How the U&L Rolls

[Dinsdale]

http://www.oregonlive.com/cycling/index ... za_20.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;



I think I need to take up unicycle jousting. Looks like a great way to put as whooping on wannabe hippy dorks.

[bbqjones]

or hang out here.

you choose

[Dinsdale]

or hang out here.

you choose

I work nights these days. It's conducive to hanging out here.

[bbqjones]

if I were working nights, id be hanging out at the bar during the day. well maybe. since im not really working at all, im hanging out at the bar whenever im not passed out.

[Dinsdale]

It actually creates incentive to work quickly and efficiently (since my wage doesn't).

If the night's work gets done quickly, I have a couple of hours downtown to drink up, including at a downtown bar a buddy now manages, before I have to board the last bus (sup Denn) heading south.


Because everyone loves a drunk guy on the bus.

[Dinsdale]

How much work can you do offshore at night?

Your mom.


Wait... wrong answer... sorry.






If you look very closely, you can see some offshore platforms downtown... like the Eastbank Esplanade and stuff.

[Dinsdale]

If you ask really nicely, I'll forgo going to the festival shown above, and the cornucopia of opportunities to sling game in one of the plethora of cunt-nuggets that will surely be in attendence by the thousands, and instead I'll stick around to call random internet strangers "stupid faggots."

Sounds like a winner.


But... if I do indeed do that, I'll lose any and all right to say "at least I'm not AP," so I guess I'll enjoy my extra-long weekend and attempt to pound some ho-pelvis flat... after tagging the slumpbuster on her way out of town...


Because Dins has been one no-morals, horrible-person motherfucker lately.

[bbqjones]

in the same boat. id hit it now.

[Mister Bushice]

How much work can you do offshore at night? :?

drunk tripping and falling face down in shallow coastal waters while wearing those height rendering platform shoes doesn't take much time, and it technically IS offshore platform. The work part is getting up before you drown.

[Goober McTuber]

I think I need to take up unicycle jousting.

Are you going jousting in that same area where there are “many erections to be had”? Just wondering what you mean by “jousting”.

[Dinsdale]

drunk tripping and falling face down in shallow coastal waters

Good memory. That was indeed a work roadie on the coast, although after work. Which was followed shortly thereafter by the near-cougar attack.

But that was like 3-4 years ago.

while wearing those height rendering platform shoes

Bad memory. That was TVO/Zy/Perk.

[Dinsdale]

Are you going jousting in that same area where there are “many erections to be had”?

No. The myriad erection-producers are on the large urban college campus I often travel through during the day.

Why... are there guys here who don't clip a woodrow when scoping the summer population that's sunning themselves on the lawns of large university campuses?

[Goober McTuber]

Why... are there guys here who don't clip a woodrow when scoping the summer population that's sunning themselves on the lawns of large university campuses?

I think the greater question was whose woodrow you were clipping.

[indyfrisco]

If the night's work gets done quickly, I have a couple of hours downtown to drink up, including at a downtown bar a buddy now manages, before I have to board the last bus (sup Denn) heading south.

Bus? Pussy!

Sin,
TTB

[Dinsdale]

after tagging the slumpbuster on her way out of town...

UPDATE:


Not so much. Slept in a little late to take the freebie.

Guess I'll have to get off my lazy ass and find some higher grade punani over the weekend.


Because unlike my man BBQ... that is how I roll.

[Dinsdale]

[bobby42]

CAMBRIDGE, Idaho (AP) — Using his trusty BB gun to help him return to Earth, a 48-year-old gas station owner flew a lawn chair rigged with helium-filled balloons more than 200 miles across the Oregon desert Saturday, landing in a field in Idaho.

Kent Couch created a sensation in this tiny farming community, where he touched down safely in a pasture after lifting off from Bend, Ore., and was soon greeted by dozens of people who gave him drinks of water, local plumber Mark Hetz said.

"My wife works at the City Market," Hetz said. "She called and said, 'The balloon guy in the lawn chair just flew by the market, and if you look out the door you can see him.

"We go outside to look, and lo and behold, there he is. He's flying by probably 100 to 200 feet off the ground.

"He takes his BB gun and shoots some balloons to lower himself to the ground. When he hit the ground he released all the little tiny balloons. People were racing down the road with cameras. They were all talking and laughing."

Couch covered about 235 miles in about nine hours after lifting off at dawn from his gas station riding in a green lawn chair rigged with an array of more than 150 giant party balloons.

Sandi Barton, 58, who has lived her whole life in this town of about 300, said she and her brother-in-law were the first ones to reach Couch and shook his hand.

"Not much happens in Cambridge," she said, adding that about half the town turned out.

"He came right over our pea field," she said. "He was coming down pretty fast."

She said Couch gave some of his balloons to local children.

It was not clear where Couch went after he landed.

It began after Couch, clutching a big mug of coffee, kissed his wife and kids goodbye, then patted their shivering Chihuahua, Isabella, on the head.

After spilling off some cherry-flavored Kool-Aid that served as ballast, Couch got a push from the ground crew so he could clear light poles and soared over a coffee cart and across U.S. Highway 20 into a bright blue sky.

"If I had the time and money and people, I'd do this every weekend," Couch said before getting into the chair. "Things just look different from up there. You've moving so slowly. The best thing is the peace, the serenity.

"Originally, I wanted to do it because of boyhood dreams. I don't know about girls, but I think most guys look up in the sky and wish they could ride on a cloud."

Couch's wife, Susan, called him crazy: "It's never been a dull moment since I married him."

This was Couch's third balloon flight. He realized it would be possible after watching a TV show about the 1982 lawn chair flight over Los Angeles of truck driver Larry Walters, who gained folk hero fame but was fined $1,500 for violating air traffic rules.

In 2006, Couch had to parachute out after popping too many balloons. And last year he flew 193 miles to the sagebrush of northeastern Oregon, short of his goal.

"I'm not stopping till I get out of state," he said.

To that end, he ordered more balloons. Dozens of volunteers wearing fluorescent green T-shirts that said "Dream Big" filled latex balloons 5 feet in diameter, attached them to strings and tied clusters of six balloons each to a tiny carabiner clip.

Each balloon gives four pounds of lift. The chair was about 400 pounds, and Couch and his parachute 200 more.

"I'd go to 30,000 feet if I didn't shoot a balloon down periodically," Couch said.

For that job, he carried a Red Ryder BB gun and a blow gun equipped with steel darts. He also had a pole with a hook for pulling in balloons, a parachute in case anything went wrong, a handheld Global Positioning System device with altimeter, a satellite phone, and two GPS tracking devices. One was one for him, the other for the chair, which got away in the wind as he landed last year.

For food he carried some boiled eggs, jerky and chocolate.

Couch flew hang gliders and skydived before taking up lawn-chair flights. He estimated the rig cost about $6,000, mostly for helium. Costs were defrayed by corporate sponsors.

[/bobby42]

For that job, he carried a Red Ryder BB gun

You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[Cuda]

That's not a trip I'd want to make in a real balloon, nevermind a lawn chair.

While a Dawn launch is a real good idea no matter what you're flying, 9 hours later, you're going to have some pretty unpleasant conditions nearly 100% of the time. 500+ ft/min up & down drafts are the norm over the desert in the afternooner. Take my word for it, a couple hours of that is pretty brutal even in a 3100 lb airplane.

The FAA will want to see his balloon pilot's license regardless.

[Dinsdale]

500+ ft/min up & down drafts are the norm over the desert in the afternooner.

And at dawn, ass-chipping cold temps are pretty normal in the high desert, although I'm sure it was a toasty triple-digits by the time he landed.

The FAA will want to see his balloon pilot's license regardless.

Pretty sure The Balloon Guy got it all legal before he went.

[Dinsdale]

SALEM, Ore. - Relax it and tax it.

That's the motto behind a new cannabis initiative that would allow Oregon's state-controlled liquor stores to legally sell marijuana to adults.

Initiative backers said their plan would send 90 percent of the proceeds from the state's sale of marijuana to Oregon's General Fund, which could lower Oregonians' state tax burden.

Smaller percentages would go to funding drug abuse education and treatment programs.

The initiative would also legalize the growing of hemp, a non-drug variant of cannabis that can be used to make industrial-strength fibers and bio-fuels.

Supporters claim that allowing cannabis cultivation and sales through state liquor stores would add $300 million in combined tax revenues and savings to Oregon's budget.

Paul Stanford of the Oregon Cannabis Tax Act said the measure would also put a dent in illegal dealing of the weed.

"We want to take marijuana out of the hands of children and substance abusers, who control the market today, and put it in the hands of the state's liquor control commission and the age limit of 21 will be strictly enforced," Stanford said at a press briefing.

Supporters have two years to collect nearly 83,000 signatures to get the measure on the November ballot in 2010.

Not down.

The last thing I need is the government's greedy paws dipping into my satchel.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Hey dins -- 'round your parts, do employers drug test for weed? Or are you actually denied employment if you don't have THC in your system?

[Dinsdale]

Hey dins -- 'round your parts, do employers drug test for weed?

I think so... I make it a point to not live in that world, so I don't really care.


But I think on the whole, employers use the pre-employment screening as something of an aptitude test -- if you're too fucking stupid to pass a scheduled drug test, you're probably not the best and brightest the workforce has to offer.

[Goober McTuber]

“How the U & L rolls”. Haha. I get it.

[Dinsdale]

“How the U & L rolls”. Haha. I get it.

Give yourself a tongue, Romey McTuber.


But you don't know the half of it. Unfortunately, I can't find a link or anything to pics of the tee shirt that for decades was standard issue for NW Oregonians, which read : "I got rolled in Zigzag," which is a little town on the way up Mt Hood... next to Rhododendron.

[Mister Bushice]

“How the U & L rolls”. Haha. I get it.

Give yourself a tongue, Romey McTuber.


But you don't know the half of it. Unfortunately, I can't find a link or anything to pics of the tee shirt that for decades was standard issue for NW Oregonians, which read : "I got rolled in Zigzag," which is a little town on the way up Mt Hood... next to Rhododendron.

I wondered where the "I got deflowered in Rhododendron" T shirts came from.

Weird town names you got up there.

[Felix]

Not much happens in Cambridge

[understatement][/understatement]

[Dinsdale]

I wondered where the "I got deflowered in Rhododendron" T shirts came from.

Went through Rhododendron and Zigzag yesterday, matter of fact.

The rhodies are in bloom. Pretty sweet.

Weird town names you got up there

Maybe has something to do with psilocybin mushrooms growing everywhere in the greater Rhododendron/Zigzag area... I dunno.

[Diogenes]

Initiative backers said their plan would send 90 percent of the proceeds from the state's sale of marijuana to Oregon's General Fund, which could lower Oregonians' state tax burden.

Funny shit. Maybe if they had a lottery they'd lower the costs of education.


For the record, working nights rocks. Graveyard is the best though. You can hang at the bar a 8 in the AM and not be a derilict.

[Dinsdale]

Funny shit. Maybe if they had a lottery they'd lower the costs of education.

Like the lottery that the NFL took to the Supreme Court to block the state-run sportsbook (and lost)?

Or the 24/7 Keno game?

Or Powerball?

Or the video poker/slots machines in every freaking bar?

I doubt you'll find a state that gets more of its income from lottery games than Oregon (I'm sure such statistics exist somewhere, though). I know the income is high enough that they cook the books and hide it elsewhere because it's so ridiculously high.


Mexicans don't play the vidcrack. But they sure seem to reap the benefits... BODE illegals.

[Diogenes]

Funny shit. Maybe if they had a lottery they'd lower the costs of education.

Like the lottery that the NFL took to the Supreme Court to block the state-run sportsbook (and lost)?

Or the 24/7 Keno game?

Or Powerball?

Or the video poker/slots machines in every freaking bar?

I doubt you'll find a state that gets more of its income from lottery games than Oregon (I'm sure such statistics exist somewhere, though). I know the income is high enough that they cook the books and hide it elsewhere because it's so ridiculously high.


Mexicans don't play the vidcrack. But they sure seem to reap the benefits... BODE illegals.

Like the scam that Kali and most of the other lottery states run. They promote the state lottery as helping kids, then take the amount equal to the proceeds and pour it back into the general fund.

Except for Georgia. Thanks to Zell Miller.