T1B

Posted: **Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:34 pm**

Sung to "Old Man River"

Ol' man Goober,
Dat ol' man Goober
He mus' know sumpin'
But don't say nuthin',
He jes' keeps trollin'
He keeps on trollin' along.
He wax his tainter,
He buff his bottom,
An' what he's written
is soon forgotten,
But ol'man Goober,
He jes keeps postin' along.

Goober he, he sweat an' strain,
Boozin' all day' an' liver in pain,
Tote dat bourban!
Drink dat ale!
Git a lotta drunk
An' his postin' fail.
Ah gits weary
An' sick of readin'
His weak ass postin'
Like somethin' dyin',
But ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps heavin' along.

Drink all night
Drink all day,
He gon'a puke,
De drunk ass way.
Bends his knees
An' bows his head,
An' pull on 'dat bottle
Until he dead.
Let him make gay like a little sissy,
Let him go 'way from de One Board host;
He diddle dat ween called de little Goober,
Dat shrivled ween dat be so gross.

Ol' man Goober,
Dat ol' man Goober,
He sayin' sumpin'
But don't know nuthin'
He jes' keeps rollin'
He keeps on rollin' along.
He cruise dem beaches,
He take nude pictures,
An' dem dat sees 'em
Him eyes is burnin,
but ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps showin' his dong.

Tote dat whisky!
Drink dat rye!
Git hammered drunk
'Til de day he die.
He gits weary
Ah' sick of hin cryin'
Ah' tired of him postin'
An' not even tryin',
But ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps rollin' along!

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 1:37 am**

Lord, have mercy. Jay just won the internet today. That was brutal.

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 1:56 am**

I am thoroughly flattered that Gay in Phoenix spent that much time replying to me. Hard to believe that some ~~lovely lady~~ pathetic skank hasn't scooped him up by now.

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 2:23 am**

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 6:52 am**

Goober McTuber wrote:I am thoroughly flattered that Gay in Phoenix spent that much time replying to me. Hard to believe that some ~~lovely lady~~ ~~innocent bystander~~ pathetic skank hasn't scooped him up by now.

FTFY

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:45 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:Jay just kicked you in your ball. Accept it.

You know as well as I do that Goober is in a constant state of denial.

Dishes it out, but can't take it in return.

Cheers Goober!

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 8:05 pm**

He gets an "A" for effort, but there's a lot of posters better at song parodies than Jay. Specifically, those that understand meter. And he does get props for not restricting himself to homo blasts this time. But he does seem obsessed with the fact that I enjoy alcohol, even though I almost never drink to excess.

But the best part about Jay is that has far as I can tell, he hasn't reproduced.

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 9:33 pm**

Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.

Posted: **Sat Oct 22, 2016 9:45 pm**

Jay in Phoenix wrote:I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

Helps him numb the pain of his underachieving hockey program.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 4:26 am**

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.

So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 4:29 am**

P.S. I have another not so common bottle of whiskey in my sights. It's time for the fall releases. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 10:47 am**

Goober McTuber wrote:

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:32 am**

Wait. GT posted a nude photo of himself on a board full of men? As a throwaway? That really happened?

I miss all of the good stuff. Fill me in: why were you there, and would you go back?

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:15 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote: So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close.

Jesus, talk about raging insecurity. Seek help.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 1:46 pm**

Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:42 pm**

trev wrote:Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

Props?

Well...at least he's not AP.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:22 pm**

KC Scott wrote: But in true Red, White and Blue form, nobody bothered to look at that when they could focus on "grab 'em by the pussy" instead

Yes, heaven forbid.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:31 pm**

KC Scott wrote:

What's funny is Trump is actually a hell of a lot closer in many policy stances to Bernie Sanders, than Hillary is.

Fat and stupid in flyover country is no way to go through life.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:10 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.
So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close.
Jesus, Goobs. Just a few more paragraphs. Where all of those where you were taking deep breaths?

Just wanted to make it easy for you to follow along.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:21 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:

Melt much Goober? Project your own insecurities much?

Epic fail dude.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:24 pm**

Jay in Kansas City wrote: IKYABWAI

Shocking.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:45 pm**

Jsc810 wrote:
I certainly get that Clinton is flawed.

Why would you wear her button so proudly?

I didn't or would not have nominated Trump. But since he isn't establishment, he will get my vote.

Hillary is a disgusting career politician that has nothing to show for herself but decades of living off the public dole.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:48 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Kansas City wrote: IKYABWAI
Shocking.

You're not going to win this one, bro.
You're just not.
It's one of those "That's fucked up/Leave it at that" occurrences that defy explanation. Save your strength for shutyomouth and live to fight another day.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:49 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:56 pm**

trev wrote:
Why would you wear her button so proudly?

Because the thrill of playing the contrarian on T1B (and .net) is the only thing Chip has to occupy his banal existence.
It's the only thing between some meagre pleasure in life...and kicking the stool out from under his feet in the garage.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:57 pm**

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:

See?

Trust me, Goobs. He can do this all day.
Just walk away.

Just walk away.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:01 pm**

I won't think any less of you if you walk this off, Goobs.

Well, 'Spray might.

...and maybe Screwey.

...well, maybe Mgo too...

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:02 pm**

...and maybe smackaholic too...but FUCK that guy, am I right?
:x

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:02 pm**

Okay...Mikey too. Probably Mikey...yeah...

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:14 pm**

Blacks for Trump.

Trump's doing really well with The Blacks.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:15 pm**

KC Scott wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:The Republicans have failed to nominate a legitimate candidate for the office, and now they are beginning to panic..
Wrong

The "republicans" wanted Jeb Bush

This one did, from day one. Hell, I would've settled for Marco or whomever

I can't and won't vote for the landfill inferno that is Trump. I've said that many times, from day one.

Neither would I vote for Hillary, not even if Jsc promised to picket an abortion clinic and KC $cott promised to quit advertising his fabulous lifestyle of the rich and famous. Fuck that noise, I still wouldn't vote for that bitch.

No matter, my life won't change in any significant manner by the outcome of this election.

We're all going straight to hell eventually, just ask 'tart.

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:46 pm**

You wanted another Bush? Asinine.

We need some new blood.

I wanted that fat guy. (Not in that way, losers)

Posted: **Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:58 pm**

trev wrote:Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

Hold up. Pause ... girl, where's the picture at? Is Goobs really as old as Wolf and Luther, or has he been holding out this whole time?

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:16 am**

Innocent Bystander wrote: where's the picture at?

Etched in my mind. Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Someone help this girl out and post the pic. I'm sure Scott has a copy stashed in his purse.

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:23 am**

trev wrote: I wanted that fat guy. (Not in that way, losers)

Someone even more incompetent and detestable than Trump. Nice going.

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:25 am**

trev wrote: Someone help this girl out and post the pic.

Oh great, now Goobs will think nasty skanks want to be molested... by him! The guy already has an ego problem.

There's this this thing called PM, take it there.

I don't want to see ball wax monkey drop trou anymore than I want Hillary elected.

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:28 am**

trev wrote: Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Older than...what?

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:57 am**

KCScott and Trev get it.

As for Herself the Cold and Joyless, she inspires a whole lot of meh among blacks...at best. The voter fraud is going to be off the charts this year.

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 1:08 am**

Innocent Bystander wrote: The voter fraud is going to be off the charts this year.

And you know this because...The Donald told you?

Lololol

Dismissed

Posted: **Wed Oct 26, 2016 1:15 am**

trev wrote:
Innocent Bystander wrote: where's the picture at?
Etched in my mind. Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Someone help this girl out and post the pic. I'm sure Scott has a copy stashed in his purse.

Goober McGrandpa

T1B

I'm voting Douche.

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