Any Jaguar owners here?

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:55 pm

I'm writing a movie about one great year in a young man's life where he graduates from college, moves to Beverly hills, gets a job in commercial real estate, falls in love and makes his ultimate dream come true: he can afford his first Jaguar. If anyon here has previously owned or currently own one could you please relate your experience of first getting it the way it made you feel, etc. Thanks

bradhusker · Post by **bradhusker** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:01 pm

have you seen the new ones? The design is sleek, modern, sexy and looks like it was carved from a single piece of marble, smooth as silk.
I think the brand is now owned by FORD, but im not sure.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:03 pm

jtr wrote:I'm writing...

Well...I guess you're getting a little old to be playing "Odd-looking fat kid #3".

That gig wasn't going to last forever.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:05 pm

That sounds riveting. Have you considered outsourcing this to someone with talent?

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:07 pm

jtr wrote:I'm writing a movie about one great year in a young man's life where he makes his ultimate dream come true: he can afford his first washer & dryer. If anyone here has previously owned or currently own one could you please relate your experience of first getting it the way it made you feel, etc. Thanks

Ask Screwy in about 5 yrs.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:23 am

Ford did own jag for a stretch, but, i do believe they sold them a few years back.

Never have owned a jag, btu, used to drive quite a few back in the day when i was a valet (early 80s). Fun cars do drive. beautiful, inside and out, but junk. I do believe their recent stuff is much better.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:45 am

Why would anybody want a Jaguar? The American made ones are the biggest pieces of shit on the road.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 2:20 am

There was this girl I used to work with (not the 27 y/o) that owned one. We went to lunch one time in it and that thing had so many mechanical issues that it was embarrassing to be seen in it.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 2:28 am

Q: Why do the British like their beer warm?

A: Because their refrigerators are made by Lucas.

If you got that you might have owned a jag.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 2:52 am

In my youth, I found Jags and Corvettes to be beneficial for picking up the hot chicks......but now, I find this one to be more appropriate.....

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:22 am

Sudden Sam wrote: Tata (India) owns Jaguar now.

They're a charming bunch. Tata bought up Corus Steelworks in Redcar, shut it down when the recession hit and moved it to India, then collected hundreds of millions in 'carbon credits' from the British government.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:26 am

Why did the Brits not buy back the company? They could employ workers, build new factories, etc. I've never understood this. Labour issues within the government?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:30 am

jtr wrote:..relate your experience

The experience would be largely relegated to driving shitty rentals while your jag is in the shop. I believe the dominant emotions of Jag ownership would be frustration and shame once the (brief) initial elation wears off. Picture your fat, retarded self rolling out of the dealership stuffed into a purple Dodge Neon with horrific, stained cloth interior and your Jewfro crushed against the roof.

The only thing worse than actually owning a Jag would be the shock and horror at discovering that you were upside down on your financing and stuck with that piece of shit for the next five years.

Let me know if you need any more help writing your screenplay.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:32 am

Why did the Brits not buy back the company?

Because that would be a government handout and that's communism. Corus should have got up early in the morning and pulled itself up by its own bootstraps.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:57 am

The Seer wrote:
jtr wrote:I'm writing a movie about one great year in a young man's life where he makes his ultimate dream come true: he can afford his first washer & dryer. If anyone here has previously owned or currently own one could you please relate your experience of first getting it the way it made you feel, etc. Thanks
Ask Screwy in about 5 yrs.

You forgot the FTFY, cunt.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 4:00 am

mvscal wrote:Let me know if you need any more help writing your screenplay.

I love my Jag!

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 4:12 am

Not yet a Jag owner, but I've got my lustful eye on the Blaine Gabbert model. I think it's a keeper.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 4:25 am

Why have you been clacking out so many posts in Auto-Stupid lately? Dios mio, you have been really out doing yourself lately.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 6:54 am

According to Wikipedia they are hiring if any of you want/need a job in a British plant for land rovers " In March 2011, Jaguar Land Rover announced that it would be hiring an additional 1,500 staff at its Halewood plant, and signed over £2 billion of supply contracts with UK-based companies, to enable production of its new Range Rover Evoque model.[8][2] In September 2011, the company confirmed that it would be investing £355 million in the construction of a new engine plant at the i54 business park near Wolverhampton, central England, to manufacture a family of four-cylinder petrol and diesel engines.[9][10]"

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:06 am

According to Stupidia your initial thesis about your movie script won't do so well. [O][8][1][2].

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:52 am

nah its fiction so doesnt matter who owns the company can still aspire to own one.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:18 am

Todd gets the 1st RACK ever! hahaha

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 4:53 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:Q: Why do the British like their beer warm?

A: Because their refrigerators are made by Lucas.

If you got that you might have owned a jag.

Never owned a Jag, but used to work on auto electrics years ago... I got it.

Lucas products are what you'd expect if you took the best and brightest 8 year olds (see what I did there, Diego?), and assigned them a class project to build electrical components... while blindfolded.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 4:54 pm

I always thought that Jags were solely for women who didn't spend any of their own money on them.

bradhusker · Post by **bradhusker** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:22 pm

are mini coopers reliable? I heard that BMW took them over a few years back, so, instead of being made by the brits, they are now made by the germans, which would lead me to believe that they are now german engineered, and therefore, well made vehicles. anyone with first hand knowledge?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:25 pm

bradhusker wrote:are mini coopers reliable? I heard that BMW took them over a few years back, so, instead of being made by the brits, they are now made by the germans, which would lead me to believe that they are now german engineered, and therefore, well made vehicles. anyone with first hand knowledge?

Why would you care? You’re a big fat corn-fed tub of shit who couldn’t fit in a Mini Cooper if we fed you through a wood-chipper and poured you in a bucket at a time.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:27 pm

Papa Willie wrote:Me thinks you're exporting too much of your little mind's energy in trying to figure out where you're going to wash your next load of fucking clothes.

I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to wash my next load of fucking clothes? :? I'm gonna wash them in the laundry room, idiot.

bradhusker · Post by **bradhusker** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:43 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
bradhusker wrote:are mini coopers reliable? I heard that BMW took them over a few years back, so, instead of being made by the brits, they are now made by the germans, which would lead me to believe that they are now german engineered, and therefore, well made vehicles. anyone with first hand knowledge?
Why would you care? You’re a big fat corn-fed tub of shit who couldn’t fit in a Mini Cooper if we fed you through a wood-chipper and poured you in a bucket at a time.

yes, but cant they be retro-fitted by taking out the back seat? Because with gas prices the way they've been, im thinking of trading in my big Ford F 150 for a mini cooper type s, ive heard they are fun to drive, and handle well, and, most important, get great gas mileage.

plus, with the top down, im sure anyone could fit.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:45 pm

bradhusker wrote:and, most important, get great gas mileage.

So do mopeds. I'll bet you and your twin brother could get a deal on buying two.

bradhusker · Post by **bradhusker** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:51 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
bradhusker wrote:and, most important, get great gas mileage.
So do mopeds. I'll bet you and your twin brother could get a deal on buying two.

mopeds? isnt that what liberal queers drive? NO THANKS, I'd rather take the city bus with all the scumbag drug users and low lifes.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:13 pm

Yeah, those queer mopeds are no match for that bastion of manliness, the mini cooper.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:29 pm

Regardless, Minis are well-built cars with decent gas mileage, excellent handling and phenomenal resale value.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:45 pm

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:48 pm

bradhusker wrote:I heard that BMW took them over a few years back

"A few years back"... like in the mid-90's.

so, instead of being made by the brits, they are now made by the germans

Uh, no.

Still British.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:04 pm

That movie idea makes me think of last night's South Park...

bradhusker · Post by **bradhusker** » Fri Oct 07, 2011 5:00 am

Dinsdale wrote:
bradhusker wrote:I heard that BMW took them over a few years back
"A few years back"... like in the mid-90's.

so, instead of being made by the brits, they are now made by the germans
Uh, no.

Still British.

ummm, NO, BMW is GERMAN, got it? where did you get the idea that BMW was british?

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Oct 07, 2011 5:06 am

BMW owns MINI, yes, but the cars are designed and manufactured in Blighty, except for one model that's built in Oz.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:02 pm

Papa Willie wrote:Just from reading various consumer reports and other things over the last few years, I think I'd pass on ANY European made vehicle. Sounds like they can't build anything worth a shit right now.

Euro cars are well made and durable, but, if you can't wrench on them yourself, better going with jap or american stuff. a friend of mine has an audi a6 which he loves, but, wouldn't think of having if he needed to rely on hans at the kraut car shop.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:01 am

"Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know."

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:34 am

The train put its brakes on...