A time of RECKONING has come for The Crew.

[PSUFAN]

Change has come. HOPE has been kept alive. Face it, DOUCHEBAG - you backed the losing side - like venereal warts back every thrust you guys greedily take into your sausage tunnels.

There's no place for you VERMIN in the New America. I'm going to seek you out and power-staple your epiglottises together and pull them tight like washboard strings and plunk out a merry tune of HOPE and RENEWAL.

I'll be hunting you down, you ASS FUNNEL SCRUBBERS. I have a break in mid-March...I heard you'll be in the Bay Area, so guess what - I'm coming to YOU for a Final Beatdown. I'm gonna ask R-Jack to release doves after your corpses are gathered and BURNED.

Thanks to the hard work of Agent Petrus, you've each been fitted with a colonic homing device - that's RIGHT! He placed it with the tip of his cock. He didn't enjoy a minute of the ass-tapping, but he knew that was the fail-safe way to place the devices. Each subsequent ass-railing you've undergone - pretty much hourly, in many cases - has TAMPED THE DEVICE DOWN more snugly.

Look, we know where you are, and where you're GOING. Fear this. I'm gonna scalp you with a spork, make slippers out of your greasy hairpelts, and remove your skimpy grapesacks and inflate with helium and fly the FUCK back to Grand Old PennsylTUCKy for a luxurious victory coronation.

Get ready, ASSCRACKSLATHERERS. You've got less than two months to fucking LIVE.

YES WE FUCKING CAN

[Screw_Michigan]

I'm coming to YOU for a Final Beatdown.

Will it be as RUTHLESS as it is final?

[smackaholic]

PUS,

Do with them what you will, but, don't kill them please. I've already bought one way tickets on luckystar bus. And I did it through priceline, so there's no refund.

I'll even hand deliver their mutilated corpses to PA. I'll even go halfs with you on the taxidermist bill incase you wanna keep one for the trophy room.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Bwahahaha!!! Rack the PennsylTuckian. The Douchecrew is going to DIE - DIE - DIE!! Keep in mind PSUFAN, I have a lovely stretch of saguaros layed out in chorusline fashion for the crucification of their decomposing, Hispanic and Namibian jizz-riddled corpses. It'll be just like the ending scene in "Life of Brian", only Douchebag and company won't be looking on any bright side.

Pray for a quick ending Douchfag. PSUFAN is going to burn down your fruity mission.

[PSUFAN]

smackaholic, I dunno, man. I'm literally drooling as I think of ways to defame their persons. Right now, I'm favoring the PullPunch - where I HAMMER their faces with my fists, and then clench my fingers and REND flesh as I draw back for another go. Early in the process, I'll unholster my meat tenderizer and POUND their little junks into Douchebag Carpacchio. Then, I'll straighten out coathangers, punch them through their navels, and push the ends out through their shredded crotches, thereby fashioning safety pins to clip onto my fender. I'll haul ass down to the Golden Gate State Park and then commence the real work-over.

If they still live after that, then you can have a shot at 'em. I have my ticket and everything.

[Stevo]

The red states have suffered a tragic loss. This COUNTRY has suffered a tragic loss. Everything America stood for has been thrown against a wall of jagged rock and pussyfucked by a vagina full of rusty daggers. The Crew has been drained physically, emotionally, and financially. We poured everything we had - blood, sweat, tears, Schwan's profts - all into this campaign. All of my close connections that GUARANTEED victory have failed us. Their lives and efforts once stood for something of great integrity and American value. Now their lives are nothing but a mere afterthought, as their flesh rots and spoils at the bottom of hot, stinking swamp water.

Douchebag is in an incapacitated state. The loss of this election has summoned emotions and involuntary physical reactions that have never been discovered or studied from human beings. His deep, raw, pure, genuine disgust for you people has reached a level so intense that his organs are in jeopardy of shutting down. Essentially he is so fucking PISSED that he is on the verge of total death.

He lies awake at night grinding his teeth due to the gut clenching agony he feels. His teeth are reduced to sharp little fragments, like a piranha. He punches drywall for hours on end and his hands are a constant reminder of that. It's like he's laid out his knuckles for vultures to dine on during the day. It's nothing but flesh and bone exposed, with fresh blood geysering the cracks of old wounds. He no longer has use for toilets or showers. He pisses and shits himself because he feels trips to the rest room sidetrack his careful focus on HATING you people. He feels that locking himself in his 200 square foot window-less concrete dungeon builds emotional toughness, as well as an impenetrable bacterial and feces laced outer skin layer.

Douchebag wants no distractions. He has sworn off Bud 40s, Castlevania, and hot sluts. He slams his dick against the cold, hard concrete he sleeps on whenever he feels a stiffy coming on. He cannot risk the torments and preoccupation that come with sexual urges because he MUST...stay...FOCUSED. He hasn't had sex in months, and hasn't had involuntary ass sex in weeks.

Douchebag cries. He cries a lot. He stares longingly at pictures of Slim, Dice, and Steiner, and belts out "WHYYYYYYYY??? WHY GODDAMNIT?" throughout the early hours of the morning and well into the afternoon. This sadness however is associated with an anger. This anger was harbored deep, down, down in the inner depths of DB's soul. But recently it's been surfacing...it's coming to fruition and is turning DBag into the man he is today: A sick, sadistic, mentally insane merciless killing machine. This anger is the next undiscovered form of genocide.

And quite frankly, the rest of us are on board - Rollins, A-Bomb, and myself. Though Douchebag cannot post at the moment, he did want me to relay this message to all of you:

I WILL REGAIN MY STRENGTH AND I WILL BE BACK. IT'S COMING, FUCKNOTS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. THE APOCOLYPSE IS FUCKING COMING AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SMASH YOUR BRAIN THROUGH YOUR ASSHOLE.

[smackaholic]

stevo, I think I'm gonna kill you first.

[RadioFan]

Schwan's profts