Am I hearing things?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:05 am

...or is that the sound of hooves on T1B's snow covered roof?

Slasher · Post by **Slasher** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:15 am

Bitch better have my money

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:18 am

fuuuuuck....

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 2:33 am

Cop nuts resting on Diego's chin
Moving Sale nipping at your heels
mv hating on folks with dark skin
And Shrubber passed out in his wheels

Everybody knows a vodka or thirty-seven
Helps to make trev's season bright
Screw forced to watch "Big" with volume on high
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that poptart's on his way
He's loaded lots of links and scripture, to our dismay
And every troll and tard is gonna spy
To see if this guy really IS fucking high

So I'm offering this simple phrase
To Molly's kids from 1 to 32
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas, to you

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:58 am

I'm close enough to the North Pole to where we can smell your fucking stalls.

Better deliver this year or I'm hiring a Norwegian sled dog team to take your asses out.

Comet · Post by **Comet** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 5:15 pm

Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse, purse, purse

Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse, purse, purse

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 5:58 pm

Comet wrote:

Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse, purse, purse

Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse
Purse, purse, purse, purse, purse

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:22 pm

We three ‘tards of the One board are,
Spamming threads, from near and from far.
Poptard, M. Sale and LTS flail,
Simpering, bitching tards...

Ooh ohh.. ‘tards who blunder, ‘tards not bright,
‘Tards who like to pick dumb fights,
Flat Earth theories, Twin Tower conspiracies,
A midget in leather tights.

Born in sin, this Poptard explains,
Leads a midget ‘round on a chain,
Lying forever, ceasing never,
Nick Frisco is fakey fake…

Ooh ohh, ‘tards who chunder, ‘tards who blight,
each thread they post, night after night.
Their own ass they are kicking, their wounds they are licking,
Save us from their brain dead plight.

Common sense to offer have I.
Poptard balks, “To this is say “FIE!”
Science and truth are the things I refute,
I’m just not a logic guy.

Ooh ooh, Moving Sale and Frisco might,
Have a three way with poptard tonight,
My stomach is heaving, my lunch it is leaving,
At such a disgusting sight.

Conspiracies smell of bitter perfume
Breathes a lie from these three buffoons.
This trio is crying, bleeding and dying,
Sealed in their basement tomb.

Ooh ohh.. ‘tards who blunder, ‘tards not bright,
Three dumb fucks, can’t get one thing right.
Small egos are shattered, their lives are in tatters,
Black cocks all around tonight.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Nov 28, 2015 8:40 pm

Shit just got real. And I mean really real.

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Sat Nov 28, 2015 9:10 pm

Cucking Funts

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Sun Nov 29, 2015 11:08 pm

Up on the sidewalk Diego sticks
Out his thumb for some kiddy tricks.
He is a cop apologist,
Bends right over for some cop fist.

Ho ho ho, who would he blow,
If it's fifth grade or under it's a go.
Up on the sidewalk Diego sticks
His face in a bucket of baby dicks.

First comes his idol, Officer Bell,
his nightstick fills his ass so well.
Gives him a reamer then laughs and sighs,
grins as Diego tears his eyes.

Ho ho ho, who would he blow,
older than a teen it's touch and go.
Up on the sidewalk Diego kicks
it pedo-style as he hits the bricks.

Off come the pants of little Will,
D's premature, down his leg he spills.
But Will has a hammer and lots of tact,
gives Diego's head some swift, hard whacks.

Oh ho ho, out Diego's lights go,
falls face first into bloody snow.
Down on the sidewalk he looks sick,
still has a mouthful of baby dicks.

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 2:26 am

I'm hoping we can get Poptart in here to explain the real meaning of christmas.

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 3:33 am

2,3,1,4

-Diego

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 4:35 am

Remember when the reindeer were funny?

Yeah, me neither.

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 1:48 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:Remember when the reindeer were funny?

Yeah, me neither.

The truth hurts, huh big guy?

A lump of coal for you.

Stuff it where your cop hero nightstick resides.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 2:06 pm

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 3:23 pm

As we race about our daily lives, ever in a rush, let us take this holliday time to slow down and reflect on what we have. May we all take pause and be in the moment, smell the roses, see the sights that are now, and enjoy the present.

To that end I offer this image collage, to help set the season right . . .

Merry Christmas to all.

trev · Post by **trev** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 3:47 pm

I'm going to hell for laughing at that.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 3:54 pm

You forgot one:

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 4:18 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:Remember when the reindeer were funny?

Yeah, me neither.

Those on the receiving end of our beatings never seem to find it amusing. Imagine that!

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 4:20 pm

Hey guys, the Big Man just told me a joke.

Q: What's the hardest way to gain entry into Diego's home?

A: The backdoor. It's jammed full of cop cock.

HA!

Cupid · Post by **Cupid** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 5:50 pm

Q. How do you keep your children safe this holiday season?

A. Send Diego a bottle of Jergens and this pic.

He'll be off the streets for years

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:03 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:

Looks like you'll be getting some reindeer steaks this holiday season. Reindeer tube steaks.

trev · Post by **trev** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:23 pm

Blizten is in good smack shape this year. I'd love for Blizten to do me. But any of the reindeer will do.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:54 pm

I would give Blitzen an "A" for effort, but in his song parodies, he absolutely butchers the meter. Somewhat reminiscent of a certain gaylord in Phoenix.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:04 pm

trev wrote:Blizten is in good smack shape this year. I'd love for Blizten to do me. But any of the reindeer will do.

So you've got a thing for animals that are hung like hamsters?

Chris Christie won't be happy to hear this...

trev · Post by **trev** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:18 pm

Eeww. I knew that was coming.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:50 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:
trev wrote:Blizten is in good smack shape this year. I'd love for Blizten to do me. But any of the reindeer will do.
So you've got a thing for animals that are hung like hamsters?

Chris Christie won't be happy to hear this...

Or very happy to hear this

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 8:06 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:I would give Blitzen an "A" for effort, but in his song parodies, he absolutely butchers the meter. Somewhat reminiscent of a certain gaylord in Phoenix.

Hello Goober, please feel free to remove me from your dome.

Thanks buddy.

Merry Christmas.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:38 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:I would give Blitzen an "A" for effort, but in his song parodies, he absolutely butchers the meter. Somewhat reminiscent of a certain gaylord in Phoenix.
Hello Goober, please feel free to remove me from your dome.

Thanks buddy.

Merry Christmas.

Has nothing to do with that. Few people butcher song meter as completely as you and Blitzen. It's probably just a coincidence, but it's quite noticeable.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:13 am

Here is where I would normally say "fair enough", but I would ask you to back that up with an example.

Sure, I admit to doing an occasional song parody that stretched meter for humor, but you imply a pattern.

So Goobs, prove it. I'm okay with criticism, but you need to have your facts right.

No big deal, just calling you out on a bit of questionable b.s.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:38 am

Jayne wrote:I admit to doing an occasional song parody

They've always been very boring.

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:56 am

Reindeer don't give a fuck about meter.

And trev, you keep talking that way, and you're gonna find a nice little red rocket in your stocking this year. :o

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 3:31 am

Dasher wrote:Reindeer don't give a fuck about meter.

Neither does trev, she cares about inches.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:54 am

War Wagon wrote:
Dasher wrote:Reindeer don't give a fuck about meter.
Neither does trev, she cares about inches.

Unfortunately for the reindeer they can only offer millimeters.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:47 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Here is where I would normally say "fair enough"

Good idea, because I'm not about to waste my time sorting through your numerous insipid exchanges with flatearthtart searching for your last couple song parodies.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:54 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Good idea, because I'm not about to waste my time sorting through your numerous insipid exchanges with flatearthtart searching for your last couple song parodies.

Fair enough.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 11:19 pm

poptart wrote:
Jayne wrote:I admit to doing an occasional song parody
They've always been very boring.

As you have been poptard.

As you are so adamant on asking for photographic proof of satellites, let's turn the bullshit table around.

How about you post a real picture of the " Firmament". No sky pics, nor water, earth or air.

The actual physical Firmament. Otherwise, if you can't, retire from this pointless and stupid venture.

Or just simply, fuck off Seoul sucker.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Dec 01, 2015 11:34 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
poptart wrote:
Jayne wrote:I admit to doing an occasional song parody
They've always been very boring.
As you have been poptard.

As you are so adamant on asking for photographic proof of satellites, let's turn the bullshit table around.

How about you post a real picture of the " Firmament". No sky pics, nor water, earth or air.

The actual physical Firmament. Otherwise, if you can't, retire from this pointless and stupid venture.

Or just simply, fuck off Seoul sucker.

Please, don't tard up another thread.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 01, 2015 11:49 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
Jay in Phoenix wrote:
poptart wrote:They've always been very boring.
[IKYABWAI]As you have been poptard. [/IKYABWAI]

As you are so adamant on asking for photographic proof of satellites, let's turn the bullshit table around.

How about you post a real picture of the " Firmament". No sky pics, nor water, earth or air.

The actual physical Firmament. Otherwise, if you can't, retire from this pointless and stupid venture.

Or just simply, fuck off Seoul sucker.

Please, don't tard up another thread.

Amen.