Obviously Tiger is better

Harvdog · Post by **Harvdog** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:09 pm

at the short game and not driving. It seems that Eldrick crashed his ride at 2:25 in the AM.

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:12 pm

One car accident at 2:25 AM??? No way alcohol was involved, right Tiger?

Fire hydrants do just randomly pop out of nowhere.

Harvdog · Post by **Harvdog** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:20 pm

Rack Fu wrote:One car accident at 2:25 AM??? No way alcohol was involved, right Tiger?

Fire hydrants do just randomly pop out of nowhere.

Especially in your hood.

King Crimson · Post by **King Crimson** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:23 am

lot of different ways to be fucked up other than alcohol.

first report i saw on this included the phrase "charges are pending". i hadn't heard any of that in later reports. lot of people with money invested in the Eldrick image.

I personally witnessed the networks and USGA cover up a 2 shot penalty for green damage on Eldrick disappear at the US Open at Pinehurst. Walking rules official overturned by the bigs. Tiger made the cut by 1.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:22 am

Okay, here's what happened. They were having a fight--if you call a "fight" having your insane wife attack you with a nine-iron. After being seriously struck, Tiger tries to escape, but she's on him, smashing the rear window as he tries to drive off in a daze...and he's too stunned, already bleeding and rams into the hydrant and tree. When the cops arrive momentarily, she's acting the concerned wife. He's going through some changes.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:30 am

For once, LTS TARD has produced a solid take.

... except for leaving out the part about the Jew network executives, PGA sponsors and advertising executives covering up the truth of the incident to protect their Jew investment.

I read where one PGA douchebag said, "Oh, Tiger was probably on his way out for an early morning workout when this accident happened."

At 2:25 a.m.?

Yes, he got up at 1:52, ate his bowl of Wheaties, took his shit, and then got in his rig to go ... ?somewhere? to work out at 2:25 a.m.

Hey, no doubt Eldrick is a golf workout warrior.
So if this Asian driver flub had taken place at, say, 5:07, I could maybe begin to buy into it.

But if you crash your sled in familiar territory (YOUR house) at 2:25 a.m., either booze, dope, or babe(s) (or some combination thereof) are involved.

It IS pretty hard to concentrate on driving when when your f@ce has been sliced up by an airborn blender and psych0 wife is now in the process of bashing your rear window in with a 6 iron.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 3:31 pm

is his hottie OL known to be loonie?

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:15 pm

From TMZ:
Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0YAgssyQy

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:17 pm

~yawn...can I fast forward to the moment that his wife adorns the center of Playboy?

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:27 pm

Left unanswered was where Woods was going at that hour. Greenspan and agent Mark Steinberg said there would be no comment beyond the short statement of the accident posted on Woods' Web site.

This has been an eventful holiday week for Woods. Earlier this week, stories in the tabloid National Enquirer and Star magazine alleged that Woods has had an ongoing romantic relationship with a New York woman named Rachel Uchitel. The Enquirer report alleged that the pair had had trysts in New York, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and Australia.

The New York Daily News reported in its Saturday editions that Uchitel denies any involvement with Woods, sending this message to the paper via her Facebook account: "There is NO relationship with tiger these girls quoted in the story are not being truthful."

Uchitel also denied any relationship with Woods to The Associated Press and the New York Post.

"God forbid Tiger got into a car wreck because of this false report of him having an affair," Uchitel told the Post.

"Despite it being completely untrue, it still must have certainly caused some problems at home — if I was his wife, I probably would have killed him."

"We have never had an affair, talked on the phone or sent any type of text, sexy or not," she told the Post.

"I am really upset about it because I am being portrayed as a homewrecker, when it simply isn't true."

On Friday, TMZ.com reported that "multiple law enforcement sources" said there was a dispute between Woods and his wife before the accident.

Later in the day, TMZ reported that Woods spoke "with a non-law enforcement type" and said Elin Woods confronted him about marital infidelity rumors, scratched his face during an argument and, when he got into the SUV, struck it several times with a golf club.

Rachel Uchitel

Elin Nordegren

Tiger needs a vision check

DELSDAD · Post by **DELSDAD** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:01 pm

KC Scott wrote:Rachel Uchitel

Tiger needs a vision check

He had laser correction. Maybe he just likes men.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:30 pm

No matter how gorgeous your wife, after years of banging the same broad, (unless she is extremely creative and open), you are going to get bored.

If you're Tiger, you can have any pussy in the world. Why let life slip by and not take advantage of the marvelous twist of fate and opportunity that has been provided for you?

Then again, this probably wouldn't be THE opportunity....

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:04 am

Oh my !

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:04 am

My guess is tiger has had many a stray gash, not all of them are going to be Swedish bikini models. Elin has shit a couple of rug rats and her once wonderous honey pot may well look very different than it did before. These are his prime banging years and while he is young enough to wield his pork sword at any and all hotties of the world he would be an absolute tool to not take some advantage. He hangs with the likes of M.Jordan and Barkly, not the best role models for monogomy.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:42 am

Mace wrote: Just how "bad" could this gash look?

Shallow take, very below average coming from you, and quite disappointing.

Last I checked, you were above appearance.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:43 pm

WolverineSteve wrote:My guess is tiger has had many a stray gash, not all of them are going to be Swedish bikini models. Elin has shit a couple of rug rats and her once wonderous honey pot may well look very different than it did before. These are his prime banging years and while he is young enough to wield his pork sword at any and all hotties of the world he would be an absolute tool to not take some advantage. He hangs with the likes of M.Jordan and Barkly, not the best role models for monogomy.

Apparently you're not a very good role model for monogamy either. The point is, Tiger is a married man with two kids. If he is indeed fucking around behind Elin's back, he's a first class douche.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:38 pm

BSmack wrote:
WolverineSteve wrote:My guess is tiger has had many a stray gash, not all of them are going to be Swedish bikini models. Elin has shit a couple of rug rats and her once wonderous honey pot may well look very different than it did before. These are his prime banging years and while he is young enough to wield his pork sword at any and all hotties of the world he would be an absolute tool to not take some advantage. He hangs with the likes of M.Jordan and Barkly, not the best role models for monogomy.
Apparently you're not a very good role model for monogamy either. The point is, Tiger is a married man with two kids. If he is indeed fucking around behind Elin's back, he's a heterosexual male.

ftfy.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:41 pm

BSmack wrote:
WolverineSteve wrote:My guess is tiger has had many a stray gash, not all of them are going to be Swedish bikini models. Elin has shit a couple of rug rats and her once wonderous honey pot may well look very different than it did before. These are his prime banging years and while he is young enough to wield his pork sword at any and all hotties of the world he would be an absolute tool to not take some advantage. He hangs with the likes of M.Jordan and Barkly, not the best role models for monogomy.
Apparently you're not a very good role model for monogamy either. The point is, Tiger is a married man with two kids. If he is indeed fucking around behind Elin's back, he's a first class douche.

just curious. were you for/against slicky willy being canned? what he did was lightyears beyond anything tiger is guilty of. ~~it's~~ it is not even close.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:39 pm

The notion that some woman should ever get half of Tiger, Inc., is just repulsive.

Yeah, Elin was there through thick and thin, supporting Tiger when he was just a struggling fry cook, trying to make ends meet after going to Stanford, winning majors at a record clip and already being well on his way to GOAT status before they ever hooked up. It had to be a real bear for her, glomming onto and sticking by him, doing everything she could to help create half his career earnings.

Gonna go out on a limb here, and say that were Tiger just some funky looking Cablanasian dude working at a bowling alley in Sweden his doting supermodel wife would've never given him the time of day.

Besides, while she's beautiful, and she used to be very beautiful, there's no way in hell he can't do better than her now.

:twisted:

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:00 pm

smackaholic wrote:
BSmack wrote:
WolverineSteve wrote:My guess is tiger has had many a stray gash, not all of them are going to be Swedish bikini models. Elin has shit a couple of rug rats and her once wonderous honey pot may well look very different than it did before. These are his prime banging years and while he is young enough to wield his pork sword at any and all hotties of the world he would be an absolute tool to not take some advantage. He hangs with the likes of M.Jordan and Barkly, not the best role models for monogomy.
Apparently you're not a very good role model for monogamy either. The point is, Tiger is a married man with two kids. If he is indeed fucking around behind Elin's back, he's a first class douche.
just curious. were you for/against slicky willy being canned? what he did was lightyears beyond anything tiger is guilty of. ~~it's~~ it is not even close.

I'm not for Tiger Woods being canned either. His job is entertaining me on the golf course, not being a role model for my kids.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:05 pm

smackaholic wrote:
BSmack wrote:Apparently you're not a very good role model for monogamy either. The point is, Tiger is a married man with two kids. If he is indeed fucking around behind Elin's back, he's a heterosexual male.
ftfy.

Your pathetic attempt at "fixing" my take has been noted. In the future, try working on takes that are more your speed. Maybe something by m2 would be a nice starting point?

Stanley Pickkkle · Post by **Stanley Pickkkle** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:11 pm

More black cokkk in my arse, pleasssssssssse!

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:16 pm

To the person trolling as Pikkkle: You suck at it. Stop, immediately. You're just horrible.

Stanley Pickkkle · Post by **Stanley Pickkkle** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:20 pm

Ohhhhhhhh Leon.

Stanley Pickkkle · Post by **Stanley Pickkkle** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:31 pm

NO pussy is worth that much money.

A charred flesh shaft however............

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:08 pm

Mace, how do you figure this "at least" half stuff? By what process could she ever get more than half?

Besides, there's no way in hell she would ever get anywhere near half. She'd get a ton of money, but nothing like half.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:13 pm

Mace wrote:
smackaholic wrote: just curious. were you for/against slicky willy being canned? what he did was lightyears beyond anything tiger is guilty of. ~~it's~~ it is not even close.
Actually, infidelity is infidelity, whether you're the POTUS or the world's best golfer.....none of which has anything to do with the comparison of whether Clinton should have lost his job.....unless you're saying that the PGA should suspend Tiger.

It's not really that simple. What tiger did was infidelity. End of story. Bill was guilty of infidelity, taking advantage of an underling, perjury and being an extreme dumbfukk as this chick could have been a plant or could have extorted his ass for god knows what. In bill's defense I will admit that cheating on hildebeast makes much moer sense than cheating on elin.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:18 pm

BSmack wrote: I'm not for Tiger Woods being canned either. His job is entertaining me on the golf course, not being a role model for my kids.

Yeah, and Bill's yob was running the country. Unlike hitting golfballs, such a job, first and foremost requires traits such as trustworthiness, honor and good judgement. In banging an underling, he showed he has none of the above.

Well, enough sidetracking. When the hell are we gonna get some pics of tiger's face divots?

fix · Post by **fix** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:48 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Mace wrote:but there has to be much more to the story than what's being reported.
Well, of course. They haven't even talked to the 5-0 yet.

And apparently they're not going to nor do they have to either now.

It seems the Thaicoon is gifted in the art of buying the silencing.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:24 am

Yeah, trading up from Tiger Woods, a thirty year old billionaire, I'm sure she'll get right on that.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:02 am

Jesus, aren't you just all getting your National Enquirer on tonight, there in Iowa...

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:08 am

Van, I'll play devil's advocate here.

When a man and woman enter into marriage, they are entering into a lifelong bond (such VOWS are spoken by both parties) where they are to share their lives with each other.

Share -- and they are to be faithful to each other -- so say the vows.

If one of them breaks the vow and becomes unfaithful, I'm hard pressed to find a reason who the other partner would not get half.

Basically, a man need to carefully think about what he's doing before he enters into marriage.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:29 am

poptart wrote:Van, I'll play devil's advocate here.

When a man and woman enter into marriage, they are entering into a lifelong bond (such VOWS are spoken by both parties) where they are to share their lives with each other.

Share -- and they are to be faithful to each other -- so say the vows.

If one of them breaks the vow and becomes unfaithful, I'm hard pressed to find a reason who the other partner would not get half.

Basically, a man need to carefully think about what he's doing before he enters into marriage.

Half? Half, of a billion bucks, of which she had no part in the procuring?

Lunacy. It's just pussy.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:31 am

Mace wrote:No, dumbass, trading up from a cheating piece of shit who happens to be the world's greatest golfer, a very rich man, and a bad husband.

I have no idea what it means to be great golfer or very rich, but being a 'good' husband who doesn't cheat on his wife has always been high on my priority list.

I seem to remember mouthing words to this effect:

forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Pretty corny, I know, but these are values held in high esteem in more places than Iowa.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:34 am

Van wrote:Jesus, aren't you just all getting your National Enquirer on tonight, there in Iowa...
What part of "if this story is true" do you not understand?

Mace wrote:No, dumbass, trading up from a cheating piece of shit who happens to be the world's greatest golfer, a very rich man, and a bad husband.

I see no qualifiers there, Mace. All I see there is a keening, judgmental fishwife.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:35 am

War Wagon wrote:
Mace wrote:No, dumbass, trading up from a cheating piece of shit who happens to be the world's greatest golfer, a very rich man, and a bad husband.
I have no idea what it means to be great golfer or very rich, but being a 'good' husband who doesn't cheat on his wife has always been high on my priority list.

I seem to remember mouthing words to this effect:

forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Pretty corny, I know, but these are values held in high esteem in more places than Iowa.

Chris Rock is onto you. :D

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:37 am

Van wrote:Half? Half, of a billion bucks, of which she had no part in the procuring?

If the man remains married to his wife, as he has VOWED to do, the wife essentially gets to share in half of the wealth that he gains throughout their life together, right?

So if the marriage is broken due to HIS cheating, I again am hard pressed to find a reason why the wife would not be entitled to half.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:42 am

Pretty simple: Because she hasn't earned half, by any stretch of the imagination. She had nothing to do with that wealth, other than getting to enjoy it.

If Tiger is dumb enough to lose half, well, holy fuck. No biggie, though. No way a judge is going to award her half a billion dollars.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:58 am

If you think it's ever that cut and dried, when dealing with billionaires, well, you are Mace.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:15 am

Half, bitches.

Ain't gonna happen, not with Tiger. If you think it is, well...