Worst song ever recorded

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:41 pm

Brandy - Looking Glass
Tie a Yellow Ribbon - Tony Orlando
Doctor My Eyes - Jackson Brown
Hotel California - Eagles
Solid as a Rock - Ashford and Simpson
Muskrat Love - America
Afternoon Delight - Starberry Mulligan Band or sumpthing
Island Girl - Elton John
Physical - Olivia Newton John
Hit Me With Your Best Shot (or anything else by...) - Pat Benatar
Dust in the Wind - Kansas
Mony Mony - Billy Idol
Jet - Paul McCartney and Wings
You Say It's Your Birthday - Beatles

-a million others...

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:45 pm

If you ever disparage America again Fes, I will fight you.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:53 pm

An admission:

I have an old America cassette tape that I STILL listen to.

I put up with lyrics like:

"-for there 'aint no one for to give ya no fame."

and

"He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that's abandoned."

I love the guitar part at the start of "Ventura Highway."

But sorry, I can't do "Muskrat Love."

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:57 pm

Muskrat Suzy, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land
And they shimmy
That Sammy's so skinny
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singing and jingling that jango
Floating like the heavens above
Looks like Muskrat looo-ooo-oooove!

I suppose a pile-on will ensue if I admit that I didn't have to look that up.

With America, you just have to bear in mind that "it's the thought that counts."

Sister Golden Hair is one of the great drunk-sing-alongs ever.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:00 pm

I believe these guys also recorded Muskrat Love.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:02 pm

" Go all the Way" by the Raspberry's....

Rack Dins post on listening to anything that will make a chick take her clothes off... and for that reason Kokomo works also, as does anything from Top Gun.

All these groups do some shit music... Americas Muskrat love does suck... but you can play Sister Golden hair ALL on the second fret...being high listening to Horse will help you understand it better too...

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:03 pm

Someone asked a friend of mine if she was going to the Billy Joel concert.

She responded, "Only if I can bring a high-powered rifle."

I laughed.

Something about Davey in the Navy really set her off.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:08 pm

Piano Man is also a great drunk-sing-along.

Doesn't make it a good song, but takes on a form of acceptability when a whole var full of drunk losers sing it out of tune.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:14 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:Someone asked a friend of mine if she was going to the Billy Joel concert.

She responded, "Only if I can bring a high-powered rifle."

I laughed.

Something about Davey in the Navy really set her off.

Way back in the day.....this chick I had dated a couple of times wanted to see Billy Joel... 2 tickets, a dinner, a half gram of coke got me some of the tightest pussy I ever had... and kept banging it for a couple of months.

The concert sucked, but small price to pay for some great fucking.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:23 pm

Derron wrote:Way back in the day.....this chick I had dated a couple of times wanted to see Billy Joel... 2 tickets, a dinner, a half gram of coke got me some of the tightest pussy I ever had... and kept banging it for a couple of months.

The concert sucked, but small price to pay for some great fucking.

You think that's bad? I had a girl drag me to some "Summer Jam" concert featuring 2 former members of New Kids on the Block, Sixpence None The Richer, Shaggy and 98 Degrees. The tickets were free and they still weren't worth it. Easily the single worst concert I've ever attended. It made my previous worst concert ever (The Romantics, Red Rider and Orion the Hunter) seem like seeing Led Zeppelin by comparison.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:31 pm

BSmack wrote:
Derron wrote:Way back in the day.....this chick I had dated a couple of times wanted to see Billy Joel... 2 tickets, a dinner, a half gram of coke got me some of the tightest pussy I ever had... and kept banging it for a couple of months.

The concert sucked, but small price to pay for some great fucking.
You think that's bad? I had a girl drag me to some "Summer Jam" concert featuring 2 former members of New Kids on the Block, Sixpence None The Richer, Shaggy and 98 Degrees. The tickets were free and they still weren't worth it. Easily the single worst concert I've ever attended. It made my previous worst concert ever (The Romantics, Red Rider and Orion the Hunter) seem like seeing Led Zeppelin by comparison.

So you let a chick drag you to a BAD FREE concert and no pussy out of it ??

A roomate gave me and the other roomate tickets to a YES concert to get us out of the hosue so he could fuck this chick on the dining room table. He also gave us a gram of coke as well.

We went, snorted half the coke and smoked a bunch of weed.. and watched John Anderson prance around in a nightgown displaying his best faggot tendencies. We left and went and played pool the rest of the night. It was truly horrible.

velocet · Post by **velocet** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:31 pm

I'd rather listen to anything listed in this thread than any rap.

velocet

Husker4ever · Post by **Husker4ever** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:38 pm

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:"American Pie" by Don McLean. Wretched piece of garbage with pseudo-profound "secret codes" that hypnotizes drunk idiots with room-temperature IQ's to sing along. Don McLean should be beaten with a pool cue just for vomiting this song and "Vincent" into the world.

"Paradise By The Dashboard Lights." Meatloaf is should have listened to Dean Wormer ("Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son"). Another of those moron-magnet songs that calls to the chromosomally-challenged and induces them to sing along.

There should be a law against either of those songs being sung in karaoke bars. It's always the same......4 drunk bitches sharing two mics held 3 feet away whilst they scream the lyrics and rock back and forth and giggle more than actually sing. Get the fuck off the stage....now. 8 minute renditions of abortions of a song butchered by 3 skanks and the mandatory fat friend warrant death by firing squad for them and the DJ who didn't "lose" their song request slip.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:51 pm

Derron wrote:So you let a chick drag you to a BAD FREE concert and no pussy out of it ??

On the contrary, I got plenty of tail out of that deal. Both before AND after that concert. She was the last real freak I dated before settling down. Going to the concert was a way to try to get at her equally freaky sister who went with us. Sadly, that never happened. But already having one in the bag made it a chance worth taking.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:52 pm

I also got dragged to see "The Romantics" in concert. :)

Everyone was waiting around for them to play "What I Like About You" so we could all go home.

And I'll take Don McLean any day over Billy Joel. After all, Don plays the banjo and I can't go against one of my own kind.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:07 pm

BSmack wrote:
Derron wrote:So you let a chick drag you to a BAD FREE concert and no pussy out of it ??
On the contrary, I got plenty of tail out of that deal. Both before AND after that concert. She was the last real freak I dated before settling down. Going to the concert was a way to try to get at her equally freaky sister who went with us. Sadly, that never happened. But already having one in the bag made it a chance worth taking.

Ahhh rack sister sex when possible....I have been fortunate to have known the pleasures of 3 sets of sisters. I can die complete now.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:54 pm

R-Jack wrote:
Uncle Fester wrote:Hotel California - Eagles
I will kick you in the teeth with a knife taped to my steel toe boots.

Ah c'mon, that turgid, ponderous dirge is easily one of the most overrated songs of all time. It's only a "classic" because the radio borgs drilled it into your skull about 3000 times per hour. Gawd, the stupid thing is practically embedded in our DNA.

The Eagles were a thousand times better back in the Bernie Leadon days.

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:11 am

Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy (written by Rick James, bitch!)

What do I win?

Mississippi Neck · Post by **Mississippi Neck** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:15 am

BSmack wrote:I believe these guys also recorded Muskrat Love.

Geez that facelift makes Tenille look like the Joker with a sex change...

rozy · Post by **rozy** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:17 am

Dinsdale wrote:Oh, and unRACK the lot of you for letting this thread get this far without a mention of Achey Breaky Heart. So bad, it created a haircut fad in the South.

Dammit, I just now opened the thread and would have typed that if you wouldn't have JUMPED THE FREAKING GUN. Let a brothah read a thread once a week BEFORE you bust out the unracks. Now I've lost interest in the rest of the thread.

Douchebag...

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:05 am

Love Shack.

Game over.

NoCal Snowgirl · Post by **NoCal Snowgirl** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:14 am

That "What I am" song by Eddie Brickell or whatever her name is was prety lame. Still to this day if I hear it makes me want to beat the crap out of someone.

Husker4ever · Post by **Husker4ever** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 6:04 am

Bob Saeger's "Old Time Rock N Roll" A 40 year ban on airplay and it might be good again. "End of the Road" is another example of a song killed by overexposure.

Dancer · Post by **Dancer** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 6:26 am

R-Jack wrote:
Derron wrote:Ahhh rack sister sex when possible....I have been fortunate to have known the pleasures of 3 sets of sisters. I can die complete now.
You have a big family.

Rack!

quacker backer · Post by **quacker backer** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:52 pm

I cant believe nobody has mentioned "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. That skank must have slept with a lot of people to get that horrid screetchfest on vinyl....

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:59 pm

quacker backer wrote:I cant believe nobody has mentioned "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.

http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=2801

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:19 pm

Ahhh, the '70s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8pse9Gixh4

"The Jump" :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_43AfrNznyA

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:29 pm

Husker4ever wrote:Bob Seger's "Like a Rock." A 40-year ban on airplay and it still will have been played into the ground.

Fixed. And thanks, Chevrolet/corporate asshats.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:33 pm

We'll eventually usurp Seger's place in car commercials.

Sin,
The Dandy Warhols

Husker4ever · Post by **Husker4ever** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 11:12 pm

RadioFan wrote:
Husker4ever wrote:Bob Seger's "Like a Rock." A 40-year ban on airplay and it still will have been played into the ground.
Fixed. And thanks, Chevrolet/corporate asshats.

Ahhh, how could I forget that one. Got that shit right...a good song ruined forever. On the flip side of that, the song "Tainted Love" had a revival thanks to being used in a commercial....probably cause it didn't air 80,345 times in 3 months.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 3:03 am

Lotta Bad songs, Here's some more:

Convoy - I don't know who the hell sang it, but one summer when I was a kid it was played every 15 fucking minutes.
My old man made me listen to 61 country here in KC, and it was at that time I began to devise a plot to blow up that fucking radio station if I ever got close to it.

Maneater - Hall & Oates, I worked in a camelot records one summer during high school and the idiot manager thought he was one of them.. the white one. He played that fucking record every day. When I finally quit I saw him at a party that fall and kicked his ass in the driveway. Don't remember why, but looking back I'm sure it had something to do with that song.

Anything by Duran Duran, Flock of Seagles, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Billy Idol and whoever sang You dropped a bomb on me and rock the kazbar or any of that other 80's dance trash. I Dj'd and worked the door at a dive in Independence and this shit was rotated every hour. Nothing like drunk ass necks, cranked out freaks and Fat ass Pat Benatar wannabes all playing human fucking pinball on a 20x20 while "Relax, Don't Do it" is pounding out at 8000 decibles.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:34 am

KC Scott wrote:Convoy

C.W. McCall (real name Bill Fries, which he should probably have used, in retrospect.)

When I was 11, I used to rollerskate to that song in my basement in Wisconsin in the middle of winter. Bwah.

They still play that song every once in a while on Coast to Coast AM. I crack up every time, especially at how that freak sings it so seriously.

No way that song even makes my top 100 as far as the suck meter goes though, Scott. (Hey, to some here, that shit is rap, yo.)

Perhaps you and Lionel Richie should get aquainted.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:37 am

Toddowen wrote:I've never met anyone that could pronounce my name and cause such a screeching revoltion in my every nerve as if styrofoam was being rubbed against a blackboard.

A pity. Makes you want to kill yourself doesn't it?

It's OK, everyone understands. Do it for her, but most of all, do it for you.

Cross Traffic · Post by **Cross Traffic** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:57 am

Bad Day by Daniel Powter, that song is for fruits.

RedHerring · Post by **RedHerring** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:06 am

Uncle Fester wrote:Ahhh, the '70s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8pse9Gixh4

"The Jump" :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_43AfrNznyA

Damn You All!!! Leave it to you bringing back all the surreal & nasty 70's music flashbacks ... But you inspired me to lower depths, my sister loved these horrid Bucktoothed mutants:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyRiNZDb5EY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZkSHrEKnaE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvrtWZIpzTI

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:26 am

Get down, boogie oogie oogie

Get down, boogie oogie oogie

Get down, boogie oogie oogie

Get down

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:46 pm

[quote="RedHerringDamn You All!!! Leave it to you bringing back all the surreal & nasty 70's music flashbacks ... But you inspired me to lower depths, my sister loved these horrid Bucktoothed mutants:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyRiNZDb5EY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZkSHrEKnaE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvrtWZIpzTI[/quote]

Good gawd, I got through the first one, but with severe damage to my ears, head, and nerves.

So who wins in the dance gay-off, Greg Brady or that Osmond dude convulsing during the "Crazy Horse" chorus?

Dancer · Post by **Dancer** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:53 pm

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

I hate that fuckin' song. Like we weren't shit before he showed up.

L45B · Post by **L45B** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 7:20 pm

Yeah, "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me" is pretty disturbing as well.

KatMode · Post by **KatMode** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 7:49 pm

Dinsdale wrote:If anyone thinks they can name a worse song...

How about the worst POS Disney song EVAH:

It's a Small World

If anyone can make it through that song without sticking a knife in their brain, kudos to you.