He be Wiggin..

[LTS TRN 2]

But c'mon, Mikey/Meat Suck

What makes you think that’s my Troll?

Grammatical markers, the identical grumpy old man sensibility, and it just sounds like you. :P

[Screw_Michigan]

"I heard the new today oh boy,
about a tard named LTS Turn 2,
and though the new was rather sad,
well I just had to laugh, I read his epitaph."

[LTS TRN 2]

But where's the rest of it? Surely a simple hobbled first verse as a lame attempt at "smack" doesn't really move the needle. C'mon..here's how it's done. :wink:

Let's take a Lennon tune and switch the lyrics to apply to an actual incident..in this case some young lady who in her first experinece of sky-diving suffered the result of her parachute not opening...


Picture yourself in a town outside Cleveland,
it's flat and it's boring, you're going insane...
Somebody calls you--a friend--and they ask you,
"Would you like to jump from a plane?

Everything's easy, you'll learn the first day,
everything's under control..
all of your worries and troubles will all fade away...

Lucid in the sky and falling,
lucid in the sky and falling,
lucid in the sky and falling.....
Aaaahhhhh..."

Follow them down to a field with an airplane,
people with parachutes, each one the same..( ).
Everyone's laughing, you practice and take off
and wait 'til he calls out your name...

Not even breathing you lean through the door,
fall out and you start to fly.
Pull on the rip-cord, you look up--there's nothing but sky!!

Lucid in the sky and falling,
luclid in the sky and falling,
lucid in the sky and falling...

AAAAGGGGGGGHhhhhh..

Picture yourself in a bed, in a bodycast,
miracles happen, you've somehow survived.
Suddenly someone is there--the instructor--
his lawyers are all wearing ties.

Lucid in the sky and falling..
lucid in the sky and falling,
lucid in the sky and falling..

MmmMmMmmmm. :twisted:
(sounds of The Tenant ending scene)


And how did she survive? Well it seems that upon Ohio's eastern border with Pennsylvania is a large reservior called Pymatuning, no doubt a native tribe word meaning "gigantic swamp." And that's because prior to being dammed and made into a useful reservoir, this broad area was a swamp on a Jurassic level. In fact it is the western extent of the Finger Lakes glacial sprawl on that part of the continent. And while the swamp had been tamed by the dam, with holiday cabins for rent upon the shores of the good and properly established Lake Pymatuning, large fallow swaths of swampish useless land lay spread throughout the neighboring counties. And this hapless gal on her first--and only--sky-diving misadventure, managed to land, after falling about two miles, screaming, in a soft, wet spread of acceping, non-discrimintory mud.

[LTS TRN 2]

Okay, back to the topic at hand--the MOST egregious event in modern sports history, still wrapped in mystery and...what?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFpORKbZK74

Of course, still NOTHING..not a hint...

[LTS TRN 2]

Rumors are rampant

Not a word of explanation, only that the return of He Who Wigs is imminent...

[LTS TRN 2]

And it's official..

The Wiggster is back. The easily digestible story is that his dear old dad was dying. Okay, whatever, just put on the skids and get back on the court...

[Donnie Baker's Ghost]

But let's get back to the bizarre situation.

We're told that Wiggins has taken leave for "family matters." Okay, fine, that's not uncommon. But this time, though the standard "family matters" has been offered, what can it possibly be that can't be mentioned? And we're told that the teammates and management know what is the basic matter..but it can't be mentioned? WTF??

So what can it be?

C'mon, kick around some possibilities?

Anything?

Okay, I'll start.

1. Wiggens' family is being held hostage by aliens from the fake moon. What they want remains unclear. He has returned home to help negotiate, only to learn that the aliens have confused him with Kyrie Irving. And since they have ray guns, he's unable to return to the team at this time.

2. A "Nigerian Prince" scam has enfolded his grifting relatives and now he's fully strapped in--sending cyber payments and receiving even more convoluted instructions--and they've got all his personals...and it will take some time to sort it all out..

3. His outside baby mama has arrived at his home, aggreived and demanding redress, and given birth to a monstrous transmogrification of Jezebel--which has already been drafted by the Pistons. And Andrew has been given "feeding" duties with a Buttagied-like fake tits milking device.

I missed this the first time. Very funny and well written.

I'll offer a theory. Someone asked him what a woman was and Wiggins had the audacity to give a serious answer. His family and legal team have been working 24/7 to scrub his social media presence.