Midwest Trolls...

[Dinsdale]

I'm guessing you've never been to the midwest but yet you feel informed enough to draw many false conclusions.

Given the choice between:







Or:







Where the chinook are stating to come home to, and:







Tough choice.

[Truman]

Oh, I heard it from my dad too. He told me about how he and his basketball teammates would run (not drive, but RUN) 3-5 miles home to do farm chores after school and then run back to school for basketball practice or games during the dead of winter during the 30's.

all without shoes, too!

We're talking Iowa here, Wags, not Missouri. :)

[Dinsdale]

Dumb take.

Sin,
People Who Leave Their House On An Occasion

[Truman]

Whaddya expect? It's a t-shirt sold on a Wisconsin Website.

[Q, West Coast Style]

Dumb take.

Sin,
People Who Leave Their House On An Occasion

[Mace]

I'm guessing you've never been to the midwest but yet you feel informed enough to draw many false conclusions.

Given the choice between:







Or:







Where the chinook are stating to come home to, and:







Tough choice.

Like I said, you've never been been to the midwest, have you?

[Dinsdale]

Like I said, you've never been been to the midwest, have you?

Nope... and I have no desire whatsoever, for the most part (OK, maybe "someday," after I cross a bunch of other places off the list).


Actually, in the last couple of weeks, my two buddies (brothers) who are truck drivers were actually going on their rants about the "worthless, ugly" part of the country. Iowa got mentioned by name, along with Kansas -- described as "endless expanses of ugly."


But don't fret -- you can always make the claim "at least we're not Nevada."

[Mace]

Ahh yes, the culture of Portland is so very attractive, and complete with an outdoor restaurant. :roll:



And they have recreation too....including campgrounds...errr...tent cities. NICE!





Yeah, we have a few months of winter weather....some years a little worse than others...but in many years I've played golf at least one day a month all year.

Lots of scenery and outdoor opportunities here, dins....even in the winter if you enjoy deer hunting, ice fishing, or even some snow skiing (not comparable to the mountain slopes but snow skiing all the same). Southern Iowa has enough great deer hunting to attract a lot of out of state types to the area. I once ran into Dale Earnhart Sr. (the winter before his death at Daytona) at a local department store where he was buying space heaters for the cabin where he was staying during a hunt, and he told me this was the best deer hunting area he'd ever seen. The boys from Rascal Flatts? Blake Shelton? Yeah, they hunt here too....and that's just in my county of residence.

Scenery? It may not be the mountains, but there's plenty of beautiful scenery in Iowa and the midwest. Don't believe me? Come see for yourself. I'm not saying it's "better than" Oregon or Colorado, or anywhere else, but it's nice out here too. The Wisconsin Dells are as beautiful as anything you've got in Oregon, btw, as are a number of other places out here. And, yeah, we have golf courses, lakes, parks......and even have indoor plumbin' and 'lectricity.

Culture? I didn't realize that Portland was the cultural center of the universe but the midwest has its cultural spots too. Opera? Yeah. Museums? Have you ever been to Chicago? Theatre? Oh yeah, even in Iowa. But it's okay for your type to keep flying over the midwest. Hell, we appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

[Mace]

Actually, in the last couple of weeks, my two buddies (brothers) who are truck drivers were actually going on their rants about the "worthless, ugly" part of the country. Iowa got mentioned by name, along with Kansas -- described as "endless expanses of ugly."

If they drove through Iowa on I-80, then I'd agree with them. They should make a trip through southern Iowa on hwy 2 and see if their opinions changed. Iowa is not all flat farmland, although that's the depiction most folks get, and is not like Kansas or Nebraska in that regard. Northern Iowa is flat and fertile farm land, while southern Iowa is hills, rocks, and trees. As for what I've seen of the midwest, Missouri, Wisconsin, and Minnesota are all blessed with beautiful scenery.

[Mikey]

Lawn doesn't quite need mowing yet, since it was cut nice and short around Thanksgiving. Starting to get a little shaggy. Had enough cold snaps over the last couple of months to keep it from growing nonstop all winter (which is helpful, since if there's no extended cold snaps, it just keeps growing (slowly), which kinda sucks since it's so wet, we can't traverse the lawn with the mower without it sinking in and getting dug out in spring). As long as it stays cool like this, it won't grow too fast... but it's going to warm up a bunch over the next couple of weeks, and the Saturday morning symphony of mowers will reverberate soon... soon.

I already had to mow the weeds a couple of weeks ago. Native salvias ("purple sage") and ceanothus ("California lilac") are already starting to bloom, much eariler than usual.

Prolly have to ride the mower again this weekend, not because the weeds are particularly high but I won't be able to again for awhile after surgery a week from Friday.

[Mace]

Good luck with your surgery, Mikey, and stay with the rehab so you can hop back on that mower soon.

[Screw_Michigan]

Weather threads are so fresh.

Sincerely,

Fucking nobody.

[Mikey]

Fucking nobody.

Maybe you're trying too hard.

[Mikey]

Good luck with your surgery, Mikey, and stay with the rehab so you can hop back on that mower soon.

The shit I have to pull to get a week off from work...

[War Wagon]

Weather threads are so fresh.

Nobody forced you to open this thread (heading towards page 3) or to post in it, jizzmopper.

[Truman]

Safe trip home, Wags.

Just spent the last two hours in the drive.

Not that you can tell it.

Looks like the South end of town caught the bullet, and it'll be midnight before there's any end in sight. Forty mph winds tomorrow are gonna be a cunt.

[War Wagon]

made it home from work somehow. shit's blowing sideways, I could barely make it off the street up into my driveway. Looking out my window, I can just glimpse the house that sits right across the street, visibilty is that bad.

Missouri governor has declared a state of emergency and has called up the National Guard. I heard they got I-70 shut down now from KC all the way to St. Louis. I don't know if that's ever happened, but I do know that in my 49 years, I've never seen it quite this bad.

[Truman]

Mike DeArmond blogged earlier today that the Tigers were stuck in KC. Guess they bussed over from Columbia last night to catch their flight out this morning, but Oklahoma is closed today. Might not be 'til morning before they can fly into OKC or Tulsa.

[Dinsdale]

I didn't realize that Portland was the cultural center of the universe

You sure the hell better hope not.

The show Portlandia is almost fact-based.

[Mikey]

made it home from work somehow. shit's blowing sideways, I could barely make it off the street up into my driveway. Looking out my window, I can just glimpse the house that sits right across the street, visibilty is that bad.

Missouri governor has declared a state of emergency and has called up the National Guard. I heard they got I-70 shut down now from KC all the way to St. Louis. I don't know if that's ever happened, but I do know that in my 49 years, I've never seen it quite this bad.

So, are you freaking out yet?

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Portlandia

I saw some ads for that show. Looks like they're heavily targeting the homosexual demographic. Or Oregonians.

[War Wagon]

So, are you freaking out yet?

No.

I made it home and the power is still on.

Buddy of mine from work who left at the same time I did took this pic on I-70 on his way home... before they shut it down.

[Dinsdale]

Portlandia

I saw some ads for that show. Looks like they're heavily targeting the homosexual demographic. Or Oregonians.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVmq9dq6Nsg


The opening scene pretty well sums it up -- makes caricatures of the Portland stereotypes...



but remember, the "weird" crowd ain't us... it's you people, and all the silly misfit Flyover transplants.

[Dinsdale]

Portlandia

I saw some ads for that show. Looks like they're heavily targeting the homosexual demographic.Or Oregonians.

And BTW-way to piss anyone outside of the Valley off.


All the folks in Carhartts and flannels with the huge chaw in their lip and their cousin on their arm think you suck. (Hell, you don't even need to leave the Valley for that, just get a few miles off I-5.)

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

The opening scene pretty well sums it up -- makes caricatures of the Portland stereotypes...

That was kinda funny. Some of the comments are good too:

Kinda... But the people here are too damn weird to be called just "hipsters." I've met hippies here that voted for Bush. I've seen a man with dildo gloves. I was once charged at by a guy brandishing a fork, while he screamed, "Wanna spoon with me?" I saw a Hare Krishna member marching down the street while strumming a lute.

but remember, the "weird" crowd ain't us... it's you people, and all the silly misfit Flyover transplants.

Clearly you people have cultivated an environment that is desirable to them, so you're not completely off the hook.

[Dinsdale]

Clearly you people have cultivated an environment that is desirable to them, so you're not completely off the hook.

Little did we know our "live and let live" mantra of the 60's-90's would eventually lead to becoming The Land of Misfit Midwesterners (although the U&R folks aren't immune).

Time to throw some garbage in the DeLorean and see if we can't get a do-over on that one.


Sidenote -- my latest encounter (due to oft-repeated circumstances, which I can describe if you're even more bored than making it this far would indicate) with "those people" are a couple from Pennsylvania. Same story I've seen over and over the last couple of years (since the current part-time housing situation arose) -- "where I live sucks -- let's move to **throws a dart at the map**... PORTLAND! Yeah, that place is supposed to be uber-hip."

So, they stop the research right there -- research that might have informed them that this town has the worst economy and unemployment this side of Detroit. They just pack up their shit, hop in the car, use their savings to rent a room in my OL's huge house (OK, there's the nutshell explanation), and start looking for nonexistant jobs.


Yup, that's our economy -- keep the reputation of uber-cool going, so all the misfits move here with their life's-savings, spend it while looking for said nonexistent jobs, and then pack up and move back home when the money runs out (unless Ma and Pa send "care packages" of cash). That's pretty much our cash crop these days.


I do get to meet plenty of really nice folks, though. I still have occasional contact with one from the Flyover (much time spent in Kansas and Misery, he lived here before for many years), who even helped me with some work not too long ago...


And he seems to really contradict what the defensive Flyover folks have to say.

I loved his bit about turning on the radio in Kansas to be treated to the "Three C's of Kansas Radio -- Christianity, Conservatism, and Country."


Not that we don't get plenty of douchies from elsewhere - can't swing a dead possum without hitting a Texan. The Texans and people from the big Northeast cities seem to be able to keep under the doucheradar -- the Flyovers, not so much.


The metro area has approximately doubled (or so) in population in the last 20 years or so (since the california invasion started in the mid-80's, at least).


And as far as the comments you posted -- no joke. That long haired hippy motherfucker in the old Subaru with Earth First! and Greenpeace stickers all over it is most likely an NRA member with a sawed-off 12 gauge under the seat. Plastered Obama stickers all over his ride, even though he voted for McCain. Believes in saving the environment, except when it comes to keeping his smoke-belching, oil-leaking VW camper on the road.

[War Wagon]

which I can describe if you're even more bored than making it this far would indicate

Which part of 'snowed in' didn't you get?

Describe in full Dinsdalian detail.

[smackaholic]

Lawn doesn't quite need mowing yet, since it was cut nice and short around Thanksgiving. Starting to get a little shaggy. Had enough cold snaps over the last couple of months to keep it from growing nonstop all winter (which is helpful, since if there's no extended cold snaps, it just keeps growing (slowly), which kinda sucks since it's so wet, we can't traverse the lawn with the mower without it sinking in and getting dug out in spring). As long as it stays cool like this, it won't grow too fast... but it's going to warm up a bunch over the next couple of weeks, and the Saturday morning symphony of mowers will reverberate soon... soon.

I already had to mow the weeds a couple of weeks ago. Native salvias ("purple sage") and ceanothus ("California lilac") are already starting to bloom, much eariler than usual.

Prolly have to ride the mower again this weekend, not because the weeds are particularly high but I won't be able to again for awhile after surgery a week from Friday.

I hope you die on the operating table

sin,

dude who likely won't be able to see the 3.5 ft tall picket fence in his front yard by tomorrow afternoon.

last i checked the tips of the pickets were still above the snow. doubt i'll see them again before march.

fukk you and your weeds and algore.

[smackaholic]

you know the weather is bad on I-70 when the visibility is limited to less than 2 adult book store billboards.

[War Wagon]

cockaholic made me laff.

[smackaholic]

that is the one thing that really stood out on our trip across misery on 70. i think they use them as mile markers, or should i say mile tenth markers.

[War Wagon]

They don't call us the Show Me State for nothing.

[War Wagon]

KCI is shutdown - make it 100%

I'm just bumping this thread to get it to 3 pages, hoping it pisses Screwey off.

[Smackie Chan]

I then spent 5 hours plowing my drive and one neighbor.

Did you give him a happy ending?

[War Wagon]

Good luck getting to KCI in your Tundra then.

Fill up with gas before and leave early, take it slow. The last thing I need to see is another cross near I-435 and N. Woodland right before the Super Bowl.

Wear your fucking seatbelt.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

2011 "deathstorm," as some have called it, is in full effect here. I guess I'm supposed to post a bunch of shit about how crazy windy, snowy, and icy it is outside. Except I grew up with the constant Lake Effect shit, so this stuff was basically every other week for me, give or take wind/snow/ice levels.

Basically what I'm saying is...

~yawn~

[Mace]

Good luck getting to KCI in your Tundra then.

Fill up with gas before and leave early, take it slow. The last thing I need to see is another cross near I-435 and N. Woodland right before the Super Bowl.

Wear your fucking seatbelt.

"Okay, mom."

Sin,
KC Scott

[War Wagon]

"Okay, mom."

"Okay, Dad"

I'd done a FTFY, but that's quite annoying.

Seriously, after a storm like this they get the roads clear and you think you can drive like normal, especially when you're invincible like Scott in his Tundra or Derrick Thomas in an Escalade... or me in a Jeep Cherokee Laredo when I hit that black patch of ice.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

...although I gotta say, a thunder/lightning/snow combo is quite a rarity for me.

[Carson]

We had thundersnow in The Gump back in '93.

Freaky shit.

The thunder was more of a mutter than a rolling boom.