The Jesus is Flat

[Jay in Phoenix]

Just think of all the possibilities of a flat Jesus.

Why you could slip him under the door like a pamphlet.

You could fold him into hat, or a broach or a pterodactyl.

[smackaholic]

Hell, if they had been invented at the time, the Romans could have stapled his ass to the cross.

[trev]

Proof:

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I also have issues with the physics of the crucifixion. I just don't think he could hang there intact that long with three nails, two through the palms. Unless they used square headed deck screws.

[Goober McTuber]

The nails were through the wrists, not the palms.

[Mikey]

Most of the pictures I've seen of Jesus were actually Matthew McConaughey.

[Jay in Phoenix]

88

I have theological question concerning Flat Jesus that is vexing. In the Japanese art of origami, it is possible to shape a piece of flat paper, which is almost identical to Jesus, into a ball. Or, a sphere if you will.

Does this then make Flat Christ now three dimensional, thus negating the entire two dimensional theory?

In turn, would this not be shaping Flat Jesus into our own image and not the other way around?


WWFJD?

[Jay in Phoenix]

Whew! That, as they say, is a poser. In more than one way.

So now we must contemplate the possibility of a spherical Jesus, but also the existence of a flat Jesus inhabiting multiple planes of simultaneous existence. I heard that a researcher in Boca Raton is ready to unveil a string Jesus theory, that would seem to establish both flat and round shapes as existing in the same or multidimensional space. Needless to say, my head is spinning, which given a strict flat Jesus universe would seem contradictory.

All I know is this for a fact.

The pages of the Bible are flat, so must be Jesus.

Unless of course you roll a page into a tube shape, then it becomes round and can rotate and...and...dammit my head hurts! 88 bud, this is on you.

Xanax time.

[jiminphilly]

I wonder if Mary Mags had flat tits.

[poptart]

pop, where are you on this one?

Romans 14:11
For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.


You can bow now or you will bow later.

Do the right thing.
I implore you from the bottom of my heart.

It's no joke.

[Smackie Chan]

It's no joke.

It kinda is.

[Jay in Phoenix]

pop, where are you on this one?

Romans 14:11
For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

Coming from a guy who can't see the real world that is right in front of him, that carries a lot of weight.

Put down your avs crack pipe pops and take an unpolluted breath.

Your gagging on your own false rhetoric.