelsea Handler
90. Roselyn Sanchez
89. Jamie Chung
88. Diane Kruger
87. Summer Glau
86. Ali Campoverdi
85. Michelle Trachtenberg
84. Minka Kelly
83. Whitney Port
82. Emma Watson
81. Heidi Montag
80. Jamie Gunns
79. Jaime King
78. Danica Patrick
77. Stacy Keibler
76. Cameron Richardson
75. Tricia Helfer
74. Amanda Bynes
73. Ashley Tisdale
72. Camilla Belle
71. Gabrielle Union
70. Maria Menounos
69. Jennifer Morrison
68. Ashley Greene
67. Emmy Rossum
66. Emma Stone
65. Amanda Righetti
64. Diora Baird
63. Milla Jovovich
62. Heidi Klum
61. Dania Ramirez
60. Carrie Underwood
59. Ana Ivanovic
58. Miranda Kerr
57. Audrina Patridge
56. Amber Heard
55. Christina Milian
54. Rachel Bilson
53. Kim Kardashian
52. Beyoncé
51. Sienna Miller
50. Taylor Swift
49. Freida Pinto
48. Arielle Kebbel
47. Katie Cassidy
46. Nicole Scherzinger
45. Fergie
44. Avril Lavigne
43. Elisha Cuthbert
42. Nikki Reed
41. Nadine Velazquez
40. Lily Allen
39. Anna Faris
38. Charlize Theron
37. Cameron Diaz
36. Hayden Panettiere
35. Anna Kournikova
34. Scarlett Johansson
33. Blake Lively
32. Ciara
31. Hilary Duff
30. Penélope Cruz
29. Zoe Saldana
28. Danneel Harris
27. Vanessa Hudgens
26. Angelina Jolie
25. Julianne Hough
24. Eva Mendes
23. Lindsay Lohan
22. Kate Beckinsale
21. AnnaLynne McCord
20. Moon Bloodgood
19. Chan Marshall
18. Marisa Miller
17. Britney Spears
16. Gina Carano
15. Katy Perry
14. Christina Aguilera
13. Jessica Alba
12. Leighton Meester
11. Jessica Biel
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt
9. Jordana Brewster
8. Rhianna
7. Adriana Lima
6. Eliza Dushku
5. Mila Kunis
4 .Malin Akerman
3. Bar Refaeli
2. Megan Fox
1. Jessica Biel

anyone else think

looks like

the fuck that bitch doing in this list? Tim Curry, take off the black woman mask.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon May 18, 2009 7:26 pm

Biel's so hot, she's on there twice. Ivanovic underrated. Van's favorite whore checks in at 53. How the hell does Hayak not make the list?

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon May 18, 2009 7:43 pm

S_M. oh hell no, KK isn't even in my Top 100. I'm just saying you'd do her, in a heartbeat.

I'm pretty good with the top two there, actually, even despite Fox's copious tats.

In reality, though, there are countless sluts who blow the doors off of most of the women listed there. Some of those listed, fuck, they shouldn't even make Jess's Hot 100.

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Mon May 18, 2009 7:44 pm

Where's Laurie Dhue?

go fuck yourself.

pron · Post by **pron** » Mon May 18, 2009 10:16 pm

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon May 18, 2009 11:51 pm

Michelle Obama comes in a few slots higher than Marissa Tomei?

Yeah, sure.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Tue May 19, 2009 1:46 am

smackaholic wrote:Michelle Obama comes in a few slots higher than Marissa Tomei?

Yeah, sure.

When did Maxim start subcontracting to ACORN?

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 19, 2009 1:56 am

There is no more appalling proof of the disgusting pervasiveness of the Political Correctness that has infested our society than including someone as fugly as Michelle Obama on Maxim's Hot 100.

Sheer pandering. Sickening.

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Tue May 19, 2009 2:10 am

I gotta say I like #21...

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Tue May 19, 2009 2:14 am

Van wrote:There is no more appalling proof of the disgusting pervasiveness of the Political Correctness that has infested our society than including someone as fugly as Michelle Obama on Maxim's Hot 100.

Sheer pandering. Sickening.

To be honest, it they had Sarah Palin on this list I would have found it idiotic. But Mike Obama?

Someone get that freak a paper bag.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Tue May 19, 2009 2:15 am

Diogenes wrote:I gotta say I like #21...

She is hot, but that pic makes her look like something out the latest Old Navy TV spots.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue May 19, 2009 2:25 am

Van wrote:S_M. oh hell no, KK isn't even in my Top 100. I'm just saying you'd do her, in a heartbeat.

Nah. I'd prefer to prevent my dick from falling off, even after double wrapping. USC players are notorious STD carriers, and are known not to be cool with the whole condom thing. That bitch probably has new viruses that haven't even been discovered yet festering in her bloodstream.

Ask IndyFelcho, gonorrhea sucks.

MadRussian · Post by **MadRussian** » Tue May 19, 2009 2:25 am

I dont find her sexy in the least bit

Jerkovich · Post by **Jerkovich** » Tue May 19, 2009 10:14 am

This list is 'suspect'. :wink:

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Tue May 19, 2009 12:27 pm

So the ones less atractive than the wildebeast currently roaming the Rose Garden...

100. deanna russo Who?

99. Melissa Rycroft What?

98. Rebecca Mader I like Lost. But not that much.

97. Marisa Tomei Okay, this is just getting silly.

96. Olivia Munn Back to-Who?

95. Padma Lakshmi Okay, this one I get...

94. Yvonne Strahovski Acceptable. Kind of a Sophia Myles wannabe, but acceptable.

And then ACORN takes over.

Dan Vogel · Post by **Dan Vogel** » Tue May 19, 2009 1:46 pm

It's pretty much in bad taste anyway to place the first lady on a hottest women list. She's married for #1 and #2 she's supposed to be in a position of honor in our country. At least it used to be that way before vulagrities and the lowest common denominater took over. To her credit she carries herself with class and dignity. Nice woman.

DELSDAD · Post by **DELSDAD** » Tue May 19, 2009 2:01 pm

I thought Olivia Wilde was #1.

Katy Perry being ahead of Marisa Miller is a damn shame.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 19, 2009 7:28 pm

Dan, why on earth would being married preclude a woman from being hot?? Also, why would being labeled "hot," which is a compliment, be a dishonor?

Are you fucking retarded, or just fucking a retard?

mvscal, your thoughts?

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 19, 2009 7:49 pm

Gorillas, dwarves, whatever.

-Moorese.

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Tue May 19, 2009 8:26 pm

mvscal wrote:
You can't ever lose sight of the fact that she is a wild animal, though. You never know when she might fly into some sort of violent frenzy and start tearing people's arms out of their sockets and then climb to the top of the Washington Monument and start flinging feces at the gathering crowd.

i hear she likes golden showers?

Python · Post by **Python** » Tue May 19, 2009 9:45 pm

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Tue May 19, 2009 9:57 pm

mvscal wrote: I've never seen such a well trained gorilla. It's eerie. You really can see how closely related they are to humans. It's really cute the way they dress her up in clothes like a person, too. I heard it cost them something like $500 for a pair of sneakers that would fit her gorilla feet.

You can't ever lose sight of the fact that she is a wild animal, though. You never know when she might fly into some sort of violent frenzy and start tearing people's arms out of their sockets and then climb to the top of the Washington Monument and start flinging feces at the gathering crowd.

mvscal is $$$ ALWAYS.

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Tue May 19, 2009 10:01 pm

5. Mila Kunis

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed May 20, 2009 1:45 am

I oughtta be arrested for what I'm thinking I want to do to Mila Kunis...

Jobocky · Post by **Jobocky** » Wed May 20, 2009 2:04 am

Am I missing something?

Katy · Post by **Katy** » Wed May 20, 2009 2:06 am

1 & 11 are both Jessica Biel?

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Wed May 20, 2009 8:09 am

Katy wrote:1 & 11 are both Jessica Biel?

Nope.

#1 - Olivia Wilde
#2 - Megan Fox
#3 - Bar Refaeli
#4 - Malin Akerman
#5 - Mila Kunis
#6 - Eliza Dushku
#7 - Adriana Lima
#8 - Rihanna
#9 - Jordana Brewster
#10 - Jennifer Love Hewitt

http://www.shan.biz/entertainment/maxim ... women-2009

Terry in Crapchester · Wed May 20, 2009 9:39 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:How the hell does Hayak not make the list?

'Swhat I'm thinking. My first thought was ageism, but then again, there are a few (not many, but a few) on that list who are older than she is.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed May 20, 2009 2:00 pm

To quote Dins...

Mila Kunis is so hot I'd lick her butthole in front of my parents.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed May 20, 2009 4:55 pm

That will never stop being the definitive definition of "hot."

Didn't he put it a little bit more graphically than that, though?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed May 20, 2009 5:06 pm

No, pretty sure that was an exact quote.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed May 20, 2009 6:23 pm

I should know, too, since I carried it as my sig for awhile.

I thought he said something about "eating her asshole," or maybe even something more graphic, along the lines of what he ate from her asshole, but nevermind. No matter. It's the inclusion of his parents watching that makes the quote.

King Crimson · Post by **King Crimson** » Wed May 20, 2009 7:05 pm

Heidi Klum is what, 75?

Diogenes · Post by **Diogenes** » Wed May 20, 2009 7:12 pm

King Crimson wrote:Heidi Klum is what, 75?

Try 35. 36 in June.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Wed May 20, 2009 8:11 pm

Katy wrote:
mvscal wrote: I've never seen such a well trained gorilla. It's eerie. You really can see how closely related they are to humans. It's really cute the way they dress her up in clothes like a person, too. I heard it cost them something like $500 for a pair of sneakers that would fit her gorilla feet.

You can't ever lose sight of the fact that she is a wild animal, though. You never know when she might fly into some sort of violent frenzy and start tearing people's arms out of their sockets and then climb to the top of the Washington Monument and start flinging feces at the gathering crowd.

mvscal is $$$ ALWAYS.

I was wondering why all the usual suspects were eating your dingelberries and calling them cereal in the KN thread. You're one of them. You're a vapid racist fuckstick. Congrats I guess.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Wed May 20, 2009 8:33 pm

Van wrote:I oughtta be arrested for what I'm thinking I want to do to Mila Kunis...

Ponderous.
She is of age so 288 (child molest) is out.
I guess you could pimp her out, but not sure why you would type it that way if you were just going to be making money off of her.
The Mann act is still on the books but that has the same problems as pimping her out.
You could smear peanut butter on her tits and lick it off, but that is not illegal.
Porn? Nope that's legal.
Anal sex? Repealed decades ago.
Blowjob? supra-(anal sex)
Sex in a car in a public place? It's an indecent exposer violation, but it still doesn't fit with the "oughtta be" part of the post.
Sex in an elevator? supra-(sex in a car in a public place)

The only things left are rape and sexual battery.
Van, you are one sick puppy.

titlover · Post by **titlover** » Wed May 20, 2009 11:56 pm

Moving Sale wrote:
Van wrote:I oughtta be arrested for what I'm thinking I want to do to Mila Kunis...
Ponderous.
She is of age so 288 (child molest) is out.
I guess you could pimp her out, but not sure why you would type it that way if you were just going to be making money off of her.
The Mann act is still on the books but that has the same problems as pimping her out.
You could smear peanut butter on her tits and lick it off, but that is not illegal.
Porn? Nope that's legal.
Anal sex? Repealed decades ago.
Blowjob? supra-(anal sex)
Sex in a car in a public place? It's an indecent exposer violation, but it still doesn't fit with the "oughtta be" part of the post.
Sex in an elevator? supra-(sex in a car in a public place)

The only things left are rape and sexual battery.
Van, you are one sick puppy.

it's funny to see you talk about women like you actually are attracted to them.

Terry in Crapchester · Thu May 21, 2009 1:47 pm

Van wrote:That will never stop being the definitive definition of "hot."

Conversely, couldn't we say that the definitive definition of "unattractive" or "skanky" is "I wouldn't fuck her with Dins' dick"?

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun May 24, 2009 5:36 pm

titlover wrote:it's funny to see you talk about women like you actually are attracted to them.

Your whole persona is chick chasing/posting and yet you think it is smart to post ^^this^^?

Methinks you doth protest too much.

missjo · Post by **missjo** » Tue May 26, 2009 10:31 am