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Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:34 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Sung to "Old Man River"

Ol' man Goober,
Dat ol' man Goober
He mus' know sumpin'
But don't say nuthin',
He jes' keeps trollin'
He keeps on trollin' along.
He wax his tainter,
He buff his bottom,
An' what he's written
is soon forgotten,
But ol'man Goober,
He jes keeps postin' along.

Goober he, he sweat an' strain,
Boozin' all day' an' liver in pain,
Tote dat bourban!
Drink dat ale!
Git a lotta drunk
An' his postin' fail.
Ah gits weary
An' sick of readin'
His weak ass postin'
Like somethin' dyin',
But ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps heavin' along.

Drink all night
Drink all day,
He gon'a puke,
De drunk ass way.
Bends his knees
An' bows his head,
An' pull on 'dat bottle
Until he dead.
Let him make gay like a little sissy,
Let him go 'way from de One Board host;
He diddle dat ween called de little Goober,
Dat shrivled ween dat be so gross.

Ol' man Goober,
Dat ol' man Goober,
He sayin' sumpin'
But don't know nuthin'
He jes' keeps rollin'
He keeps on rollin' along.
He cruise dem beaches,
He take nude pictures,
An' dem dat sees 'em
Him eyes is burnin,
but ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps showin' his dong.

Tote dat whisky!
Drink dat rye!
Git hammered drunk
'Til de day he die.
He gits weary
Ah' sick of hin cryin'
Ah' tired of him postin'
An' not even tryin',
But ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps rollin' along!


Image

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 1:37 am
by Innocent Bystander
Lord, have mercy. Jay just won the internet today. That was brutal. :shock:

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 1:56 am
by Goober McTuber
I am thoroughly flattered that Gay in Phoenix spent that much time replying to me. Hard to believe that some lovely lady pathetic skank hasn't scooped him up by now.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 2:23 am
by Jay in Phoenix
:mrgreen:

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 6:52 am
by Screw_Michigan
Goober McTuber wrote:I am thoroughly flattered that Gay in Phoenix spent that much time replying to me. Hard to believe that some lovely lady innocent bystander pathetic skank hasn't scooped him up by now.
FTFY

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:45 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Papa Willie wrote:Jay just kicked you in your ball. Accept it.
You know as well as I do that Goober is in a constant state of denial.

Dishes it out, but can't take it in return.

Cheers Goober!

Image

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 8:05 pm
by Goober McTuber
He gets an "A" for effort, but there's a lot of posters better at song parodies than Jay. Specifically, those that understand meter. And he does get props for not restricting himself to homo blasts this time. But he does seem obsessed with the fact that I enjoy alcohol, even though I almost never drink to excess.

But the best part about Jay is that has far as I can tell, he hasn't reproduced.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 9:33 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 9:45 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Jay in Phoenix wrote:I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.
Helps him numb the pain of his underachieving hockey program.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 4:26 am
by Goober McTuber
Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.
So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close. :mrgreen:

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 4:29 am
by Goober McTuber
P.S. I have another not so common bottle of whiskey in my sights. It's time for the fall releases. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 10:47 am
by BSmack
Goober McTuber wrote:Image

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:32 am
by Innocent Bystander
Wait. GT posted a nude photo of himself on a board full of men? As a throwaway? That really happened?

I miss all of the good stuff. Fill me in: why were you there, and would you go back?

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:15 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Goober McTuber wrote: So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close. :mrgreen:
Jesus, talk about raging insecurity. Seek help.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 1:46 pm
by trev
Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

:grin:

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:42 pm
by Mikey
trev wrote:Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

:grin:
Props? :shock:

Well...at least he's not AP.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:22 pm
by Screw_Michigan
KC Scott wrote: But in true Red, White and Blue form, nobody bothered to look at that when they could focus on "grab 'em by the pussy" instead
Yes, heaven forbid.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:31 pm
by Mikey
KC Scott wrote:

What's funny is Trump is actually a hell of a lot closer in many policy stances to Bernie Sanders, than Hillary is.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fat and stupid in flyover country is no way to go through life.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:10 pm
by Goober McTuber
Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.
So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close. :mrgreen:
Jesus, Goobs. Just a few more paragraphs. Where all of those where you were taking deep breaths?
Just wanted to make it easy for you to follow along.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:21 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Goober McTuber wrote:Image
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Melt much Goober? Project your own insecurities much?

Epic fail dude.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:24 pm
by Goober McTuber
Jay in Kansas City wrote: IKYABWAI
Shocking. :meds:

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:45 pm
by trev
Jsc810 wrote:
I certainly get that Clinton is flawed.
Why would you wear her button so proudly?

I didn't or would not have nominated Trump. But since he isn't establishment, he will get my vote.

Hillary is a disgusting career politician that has nothing to show for herself but decades of living off the public dole.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:48 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Kansas City wrote: IKYABWAI
Shocking. :meds:

You're not going to win this one, bro.
You're just not.
It's one of those "That's fucked up/Leave it at that" occurrences that defy explanation. Save your strength for shutyomouth and live to fight another day.


Image

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:49 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Goober McTuber wrote:Image

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:56 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
trev wrote:
Why would you wear her button so proudly?
Because the thrill of playing the contrarian on T1B (and .net) is the only thing Chip has to occupy his banal existence.
It's the only thing between some meagre pleasure in life...and kicking the stool out from under his feet in the garage.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:57 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Image

See?

Trust me, Goobs. He can do this all day.
Just walk away.

Just walk away.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:01 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
I won't think any less of you if you walk this off, Goobs.

Well, 'Spray might.

...and maybe Screwey.



...well, maybe Mgo too...

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:02 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
...and maybe smackaholic too...but FUCK that guy, am I right?
:x

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:02 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Okay...Mikey too. Probably Mikey...yeah...

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:14 pm
by Mikey
Blacks for Trump.

Trump's doing really well with The Blacks.

Image

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:15 pm
by War Wagon
KC Scott wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:The Republicans have failed to nominate a legitimate candidate for the office, and now they are beginning to panic..
Wrong

The "republicans" wanted Jeb Bush
This one did, from day one. Hell, I would've settled for Marco or whomever

I can't and won't vote for the landfill inferno that is Trump. I've said that many times, from day one.

Neither would I vote for Hillary, not even if Jsc promised to picket an abortion clinic and KC $cott promised to quit advertising his fabulous lifestyle of the rich and famous. Fuck that noise, I still wouldn't vote for that bitch.

No matter, my life won't change in any significant manner by the outcome of this election.

We're all going straight to hell eventually, just ask 'tart.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:46 pm
by trev
You wanted another Bush? Asinine.

We need some new blood.

I wanted that fat guy. (Not in that way, losers)

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:58 pm
by Innocent Bystander
trev wrote:Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

:grin:
Hold up. Pause ... girl, where's the picture at? Is Goobs really as old as Wolf and Luther, or has he been holding out this whole time?

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:16 am
by trev
Innocent Bystander wrote: where's the picture at?
Etched in my mind. Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Someone help this girl out and post the pic. I'm sure Scott has a copy stashed in his purse.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:23 am
by Screw_Michigan
trev wrote: I wanted that fat guy. (Not in that way, losers)
Someone even more incompetent and detestable than Trump. Nice going.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:25 am
by War Wagon
trev wrote: Someone help this girl out and post the pic.
Oh great, now Goobs will think nasty skanks want to be molested... by him! The guy already has an ego problem.

There's this this thing called PM, take it there.

I don't want to see ball wax monkey drop trou anymore than I want Hillary elected.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:28 am
by Mikey
trev wrote: Yes, he's an older gentleman.
Older than...what?
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 12:57 am
by Innocent Bystander
KCScott and Trev get it.



As for Herself the Cold and Joyless, she inspires a whole lot of meh among blacks...at best. The voter fraud is going to be off the charts this year.

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 1:08 am
by Mikey
Innocent Bystander wrote: The voter fraud is going to be off the charts this year.
And you know this because...The Donald told you?

Lololol

Dismissed

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 1:15 am
by The Big Pickle
trev wrote:
Innocent Bystander wrote: where's the picture at?
Etched in my mind. Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Someone help this girl out and post the pic. I'm sure Scott has a copy stashed in his purse.
Image

Goober McGrandpa