I would like to volunteer my services as a judge in the SO.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:28 pm

Odds:

R-Jack 4-1
mvscal 6-1
velocet 7-1
Dinsdale 10-1
Kid Nashville...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
RumpleForeskin - KFCPaul's Twinkie Intake-1

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:30 pm

KC Scott wrote:You'll need to save a lot more..........

Unless your breaking out more pics of Mt. St. Rumplewife

Don't give Rumps the wrong idea Scott. This is supposed to be a smack-off, not a flabalanche photo op.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:32 pm

One day, I am going to find it my heart to forgive all of you.

For now, fuck you.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:19 am

if dins and mvscal are the favorites to win, there must have ben a blood clot lot of defections.

Papa Willie wrote:Might be good if outsiders judged.

RACK!!!

staying gold 1
socs 0

l to r: failure, the experiment

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:28 am

Current Smack-Off Odds:

Burning Church: 2-1
Soc with Rings: 4-1
Angry Parents: 6-1
Bologna Sandwich: 25-1
Johnny Cade: 1000-1

Rootbeer wrote:I've got a brother named Sodapop!

orcinus · Post by **orcinus** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:38 am

Bace is so greasy, he glides when he walks.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:46 am

More odds:
Dmike 2:1
Kevnic 9 against 1
Windrixville 3:15
Invictus' offspring 1100000:1
TTB's steering column pick 'em

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:03 am

FLABALANCHE? That gets a FULL RACK.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:55 am

cinderella_undercover wrote:Will there be a limit in post length?

Bombastic sonofabitches.

Oh, ya.

This was a serious question, btw.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:09 am

cunt_undercover

Why the fuck would you care? Your posts never consist of anything more than one liners.

Are you planning to fluff up your image beyond the cotton candy in a sweater, fuck me in the ass and cum in my mouth porn queen we already know you to be?

Or are you hoping there's going to be a saggy tits division where you can beat down the likes of Bennish in 3 sentences or less?

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:34 am

War Wagon wrote:cunt_undercover

Why the fuck would you care? Your posts never consist of anything more than one liners.

Are you planning to fluff up your image beyond the cotton candy in a sweater, fuck me in the ass and cum in my mouth porn queen we already know you to be?

Or are you hoping there's going to be a saggy tits division where you can beat down the likes of Bennish in 3 sentences or less?

Bwah!

I've handed you your ass more times than you've had your tongue lodged in Poptart's, fuckneck.

Your "saggy tits" comments lead me to believe that you either think I'm someone I'm not, or perhaps have mistaken me for your shitbag of a wife.

I wouldn't mind you pulling my pig-tails so much if you'd scrape the corn out from under your nails before you commenced to tugging, dicksuck.

Either way, you lose.

Here's hoping that you decide, sooner rather than later, to take a page outta my notebook and stick to "one liners".

You're the goddamn board joke, mang.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:42 am

Save yourself the trouble, dude.

I'll hide myself in a fucking salad, if I have to.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:43 am

That's it girl. I slap your sweet cheeks, and you squeal BODE.

Congrats on stringing more than 3 sentences together.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:53 am

I didn't have to, guy.

You were finished before you started.

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:45 am

Bizzarofelice wrote:TTB's steering column pick 'em

My car has a much better chance than your acne.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:42 pm

cinderella_undercover wrote:I'll hide myself in a fucking salad, if I have to.

Nice

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:28 pm

cinderella_undercover wrote:I'll hide myself in a fucking salad, if I have to.

Rack.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:34 pm

Papa Willie wrote:I'm not going to be in it. I don't smack - I just bore the fuck out of everybody.

FTFY

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:59 pm

cinderella_undercover wrote:I'll hide myself in a fucking salad, if I have to.

Oh, SNAP!

SaladTosser · Post by **SaladTosser** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:53 pm

cinderella_undercover wrote:I'll hide myself in a fucking salad, if I have to.

Fucking awesome.

SaladTosser · Post by **SaladTosser** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:55 pm

KC Scott wrote:Mr. Tosser,

Although you did not see fit to comply with the application process, the review committee will consider the recommendation made by The troll formerly known as HillBilly Jim.

Judgement of smack is highly subjective. As such, we need an example of something you find humor in. Please provide no less than 3 posts / and or examples of wildly humorous subject matter so we can properly evaluate your worthiness for this position.

Failure to meet this criteria will result in your removal from the consideration process.

Regards,

Management

I'm not gonna dance for you, guy. I'm fucking SaladTosser.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:59 pm

SaladTosser wrote:I'm not gonna dance for you, guy. I'm fucking SaladTosser.

I guess that explains how you got his password.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:01 pm

SaladTosser wrote: I'm not gonna dance for you, guy. I'm fucking SaladTosser.

That's all well and good, but for all we know you could be Salad Shooter, Salad Bar or Roseanne Barr.
Judging requires cognitive reasoning, cooperation and a certain adherence to basic rules and guidlines.
Thus far you have exhibited none of these attributes.

You've given no reason to consider you as a judge, other than your stated desire to be one.

We have many worthy applicants. Most had the good sense to submit their application in strict confidentiality.
You chose to publicize yours, for motives as still unknown.
The other applicants complied with our minimal requests, while you chosen to disregard same.

I'm sorry, but based on these factors it's the recommendation of the board you be dropped from consideration.
Feel free to participate, or preferably observe, the proceedings though and enjoy your stay at The One Board.

Management.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:07 pm

KC Scott wrote:The other applicants complied with our minimal requests, while you chosen to disregard same.

So he's a rebel, a renegade, a free spirit. I like that in a judge.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:29 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:So he's a rebel, a renegade, a free spirit. I like that in a judge.

Yeah, maybe.

But you could say the same thing about Richard Simmons.

And you wouldn't want him judging your smack off...would you?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:33 pm

Papa Willie wrote:White haired freak.

Thanks, mang.

SaladTosser · Post by **SaladTosser** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:34 pm

KC Scott wrote:
SaladTosser wrote: I'm not gonna dance for you, guy. I'm fucking SaladTosser.
That's all well and good, but for all we know you could be Salad Shooter, Salad Bar or Roseanne Barr.
Judging requires cognitive reasoning, cooperation and a certain adherence to basic rules and guidlines.
Thus far you have exhibited none of these attributes.

You've given no reason to consider you as a judge, other than your stated desire to be one.

We have many worthy applicants. Most had the good sense to submit their application in strict confidentiality.
You chose to publicize yours, for motives as still unknown.
The other applicants complied with our minimal requests, while you chosen to disregard same.

I'm sorry, but based on these factors it's the recommendation of the board you be dropped from consideration.
Feel free to participate, or preferably observe, the proceedings though and enjoy your stay at The One Board.

Management.

Are you tr00ling me, or are you like really in charge of this? Are you like the Magicat here, dog?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:40 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:So he's a rebel, a renegade, a free spirit. I like that in a judge.
Yeah, maybe.

But you could say the same thing about Richard Simmons.

And you wouldn't want him judging your smack off...would you?

Frankly, my give-a-shit factor concerning anything smackoff-related barely registers, since a) I'm not participating, b) if I did participate, I'd have zero chance of winning even if I were among the judges, and c) I doubt the panel of judges chosen will meet with everyone's approval, regardless of who they are. Richard Simmons could probably do as well as whoever will be the judges.

I'm just padding my post total.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:42 pm

SaladTosser wrote:Are you like the Magicat here, dog?

You're asking if a dog is a cat? Might as well ask if a wolf is a bird.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:12 pm

Scott,

Couldn't you just write ST's essay for him?

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:24 pm

SaladTosser wrote:
Are you tr00ling me, or are you like really in charge of this? Are you like the Magicat here, dog?

This matter is closed per my previous communication.

Feel free to participate, or preferably observe, the proceedings and enjoy your stay at The One Board.

SaladTosser · Post by **SaladTosser** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:29 pm

KC Scott wrote:
SaladTosser wrote:
Are you tr00ling me, or are you like really in charge of this? Are you like the Magicat here, dog?
This matter is closed per my previous communication.

Feel free to participate, or preferably observe, the proceedings and enjoy your stay at The One Board.

Oh, so you're more like TheArtist of this place.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:33 pm

I hope you don't like your job.

SaladTosser · Post by **SaladTosser** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:35 pm

Me, sugartits? :?

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:36 pm

cinderella_undercover wrote:I hope you don't like your job.

Thats a given.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:40 pm

What did I fucking tell you?

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:42 pm

I'm a slow learner.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:54 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:White haired freak.
Thanks, mang.

Us white-haired fuckers never die - we just rule the fukkin' world.

My gratitude was more for the "freak" part. I'm especially proud of that.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:58 am

Please remove my name from the blah blah blah whatever. Fuck volunteers, we need a draft. One, two, three, not it!

Moorese · Post by **Moorese** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:21 pm

SaladTosser wrote:
Oh, and for the record, I would fuck that 8 ways til Sunday.

There's a finite window for the pleasurable savaging of addicts. You should be good until around Sunday when her hair comes out in clumps and your handholds disappear.