Order...ORDER IN THE COURT!

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:56 pm

As all of you know, there are two key rules here that are strictly enforced:

#1 Posting personal info
#2 Posting kiddie porn

If you're in violation of either rule, a perma-ban is likely imminent.

The powers that be have discussed earnestly a third rule which will take effect...immediately:

#3 Do not suck

There are varying degrees of sucktitude, no doubt. What we're asking...no, what we're DEMANDING, is that you don't suck on a monolithic level - a level of suck that is so severe that a BANNING is the only solution to end your onslaught of completely unreadable, uninspired suck. The ban itself will unlikely be permanent, however, the length of the ban will also depend on the severity of sucktasticness. If you want to think of it more as a "time out" than a ban, fine.

That being said, don't rule out the possibility that you could be banned...FOR LIFE. For sucking. So fucking badly.

Further details will soon follow. Just stay on your toes...and your game.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:58 pm

This is just too much pressure for me to handle at this point in my life.

I quit.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:13 pm

Well dammit, there goes Cooter.

One less Dubya-jizz drooling punching bag.

Fuck.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:14 pm

So LogInFag has been given the boot again, huh?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:16 pm

R-Jack wrote:What about when their sucking becomes a catalyst for massive and entertaining pile ons?

They get banned after the pile-on thread is archived.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:21 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

As all of you know, there are two key rules here that are strictly enforced:

#1 Posting personal info
#2 Posting kiddie porn

If you're in violation of either rule, a perma-ban is likely imminent.

What about posting personal kiddie porn?

Sincerely,

Tardowen

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:23 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:What about posting personal kiddie porn?

Double lifetime bans, to be served consecutively.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:24 pm

Excellent question, R-Jack. But not to worry...we've assembled a juggernaut team of legendary message boarders with seasoned perceptive skills to survey and evaluate the sucking offenders. Nothing will be done to devalue this place. In fact, this new rule is designed to do just the opposite.

That is all for now. Stay tuned.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:42 pm

This is certainly welcome, if not overdue.

Should we be really expected to provide a place on the internet where an anonymous person can freely register and refine their lace-trimmed degeneracy, or plumb the depths of humanity's ability to be unwise, or simply shock and awe all manner of onlookers into speechless incredulity with their abysmal stupidity?

I'm leaning towards no, now.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:53 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Should we be really expected to provide a place on the internet where an anonymous person can freely register and refine their lace-trimmed degeneracy, or plumb the depths of humanity's ability to be unwise, or simply shock and awe all manner of onlookers into speechless incredulity with their abysmal stupidity?

Of course not. They should be charged $4.39.

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:00 pm

who gives a fuck?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:01 pm

There is always a...cost.

--Dan Vogel

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:02 pm

Sirfindafold wrote:

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:12 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
Sirfindafold wrote:

That looks like James Thompson's ear before imbo blew it up

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:28 pm

Sirfindafold wrote:

RACK Sirgulpaload for “manning up”.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:43 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:But not to worry...we've assembled a juggernaut team of legendary message boarders with seasoned perceptive skills to survey and evaluate the sucking offenders.

One of our non-admin sucktitude judges did not get the permissions to The Suck Police secret forum. Check yer PMs and get on it.

And no, we won't be publishing The Suck Police roster so some of you pansies can kiss their ass to avoid The Suck Ban.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:44 pm

Here's the deal. Either later on this evening or tomorrow, the first set of Suck Standings will be released. These standings will display a group of posters with a "batting average" attached to their name. It's pretty simple - you hit below the .200 mark, and you'll be sent down to the minors. Batting averages will be determined by a collection of individuals we feel are capable judges of suckosity.

Now, at any point, an edit can be made to raise or lower your batting average points. In addition, an edit can be made to include an offending poster into the standings. Somebody may feel the urge to log in and pound consecutive line drives right to the pitcher's glove. In this instance, you can and will be immediately included in the cut-down list. You can also be completely removed from the list by adding to your game.

You won't be given any advice on how to avoid that bus trip to Toledo. If you can't figure out how to improve your game, then chances are you're not cut out for the bigs. Some subtle tips may be dropped here and there, but for the most part, it's all on you to bring it.

Merry message boarding, everyone.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:48 pm

Could we maybe couch this in football terminology instead?
Baseball's just kind of depressing this year. Those with suckage could be fined by the league 'judges' for late hits, personal suckage fouls etc......

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:52 pm

Loganfan wrote:Could we maybe couch this in football terminology instead?
Baseball's just kind of depressing this year. Those with suckage could be fined by the league 'judges' for late hits, personal suckage fouls etc......

San Diego does not have a minor leage team. Just stick to the program, skippy. Bitching about the new policy? Strike one.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:55 pm

Could we maybe couch this in football terminology instead?

Logon, for you, it's the final minute of the game - your down and distance? 4th and 38...and the play clock just started ticking.

Better huddle up at .net and call something BIG.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:30 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:It's pretty simple - you hit below the .200 mark...

Maybe you should call this "the Logon Line".

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:33 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
Could we maybe couch this in football terminology instead?
Logon, for you, it's the final minute of the game - your down and distance? 4th and 38...and the play clock just started ticking.

Better huddle up at .net and call something BIG.

Oh yeah......like the guys at .net could help with something like this.......Doug would have me checking with my pit crew for advice, Bill would tell me to try a corner kick, MV would be scouring Google for one of the Sooners' old stacked backfield runs, Spray would tell me to spring the dog killer and let him scamper and SG would be insisting that if we were the 2000 Rams playing on turf we wouldn't have this far to go to begin with......
I'm looking at an end around, linemen pulling off guard and leading the surge, and then a flip back to my 300 lb TE that we only use for blocking normally.....he should be able to knock the DB's out of his way to get the 1st. If that doesn't fuck the defense up enough for me to get 40 yards I call a time out and immediately fire my special teams coach that I hired in the offseason to be a scapegoat if need be.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:33 pm

Mikey wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:It's pretty simple - you hit below the .200 mark...

Maybe you should call this "the Logon Line".

He'd have to reach it first, dontcha think?

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:38 pm

I really only post here to see Smackie's replies cutting me up like a turkey set down in front Rosanne

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:42 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
The powers that be have discussed earnestly a third rule which will take effect...immediately:

#3 Do not suck

There's only ONE board on the whole interwebs where the posters do not suck- not even a smidgen. You don't post there.

In fact, only a select few from this board CAN post there: [###URL NOT PERMITTED###]

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:42 pm

Loganfan wrote:I really only post here to see Smackie's replies cutting me up like a turkey set down in front Rosanne

OK, I'll stop, then. I don't wanna be proxy banned.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:54 pm

the posters do not suck- not even a smidgen

Obviously they've denied you the URL. Rack'em.

But are you sure that's a message board you're lauding about, and not a wetdream where you're reciting Dennard quotes while bobbing for Biggie ballsack?

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:58 pm

dennard is on summer hiatus. taryn is the summer replacement, imo

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:03 pm

Fascinating that cuda doesn't deny the whole ballsack bobbing thingie.

Case - fucking - closed.

Cicatrix · Post by **Cicatrix** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:06 pm

I'll start posting more pron right away sirs!

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:42 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Fascinating that cuda doesn't deny the whole ballsack bobbing thingie.

Case - fucking - closed.

At least he's not AP.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:06 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Fascinating that cuda doesn't deny the whole ballsack bobbing thingie.

Case - fucking - closed.

Damn near impossible for him to do so. He gargles chestnuts every time Biggie drops a post here.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:50 pm

Papa Willie wrote:Isn't Fag7 where the really "serious" posters go now?

How's that obsession thing going, fatboy? I'd think you'd move on by now.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:24 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:Isn't Fag7 where the really "serious" posters go now?
How's that obsession thing going, fatboy? I'd think you'd move on by now.

Inertia makes that a difficult process to initiate.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:33 pm

You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order!

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:23 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: The powers that be have discussed earnestly a third rule which will take effect...immediately

Which can only lead a rational mind to conclude that "The powers that be" are a bunch of moronic ingrates who need to take a long look in their own jizz stained mirror.

Jeebus, you even stickied this pathetic thread. I'm not much interested in seeing you bitches grade mine or anyone else's papers.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:00 am

I don't have much power but I can hit to all fields and make an occasional play as a first baseman.

Basically, I'm the Dave Magadan of T1b. No team wants me, but they need a left-handed hitting utility infielder.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:23 am

Actually, Rumps... you're more the Ross Gload type.

Unless you can switch hit.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:57 am

Papa Willie wrote:you'd expect this type thread over at Mag7 - just not really here....

Mag7 is not predicated on singling out people. That board is all about one liners not really directed at any one member.

I think it's time you leaned on a globe, Clouseau.

Ang · Post by **Ang** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:35 am

Banning stupid people reeks of not being able to defeat them in real ways. Oh, I can just hear the antelopes on the savannah...damn, you see that one limping along, that one with a hoof disease is slowing us down on the edge of the pack...where are the lions? Oh, no lions around, where the hell are they? Ok, we have to do something, so let's do a ban...that's the ticket!

When survival of the fittest works, there are no needs for bans and manufactured rules. Yeah right, and if everyone had jobs there wouldn't be a need for welfare. Banning on the board seems like welfare because if everyone took care of this board (and I admit that I don't), banning would not be needed.

Go ahead and give it a try. Why not? The board is already limping along with a hoof disease. I'm just kind of skeptical because I saw a board limit the members and eventually everyone turned on each other when there were no longer any stupid people around to beat on :).