I just retired from coaching tonight

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:35 pm

You should blame Obama...or Clinton?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:01 am

Before PUSFAG and the others chime in on my resume... (hopefully the next will be funny)

When I've spent 6 years in teaching after getting out of the USN and now am a nurse, etc. (get it over already butt pirates)... I've been a USPTA pro rated coach at the high school level and what my mentor taught me was to make it fun. Of course, as pops knows, I was the head tennis coach and ran those kids through drills and made it fun, and the winners of every practice got a reward in the form of a soda. I didn't believe the pros that are ex-Stanford players that told me McEnroe is a prick, etc. I listened to them and what they told me to do worked.

Basketball (5th & 6th grades) - No talent at all but my mentor teacher taught me how to coach basketball as I wasn't very good in high school other than being tall. My team went to the finals my 2nd year after listening to other coaches.

Baseball (5th & 6th grades) - Although I was a decent player in my day and played pitcher & 1st base... how do you teach/coach and make it fun? Well, I asked other coaches and made it fun.

Football - For the KC Tards, Stephone Paige helped me my last year and couldn't believe none of his knowledge translated to game situations. I let him call plays one game when he couldn't believe the kids that ran perfect plays in practice couldn't do it in a game. I laughed at him and he bowed out and told me he couldn't believe how they couldn't run plays that we've taught them.

88, they're kids. Give them a break and shut down the drunk dads thinking they have the next superstar. Teach fundamentals and make it fun for the kids. If not, they'll get turned off and quit.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:16 am

fukkin' quitter.

:)

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:21 am

Atomic Punk wrote:Before PUSFAG and the others chime in on my resume...

There's only so much bandwidth here......

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:25 am

Atomic Punk wrote:88, they're kids. Give them a break and shut down the drunk dads thinking they have the next superstar. Teach fundamentals and make it fun for the kids. If not, they'll get turned off and quit.

His issue is that he doesn't have the TIME to coach. Did you even read what he posted?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:39 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:88, they're kids. Give them a break and shut down the drunk dads thinking they have the next superstar. Teach fundamentals and make it fun for the kids. If not, they'll get turned off and quit.
His issue is that he doesn't have the TIME to coach. Did you even read what he posted?

1st, shocker that Pedo chimed in quickly. Hide your kids folks!

MGBl0w - Give me a list of people that don't include Pedo that have time to coach. Nobody has time to coach from the High School level down to the young tard level. Quit apologizing for your fellow admins on every issue.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:55 am

88: I had to quit coaching because I don't have the time for it. Beyond that, I have no issues with it.

AP: Give the kids a break and ignore the parents. Just teach the fundamentals and have fun.

Can't you see how this exchange makes no sense at all?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:06 am

I see that you are an apologizzed moron, but I don't accept an excuse to quit on a team. "I have no time" tells me one is a quitter. You can always make time IF you want to get the job done. Also, I like 88 more than any of you other a-holes.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:13 am

Atomic Punk wrote:I see that you are an apologizzed moron, but I don't accept an excuse to quit on a team. "I have no time" tells me one is a quitter. You can always make time IF you want to get the job done. Also, I like 88 more than any of you other a-holes.

Lucky 88.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:17 am

Diego in Seattle wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:I see that you are an apologizzed moron, but I don't accept an excuse to quit on a team. "I have no time" tells me one is a quitter. You can always make time IF you want to get the job done. Also, I like 88 more than any of you other a-holes.
Lucky 88.

Kansas City just opened up a IKYABWAI store in Seattle after Starbucks is taking a big hit in another industry.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:21 am

Atomic Punk wrote:I don't accept an excuse to quit on a team. "I have no time" tells me one is a quitter.

Quitter? Aren't you on your 47th job in the last 2 years?

If that's your take why didn't you just say that? 88 said he had to retire from coaching and you told him to go teach fundamentals. You're like a lost child wandering into the middle of a conversation.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:32 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:I don't accept an excuse to quit on a team. "I have no time" tells me one is a quitter.
Quitter? Aren't you on your 47th job in the last 2 years?

If that's your take why didn't you just say that? 88 said he had to retire from coaching and you told him to go teach fundamentals. You're like a lost child wandering into the middle of a conversation.

I was actually responding to 88 with a real response. Do you ever admit you're wrong about anything? You're flailing and Pedo needs a reach-around right now. Go to him... he needs you.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:34 am

Eh...nevermind. It's just easier to call you a fucking idiot.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:36 am

Atomic Punk wrote: 1st, shocker that Pedo chimed in quickly. Hide your kids folks!

AP, Diego isn't the least bit interested in 5th & 6th graders- they're way too old

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:39 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Eh...nevermind. It's just easier to call you a fucking idiot.

Eject button smiie is missing. Dude, 88 hasn't come in here to defend himself and yet YOU are slurping his Jewish cack! Have you ever coached a team before Bl0w?

The younger kids need structure and consistency. These days the older kids need that structure also. To make a commitment then bail out on them sends a bad signal out to these vidiots/fast food eaters.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:45 am

Atomic Punk wrote:Dude, 88 hasn't come in here to defend himself and yet YOU are slurping his Jewish cack!

I'm not defending 88, I'm calling you an idiot.

To make a commitment then bail out on them sends a bad signal out to these vidiots/fast food eaters.

You are backpedaling. Where in this post were you attempting to make that point?

88, they're kids. Give them a break and shut down the drunk dads thinking they have the next superstar. Teach fundamentals and make it fun for the kids. If not, they'll get turned off and quit.

Take your time.

You were obviously just spouting off general coaching advice without actually reading (or comprehending) the specifics of 88's situation. Just admit it, move on, and shut the fuck up.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:49 am

88 wrote:I have limited time...

Imagine how the folks who don't own their own business must feel. When I played middle school football, the head coach was a local bar owner and the two part time assistants were recently graduated alums who were putting their time until they got full time gym teacher gigs. I was glad my dad made my games. I sure as fuck wouldn't have expected him to work 40+ hrs, goo to events for 4 different sons AND coach.

That said, I HOPE when my boy starts playing sports I have the chance and the time to help. But if it comes too putting food on the table or coaching, we're picking the food on the table.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:08 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:Dude, 88 hasn't come in here to defend himself and yet YOU are slurping his Jewish cack!
I'm not defending 88, I'm calling you an idiot.

To make a commitment then bail out on them sends a bad signal out to these vidiots/fast food eaters.
You are backpedaling. Where in this post were you attempting to make that point?

88, they're kids. Give them a break and shut down the drunk dads thinking they have the next superstar. Teach fundamentals and make it fun for the kids. If not, they'll get turned off and quit.
Take your time.

You were obviously just spouting off general coaching advice without actually reading (or comprehending) the specifics of 88's situation. Just admit it, move on, and shut the fuck up.

Tell you what Bl0w... I'll wait for 88 to man-up and respond. His tank has to be as empty as Diego's on a different level.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:12 am

Atomic Punk wrote:but I don't accept an excuse to quit on a team.

Nice take, Nancy. While I am sure your future wife and kids would love to see less of some cross-dressing drunken half-wit, I am quite certain I speak for all non-deviant hetero husbands/fathers when I say... go fist yourself. Family comes first in this household. If dude doesn't have time to ~~coach~~ babysit other people's fucking kids and 35 dads don't have the stones to step up, then oh well. Perhaps if you didn't change vocations the way you do women's underwear, you wouldn't have so much free time. Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you due to move this year? Have Jack fire up the U-Haul. I think a shithole like Cleveland would suit you very well. Man up... yourself and take over for 88, Suzy.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:16 am

88 is on hold Ucunt. You don't quit on your team. Wait until the end of the season and then quit.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:16 am

Great call, 88. You cleared up a lot of time to get over on poor people. Rack your time management skillz!

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:18 am

Oh, and I almost forgot:

Although I'm sure Slobbering Sam or Fatspray could have lent you one of theirs. Also, it's too bad you couldn't stick around for one last retirement parade during the season and get back at all those assholes who crossed you by running up the score on them, Toejam style.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:53 am

88 wrote:Jesus Christ, AP. Can you read?

I've coached this team for 5 years. I coached even when I didn't have any of my own kids playing for it. I've put in my time. If you bothered to read, you would see that I told the head coach at the outset this year that I would only commit to get him through conditioning and the first week of team practice. I fulfilled my commitment. But, for the sake of my own family and me, I cannot coach this season because I do not have adequate time. It would be unfair to the kids on the team and to my own kids to try to do it again. The 5th and 6th graders' first game is three weeks away. I will help the new offensive coordinator get his shit in gear as best I can.

And as far as making it fun for the kids, that is the only reason I do it. For a significant portion of the kids that sign up, this will be their only experience playing in football gear. More than 50% will quit playing ball before 7th grade. We do everything we can to give every kid the absolute best experience possible. Yes, we run their asses off and expect much from them. But they have the time of their lives. I have high school kids come up to me and tell me that they had more fun during 5th and 6th grade than during any season since.

As for parents who won't step up, perhaps I'm being harsh. I know how significant a time commitment it is to coach football. It is hard to get to practice 2 hours a night four nights a week and then spend most of your Saturday getting ready to play a game. But out of 35 fathers/sperm donors, you'd think at least one motherfucker would have enough sack to give it a shot.

Oh, and I'm not Jewish. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Just remember, they're kids. Coach em up and have a good time. Teach the fundamentals, but take em out for pizza once in a while. Best of luck to ya.

-AP

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:00 am

Yes Sir, I can read... and understood your points. I just wanted more of an amplification of your decision. What I wanted to hear is what the fellow coaches had in mind for this season since you were leaving.

So I used a zz/AP tactic for you to tell me what I wanted to know. Bl0w, just drop it it. I got what I wanted. It's cool.

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:06 am

Atomic Punk wrote:So I used a zz/AP tactic for you to tell me what I wanted to know. It's cool.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Eh...nevermind. It's just easier to call you a fucking idiot.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:10 am

Fatty fucker, she's starting up her class this week or next? Hopefully she didn't buy the room a pencil sharpener this time around.

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:18 am

Atomic Punk wrote:Fatty fucker, she's starting up her class this week or next? Hopefully she didn't buy the room a pencil sharpener this time around.

OOOOOOHHHHH BUUUURRRRRNNN!

Seriously, AP. E-fucking-ject.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:51 am

Atomic Punk wrote:So I used a zz/AP tactic for you to tell me what I wanted to know.

Mind-numbing stupidity to compliment an utter lack of reading comprehension is one of your "moves"?

Well, hey. It got you the info you wanted.....................nevermind that it was the exact same shit he said in the first post.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:22 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:zz/AP

Is this moron number one? Put moron number two on the phone.

Atomic Punk wrote:tactic

Besides demonstrating your innate ability to not read/post gibberish, get run by MGO, and have 88 repeat what he wrote in his original post... I am not sure what you set out to accomplish here. Can you flesh this out a little?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:30 pm

Atomic Punk wrote:Fatty fucker, she's starting up her class this week or next?

What does this even mean? Is this supposed to be funny or smack laden?

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:21 pm

BSmack wrote:Imagine how the folks who don't own their own business must feel. When I played middle school football, the head coach was a local bar owner and the two part time assistants were recently graduated alums who were putting their time until they got full time gym teacher gigs. I was glad my dad made my games. I sure as fuck wouldn't have expected him to work 40+ hrs, goo to events for 4 different sons AND coach.

That said, I HOPE when my boy starts playing sports I have the chance and the time to help. But if it comes too putting food on the table or coaching, we're picking the food on the table.

I work 50+ hours a week, and I do not own my own business. However, I can still make the time to coach all of my kids sports. I have coached soccer for 3 seasons, t-ball for 1 season and basketball for one season (even though I suck at basketball). I coach because if I don't, the majority of the kids who I coach pieces of shit parents would never bother. It is babysitting for them. When your boy starts playing sports, if you want to coach and don't, you're a piece of shit too. You will MAKE TIME to do it if it means that much to you. You fancy yourself as some smart guy? If you are, you can find a job that gives you the flexibility to be a good father/coach.

88 wrote:Not one motherfucking father stepped up. Not one.

Let me add to this...

As I said above, I've coached all the sports for my kids. I about lost it this year though in T-Ball. As the coach, it was my responsibility to get 4 volunteers to work the concession stand for only 3 hours one day the entire baseball season. This would not be during one of their child's games. I stood there and asked the parents, all of them, the first day of practice for 4 volunteers. They all looked at me with blank faces. I said, "If none of you volunteer, then my wife and I and my assistant's wife and he have to work the concession stand. I feel like I am volunteering plenty of time to coach your son." Nothing. As it turned out, my wife and I along with the assistant and his wife worked the stand. We both had to pay babysitters to watch our kids so we could fill our team's commitment to work the stand. Next year, I will tell the parents in the first practice we will not begin practice until we have the volunteers. That's bullshit.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:35 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote: What does this even mean?

top to bottom - AP thought process

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:47 pm

War Wagon wrote:AP thought process

+

=

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:51 pm

Rack this thread.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:53 pm

88 wrote:But out of 35 fathers/sperm donors/ATMs

Fixed

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:58 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
88 wrote:But out of 35 fathers/sperm donors/ATMs
Fixed

I truly pity any woman that ever hooks up with you. You really are a fucking mess.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:20 pm

I agree with you, Gobbles McTubesteak. Men are not walking ATMs nor sperm donors. We are humans and fathers.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:50 pm

Rack you, 88, for giving your time to coach kids. I never coached my son for two reasons. None of his teams ever needed me to, and I played different sports growing up than he chose to play. But I always was involved, serving on a board of directors, running the scoreboard for youth hockey, working the concession stand in Little League. Hell, I volunteered to work concessions for Little League this year because my grandson is now playing.

And rack Screwball for giving his password to Dan Vogel.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:10 pm

88 wrote:
Unfortunatley, that shit continues from year to year. If anything, it gets worse the older the kids get. You're right. For many parents, sports is a drive and dump baby-sitting opportunity. It isn't the kids' fault. They just have shitty parents.

this is why i've forced my girlfriend to have six abortions, seven after our...i mean her doctor's appointment tomorrow.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:32 pm

she likes baseball, so only two more to go.