spam Fucks Thread

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Post by Mikey » Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:52 am

I figured I'd better post this now because I finally got back down to my pre-Thanksgiving weight. I may go back up again this week. I'll try to hold off on the beer, but I don't think I can pass up the baked potato that I'm going to be fixing along with the prime rib an Caesar salad on Tuedsay.


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Post by smackaholic » Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:23 pm

Looks like you ate purty good on turkey day. Also looks like you'll see the other side of 230 before me, you fukker. Although I am in the early stages of a nasty chest cold. Maybe I can work it up to pneumonia or something that will allow me to puke my way down to about two and a quarter.

Or maybe I can just stop making excuses to climb on that fukking gerbil wheel excercise bike.

Ofcourse if I was in local, I'd break out the real bike.

I hate you fair weather faggits!!!
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Post by BSmack » Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:50 pm

I'm just happy to maintain my weight and add a little muscle mass until New Years. I'm treating the holidays the way bodybuilders treat their bulking cycles. Only without those pesky steroids. But after New Years it's no holds barred to get that weight off. By this summer I'd like to enter a 5k run and not kill myself while attempting it.

Well, off to the basement for some cardio and arm workouts.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by PSUFAN » Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:51 am

Unless you're built like Mt. Rumplewife, getting ready for a 5K by summer should be a pretty easy endeavor.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Dinsdale » Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:48 pm

I'm busting up laughing at the very idea someone needs to train rigirously for months on end to run three freaking miles.

Fucking priceless.

But if it makes you spam fucks feel any better, the Dreary Sussy Season has me up over 190(although it's possible the scale in question was whack). Of course, I'm probably taller and broader than most of you 230+ blobs, but then again, I'm not a spam fucking loser.

Can you people even walk to the fridge without huffing and puffing? Jeebus.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:55 pm

I am a tubby fukk and even I have to laugh at the thought of needing to train for a short jog. But then, I do run well....for a spam old fukk.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by BSmack » Mon Dec 24, 2007 3:22 pm

smackaholic wrote:I am a tubby fukk and even I have to laugh at the thought of needing to train for a short jog. But then, I do run well....for a spam old fukk.
How are those knees doing?

As for Dinsdale, I'm having a real hard time envisioning a chronic weed and cigarette smoker busting off a 5k before hacking up a lung.

Let's just say that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Last I checked, you probably don't need to train for a 100 meter run either. But that didn't stop Carl Lewis. Fitness is all about setting goals and going for them.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Mon Dec 24, 2007 4:59 pm

BSmack wrote:
smackaholic wrote:I am a tubby fukk and even I have to laugh at the thought of needing to train for a short jog. But then, I do run well....for a spam old fukk.
How are those knees doing?

As for Dinsdale, I'm having a real hard time envisioning a chronic weed and cigarette smoker busting off a 5k before hacking up a lung.

Let's just say that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Last I checked, you probably don't need to train for a 100 meter run either. But that didn't stop Carl Lewis. Fitness is all about setting goals and going for them.
my knees have been pretty good, since I decided to stop pulverizing them with running. i still do the monday night old guys bball thing at the junior high and they stand up to that pretty wel as long as I call it quits after a few hours.

still think i could break off a 5k on them, possibly come in under a half hour as well, which ain't so bad...for an old spam fukk.

what kinda times you looking for or is survival the only goal?
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Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by BSmack » Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:55 pm

smackaholic wrote:my knees have been pretty good, since I decided to stop pulverizing them with running. i still do the monday night old guys bball thing at the junior high and they stand up to that pretty wel as long as I call it quits after a few hours.

still think i could break off a 5k on them, possibly come in under a half hour as well, which ain't so bad...for an old spam fukk.

what kinda times you looking for or is survival the only goal?
I haven't even started thinking about times yet. I probably won't until winter is over and I can get out and hit the bricks a few times. During the winter I'll be doing bicycle and steep grade treadmill training for all of my cardio training with the idea of getting out this spring and tackling a 10k course I used to run with my HS football team. We used to call it the "gut run" and it's not too far from where I live. Once I train on that a few times, I'll have an idea what kind of time I can shoot for in the local 5k race this July. My plan is to use lower impact cardio to establish fitness and to use occasional road training to gauge the results of my daily cardio training.

Of course, the other side of the equation is diet. That will initially consist of a 60-20-20 split between proteins, carbs and fats taken 6 times a day. Once spring hits, and I start riding and running greater distances, I may up the spam content to 30% and drop the proteins to 50%. But I'll wait and see. And there will be no more Friday night trips to the pub for the foreseeable future after New Year's Eve.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Goober McTuber » Thu Dec 27, 2007 8:00 pm

Hopefully you'll soon resemble Chris Farley, you spam fucking drunken pedophile.
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Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Dinsdale » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:04 pm

Holiday update...

I'm still not a spam fuck.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:22 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Holiday update...

I'm still not a spam fuck.
Dumbfuckery is just as fucked up as fatfuckery.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Fri Dec 28, 2007 6:07 pm

Worse, actually.

There ain't no Dr Atkins for stupid.
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Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by indyfrisco » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:49 pm

There ain't no Dr. Atkins either.
Goober McTuber wrote:One last post...

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by trev » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:02 pm

dins is like 6'0 something with a 32 inch waist.

Unrack that.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Dinsdale » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:54 pm

Haven't checked, but it might be pushing almost 33, on the long side of 6'1".
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:02 am

Methedrine will do that...

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by OCmike » Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:11 am

dins is like 6'0 something with a 32 inch waist.
There's nothing gayer than a guy from the U&L with a narrow waist. Joey Harrington out front should have told you...

Allow me to join the spam fuck's thread. I know...shocker.

The BMI gimmick is out the window for me as well. I'm one of those guys that's got a naturally stocky, muscular physique and can retain a lot of definition (especially in my legs) without ever working out. Of course, a lot of this is due to the weightlifting and sports that I played up through my twenties, but a lot is also due to genetics.

Prime weight for me (I'm 6'0"), which I haven't seen since about 2000, is about 215. According to the BMI, charts, etc, I should weight around 185. Yeah, okay.:lol: I'd look like a freaking cartoon character at that weight.

Where was I...Oh yeah. About two years ago I was put on a medication with a "slight risk of weight gain". After six months I had gained 50 fucking pounds. I told the doctor I was going off the medication as any benefit I might be getting from it was more than outweighed by ending up looking like KFCPaul. Slight risk of weight gain, my ass! Add to that the left ankle stabilization surgery I had (involving drilling of bones, snipping of tendons, etc) in 2003, left ankle nerve release surgery in 2004, right knee scope and osteochondroma surgery (where they had to split the quadriceps muscle) in 2005, and physically I was a mess, meaning exercise wasn't an option.

Up until I shredded my ankle resulting in the surgeries, I exercised regularly, playing racquetball twice a week and rollerblading 10 miles three times a week. Rollerblading is extremely gay, but my left ankle was already a mess due to years of strains and sprains, so running wasn't an option. RB'ing kept it low impact for me and made it so that I could get some quality cardio. I could generally play racquetball for about an hour before the pounding on my bad stick made me call it a day.

So after being a 6'0" 270lb spam fuck for about a year and a half, I decided that I had had enough and joined a local gym this past Sept. I started out doing light cardio on the bike and treadmill, but quickly found that even though it had been almost four years since my reconstructive surgery, my ankle just couldn't take that much action.

I still wanted to lose the weight, so I decided to cut way back on my caloric intake. I had always had a fairly healthy diet, I just ate portions that were large. This goes back to my days of regular exercise, when I *needed* that many calories to fuel the engine. It ended up being a hard habit to break. When I first began cutting back on calories, I was hungry all the fucking time. I felt like I was starving from about 9AM until lunch and from about 2PM until dinner. I eventually found that drinking a shitload of water throughout the day helped a lot with this.

It's now roughly five months later and I'm down 20 lbs to 250. Not fantastic, but not too bad either. After not being able to get into them for a few years, just six months ago I was contemplating giving my old Levis and shorts to Goodwill, but I can now fit back into them. Woo hoo! That alone is better than anything a scale might tell me. I know it'll be almost impossible for me to get down to 215 again, since I was exercising so regulary to maintain that weight, but I'm shooting for 220-225lbs. So I've got another 25lbs to go, and since dietary changes are the slow route to weight loss, I'm figuring it'll take at least another six months.

Another reason I had for losing weight and improving my diet is that my Mother's family's stellar cholesterol chickens have finally come home to roost. After years of having normal readings, a blood test that I had done in Sept showed that my cholesterol readings were off the charts. The doc vamped another blood sample out of me a month ago and confirmed those findings. My cholesterol is 286 and my triglycerides were too high too measure. Um...that's not good. Worst part about it is that even when I was an ultra spam fuck at 270, I didn't have a high cholesterol diet. My doctor wants me on cholesterol meds immediately, but I'm going to attempt to control it with diet for a year or so and see where that gets me. My mom had a severe stroke at 50 due at least in part to runaway cholesterol levels even though she was on meds, so at age 36 this isn't something I'm going to experiment with for long.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by RadioFan » Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:08 am

So this is how non-smokers/reformed smokers spend their time?

Fascinating. And truely insightful.

Carry on, fatasses.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by OCmike » Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:00 pm

RadioFan wrote:So this is how non-smokers/reformed smokers spend their time?

Fascinating. And truely insightful.

Carry on, fatasses.
You're just getting worried because you know that the sexier I get, the less chance you're going to have at prime tail. :D
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by OCmike » Tue May 20, 2008 1:07 am

Okay, why the fuck is my post still the most current in this thread almost three months later?! Either unsticky this bitch or give a fatass update. Jeebus, you're making it look like I'm the only fucker who ever packed on a few extra lbs around here. (Psst...down another ten)
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Tue May 20, 2008 11:46 am

OK OK I'll nut up and weigh myself today. As usual other things have gotten in the way of concentrating on weight loss.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:02 am

Other things got in the way?

Bullshit.

You're just a lazy spam fuck. And you know the sayin' , takes one to know one. Well, that officially qualifies me as knowing you as one.

But, there's hope. And, ofcourse, Bush and Cheney are to blame.

Remember when I bought a bike last year from a dude at work. Well, now I bought another dude at work's bike, but this one is even cooler. It is also a trek, but, this one actually fits me properly and it's Al-lum-mineeum and it's got them way cool brake lever shifter deals. I look like a bloated lance armstrong on that thing.

Well, I been riding this thing to work a few days a week. 12+ miles each way and up hill both ways! I am still a spam ass, about 235, down from 240+ a few weeks ago. But, the wind is improving and the legs are feeling better every day. Unlike last year when I quit due to morning/evening ride darkness, I have decided to get some lights and ride this mo fo damn near year around. I have also discovered a better route which should help keep me from getting dead.

It is absolutely amazing how much better you feel all day long after 45 minutes pedaling your ass off in the morning. And I will feel even better when I get back down to the other side of 2 bills. Haven't seen that weight since the last bush was in office, but, I can guaran god damn tee you that I will so long as gas stays at 4+ bucks a gallon and I don't get runned down by some fukker in a buick.

Mikey, you should try this. And you live in the nice weather capital of the universe, so you got no excuse. If I can pedal in 96 degree humidity or 28 degree cold, you can do it in 70-80 somethin' niceness.

We all know you ain't gonna get there dieting, you glutonous hippy, so start pedaling.
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Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:54 pm

I got down to 230 and then around the beginning of May my left hip got all sore and stuff. I thought it was arthritis, but I went to an orthopedic surgeon who took some pics and said that my left hip looked better than my right one.

So, I figured it was prolly some manifestation of my lower back problems. A couple more weeks and I went in to my primary and he said I had hip flexor tendonitis. Whatever it is, it's really fucked up. I've been hobbling around for almost 6 weeks and trying to stay off it as much as possible. No exercise has gotten me back up to 238 as of this evening.

I did get back on the rowing machine today, cause the hip is finally improving and feeling about 75%. We'll see how it reacts. It sucks rolling around in bed all night not able to find a comfortable position.

Unfortunately I can't really ride to work. It's about 22 miles and a lot of it is roads you wouldn't want to ride a bike on.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:44 am

Sounds like your broke down old ass might need a recumbent if you did ride. If I go much past 20 miles, my lower back starts letting me know about it. You could try a mountain or hybrid as the more upright riding position might be better.

The best thing about the bike, besides buying less $4.15/gal gas is that it makes my tired old knees feel like they are about 30 years newer. Been trying to get the OL interested in biking as it might help her operated on a half dozen times left knee out, but, she's been kind of ascared of bikes since last summer when her's bucked her off and broke her arm.

So, if any of you old fukks have bad knees and a 15 mile or less not too hilly commute to work, get yerself a good bike and some faggy looking bike shorts and start riding to work. You won't regret it.
Screw_Michigan wrote:The candidate of you shitbags won't accept the peaceful transfer of power.

Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:54 am

I hear you todd. I do have concerns. Fortunately, I have figured out a better route for the ride home. It's about half a mile longer, but, much less traveled.

Do you drive route 1 to get to work? I can see how that would be suicide.
Screw_Michigan wrote:The candidate of you shitbags won't accept the peaceful transfer of power.

Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:40 am

Scooters may be very practical, but, they are still scooters and, therefore, gax. Also, I think you are nearly as much a target for oblivious soccer mom tahoe pilots as I am on my bike. Atleast I get a good cardio workout and will make a better looking corpse when I get run over.

I think a better option would be a small dual purpose such as a klr250. It is wayyyyyyy more fun than that scooter and not terribly far behind in mileage. My buddy gets 65 on his drz400. I would think a 250 might do over 70.
Screw_Michigan wrote:The candidate of you shitbags won't accept the peaceful transfer of power.

Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Goober McTuber » Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:50 pm

Toddowen wrote:Sure....I get laughed at occasionaly.
Much more often than you realize.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:12 pm

At least he realizes that it's "at" and not "with".

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Dinsdale » Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:10 pm

Update:

I'm still not spam.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:31 pm

meth or cycling? hmmmmmm. less chance of being run over, I guess, with a meth habit. But, I think I'll take my chances and stick with cycling.

BTW, tod. I'm getting me some led lighting soon. I passed a cyclist going the other way the other day on my other bike, the fj1100. And as I looked at this dude fade away in my rear view mirror, I could still clearly see his blazing red led tail light. I could still see it clearly even when I couldn't see the rest of him at all. I am sold on those fukkig things.
Screw_Michigan wrote:The candidate of you shitbags won't accept the peaceful transfer of power.

Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Dinsdale » Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:38 pm

smackaholic wrote:I am sold on those fukkig things.

???

'Round these parts, the lawmakers were pretty sold on bicycle lighting during night time hours... oh, probably before I was born.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Goober McTuber » Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:12 pm

Dinsdale wrote:before I was born.
Good times, good times.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by smackaholic » Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:05 am

Dinsdale wrote:
smackaholic wrote:I am sold on those fukkig things.

???

'Round these parts, the lawmakers were pretty sold on bicycle lighting during night time hours... oh, probably before I was born.
I am not talking about night time riding. I am talking about daytime. Especially a nice bright sunny afternoon. During these times, you become pretty much invisible when you ride into the dark shadow of a big oak tree. The reflector thingy I already have becomes worthless in this case because the fukker in the accord about to run me down doesn't have his lights on.
Screw_Michigan wrote:The candidate of you shitbags won't accept the peaceful transfer of power.

Nice going, shitstains. Fuck you all.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:26 pm

'Round these parts the law tends to discourage drinking any sort of alcoholic beverage while driving.

Don't faggots on scooters where you live have to obey the same traffic laws as everybody else?

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Goober McTuber » Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:08 pm

Pay Mikey no mind, Toddowen. You’re your own man. Pound down a 12-pack and drive that scooter like you stole it.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by socal » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:02 am

~One year bump.~

Are you fucks still spam or what?
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Atomic Punk wrote:So why did you post it?
Yes, that just happened.

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by Mikey » Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:16 am

socal wrote:~One year bump.~

Are you fucks still spam or what?

What do you think?

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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by BSmack » Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:12 pm

Not as spam as a year ago. But I still have work to do. Fatherhood difinitely slowed my progress for the 1st 6 months. But since New Years I've been on point. Beer has been almost totaly eliminated from the diet, I've been hitting the gym with increasing regularity and salads have replaced simple carbs. If all continues to plan, I'll be where I want to be by Christmas.
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Re: spam Fucks Thread

Post by socal » Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:44 pm

Mikey wrote:
socal wrote:~One year bump.~

Are you fucks still spam or what?

What do you think?

Uh, yes?

:lol:
Van wrote:Kumbaya, asshats.
R-Jack wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:So why did you post it?
Yes, that just happened.

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