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by Mike Backer
Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:06 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: (G) Supposed video of Sadam's stretched neck... (G)
Replies: 9
Views: 581

Allah Akbar motherfucker.
by Mike Backer
Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:03 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: I ate dog last night
Replies: 30
Views: 1837

Made the mistake of spending 4 bucks on the 3 tacos for a buck "taco special" from a street vendor as I was crossing the border wasted from Matamoros, Meheeco back to Brownsville, Tejas back in March of '96. Yep, that's 12 tacos. Finished 11 of 'em before I tapped out. (Before you mistake ...
by Mike Backer
Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:34 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Kelly Hu
Replies: 16
Views: 2003

Re: Kelly Hu

KELLY HU! My god, is this the most beautiful woman on the planet?! Geez! :evil: Soooo, I see you left my favorite 10, Brooke Burke. However, right now Brooke is about to squeeze out kid #3. She'll get back in shape rather quickly. The good news is that at least you know that Brooke Burke fucks (and...
by Mike Backer
Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:10 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Jay Mohr reportedly marries Nikki Cox
Replies: 13
Views: 1677

the_ouskull wrote:I doubt it. From all accounts, even though they're somewhat close, he probably doesn't approve of why Jay's first marriage broke up...

the_ouskull
Why DID Jay's first marriage break up?

I'm guessin that she never got over the fact that Jay called The Jungle during his fucking honeymoon.
by Mike Backer
Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:07 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Bronco cornerback dead
Replies: 10
Views: 814

Bobby42 wrote:"Mr. 'wheat!"
"Yeah?"

Rat, ta, tat tat.
BWA! One of my earliest SNL memories.

Classic.
by Mike Backer
Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:49 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Holy Fuck
Replies: 15
Views: 712

Instead of having to worry about only one dick in town, now you'll have to worry about EVERY dick in town.

Good luck to ya.
by Mike Backer
Wed Dec 27, 2006 10:08 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Gerry Ford takes the dirt nap
Replies: 29
Views: 813

Derron wrote:I'll rack him for shanking a drive and bouncing a golf ball off some dudes dome in the gallery.
That was Sam Snead at this year's Masters, dipshit.
by Mike Backer
Wed Dec 27, 2006 5:18 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: The 7 Days of Kwanzaa
Replies: 46
Views: 5201

They worship the three kings during Kwanza:

Don, Rodney, and Martin Luther
by Mike Backer
Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:23 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: The first reindeer that crosses my war path...
Replies: 16
Views: 822

The first reindeer that crosses my war path...

...is gonna get fucked right below the white tail with a barbed wire condom, and then I'm gonna donkey punch the hairy hoofed douche bag as I shoot my egg nog onto it's rack. Believe it.

Merry fucking Christmas you mexican elk.
by Mike Backer
Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:31 pm
Forum: ARCHIVE!
Topic: ***2007 DEATH POOL***
Replies: 95
Views: 37563

Mohamed Al Fayed - Dodi's Dad/Princess Di's almost father in law - Somewhere in his 60's - Heart Failure. Robbie Knievel - Evel's less talanted daredevil kid - Somewhere in his 40's - Motorcycle accident. Senator Obama whatshisface - (D) IL - Dark skinned presidential hopeful - Somewhere in his 40's...
by Mike Backer
Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:36 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: After Market Automobile Navigation Systems
Replies: 24
Views: 1205

After Market Automobile Navigation Systems

I need some feedback on after market automobile navigation systems. Girlfriend wants to get her parents one for X-mas as they travel every weekend. (No, this is not the asseater.)

I told her I would do some investigating. That's where you monkeys come into play.

Let T1B reviews begin...
by Mike Backer
Fri Oct 27, 2006 10:40 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Movie Actor.. Did you Know?
Replies: 5
Views: 289

This just in: Kate Beckinsale is hot.
by Mike Backer
Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:18 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: OW! This will probably scar her for life!!!
Replies: 7
Views: 349

Same thing happened to my HS athletic director and his daughter. After he died, his widow remarried 8 months later.

She sure knew how to mourn a loss. :rolleyes: Can't let losing a husband and your daughters grief and overall mental health get in the way of those wacky nuptuals.
by Mike Backer
Sat Oct 21, 2006 1:19 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Post your best insult about the poster above you!
Replies: 26
Views: 930

^^^^Sucks hairy negro balls.
by Mike Backer
Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:24 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: HVAC help needed.
Replies: 14
Views: 844

All excellent suggestions. Especially the arteest formerly known as OCMike coming thru in the clutch.

I ended up having Darrell come out and assrape me to the tune of $240. New ignitor and new thermostat.

No rimjobs.
by Mike Backer
Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:17 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: HVAC help needed.
Replies: 14
Views: 844

HVAC help needed.

HVAC help requested. Girlfriend has a Coleman Automatic Ignition furnace that is blowing air, but not warming anything. Went out and checked the gas line to the house. Check. Gas line to the furnace. Check. Gas valve inside the furnace. Check. The problem is that the burners are not lighting and spi...
by Mike Backer
Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:39 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Any of you ever submitted a tip to Crime Stoppers?
Replies: 6
Views: 612

JCT wrote:Did you at least score an 8 ball before you rolled on him?
Absolutely.
by Mike Backer
Sun Oct 01, 2006 4:11 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Any of you ever submitted a tip to Crime Stoppers?
Replies: 6
Views: 612

Any of you ever submitted a tip to Crime Stoppers?

Never really cared enough to because I like to mind my own business, but I found out some drug pushing shitstain is trying to sell blow to some of girls down the road that I know. Ordinarily, I wouldn't care, but dude is pushing it near a church/day care and a park, and offers the girls to trade sex...
by Mike Backer
Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:11 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Moving and I need to ship my shit
Replies: 25
Views: 1552

BSmack wrote:Bran,

What kind of car do you have? Maybe you could pull a trailer behind your car?
2002 Pontiac Grand Prix. Old sales car I just kept since it's paid for. The trailer is out. I'm just donating my shit to Goodwill, I'll snatch an overpriced receipt for my taxes and be done with it.
by Mike Backer
Thu Sep 07, 2006 10:52 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Moving and I need to ship my shit
Replies: 25
Views: 1552

BWA!!! Rack it.

The old man ain't a classic for nuttin'.
by Mike Backer
Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:40 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Moving and I need to ship my shit
Replies: 25
Views: 1552

That is sounding damn good to me too BSmack. No way I should spend $900 to move $1600 worth of furniture.
by Mike Backer
Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:20 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Moving and I need to ship my shit
Replies: 25
Views: 1552

BSmack wrote:Buy an old beater truck for 1000 and sell it when you get to Indiana.
Good ider, but not enough time.
by Mike Backer
Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:10 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Moving and I need to ship my shit
Replies: 25
Views: 1552

Moving and I need to ship my shit

Relocating from Las Vegas back to Indiana for work, and need a cheap way to move my shit. PODS wont deliver to my new zip code, and Uhaul is going to charge me $2,400, not to mention gas. I don't have a lot to move, mostly a cal king bed, dresser, night stand, desk, exercise bike. All the other shit...
by Mike Backer
Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:55 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Scored 2 tix to UFC 62
Replies: 10
Views: 568

WhatsMyName wrote:Last I heard, Dana White said Wandy/Liddell is as good as DEAD.
Link?
by Mike Backer
Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:08 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Scored 2 tix to UFC 62
Replies: 10
Views: 568

Agreed.
by Mike Backer
Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:32 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Scored 2 tix to UFC 62
Replies: 10
Views: 568

Scored 2 tix to UFC 62

My first live MMA event. Hopefully will witness Chuck smack Babalu around, but that match up worries me.
by Mike Backer
Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:22 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: UFN Odds.
Replies: 6
Views: 301

Ouch. Goulet just got worked.

I'm likin' Sanchez at +125. Dude has skeeeillz.

I probably just jinxed the fuck out of him...
by Mike Backer
Tue Aug 15, 2006 4:16 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Caption
Replies: 12
Views: 807

JCT wrote:"Come let us get on a raft and visit our comrade in St. Pete." *

*only Mike will get that **

** Providing he can remember


3! I got both.
by Mike Backer
Sat Jul 29, 2006 2:38 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: WTF is wrong with me?
Replies: 34
Views: 809

Sounds like the only thing you're missing are the fava beans.

Sin,
Image
by Mike Backer
Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:23 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Okay, dammit, WHICH IS IT?!
Replies: 7
Views: 379

Image
by Mike Backer
Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:56 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Bob Knight has a message for Tom
Replies: 7
Views: 567

Rich Fader wrote:And I have a message for Bob:

Props to the greatest Indiana basketball coach ever...

...John Robert Wooden.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRACK!!!
by Mike Backer
Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:49 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Another Hot Teacher.. Another 13 year old boy!!
Replies: 15
Views: 2505

Your kid is 14 and has a cell phone?
by Mike Backer
Sun Jul 16, 2006 7:43 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Who's Your Team?
Replies: 148
Views: 6498

NFL: Colts.
NBA: Pacers.
College football: Purdue.
College basketball: Purdue.
by Mike Backer
Fri Jul 14, 2006 4:43 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Some Pretty Good Danica Smack...
Replies: 23
Views: 908

IndyFrisco wrote:I'd give her a Mike Backer.
So would I.

:twisted: :shock: 8)
by Mike Backer
Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:49 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Some Pretty Good Danica Smack...
Replies: 23
Views: 908

Re: Some Pretty Good Danica Smack...

KC Paul 3.0 wrote:
Mike Backer wrote:You know those drivers are sick and fucking tired of Danica. And until that ho spreads 'em for some skin mag, so am I.
So you're saying that you're GAY?
How in the fuck do you get gay from the fact that I want to see her nekkid?

Swing and a miss...
by Mike Backer
Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:00 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Some Pretty Good Danica Smack...
Replies: 23
Views: 908

It's the Anna Kournikova Syndrome. Easy on the eyes. Hasn't won shit. The media machine needs to stop ramming this winless skank down our throats until she shows us some skin.
by Mike Backer
Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:32 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Some Pretty Good Danica Smack...
Replies: 23
Views: 908

Some Pretty Good Danica Smack...

Ed Carpenter, who trails Patrick by four slots in the IRL IndyCar Series' points race, made the comment when asked how Patrick might handle NASCAR racing during a radio appearance to promote Saturday night's Firestone Indy 200. "I think Danica's pretty aggressive in our cars," Carpenter s...
by Mike Backer
Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:19 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Adam Carolla tells Ann Coulter to get lost
Replies: 61
Views: 2854

BSmack wrote:Just because your self of steam is slipping...
Can't believe someone didn't catch this gem.
by Mike Backer
Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:07 pm
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Ladies and Gentlemen: the next President will be
Replies: 141
Views: 5097

Evan Bayh. Book it.
by Mike Backer
Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:05 am
Forum: Cul de Smack
Topic: Poolpissers
Replies: 20
Views: 2010

Fuck pissing. I shot a generous load of my man magma in the country club pool when I was 16. No bullshit.

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