SC-ND

[Laxplayer]

Alright condom fan, it's here. The one a lot of people have been talking about. I like Jimmy and Greg, but this week you're just two of those fucker SC fans. I can't stand either one of you spoiled little rich, had my daddy pay for my education faggots. I fart in your general direction.

On to the game. Can ND win this one?
I'm not so sure. SC has obviously struggled in their last 3 games against very inferior opponents. If they get behind like they did against the ducks and Scum Devils will they be able to come back? Will Brady Quinn have a big day throwing the ball? what will Weis have game planned now that he's had an extra week to prepare? Will ND's secondary be torched like a forest fire?

I think the key in this game for ND is to shorten it. Control the clock, stop SC a couple of times, get to Leinart and drill his hollywood ass into the ground. You can't stop their offense but how do you contain it? SC's offense will score points but if ND gets up early you know Weis won't get outcoached like Koetter and Bellotti did. Granted PC won't get out coached either. I think SC still wins this one but it's not a 31 point blowout like the last 3. A lot of points will be scored. I'm thinking 41-38 SC.

What do you faggots think?

Please take all of this post with a grain of salt because I still like you guys.

[Terry in Crapchester]

ESPN actually got something right, for once. What ND has to do to win this game is to control the ball, keep moving the ball, and keep the SC offense off the field as much as possible.

For ND to win this game, they're gonna have to have at least 35-40 minutes time of possession, put up at least 28 points, and no turnovers in either red zone.

[GreginPG]

Alright condom fan, it's here. The one a lot of people have been talking about. I like Jimmy and Greg, but this week you're just two of those fucker SC fans. I can't stand either one of you spoiled little rich, had my daddy pay for my education faggots. I fart in your general direction.

On to the game. Can ND win this one?
I'm not so sure. SC has obviously struggled in their last 3 games against very inferior opponents. If they get behind like they did against the ducks and Scum Devils will they be able to come back? Will Brady Quinn have a big day throwing the ball? what will Weis have game planned now that he's had an extra week to prepare? Will ND's secondary be torched like a forest fire?

I think the key in this game for ND is to shorten it. Control the clock, stop SC a couple of times, get to Leinart and drill his hollywood ass into the ground. You can't stop their offense but how do you contain it? SC's offense will score points but if ND gets up early you know Weis won't get outcoached like Koetter and Bellotti did. Granted PC won't get out coached either. I think SC still wins this one but it's not a 31 point blowout like the last 3. A lot of points will be scored. I'm thinking 41-38 SC.

What do you faggots think?

Please take all of this post with a grain of salt because I still like you guys.

I think you're a USC-hating, Domer dick-sucking faggot. Fuck off.

[Mikey]

Struggled?

They beat Oregon by 32 points and Arizona by 3 touchdowns. They beat a ranked ASU by 10. Sure they've been flat in the first half, but struggled? I think maybe you're setting the bar a little bit high here. Let's have your definition of "struggle" before you go any further with this.

ND will be the best team they've played against yet this year. But make no mistake, it's the Irish that have something to prove here, not SC. ND will have to dominate the first half and play an almost perfect game to have a chance in hell.

[Laxplayer]

Greg...you're right. Thanks for the compliment.

Mikey. Struggling is watching freeze play golf. I think SC struggled because they didn't dominate. They didn't have things on track from the onset of either game. Same thing yesterday. Struggling is allowing an incredibly inferior opponent to hang around giving them the belief they can still win the game.

[T REX]

I agree with lax....for the so-called greatest team of all-time they can barely get through a game without falling behind by double digits. And its the freaking Pac-10....

Play like a champion today.

[Laxplayer]

T-Rex....with all due respect, please don't agree with me. I've got a good rep on the board. :wink:

[T REX]

Lax - Its funny. I would love to see everyone OUTSIDE this board and who does what. I am sure it would be very interesting.

I still agree with you though.

[Mikey]

Lax - Its funny. I would love to see everyone OUTSIDE this board and who does what. I am sure it would be very interesting.

I still agree with you though.

Laxplayer = failed golf instructor
Mikey = failed failed Minoxidil demonstrator

Any other takers?

[Laxplayer]

I'm not a failed golf instructor.....well maybe with Freeze. by the way, where the hell is he? Hey, I'm the head girls golf coach out my new high school.

[Mikey]

Hey, I didn't know. Freeze was the student I had in mind. Props on the new gig, that's nice work if you can get it.
Just keep your hands off the students, OK?

[GreginPG]

I'm not a failed golf instructor.....well maybe with Freeze. by the way, where the hell is he? Hey, I'm the head girls golf coach out my new high school.

You are the failed President of the USC hater club. Pathetic really. You suck!

[GreginPG]

Hey, I didn't know. Freeze was the student I had in mind. Props on the new gig, that's nice work if you can get it.
Just keep your hands off the students, OK?

:roll:

He can't possibly have his hands on the students when they are all over himself.

[The Seer]

Hey, I'm the head girls golf coach out my new high school.

That position could potentially be problematic for one such as myself....

[Jimmy Medalions]

In the beginning, there was the ailing Grandma Holtz



Sure, this old coot enjoyed success in his earlier years, but as the hair got thinner and his dentures got looser it became clear the guy had lost the confidence of his players and the administration at Notre Dame (i.e. The French).

Enter Southrn Cal in 1996 with Holtz's walking papers in-hand. In a spirited game that would go to overtime, the two-time-no-heisman-winning underachiever named Ron Powlus threw left and was blocked five yards into the secondary by Mark Casano. Game over. Career over. Granny had failed The French for the final time and was promptly fired.

So who did the French go after next?

This idiot



Apparently the higher-ups at French Technical School of the Arts figured that even though Holtz was finished, one of his staffers could just take over and right the ship. After all, We Are The French and Winning is our Entitlement.

Bob's record against Southern Cal: an impressive 3-2 but apparently not good enough for The French to keep him around. Oh, and bowl games under ths dimwit? A Kal-esque 0-3.

Think about that. 3-2 over some of the worst Southern Cal squads ever fielded, and 0-3 in bowl games. Oops, guess that Frenchletic Director of theirs made a slight miscalculation. Fine. We'll go out and hire this guy:



Oops, turns out Georgie was a liar and made a bigger laughing stock out of The French than previously thought possible. Memo to Frenchfan: rebuilding is code for "we're going to suck this year" or, more aptly-stated for The French, "we're going to suck again this year".

So to right the ship, Frenchletic Director Idiot fires Georgie after, what, a month? And to make things even more hilarious, decides to hire this moron:



[pause] [/pause]

You betcha. The bitter, reverse-racist fraud from Palo Alto who lucked into a single Rose Bowl (in which he got beat by a slow, one-demensional and thick-ankled Wisky squad) thanks to a horrible season for other Pac-10 teams.

Clearly a political hire, after the beatdown The French received in the wake of the O'Leary hire.

Black: check
Coached at academic school: check
Media will play up both of the above up: check

Ty Willingham. Coaching The French. Sorry, it's too funny.

It was looking good early for the Kool Ade drinkers and FrenchieSheep. An 8-0 start which would finally come to and end when those boys from Boson College came to town. The same Boston College that always finds a way to embarass The French at the best possible time.

The Noble Black Man went from media darling to just another coach overnight. It didn't really matter because, in the end, they had to come to Los Angeles.

Oh, and Ty's record against USC: 93. As in, losing three games for three years in a row for 31 points apiece. Never mind that the assraping Southren Cal dropped on him in two of those meetings most likely locked up the Heisman votes for Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart. I wonder if Ron Powlus...never mind he never won a Heisman.

Thirty-one points in your own crib. GOOD JOB WILLINGFRAUD!!!

So after three years riding the shower rod and turning The French into a bigger national laughing stock, The Frenchletic Director finally grew a pair and finally hired a coach with credentials:



Good old Charlie We-Is-Fat. The guy who appears to be roughly 12,000 salads short of being at his proper weight. A guy so fat he has his own gravitational pull. A guy with super bowl rings to match his extra chins. Yes sir, a fat but experienced coach.

What does Charlie do to start the season? Win. And win some more.

How does the nation respond?



The French enter the top ten!! They haven't played anyone but fuck it, let's put 'em in the top ten because their inbred national fanbase wants it and we'll sell more papers!!

The welcome party for We-Is-Fat was short-lived, of course, when Babs State rolled into South Bend and beat them. Sound familiar?

It's a shame The French have let themselves become such a joke on a national level. From Granny Holtz to Bob Davie to Ty Willingidiot to We-Is-Fat. When will The French become relevant in the landscape of College Football?

Sometime after 10/15/05, you can be sure. While true that Bob coached idiots and Ty coached quitters, you can bet that We-Is-Fat will have his kids in a mental state to play on 10/15/05. And they may even throw up a bunch of points.

But it won't matter, because when a squad averages 700 yards of total offense and their defensive speed is seen nowhwere inside of The French's recent schedule, it won't be pretty.

The French will go down like babs on Lloyd Carr's pole, come 10/15/05. And you're right. In life sometimes things just aren't fair.

Sucks for The French.

[GreginPG]

Ok, that made me laugh.

I am somewhat disappointed that you couldn't come up with a picture of WillingIdiot with his index finger pointed to the sky. You did have the next best thing though...a picture of WillingTard with the jaw clenched, portraying a man that is in charge of his team and a look that says, "What in the fuck is going on out on that field? We are getting plungered again."

Thanks for the story. Tell us another.

[stuckinia]

It will be interesting to see USC matched up against a non-Pac10 D. In other words, a D that might apply QB pressure, at least by accident.

[GreginPG]

It will be interesting to see USC matched up against a non-Pac10 D. In other words, a D that might apply QB pressure, at least by accident.

I would agree with this statement...it would have to be by accident. USC's OL is one of the best in the nation and they should be able to continue opening up the holes for White and Bush and continue to give Leinart time to throw against ND's weak secondary. It's gonna take more than pressure. ND's defense needs to play at a high level the entire game and force some turnovers.

[Jimmy Medalions]

Thanks for the story. Tell us another.

Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all I suppose. Willingracist snapped off eight wins before the fraud was exposed. And by Boston College of all teams...but don't listen to The French, they'd have you believe that those gutty Eagles always play them tough (read: we aren't good enough to beat them consistently, which we should be).

Come to think of it...Boston College has beaten them four straight years...2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004. And each of these games was close.

Which makes me want to understand the mindset of The French these days...is a win over Boston College more important than a win over Southern Cal? Let's be honest, in the past losses to either team, The French were only in contention against the Eagles. The beatdowns by the Trojans were so utter and complete that you have to wonder if The French have already chalked our 2005 matchup as a loss.

And check it out: Boston College is curiously-absent from the French's calendar this year. So if we punk them for a second straigh time, at home, do you think their Frenchletic Director will call Mike Garrett and beg to get out of our matchup next season?

[stuckinia]

I am not trying to disrespect USC, just their opponents. A play stood out last night where Leinart had time for a shave and haircut, then a shoeshine from Bush, before he threw the pass. If he had a phone, he could have ordered a pizza. I know NDs D isn't the best, but can it be any worse than the average Pac10 D?

[Jimmy Medalions]

It will be interesting to see USC matched up against a non-Pac10 D. In other words, a D that might apply QB pressure, at least by accident.

You must have missed the ASU game. Their front four stifled the passing game for us and it was only when we committed to running the rock that we took that game over.

[Jimmy Medalions]

for those at home, yes i'm trolling big-time right now.

[T REX]

I am not trying to disrespect USC, just their opponents. A play stood out last night where Leinart had time for a shave and haircut, then a shoeshine from Bush, before he threw the pass. If he had a phone, he could have ordered a pizza. I know NDs D isn't the best, but can it be any worse than the average Pac10 D?

There is no defense in the Pac-10. None.

[Jimmy Medalions]

There is no defense on that squad from Gainesville. None.

Sincerely,
Alabama

fixed

[The Seer]

I am not trying to disrespect USC, just their opponents. A play stood out last night where Leinart had time for a shave and haircut, then a shoeshine from Bush, before he threw the pass. If he had a phone, he could have ordered a pizza. I know NDs D isn't the best, but can it be any worse than the average Pac10 D?

There is no sense in my takes. None.

Again, at NC

[T REX]

Oh look....pac-10 tards.......yawn......

Why do you guys act like such punks? This whole baord is a complete joke. POST something worth a damn already. Seriously, how old are you guys? I'm guessing not very. You act like kids. It's pretty funny.

[Laxplayer]

Jimmy, that was epic...keep trolling......

[GreginPG]

Oh look....pac-10 tards.......yawn......

Why do you guys act like such punks? This whole baord is a complete joke. POST something worth a damn already. Seriously, how old are you guys? I'm guessing not very. You act like kids. It's pretty funny.

You're a complete joke. How many more times do you have to post that there is no defense played in the Pac 10? That Floriduh plays in the toughest conference in the country? That blah, blah, blah, fucking blah...

Then eventually, (and predictably) you deal your so-called "maturity card", acting like you're somehow better than everybody else on this board and are above and beyond reproach. Give it a fucking rest already! If this board is a complete joke than just get the fuck out of here tard.

[T REX]

Actually, I have tempered myself since the beginning of the year. I have made many attempts to just post and be gracious but ITS YOU assholes that act like you are in high school. Fuck, grow up already. Its not about being better. Its called just be a fucking nice person. Is that possible? Do you have enough maturity to do that? Doesn't look like it so far. And, as many have learned in the past.....that fall from your pedastal hurts. SO, have a great day. I'll be around.

[GreginPG]

Actually, I have tempered myself since the beginning of the year. I have made many attempts to just post and be gracious but ITS YOU assholes that act like you are in high school. Fuck, grow up already. Its not about being better. Its called just be a fucking nice person. Is that possible? Do you have enough maturity to do that? Doesn't look like it so far. And, as many have learned in the past.....that fall from your pedastal hurts. SO, have a great day. I'll be around.

See? There you go again. You just can't help yourself. Sad really. Oh and thanks for the warning.

[T REX]

Not a warning......had nebraska fan up my ass for a year or two followed by Ou fan which turned into the great big 12 is overrated war. Its called karma and its a bitch. Have a great day my friend.

[The Seer]

Actually, I have massaged my prostate since the beginning of the year. I have made many attempts to just post and every time I do that I sound like I really want to win the board bitch award - but ITS YOU assholes that act like you should take my nonsense non-stop. Fuck, I should give you all a break already. Its not about being bitter. Its called just be a fucking nice person. Is that necessarily a melt down? Do you have enough maturity to take pity on a wayward soul that incessantly has logic get in the way of my arguments? Doesn't look like it so far. And, as many have learned in the past, tards like myself will just not slink away as long as my team in it's weak-assed conference only loses 2-3 games this year... SO, have a great day. I'll be around, should anyone need a doormat or a legitimate contender with M2 for board bitch 2005....

FTFY-NC, BUT WILL START CHARGING SOON....

[Jimmy Medalions]

Picture book time, kids.

2002


Ho hum, guess I'll hang 425 on The French tonight and lock up the Heisman. Meds, book those tickets to Miami.


In the air, on the ground, it doesn't matter. It's business, nothing personal.


Yep. Bode.


S'cuse me, you're in my way.


Too little, too late.


Hi.

2003


Hi. Get to know me. You're gonna hate me.


Lucky for you I'm not staying around this place. But look out for a guy wearing number 8, and the next number 1. I punked you today.


Late.


I suck, I suck, I suck, I'm so fired...


Me again. Good thing it's a crisp day 'cause I just tore off anothe fifty yards.


Dawg you was so open on that route. Word.


Magic 8 Ball Seyz: plungering number 3 coming up...

2004


Me again. Late.


Sup. I'm that number 8 guy Mike was talking about. I just went 57 yards on you. Yeah, we'll only go for one...


Brady is a gay name. Just sayin.


Yeah. Lightning.



I'm not even good and I'm in the end zone. :?


To the hizzy.

Heisman Ceremony


And I'd like to thank The French for letting me bitch-slap them so severely that I locked up all the East Coast votes. It made the difference and for that I'm truly appreciative. Also, I think Ty Willingham is an excellent coach and should be given a 10-year extension. Fight on.

[Turdmaker]

USC has way more talent than ND, and Pete Carroll won't be outcoached by Charlie Weis like Charlie outcoaches all the other fucks they've played so far. USC will be up for this one would be my guess-after 2 national titles in a row, it's got to be hard for to get up for the conference foes you usually roll.

But the PAC-10 just sucks and I'm a PAC-10 guy, but the average PAC-10 game looks like two hand fucking touch. I like to see good offense as much as the next guy, but most PAC 10 games look like the offenses are practicing their plays against no defense at all. The bottom line for SC is they've just got to not fall in love with their press clippings-get to the Rose Bowl, then rely on their coaching staff to outcoach Mack Brown which may not be the toughest thing in the world to do.

[PSUFAN]

I like to see good offense as much as the next guy, but most PAC 10 games look like the offenses are practicing their plays against no defense at all.

Did you catch any of the Wisconsin/Northwestern game? Mighta looked familiar to you...

[RadioFan]

I won't quote his entire post ...

Notre Dame (i.e. The French)

A guy so fat he has his own gravitational pull. A guy with super bowl rings to match his extra chins. Yes sir, a fat but experienced coach.

The French enter the top ten!! They haven't played anyone but fuck it, let's put 'em in the top ten because their inbred national fanbase wants it and we'll sell more papers!!

Jimmah is on Fiah!

Outstanding post.

RACK

Shit, all of you know NBC is going to be sucking ND's dick closer than a cowpatty to Bevo's asshole before it's about to come out. And if ND actually is able to beat USC, you know NBC will declare them in a BCS game, if not the de-facto MNC.

:roll:

Howevah ... as much as Jimmy's post was PHEN-OM-EN-AL ... (al?), I'll still be rooting for ND this weekend. :x

[Cicero]

It will be a good offensive game throughout the first half as USC goes into the half up 17-14. The second half will be a diff story as the horses from USC will go into fifth gear and wear down a gritty Irish team 38-21.

[Killian]

It's funny that Jimmy keeps referring to the past three games as "ass rapings". Funny as in scary, considering the terminology and the fact that the Condoms like to pose for pictures like this:


it makes me think that specific term isn't used as a descriptive metaphor, but more of a want and desire by these "boi's". Why that spelling? Take a look at this website: ssssssssssuper!.

Now what Jimmy failed to mention when bringing up St. Lou



were the numbers 9-1-1. This was the majority of a 13 year winless stretch by the Trojans. Yes, 13 straight years without a victory. They had 1 tie against an unranked Irish squad, but they went 13 long years without a win against their biggest rival. And before UCLA fan jumps in, USC treats UCLA as a rival as much as UofM does for MSU. Yeah, you jump up and bite big brother every now and then, but they're more concerned with big boy (or in USC's case, big boi) matters.

Let's take a look at the brilliant football hires during this period, shall we?

Ted Tollner


I can't find any pictures of good 'ole Teddy in any USC gear, because I think they were burned in effigy. Either way, Teddy Ballgame was hired in 1983 to follow in some large (literally and figuratively, we'll get to that later) shoes. You catch his best work on ESPN classic, blowing a huge lead to then first year head coach Lou Holtz. And this was after 3 straight losses to Gerry Faust.

After an up and down 5 years, the Condoms moved on to:

Larry Smith



Same phenomon with Tollner happend with Smith. Nary a photo wearing the 'SC. Oh well. Smith had some moderate success and got the Condoms as high as #2, where they were promptly hammered by Notre Dame, at 'SC, after Holtz sent home Ricky Watters and Tony Brooks. Soon after, Larry Smith's fortune went south, capped with a stellar 3-8 record in 1991 and a 6-5-1 record in 1992.

The USC fanbase was getting impatient. They wanted a winner. They wanted someone that could bring back the magic. Enter the fat man.

John Robinson


Now, while he may not have the same immense girth as Charlie, I wouldn't get in front of him at a buffet line. And what he lacked in the waist line department, he didn't make up for under the hat.

Bob Davie will win 100 games at Notre Dame

Uh, no John. That time away must have really fried your brain. But before that brain lapse, Johnny boy did recapture some of that magic. He lead his undefeated, highly ranked, Meshawn led USC program into Notre Dame. They went up against a team that had already lost to Northwestern and Ohio State and looked to be on the road to a poor season. Result, no-time Heisman winner Ron Powlus walked all over the Condoms, 38-10. I think Meshawn is still wearing is parka.

Fat John fell on hard times in 1996 and 1997, but he did manage to end the 13 year slide against ND and post back to back wins against the Irish. But he was replaced by the greatest coach in the history of the NCAA:

Paul Hackett


Paul did manage to beat ND in his first season, aided by Bob Davie having Jarious Jackson take a safety against LSU, a play in which he tore his ACL thus ending his regular season. But after three forgettable years, USC thought it was time for a change. Personally, I don't think he was given enough time. After all, he didn't have his players and they hadn't really grasped his schemes yet. Either way, that genius was let go.

Now USC had to find someone and they had to find someone fast. After they were turned down by virtually everyone under the sun, this man


benefited from having Jamie Carroll on the women's volleball team. Jamie just so happens to be the daughter of this man:



no wait, this guy:



Either way, Pete got the job after some serious begging on his part.

Now Pete has never met a mirror or reporter who pronounced his name correctly he didn't like. As evident by his very humble website, bow before me for I am the god, Pete Carroll!!!!!!!

I have to admit, Pete has done very well for the Condoms. He has 1 1/2 straight national champions, 2 Heisman Trophy winners, and has beat Notre Dame 3 straight years by 93 points. But he still couldn't beat Bob Davie.

Now Pete loves his players, almost as much as he loves himself:







Well, maybe he just loves Matt. Either way, Matty loves him too:



But Pete seems to be enjoying this season more than the others. Why is that? Because I think he knows that this is the last time he will be winning for the next few years. Because next year, Pete will be looking at this:



Here's his new quarterback getting ready to do the meet and greet with Poodle:



So as you can see, Notre Dame isn't the only school in this game with a comical history of hiring their coach.

On to the game. This isn't the first time ND has hosted a team many considered to be one of the best teams of all time. A team that is too fast on offense, and to hard hitting on defense. In fact, Notre Dame has faced a team like that on October 15th before:

October 15th, 1988



Here come the Irish!

[Jimmy Medalions]

[pause]

I think Meshawn is still wearing is parka.

[/pause]

bwahahahaaa!

[Screw_Michigan]

great thread. rack all takes.