Story Time: the last fat chick you banged

Jimmy Medalions · Post by **Jimmy Medalions** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 2:34 am

Bring it

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 2:36 am

My wifde.

sin,

bbqjones

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 2:38 am

Never.

Never that drunk

Filthy McNastie · Post by **Filthy McNastie** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:13 am

Believe this or don't...

When we were on the road back in the band days we used to get a ton of primo pussy, sometimes though the town you were in just didn't have a fair selection of trim...

Soooooooooo...

That's when we used to play a little game called "King Of The Hog-Fuckers".

The idea was...you had to pick out either the palest, splotchiest, fattest hog in the bar...or...the skeeziest, skankiest, tatted up crankster ho you could find...take em' home...and fuck em'...then bring back some kind of proof of said fuck...(usually just ducking out the back with one of the local Guernsey heifers in tow was good enough proof)

Well...I'm proud to say...I took the title a few times...however...Tuscon Arizona towards the end of one of our little midwest tours got me the all time title.

I went home with not one...but TWO giant bitches!

They were both freaking huge...now...this started off fairly innocent at first...I wasn't going for the title...i was going to hork down some Cola that hog # 1 had promised me at the bar...and hog # 2 just happened to tag along.

We got over to their apartment...got nice and comfy...threw down on some lines..basically just kicked it...the cola started making me horny...I knew I wasn't going to go anywhere else to get some pussy...didn't want to bail on the Candygal/hog # 1...

So...about 3 in the morning...i just came right out and asked them both if they had ever been with one guy at the same time...they said they hadn't...next thing I knew the fat one was kissing me...and the real fat one was sucking my dick.

So...not only did i fuckem' both...I FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF BOTH OF EM'...pretty much all night and into the next day...I porno star fucked em'!

You've never seen 2 chicks together until you've seen 2 chicks together with the combined weight of a midsized automobile...hell...one of them laid back and dumped a pile of coke out on her gigantic titty and I snorted it off...HEAVY DUTY DECADENCE!

Anyway...that was one trippy assed night/day...and...it was pretty much the end of KOTHF as it would have never been topped.

So even now 20 years later...I've fucked a couple of Models, an olympic hopeful figure skater, a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (I don't even care if you don't believe me on that one), a bitch that posed in an Easy Rider bike shoot, a gaggle of just altogether good lookin' honeys...my OL who is fine as hell!

Even after all of that...I am...and will always be...the all time, undisputed...

KING OF THE HOG FUCKERS!

L8.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:17 am

I love you, Filthy!
You're gnarly & gnasty!

Hapday · Post by **Hapday** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:58 am

You want a story about me nailing a fat...CHICK? Eeeeerrrrr...ahhhhh....EJECT!!!

Sincerely,

BMonica
Mikey
Martyred
Felix

d-townmike · Post by **d-townmike** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 4:12 am

yes, I did one time.

At the time, I ran a delivery route with DHL, then Airborne Express. I had a weekly stop at a small warehouse and the chunky chick always signed for the envelope. I never had a thing for her then and never intended to do anything with her.

That was until one night I was horribly drunk at a suburban nightclub, just a few blocks from my former apartment, and I ran into her (she was drunk too). We start talking for a bit, just small talk, and then grabs my hand, said "I'm not wearing any underwear" and proceeds to push my hand down her pants so she can prove it. She then says she's wearing no bra and proves it. Me being my drunken self, I all of a sudden think she's the hottest girl in the bar and we start dancing, flirting, etc.

A buddy of mine is also there and he has no luck in pulling me away as he wasn't as drunk as I was, but still had quite a few. 1:30am last call comes around and she offers us a ride back to my place, despite being drunk, and then my buddy calls a cab and goes back to his place 20 miles away. So I'm left with her and we're two drunk people who were just feeling each other up at a bar. Things started happening after that.

About 5 hours later, I wake up and actually kinda freak out because I had no idea how this chick from my delivery route ended up naked in my bed! And all I'm thinking is "of all the hot chicks on my route that I really want naked in my bed, why does this fatty have to be the one?"

Needless to say it was a bit awkward with the delivery from that point on, but eventually it became a good laugh.

Joey Moss · Post by **Joey Moss** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:17 am

I was at an inter-university geology conference in Brandon, Manitoba. I was locked out of my hotel room because the guy I was sharing the room with was getting it on with his future wife (not that he knew it at the time). I was just a drunken undergrad, trying to pass out in the hallway, when all of a sudden one of the Grad students who (I'd never actually met before) grabs me, says "I got two girls and I need some back up". Stunned, I stumbled to the parking lot where these two local hotties are waiting for us. We jump a taxi, and make small talk to on the way to their house.

The girls get out of the cab and go up to unlock the front door. While were paying for the cab the grad student leans into me and whispers. "I got these girls, so you have to take the fat one." I agree, look up at the hotties on the front step and then all of a sudden the beer goggles lift and reality hits... I have no fucking clue which one of these swamp donkies he's refering to.

We enter the house, and go down stairs to watch a movie. To this day, I still can't watch A River Runs Through It. Anyway, the grad student AI'm with and his "skinny one" are making out on the couch next to us, and I am staring at the tv trying to avoid all eye-contact with the gorgon sitting next to me on the couch. (have you ever tried sitting next to a fat chick on a soft couch? The ass well that she created was so deep, that my abs were burning trying to fight it was lean the other way)

Just as things are about to progress to the next level, girl stops buddy's advances, and says " I can't do this, I have a boyfriend!" The grad student looks at her says, "that's ok, call him up, I'm into that shit". Needless to say, we got kicked out and I never been happier, to be standing in -30 C freezing my ass off.

As for screwing fat chicks, yeah that's happened too, but I've try to remeber the good choices.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:22 am

Rack. Filthy. Out.

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 6:24 am

I'm not saying I haven't been there with a chubby one, but I can at least say that I don't remember the details of any of them. That shit only happened after MANY drinks. Had no problems with "spreading the love" but it wouldn't ever happen on a day that I would actually might recall it the next.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:23 pm

Never have for two reasons. One, no matter how drunk I get, no way a fat hog gets me aroused. Two, I have too much self respect.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:30 pm

Jimmy Medalions wrote:Story Time: the last fat chick you banged

paging Mr. KUTTER

Mr. KUTTER would you please pick up the white courtesy phone....

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:11 pm

If anyone beside Filthy had written that, I'd call bullshit all day long. As it stands, I'd bet my house that it happened as he says!

Rack the KOTHF!

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:24 pm

88 wrote:I nailed her on the couch, without removing the dip, occasionally spitting into an empty beer can as I worked up my nut.

Beautiful.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:37 pm

I’m not fessin’ up till the guy who started this thread tells his story. And I don’t want to hear any rehashed Skilla episodes, either.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:50 pm

88 wrote:She came out of the bathroom bare ass naked and just stood there, jiggling in the candlelight.

The next morning, my roommate came home unexpectedly from his girlfriend's house and woke me up with laughter. I shut the bedroom door and proceeded to nail that plumper again. Twice. She showered again, went downstairs to the kitchen and ate most of my food.

Amazing.

Rack 88.

Fat Bones · Post by **Fat Bones** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 6:58 pm

"A stiff prick has no conscience", I've nailed more than a handful of fatchicks and loved everyone until I was satisfied.

Women are likes eggs for breakfast, I just like 'em. Scrambled, fried, boiled, overeasy, overhard, if they're runny, you use toast to clean it up, and eat that too.

Sometimes nothing beats a great big ol' cheese omelette covered in chili.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 8:47 pm

you naughty--naughty boys !!

(-:

I'm not talking !!

(really chuckling now)

Cicatrix · Post by **Cicatrix** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 9:20 pm

Filthy McNastie wrote:...next thing I knew the fat one was kissing me...and the real fat one was sucking my dick.

Nails. Fuckin' NAILS!

RACK! Filthy.

PS---warm up the archives for a new arrival.

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 9:44 pm

my wife last thrusday

only because we;'re trying to get pregnant and her titties looked sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

moooooo

Prototype · Post by **Prototype** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 9:49 pm

RACK Filthy
RACK 88

KUTTER · Post by **KUTTER** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 9:52 pm

Rolled by fatties. You know how it ends.

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:15 pm

R.A.C.K. fucking Filthy and 88.

Epic, epic reads there.

Are-Kyve this beauty.

Degenerate · Post by **Degenerate** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:16 pm

Raydah James wrote:
Are-Kyve this beauty.

Not before Moorese checks in.

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:17 pm

Degenerate wrote:
Raydah James wrote:
Are-Kyve this beauty.
Not before Moorese checks in.

I second that motion.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:27 pm

I three the sandbox.

Jimmy Medalions · Post by **Jimmy Medalions** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:43 pm

Sorry fellas, finally had a few minutes to get this down.

It was the fall of 1992, my third year of college, when I made my worst and final transgression. I’d moved into the fraternity house that year for the first time, where bong hits, copenhagen lippers and booze were a daily ritual.

It was a Thursday night. I was out with some friends at a shithole bar on Figueroa called The 901 Club, or 9-0 for short. You’ve seen the place…black concrete floor, drain in the center, steel beams holding up the roof, red vinyl booths…faint smell of vomit. Good times.

We roll in around 9:00 pm after several hours of pre-party back at the fort. It’s crowded, and there are hotties all over the place. Little did I know what a complete failure I’d be later that night.

A buddy of mine spots a good looking piece of trim, and we then notice she’s got the fat friend. My buddy wants to make a deposit on the hottie, and drags me over with him. In one power move, I’ve been demoted to wingman…but it’s all good because I figure I’ll just peel off after the guy gets his ass on with her. Been there, done that. He’ll have my back some other time.

Jagermeister happens to be doing a promotion that night, so it’s one shot after the next, for a good hour while my buddy is working it. All the while, this pitiful fat friend continues to jibber jabber to me about this and that, which I half tune out while nodding yes over and over, pretending to pay attention. Turns out she was from Ohio

and in town to visit her hottie friend.

Let me just be honest. She wasn’t fat. She was fat and ugly. Closer to 200 than 100 fat…teeth IRIE would claim ‘bode on ugly…There was just no friggen way this was gonna happen. No way. Right?

Wrong. Over an hour has passed at this point, and the black liquid has entered the bloodstream. I don’t know about you guys, but the shit makes me crazy. Sure enough, as the four of us are getting hammered the hottie seyz “Let’s go back to my place” Considering the opportunity I’d have to stare down at her petite ass on the walk there, I say “IN”.

Ten minutes later we’re at the hottie’s place and I’ll cut to the chase…buddy goes back to their bedroom and the door slams shut. *crickets* Fattie seyz “My friend is really pretty don’t you think?” I agree. We can hear the other two fumbling around in the bedroom….it is ON in there. Fattie then seyz “I’m not as pretty as her, but I’m better in bed than her. I’m good at what I do”.

Now I’m rationalizing the situation, after six shots of Jager and countless beers beforehand. What if I bang this fat piece of shit, but keep the mental image of the hottie and listen to her getting punished through bedroom door. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s probably more honorable than going back and jerking off. Right?

I can’t really remember how it started, but before I knew it I was pounding the Michelin girl from behind on a couch which had clearly been stolen from a dorm. Probably had quarts of DNA all over it. I have no qualms with collaborative art.

I’m slamming this fattie from behind and the milky-white rolls on either side of her torso make her look like a caterpillar walking down the sidewalk. Oh and her tits were all pointy with stretch-marks…prune boobs or as we called them “prunoobs”. It didn’t matter, I was gonna take this fattie to the mat tonight.

I turn back as I’m slamming it, working the mental image of the hottie in the other room as I hear her getting the 10 commandments from my buddy, and then it was go-time. I pull out and blast 98.6 all over this hog’s back and hair.

Immediately, it became about escape. How the fuck am I gonna get out of this situation and NO FUCKING WAY I’m gonna kiss her. She says she wants to go clean up in the restroom. Soon as she’s out of view, I’m out the fucking door in my underwear with only my shoes and a pair of jeans. Down two flights of stairs to the back alley of this place, and I’m off into the night.

I haven’t tapped a fattie since.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:49 pm

Jimmy Medalions wrote:Now I’m rationalizing the situation, after six shots of Jager and countless beers beforehand. What if I bang this fat piece of shit, but keep the mental image of the hottie and listen to her getting punished through bedroom door. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s probably more honorable than going back and jerking off. Right?

I’m slamming this fattie from behind and the milky-white rolls on either side of her torso make her look like a caterpillar walking down the sidewalk.

Beautiful.

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:50 pm

JM wrote:Closer to 200 than 100 fat…teeth IRIE would claim ‘bode on

Oustanding.

RACK Meds.

Jimmy Medalions · Post by **Jimmy Medalions** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 11:23 pm

I gotta re-post BtH's story from the other thread about fat chicks. Awesome.

Believe the Heupel wrote:Heh. My worst one was senior year of college. I flat-out didn't give a fuck, I was just looking to get laid.

A couple of chicks from the house across the street were hanging out one night and said that the girls had always given the houseboys nicknames. Being that I was a houseboy the year before, I asked what our crew's nicknames were. There was Tom, the spiky-haired one, Chris the quiet one, etc, but they wouldn't tell me mine. Finally, they give in and say that my nickname was the cute one-fuckin' a, dude, I'm Paul McCartney.

As years go by, I think more and more that my nickname was the fat smelly one and they just threw "cute" out there to fuck with me. Back to the story.

I ask "If I'm the cute one, why the hell am I sitting here on a Friday night talking with you two?"

Mind you, I'd fucked their Big Sis several times, but I wasn't above getting a little action from one of the Littles.

They respond "Well, our pledge Barbara can't stop talking about you."

"Who the fuck is Barbara? Is she fat or something?"

"No no, she's tall and thin. We'll bring her over some time."

Fuckin' A.

Later that night. I'm fucked up. I've got a bottle of Morgan in my hand and I'm sitting in my room with the lights out wearing shades, boxers, a t-shirt and nothing else while blasting Prince's "Sexy Motherfucker" on the stereo.

Enter Barbara.

I'm 'faced like no other, and it's dark in the room (as previously mentioned.) I can tell from silhouette that she's not fat, so I'm thinking "game on."

She plunks down on the futon/couch piece of shit that's frat-guy standard, and we talk for like 5 minutes then I start pulling tongue with her.

This dude Mark walks by the still-open door, sees me, and double-takes. I give him the universal sign of "Am I too fucking drunk to realize that I'm mugging with an ugly chick?"-you know, raise the eyebrows and tip the bottle-behind her back.

He says "Getcha some."

Fuckin A.

I do terrible things to this girl. I let her do terrible things to me. Best part? We're done and she asks if I mind if she walks back to her dorm and sleeps in her own bed. Kick ass.

Next night, she shows up again and I'm fuckered again. Rinse, repeat.

She finally comes over during the day on Sunday. Now, I ain't saying she's ugly or nothing, but she ain't attractive. Like even a bit. Braces, bro. BRACES. PURPLE FUCKIN' EYESHADOW. Frizzy hair. I mean, again, not horrible, but not attractive. Meanwhile, she's prattling on about going to her sorority formal and meeting her parents and I've got the worst hangover known to man.

Holy fuck.

If I ever see Mark again, I'm going to fight him.

You know, I think I've posted this before on one of the various incarnations of the CFB board, but it's always worth a retelling.

Cosmo Kramer · Post by **Cosmo Kramer** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 11:36 pm

I've had a few fat chicks in my day that were pretty fucking fun! Anyone else?....LIARS!

Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff · Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:19 am

Rack the fuck out of all of your stories. I'm dying laughing here.

I've hogged plenty of women in my life. In fact, I have a few video tapes of myself in different sex acts with different women. The one I pulled out the other night was when I hid a camcorder in my bedroom and filmed myself fucking my 37 year old, 200 pound co-worker.
I jacked off to that shit. I had a nice side view of it. Something rhythmic about watching my six pack stomach and nice ass cheeks and sculpted chest pumping my huge, shaved dick with athleticism and stamina and fortitude, into that plumper with her big tits and folds of fat. The doggystyle action was awesome too because you see those tits swaying and her gut hanging down and her fat legs moving as I pound that nice twat. I don't know if I was able to blow such a substantial load due to how good I looked or her....it was more the combination of us both than either one of us.
My best all time story (or worst) was also in college, junior year. And yes, this story also involves a hottie which a friend of mine, and not I, fucked. I was hanging outside one night after about 6 beers, smoking a cig, and from down the hall comes a buddy with a few other people. One was a hot chick that he had been working his ass off to get a piece of, and by the look on his drunk, grinning grill, things were going well. She was flirting with him as they all took a smoke break, and the other girl with them was a red-haired mammoth with glasses and pale skin. This chick was actually in my Education class, no question the fattest and arguably the ugliest in the class. At least 200 pounds and she was even wearing jeans that made her ass and hips explode into the next stratosphere. The hot chick and the bison went to take a piss together and buddy pulled me aside and was like "I'm working the hookup tonight."
I told him congratulations and went back in my fucking room by myself and watched Vh1 while nursing some beers.
A little later I heard some laughing and my door knocked.
I opened it up and it's my friend, the hot girl, and the wildebeast. "Yer, you got any beer? We're fresh out!"
I let them in and I had my black lights and lava lamp working and let them sit down as I poured some Jose Cuervo shots and Dr Peppers as a chaser. We sat there watching tv together and the fat fuck sat her beanbag ass right beside me. My friend and his chick were in makeout mode before long which wasn't awkward for me since I was drunk anyway and PRAYING the fat chick was going to leave when they did. It didn't take long for them to leave and go back to his room for an ass-plastering, but the fat chick STAYED.

Even 10 beers deep and a few shots of Cuervo down my hole wasn't enough, or so I thought.
I asked her if she wanted any more and she stood up beside me as I poured us both a shot. We were giggling and did one of those shots where you feed the other person the shot at the same time, and then she took her glasses off and leaned up against me as if to brace herself. I pulled her red hair back and all I can remember is heavy breathing, a feeling of almost blacking out, and then being on my fucking bed fumbling at our clothes.
For some reason right as I planted my body against that enormous pile of whale blubber, my cock got hard as the Rock of GIbralter and I was biting her neck and then sucking on that boar's tits. I will say this- it was dark in that room but to her credit she had some massive if not floppy titties. At 20, those tits were pretty fucking floppy.
Her thighs were as thick as beer kegs and I have no clue how my dick snorkled its way under her gut, through those huge beer keg thighs and into her cock-vaccuum.
We grunted and moaned like uncivilized cavepeople that night. I didn't have to picture the hot chick to get my nut busted either....it was the sheer exhilaration of conquering Jabba and feeling that hugeass body under mine. I bit her ear as I spewed my load in her pussy and bearthed hot air in her ear and woke up the next day with a hangover and with that chick lying on the floor, naked and passed out. She looked fucking HIDEOUS and fatter than I could imagine. I got up, put a towel on, tip-toed over her fat ass and grabbed my last Beast Light and drank it in the shitter and then took a shower. I came back to my room and put a blanket over her fat naked ass so it wouldn't stink up my room, and I passed out again. Pig in a blanket. I woke up around noon and the beast was gone. I hoped it was a dream but my dickhead friend apparently let the rest of my hallmates know I tapped it and they had taped pictures of pigs on my door plus a bag of Hog Skins. I just said, "Beats jacking off."
That was some good shit.

Rob Lowe · Post by **Rob Lowe** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:34 am

Archive.

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:35 am

Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff wrote: The hot chick and the bison went to take a piss together

I opened it up and it's my friend, the hot girl, and the wildebeast.

I was biting her neck and then sucking on that boar's tits.

Her thighs were as thick as beer kegs and I have no clue how my dick snorkled its way under her gut, through those huge beer keg thighs and into her cock-vaccuum.

Im in tears.

This thread is one of the funniest fucking reads ever.

RAAAACK!!

Cosmo Kramer · Post by **Cosmo Kramer** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:40 am

Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff

That is a fucking great story! Now that's what I'm talking about!

RACK!

King Crimson · Post by **King Crimson** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 3:32 am

a couple years in a row (on my birthday, no less)....drank a lot of cheap sake with her. around Christmas, home visiting my folks. pretty large black girl, Carmen. she was definitely keeping you up all night. she's pretty cool but really quite large....writes for the alternative arts/culture paper, had a message from friggin' Bo Diddley on her voice one year scheduling an interview. was better looking when she had long braided hair (real). lots of time on my mom's couch the next day watching football ordering x-large pizza with everything because i was too screwed up to say anything else. feeling pretty hung over/like i wasn't going to have a stiffy for a month ot two.

last i heard she was in trouble with the cops and strung out on h.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:46 am

Huge racks to Meds & Filthy.

Funny stuff!

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:51 am

Archive this bitch.

Fat Bones · Post by **Fat Bones** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:14 am

Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff wrote:Pig in a blanket.

Chubby racks.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:45 am

rack meds. all time epoch balst. great shit.

88: any story about banging with a dip in is archive worthy.

T1B

Story Time: the last fat chick you banged

Story Time: the last fat chick you banged

Re: Story Time: the last fat chick you banged