T1B

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 12:06 am

One other thing, Gay in Phoenix. The fact that you consider the numerous exchanges between me and shutyomouth as "flirting" goes a long ways towards explaining why you're permanently single.

molly · Post by **molly** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 12:09 am

BarFlie wrote:hey, when do I get to see the twins?

I like Southwest and American.

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 12:18 am

I have a Delta app...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Oct 19, 2015 12:33 am

BarFlie wrote:I have a Delta app...

Do you get Delta flyer points for helping land aircraft with your gleaming teeth?

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:12 am

I don't wear my diamond laser dentures in public but yes you can home in on them and land a B-52 in an emergency.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:16 am

Did you really need an app for that one time you packed up all your bongs and flew to NC?

How did those get through TSA anyway?

molly · Post by **molly** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:20 am

BarFlie wrote:I have a Delta app...

I prefer SNA.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:31 am

SNA is the New York Stock Exchange ticker symbol for Snap-on Tools. You are a naughty little girl.

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:52 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Did you really need an app for that one time you packed up all your bongs and flew to NC?

How did those get through TSA anyway?

My dad was born in NC and I have some relatives still there. Immediate family relatives are living in Georgia near Atlanta (Delta's home base). I've flown many times down there mainly on holidays. Now that I live in SW NC I'm close to damn near everyone I care about. You should research a bit before opening your thoughtless mouth.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:12 am

Which relative was unlucky/unwise enough to let you flop on their couch?

Or is Uncle Sam picking up the tab on this at the Hôtel de Dryout?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 4:01 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
How did those get through TSA anyway?

Because the TSA couldn't care less about weed. And they can't confiscate it.

Actually, the TSA doesn't seem to care about much of anything -- it's all for show. I accidentally left a freaking boxcutter in my carry-on. Sharp bunch, those TSA folks.

Although the bastards went through my suitcase today.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 9:07 pm

They readily confiscate small bottles of liquor.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 9:26 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:They readily confiscate small bottles of liquor.

I haven't done it, but a friend does regularly -- as long as they're 3.5 ounces or less, and contained in a 1-quart ziplock, and removed from your bag and placed in the bin, they don't care. The FAA does, but oddly enough, the FAA and TSA have little to do with each other (way to go, Government).

And they don't "confiscate" them -- they don't confiscate anything, since by law, they can't. They give you the option of keeping them, and not getting through to the gate. Or you can surrender them, and continue on your way. If they see "suspicious objects," they contact law enforcement (which is right there on site).

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 9:36 pm

On a somewhat related note -- 6 weeks ago, when we flew to Nashville, the flight attendant came up the aisle offering coffee -- to everyone except the guy I travel with. He spoke up with "I'd like a cup of coffee"... and this cunt went off... "Don't talk to me like that!"

And that was pretty much the end of it...

or so we thought.

So, we get to the airport in Nashville, and pull into the gate, and we're told to remain in our seats. Then 4 Nashville cops come in, and hau;l him off the plane. I'm kind of freaking out (since I kind of had marijuana in my suitcase, and the bag might have been checked under his name), and got out of there ASAP.

Turns out, the cops were there for a "belligerent passenger." Except the catch was, he was sitting next to a Delta employee, who (out at the gate) told them he witnessed no such thing. They talked to a couple of other passengers in the area, who told the same story.

So, now the cops are fucking pissed. They didn't even just let him walk away -- they gave him a case number, and wanted him to file a criminal complaint against the flight attendant (something about "we've got better things to do." He hasn't persued it very far, since he's been busy as fuck, but Delta knows what happened. I see a lot of free flights in his future.

Ain't flying wonderful?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:13 pm

Dinsdale wrote: Turns out, the cops were there for a "belligerent passenger." Except the catch was, he was sitting next to a Delta employee, who (out at the gate) told them he witnessed no such thing. They talked to a couple of other passengers in the area, who told the same story.

Ain't flying wonderful?

My best friend has been a pilot for American Airlines over 15 years and told me not to piss off the air waitresses. If you give them any kind of crap they can say you are a "belligerent passenger" and report you. Then you would be put on the "No Fly" list. I've noticed on longer flights the air waitresses are 50 y/o+ and they are relatively cool. The younger ones are put on the regional jets for short hops and seem to be lazier with poor customer service.

trev · Post by **trev** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 11:38 pm

There are many warnings about bringing medical pot across state lines. Are you saying they never get enforced?

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 12:25 am

Goober McTuber wrote:One other thing, Gay in Phoenix. The fact that you consider the numerous exchanges between me and shutyomouth as "flirting" goes a long ways towards explaining why you're permanently single.

One other thing you senile idiot, the fact that you don't understand a little bit of innocent yet deserved smack, makes you a humorless, clueless asshole. Which you have been since your very first post. I am not single, just not married. This is a very important distinction. I have been with my girlfriend for over twenty-five years, just never married.

So sarcasm is beyond your senile ability to comprehend. Fair enough you fat and wrinkled old prune-skinned bore.

Lay down in the dirt of your senior nap and just die already.

But much love and respect, asshole.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:26 am

BarFlie wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Did you really need an app for that one time you packed up all your bongs and flew to NC?

How did those get through TSA anyway?
My dad was born in NC and I have some relatives still there. Immediate family relatives are living in Georgia near Atlanta (Delta's home base). I've flown many times down there mainly on holidays. Now that I live in SW NC I'm close to damn near everyone I care about. You should research a bit before opening your thoughtless mouth.

You know what I like about you, Barf? You never take anything too seriously or personally. You don't get defensive, and you have a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor that allows you to take all this smack stuff in stride.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:26 am

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:04 am

what is going on here??

:?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 3:28 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:I have been with my girlfriend for over twenty-five years

Please extend to her my deepest sympathy.

Over 25 years? How old are you?

Sorry, I would have never guessed you're clever enough for sarcasm.

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 7:07 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:You know what I like about you, Barf? You never take anything too seriously or personally. You don't get defensive, and you have a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor that allows you to take all this smack stuff in stride.

Thanks Mgo, I actually get a kick out of how people like you still live in the 10+year old smackchat world that rarely gets laffs anymore. That and the radio shows keep me coming back for more. It's like visiting a time capsule.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 9:48 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Phoenix wrote:I have been with my girlfriend for over twenty-five years
Please extend to her my deepest sympathy.

Over 25 years? How old are you?

Sorry, I would have never guessed you're clever enough for sarcasm.

How old? Much younger than you Goober, by years.

Sarcasm is a appreciated and applied from the eye of the beholder.

Your cataracts eliminate you from this, so you have my sympathy.

Go wax your nuts and go back to sleep old man.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 10:56 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Is this one of the 7 Stages of Message Board Female Flame-Outs?

1. Offer to show yer tits
2. Become angry that nobody wants to see yer tits
3. Sink into depression about unseen tits
4. Pity Party of Self-deprecating humour
5. Denial
6. etc...

Your behavioral matrix pretty much flies off the rails at #2. The drawing board is waiting...

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:33 am

BarFlie wrote:Thanks Mgo, I actually get a kick out of how people like you still live in the 10+year old smackchat world that rarely gets laffs anymore.

Well, if I can't provide laffs then I suppose kicks are the next best thing. You're welcome.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:28 am

The last year and a half I have had the pleasure of watching the TSA dog and pony show up close. It is worse than you think. The amount of gubmint money poured into this fiasco really is amazing. I am kind of ashamed that my paycheck is derived largely from this sham, but, then I go out and buy myself something nice and the shame kinda wears off. You would not believe the amount of stuff that gets handed over at the checkpoint every day. Mind boggling. And every bit of it gets shitcanned. And Dims is right, they don't give a fukk about weed. The trace detection equipment I work on is tuned to look only for explosives. We have the same equipment at prisons where they are setup to look for narcotics.

molly · Post by **molly** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 3:31 am

mvscal wrote:
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Is this one of the 7 Stages of Message Board Female Flame-Outs?

1. Offer to show yer tits
2. Become angry that nobody wants to see yer tits
3. Sink into depression about unseen tits
4. Pity Party of Self-deprecating humour
5. Denial
6. etc...

Your behavioral matrix pretty much flies off the rails at #2. The drawing board is waiting...

It would be rad if it was slightly true. I'm a happy woman.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 3:58 am

smackaholic wrote:The last year and a half I have had the pleasure of watching the TSA dog and pony show up close. It is worse than you think. The amount of gubmint money poured into this fiasco really is amazing. I am kind of ashamed that my paycheck is derived largely from this sham, but, then I go out and buy myself something nice and the shame kinda wears off. You would not believe the amount of stuff that gets handed over at the checkpoint every day. Mind boggling. And every bit of it gets shitcanned. And Dims is right, they don't give a fukk about weed. The trace detection equipment I work on is tuned to look only for explosives. We have the same equipment at prisons where they are setup to look for narcotics.

The TSA is a government jobs program. Period. Full stop.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:04 am

Left Seater wrote:
smackaholic wrote:The last year and a half I have had the pleasure of watching the TSA dog and pony show up close. It is worse than you think. The amount of gubmint money poured into this fiasco really is amazing. I am kind of ashamed that my paycheck is derived largely from this sham, but, then I go out and buy myself something nice and the shame kinda wears off. You would not believe the amount of stuff that gets handed over at the checkpoint every day. Mind boggling. And every bit of it gets shitcanned. And Dims is right, they don't give a fukk about weed. The trace detection equipment I work on is tuned to look only for explosives. We have the same equipment at prisons where they are setup to look for narcotics.
The TSA is a government jobs program. Period. Full stop.

That is the case with pretty damn near all gov agencies. Also, I have seen many TSO's use it as a vehicle to move on to better paying fed gigs. TSA is looked at as a good way to get "into the system".

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:04 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:How old? Much younger than you Goober, by years.

Really? Years? Wow, that's a lot. So how old is the jail photo? 7, 8 years? And you look to be pushing 50 then. Go ahead and lie about your age. All the ladies do.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:12 pm

Punchline in Phoenix wrote:Sarcasm is a appreciated and applied from the eye of the beholder.

Your cataracts eliminate you from this, so you have my sympathy.

You wouldn't think this is funny if you've known someone who suffered from cataracts.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 4:37 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Punchline in Phoenix wrote:Sarcasm is a appreciated and applied from the eye of the beholder.

Your cataracts eliminate you from this, so you have my sympathy.
You wouldn't think this is funny if you've known someone who suffered from cataracts.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 12:25 am

Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Phoenix wrote:How old? Much younger than you Goober, by years.
Really? Years? Wow, that's a lot. So how old is the jail photo? 7, 8 years? And you look to be pushing 50 then. Go ahead and lie about your age. All the ladies do.

Just to satisfy the fragile ego of Gobbles, that photo was taken in 2001. At that time I was pushing 39. The gray in the goatee can be attributed perhaps, to my mothers DNA, as she went completely gray in her late twenties. This was due to a condition of Scarlet Fever, but every member of my family has grayed early.

My goatee was experiencing gray infusion when I was about 35. That jail photo was taken when I was 40.

You do the math Gobbles McTubesteak. And shove your wrinkled double chin straight up your prune ass.

Much love and respect Goobs.

Now die in a cataract blinded fire, while suffering cancer of the prostate and liver failure from your alcoholism.

Hugs and knuckle bumps you senile prune. :wink:

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 2:40 am

So who's the guy with the faced blacked out?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 2:56 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:So who's the guy with the faced blacked out?

I think that was Luther in the middle from Rip City and Charger Mike on the left.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 12:40 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Go ahead and lie about your age. All the ladies do.
Just to satisfy the fragile ego of Gobbles, that photo was taken in 2001. At that time I was pushing 39.

My goatee was experiencing gray infusion when I was about 35. That jail photo was taken when I was 40.

You do the math Gobbles McTubesteak.

Well, somebody needs to do the math because it's yet another task that's obviously beyond your meager capabilities. Looks like you aged a couple of years just cobbling together that post. In other words, you're probably less than 10 years my junior, Junior. You're even older than shutyomouth.

Time to find another angle, you tedious douche.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 1:00 pm

So, which is greater?

The Jay haggard factor, or the Charger Mike homosexual factor?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 1:10 pm

Luther in blackface.

molly · Post by **molly** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 3:40 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Luther in blackface.

Yes!!!

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 22, 2015 4:32 pm

Check out the purse Gay in Phx is wearing.