Easiest fire investigation ever

[Q, West Coast Style]

BLUE RIVER -- An explosion destroyed a mobile home near Blue River early this morning, leaving the whereabouts of a woman unknown. Firefighters say there was nothing left but a burned shell.

Several firefighting crews were sent to the Rainbow Mobile Home Park on McKenzie Drive shortly after 1:45 a.m. Neighbors say a woman who lived in the home was unaccounted for but her car is still in the driveway.

Firefighters were still cooling off hot spots late into the morning while investigators try to find out what happened.


http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews ... e_hom.html

Mobile Home + Explosion + Near Blue River, Oregon = . . . Anybody? Dins?

[Derron]

I am going out on a limb here and guess that her fried carcass is in the wreckage.

In my 12 years as a paid/ volunteer firefighter, those good old mobile home's were responsible for about 8 fatalities that I was at.

Them sum bitches burn hot and fast. The fire is usually smoldering and fills said metal box with smoke, rendering the occupant very dead quickly. Home fills with smoke until it gets some air, and that bitch fucking explodes, and burns real hot and real fast.

In the rural areas, that box is usually down to the frame by the time the first engine rolls in.

It takes a bit to find the crispy critters, since the legs, arms and head quickly burn off, leaving the torso for last. The MX may have to get the screen out to find the bones and put them in a shoe box for the next of kin.

I went to one that got reported fairly early, it was charged with smoke real heavy, rolling out the seams. I got 2 guys on the 2 1/2 off to the side of the front door, and stuck an axe through the front plate glass winder, and that fire got some air and blew every fucking window out of the box and proceeded to burn to the frame, even with 3 lines going on it. That paneling and construction materials in the older homes burns realllll good.

[Risa]

so what's the best way to survive a mobile home fire? and was feeding the fire air intentionally? why would smoke inhalation take you quickly, but the trucker in the fireball survived for an hour? shouldn't the fireball have fucked with the air in the trucker's lungs?

[Goober McTuber]

so what's the best way to survive a mobile home fire?

Don't be any where near it.

[OCmike]

[quote="Derron"]
We were all a bit bored and figured everyone inside was dead already, so I said, "Hey, guys...watch this!", and stuck an axe through the front plate glass winder, and that fire got some air and blew every fucking window out of the box...quote]

[Derron]

From the amazing amount of intelligence displayed in the responses to my post, you all should have a clear understanding of why people die in mobile home fires, and why I now feel that most of you do live in mobile homes...eerrrrr trailers, and why those deaths and or your impending death due to your own stupidity your mobile home in a fire will not be a bad thing.

[Get fucked]

Get fucked.

[smackaholic]

I'm guessing from the info in the opening post, that maybe, just maybe, somebody mighta been cookin' up a little meth.

As for trailers going up fast, yeah, they will. So will most any house once it gets going. I suspect trailers go up quicker because they tend to not have any sheetrock. Sheetrock does act as a bit of a speed bump to fires.

And annie, I don't give a fukk who you are, you spend an hour minute in a smoke filled whatever, you is well on your way to gettin' dead.

But don't take my word for it, give it a shot.

[Sol]

From the amazing amount of intelligence displayed in the responses to my post, you all should have a clear understanding of why people die in mobile home fires, and why I now feel that most of you do live in mobile homes...eerrrrr trailers, and why those deaths and or your impending death due to your own stupidity your mobile home in a fire will not be a bad thing.

What did you expect in response to your post ... a dissertation? What you had to say was interesting, but probably not much left to say on the topic. There was an explosion; in a trailer park; woman missing; probably deep fried; trailer fires burn hard & fast; extremities burn fast while torsos take more time; sometimes you have to screen the bones; smoke inhalation is bad; the end.

Thank you for 12 years of service as a "paid/volunteer firefighter." So which was it? Paid? Volunteer? No matter. Important work you do/did, no question. HOWEVER...now you come in here & get your panties all in a wad because you didn't receive the response you SO DESERVED to your amazing post, and therefore, you incorrectly deduce that most T1B posters live in trailers. OH... and then the part where you wish the T1B posters to collectively DIE IN A FIRE. That somehow this is a good thing.

WELL, Mr. All Important Yet Grammatically Inferior Fireman Guy. Before you go making claims about the collective intelligence of those on this board, you might want to PROOF the very post where you level such accusations. Cuz not doing so, like, makes you look all dumb and stuff. :idea:

[Derron]

What did you expect in response to your post ... a dissertation?

Thank you for 12 years of service as a "paid/volunteer firefighter." So which was it? Paid? Volunteer? No matter. Important work you do/did, no question. HOWEVER...now you come in here & get your panties all in a wad because you didn't receive the response you SO DESERVED to your amazing post, and therefore, you incorrectly deduce that most T1B posters live in trailers. OH... and then the part where you wish the T1B posters to collectively DIE IN A FIRE. That somehow this is a good thing.

Nice melt Madam School Marm---for correctinb my oh so inferior speling and gramer...Speling and gramer smack is so frosh..for those who have no smack demselves....

No thanks needed..it was a job and a choice..thank you for your consideration..it was both paid and volunteer time...

I incorectly deduce that T1B posters live in trailers ?? From the posts, most probably live in a fucking cardboard box on the street, and a trailer would be a major step up...

I did not think the post deserved anything...you draw that inferrence...I posted some relevent facts, and the tards assumed:

1. You could even possibly survive more than about 15 seconds in a completely smoke charged metal box...der..duh..

2. Prove the collective intelligence of the posters...bwwahhaaaa.....When you put down the butane torch you are firing
your crack up with, be careful where you put it, you would not want to start your crib..errrr trailer...errr house on fire.

3. That I or anyone else gives a fukk about your speling and gramer sensitivty..or what you think about mine or anybody
elses post...

And please get out of your traielr fast ...if it does ketch on fyre...we need more red pencil types like yourslef to keep all the speling and grammer errors corrected.

Que the next melt in 5...4..3...2...1....

[Sol]

Melt? Nope. Next time try bringing the FIRE.

See here's the thing, DERRON. You don't like it here? You believe the posters are all trailer tards? Then LEAVE. Take your insolent attitude and your remedial smack "skills" and just walk away. Problem solved.

[Derron]

Melt? Nope. Next time try bringing the FIRE.

See here's the thing, DERRON. You don't like it here? You believe the posters are all trailer tards? Then LEAVE. Take your insolent attitude and your remedial smack "skills" and just walk away. Problem solved.

Says the tard after getting his ass kicked.

Insolent attitude ?? Hmmmm..cul de smack.....?? Here's insolence you piece of shit:

Fuck you and your enhanced posts..Fuck you and your fat trailer trash old lady ....

Fuck you and your invitation to leave.......Fuck you and all your trailer trash homies smoking crack on the corner..

[Truman]

Watching a tard self-plunger will never not be fresh.

Looks like somebody is struggling with the principle of Dinsdale's Maxim:

Illiterate posts questioning the Intelligence of other posters is a clear example of one kicking his own ass and an open invitation for Board immolation.

Or something like that.

So Sol twists your tail, and you break out the Smack version of WWI field artillery:

You're melting…
I kicked your ass…
You live in a trailer…
Your wife is fat…
You smoke crack…
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you + nine little flipper-off-er emoticon thingies

Clever stuff. Truly Smack-pantheon worthy. Hell, Derrrrron, you were only a "Go ahead and rack me now, Jim" away from seeing this thread permanently archived.

You really aren't very good at this.

[Risa]

1. You could even possibly survive more than about 15 seconds in a completely smoke charged metal box...der..duh..

if it's that easy, why hasn't that been used more often as a method of execution?

[PSUFAN]

bwaaahahahaha!

Risa, are we really looking for better methods of execution? The ones we have now will do just fine, thanks.

Heck, who knew you'd be so helpful in this way?