Italy........ stream of consciousness.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Many Italian's armpits smell worse than your average Brit's breath. Deoderant... have you heard of it?
What we consider "Italian Food" in The States in total bullshit. You have been hosed.
What's with the lunch meats, cheeses, and desserts for breakfast?
What's up with the hole in the ground for a "public" toilets?
I am still a bedet virgin.
Have gyms been invented in Italy yet?
Why does everyone smoke?
How do you get to work when it rains? (most people seem to tool around town on mopeds)
Pedestrians do not have the right way in crosswalks.
Those fuckers are crazy drivers.
Italian beer is pretty potent.
I still don't like wine.
Cinque Terre is beautiful.
Portifino is over-rated. I don't understand the appeal.
Walking through much of Rome reminds me of The Bronx circa 1985. What a shithole.
Florence is much nicer than Rome.
Why are there cops every 20 feet in Rome and Florence and hardly any in Milan?
Some hot chicks asked me to take a picture of them "holding up" the Leaning Tower of Pisa and I took a close-up shot of their titties and handed their camera back to them. RACK ME.
Who the fuck drinks their water "with gas"? Why must I pay 3.5 Euros for a liter of water?
What's up with the McDonald's every two hundred meters? Oh yeah... it's called a McRoyal Deluxe, not a Royale with Cheese, btw. I think.
What's up with faggots shushing everyone in the Sistine Chapel in English? Maybe all the murmuring was done by all the Gooks I saw.
I snuck a picture of the Statue of David (the real one) without getting bagged. Does Irie still post here?
Don't stay in Sestri Levante. Unless you want to be around a bunch of geriatrics. Good God.
Everyone speaks English in Rome and Florence. (except the cabbies, who feign ignorance)
All Italian cab drivers are thieves and will overcharge you unless if you let them.
Fuck Alitalia. Ruined two of my suitcases, delayed flights to and from. Overbooked flights. Ended up having return to Boston through Canada on the way home.
Did I mention fuck Alitalia?
Gelateria. Their ice cream is amazing. Again, you have been hosed if you think you're getting anything decent in The States.
I lost two pounds and ate like a pig for two weeks. Must have averaged walking a good 5+ miles/day. What's that in kilometers, you ask? Who the fuck knows....
Cappuccinos keep you very regular. Drank two cups with breakfast and had my morning constitutional within a 30 minutes every damned day.
Two weeks without ESPN and whatnot is just enough, thank you.
Milan is filled with gays and lesbos.
The Milan Duomo is much more impressive than the Florence Duomo, though neither compare to St Peter's Basilica....
Did you know that 333 milliliters = about 11.2 ounces?



I may post pictures at a later date. If you care....

I will add to my thread as I remember other details. If you care...

[RadioFan]

[Wolfman]

in this day and age---
a photo essay is a requisite to a travel thread
--especially if it includes large breasted Italian hotties !!

[tuff gong]

What we consider "Italian Food" in The States in total bullshit. You have been hosed.

Ok, I've been hosed. I only know from spaghetti and pizza. So what is Italian food if not this?

What's with the lunch meats, cheeses, and desserts for breakfast?

No shit. Not been to Italy but this seems like the European idea of breakfast - basically a deli platter.

Some hot chicks asked me to take a picture of them "holding up" the Leaning Tower of Pisa and I took a close-up shot of their titties and handed their camera back to them. RACK ME.

heehee. Yes, Rack you.

All Italian cab drivers are thieves and will overcharge you unless if you let them.

This makes me wince. I got so taken by cab drivers in Eastern Europe. It was usually in situations where I was cornered in some way, and it wasn't for much by my standards, but by theirs, well, I could just tell I was getting gotten over on, grrr.

I will add to my thread as I remember other details. If you care...

Yes. fwiw I care and I'm sure I'm not alone. This is a nice travelog. Thank you.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Walking through much of Rome reminds me of The Bronx circa 1985. What a shithole.
Florence is much nicer than Rome.

If you think Rome is bad, try Naples. Naples makes Rome look positively beautiful by comparison.

Two weeks without ESPN and whatnot is just enough, thank you.

Dude . . . ESPN???

[PSUFAN]

Terry,

ESPN is all about hyping mid-minors like UConn, Pitt and Syracuse. They need to establish an audience for their mid-week CFB schedule.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

If you think Rome is bad, try Naples. Naples makes Rome look positively beautiful by comparison.

I imagine it's even worse than you're thinking. Their garbagemen were on strike while we were overseas. I heard from some Aussies we met that the garbage was piled waist high throughout the city's streets.

Furthermore.... I enjoy Sportscenter/Baseball Tonight and whatnot before going to bed. Does that offend you?

[Atomic Punk]

Why do WE spell Italia as Italy, Roma as Rome, Napoli as Naples, etc.? Sounds like you did the tourist metro thing. No wonder you didn't like it there.

Unless you have friends over there, especially female natives, every male out there will try to rip you off as a tourist. They like Americans in general but hate New Yorkers.

Funniest thing about our Italian-American populous that talks about the homeland... is most of those guineas have never been there. Getting fucked by the Moors is prolly just one reason why those pompous versions in the north like Milano sneer at those dumb southern fucks.

If you spent time out in the rural areas of the country and knew one or two natives then you would have had a very pleasant time there.

The TV over there sucks ass but they are like Univision with all of the T&A that I can take for at least a few days while suffering w/o sports radio or TV.

I believe Alitalia is the state run airline and they are on strike every other week. They don't fucking care. I did fly Magnifica class (the front end) in one of their B-777's a few years ago and it was the best experience ever.

At JFK they have a lounge with free everything including internet (I posted on this board from there before the flight sitting there) and on the flight they served a 4 course meal.

Coming home, Alitalia went on strike and had to fly Delta back and it sucked big time. However, every time I've been there it has been a very good experience. You really have to know at least a native there so you don't fall into tourist traps or get ripped off.

The funniest/most pathetic thing is all of the US guineas that talk about their heritage but never go back to Sicilia. hahaha

[Dinsdale]

this seems like the European idea of breakfast - basically a deli platter.

That's odd -- I was raised in a European family, eating European meals daily, and I don't recall ever being served a deli tray for breakfast. For lunch and supper many, many times(and if it was hot outside, it was usually the only late meal served, unless we did up a good ol' American BBQ).

I'm sure at some point, I dug into the fridge and made a sammich from the constant supply of deli shit, but I don't think those dirty Euros I grew up with ever served me a deli tray for breakfast.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Why do WE spell Italia as Italy, Roma as Rome, Napoli as Naples, etc.? Sounds like you did the tourist metro thing. No wonder you didn't like it there.

Who says I didn't like it? For the most part.... I fucking loved it. But two weeks was just enough. We didn't travel with a group. My wife and I did hours of planning and research in advance. We even took some Italian lessons. We were ready. We explored just about everwhere on our own... we hired a Tuscany native to give us a one day personal tour of Pisa, Lucca, and Chianti. Also, we hopped a bus and did a half-day group thing in Tivoli. That's it.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

That's odd -- I was raised in a European family, eating European meals daily, and I don't recall ever being served a deli tray for breakfast.

Everywhere we stayed, a huge breakfast buffet was included. There were Deli Trays full of meats and cheeses like you might find at a work luncheon... except a much better quality of food.

[Dinsdale]

Everywhere we stayed, a huge breakfast buffet was included. There were Deli Trays full of meats and cheeses like you might find at a work luncheon... except a much better quality of food.

Doesn't suprise me a bit, really.

I was just shedding light on tuff gong's(silly) assumption that it's SOP for Europe...which I can tell you for fact isn't the case.

TuffG -- Europe's a biiiiig place, dude, with widely varying cultures.

[PSUFAN]

Europe's a biiiiig place, dude, with widely varying cultures.

Europe is...unknowable.

sin,

[Atomic Punk]

It really depends upon the region you're visiting for what the food will be like. In the US we have different styles also. It's no different there.

There is a much bigger language dialect difference over there than let's say the hillbilly Dale Earnhardt Sr. talk versus some Chowd. So when you say you and the wife took some Italian language lessons, you may have had just a base of words to pantomime with. One thing I've noticed is they kind of stay regional and like the very simple life.

They have 4 day work weeks, take 3 or 4 hour lunches to be with family and then get a paid 30 day vacation once a year.

When I stumbled over a rock and fell over the side of a castle and hit the ground 8 feet below and broke a few ribs... I mean when I drank a LOT of wine and tripped over a rock and fell 8 feet, the ambulance from 5 miles away in Todi showed up 45 minutes later. I remember the busty ambulance girl leaning over me with those big tanned titties, with that cleavage just soothing me as we drove down the hill.

Once at the hospital, the Italian girl I know shows up after they put me in a room with 3 old men on beds looking around at each other talking about this stranger being admitted into the room. An hour later, the local I knew came in chewing staff members' asses out and I had my own room. I was in there for 3 days and she stayed with me almost the entire time.

An American going over there with no local help? I'd still be over there. They had nothing to kill the pain either. Nothing they had worked. A nurse would come in and give my ass a shot of painkiller every so often and it still didn't help much. Nothing like screaming in pain when I coughed or barely moved.

You see the Italian maternal instict kick in and I was pampered the best they could the two weeks of recovery to get me healthy enough to get back on a plane.

I digress... but most of my visits have been very pleasant.

[Goober McTuber]

If you think Rome is bad, try Naples. Naples makes Rome look positively beautiful by comparison.

I imagine it's even worse than you're thinking. Their garbagemen were on strike while we were overseas. I heard from some Aussies we met that the garbage was piled waist high throughout the city's streets.

Furthermore.... I enjoy Sportscenter/Baseball Tonight and whatnot before going to bed. Does that offend you?

If you you’ve suffered through enough of Terry’s posts, you know that his wife wears the pants in that family. That means she’s got the remote. I imagine Terry watches a lot of BET.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Oh yeah... what's up with the "rose guys"? Every 50 feet or so in the major cities, some sand mvscal would jam a rose in my wife's face, face me, mumble something in some language or another, and hold his hand out. I really wanted to punch one of these fuckers in the face and piss on his roses.

There's a shitload of beggars too, but you see that in any major city. One thing I found particularly disturbing was the people who drugged a puppy or two, laid them out on a blanket, and fashioned a sign detailing how their puppy was very sick and they needed money to nurse them back to health. I hope they just gave them Benodryl or something to knock them out. I swear to Christ, you saw these fuckers set up every couple of blocks or so with their puppies and their signs.

[tuff gong]

Everywhere we stayed, a huge breakfast buffet was included. There were Deli Trays full of meats and cheeses like you might find at a work luncheon... except a much better quality of food.

Doesn't suprise me a bit, really.

I was just shedding light on tuff gong's(silly) assumption that it's SOP for Europe...which I can tell you for fact isn't the case.

TuffG -- Europe's a biiiiig place, dude, with widely varying cultures.

I should have crafted my statement with more care - I meant to make a casual observation, not to assume anything, nor to sound authoritative or generalize. I'm not sure what SOP means. In any case I bow to your profound expertise on the matter, based on your experience with the one family.

PSUfan, that made me laugh

So anyway, I 'm still wondering: what sorts of dishes would better represent standard Italian fare than what is usually served here?

[War Wagon]

Furthermore.... I enjoy Sportscenter/Baseball Tonight and whatnot before going to bed. Does that offend you?

If you you’ve suffered through enough of Terry’s posts, you know that his wife wears the pants in that family. That means she’s got the remote. I imagine Terry watches a lot of BET.

Bwa, Rack Goobs.

If it weren't for ESPN, there'd be no need to have cable. Seriously. Kinda' surprised they don't have it in Italy in the nicer hotels and bars/restaurants. I was in Taiwan 10 years ago and they had ESPN, CNN, etc. all over the place. Man, could I tell some stories about that place.

As for the 4 day work week, long lunches, 30 day vacations... there's a reason the American economy is the strongest in the world. We've got a stronger work ethic and we're not lazy bastards, for the most part.

Anyways, Rack ucant's travelogue. Always interesting to hear about other countries firsthand.

[Degenerate]

If it weren't for ESPN, there'd be no need to have cable. Seriously. Kinda' surprised they don't have it in Italy in the nicer hotels and bars/restaurants.

Some high-end hotels in Italy do have ESPN, but it's usually ESPN Deportes.

[War Wagon]

I'm not sure what SOP means.

Where do you work, or do you?

SOP = Standard Operating Procedure at most any company anywhere.

[Dinsdale]

I'm not sure what SOP means.

Standard Operating Procedure.

In any case I bow to your profound expertise on the matter, based on your experience with the one family.

Granted, your statements didn't come out as you intended, which happens to everyone. BUT...one example is all I need to refute something you painted as an absolute...it's that whole "logic" thing at work.


Although to assume my experiences with European cuisine are limted to one family would be yet another inaccurate assumption on your part, so I'm sure that's not what you meant either.

[Atomic Punk]

If it weren't for ESPN, there'd be no need to have cable. Seriously.

For a guy that has a lot of opinions about NASCAR, it explains why you are near the bottom of the NASCAR standings in the points. ESPN doesn't show the races either. You've found your inner Paul and Kaley.

[War Wagon]

If it weren't for ESPN, there'd be no need to have cable. Seriously.

For a guy that has a lot of opinions about NASCAR, it explains why you are near the bottom of the NASCAR standings in the points. ESPN doesn't show the races either. You've found your inner Paul and Kaley.

Huh?

I'm near the bottom of the standings because I homer for DEI and RCR. ESPN doesn't show Cup races yet, but they are getting it back next year, I believe. Rack that. WTF does that have to do with having or not having cable?

As for the "inner Paul and Kaley" lame smack attempt, I'll let that slide since you're incoherant most of the time, and a flat out imbecile the rest. Cracking back at you would be as useless as going at it with m2, and that's the truth.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I'll let that slide since you're incoherant most of the time

That's why I've stopped cracking on AP for the most part. I'd do it more if I understood what the fuck he was trying to say. Dude's a mess.

[tuff gong]

Although to assume my experiences with European cuisine are limted to one family would be yet another inaccurate assumption on your part, so I'm sure that's not what you meant either.

You may very well have vast first-hand experience, but this the only experience you cited and the basis on which you refuted whatever I said. However, I'm sure you're absolutely right and have untapped reserves of knowledge you could call up in support of whatever you state. I'm sure every word of what I say is ill-considered in some way and there are all kinds of holes in my feeble reasoning and is open to endless debate and correction.

War Wagon, it may be that every company everywhere uses SOP. I don't work for a company. At any rate, though it may be common knowledge, I just didn't recognize that particular set of initials. Please forgive my ignorance.

Is what constitutes true Italian cuisine also common knowledge? Am I showing more of my incredible ignorance, or is this just too boring? The topic was raised and never pursued. Am I the wrong individual to be asking questions or something?

[Mike the Lab Rat]

I haven't gone over yet, but my Uncle Don and his family did a couple years ago. He visited our "ancestral homeland" in Abruzzo (inland, near the mountains). While in the village my family still inhabits, he met our 3rd cousins and got shown the house where his father and grandfather were born. It is still owned by our extended family, who bought it from my great-grandfather about 60 years ago. My uncle and his family were treated like royalty. They were fed REAL Italian food - rustic Abbruzzese food like boar, lamb, square-cut spaghetti (alla chitarra), etc., and got loaded on the local wine. He said that they ate (and drank) for hours and that the key was pacing yourself. My cousins were chagrined to find out that the Abbruzzese dialect wasn't exactly the same as the Italian they learned in college (in a drunken cultural exchange, they learned new expletives and insults, while teaching some of our more colorful ones to the natives). The locals spoke passable English, even in a region considered the "Italian Ozarks."

The photos my uncle brought back showed amazingly beautiful scenery. I was surprised at how "true" our blood runs...some of the cousins in the photos show a strong family resemblance to those of us in the U.S.

My uncle also visted the tourist traps while in Italy, but he said the same thing that was mentioned earlier in the thread - to get a REAL Italian experience, get away from the beaten path and check out the rural spots.

If I ever get the money, I'm definitely going over.

[War Wagon]

The locals spoke passable English, even in a region considered the "Italian Ozarks."

Woah there, Lab Rat.

There's only one Ozarks, and unless you've been there, you really don't know what you're missing. It's simply beautiful country. I swear to God that if could earn a decent living there, I'd quit my job and move tomorrow. If somehow I can swing it, in about 20 years when I reach retirement age and pass the keys to the forklift off to someone else, I will head south. I wouldn't mind living in some rustic cabin near one of the trout streams about 50 miles from the nearest paved road.

Oh, and tuff gong? It's all good my man. Rack you for not being a corporate slave and for not knowing what SOP meant. You're a rare specimen.

[Atomic Punk]

MtLR, Abruzzo (or Abrizzi for the non-msvcals) is due East of where I spent most of my time in Umbria. It died out after WW2 and is very agrarian.

Wags, the NASCAR crack went over your head as most of the coverage is on the SPEED channel (it's on cable) and was on TNT (cable). MGO gets a "rack" in what you think the term means as well.

[War Wagon]

Wags, the NASCAR crack went over your head as most of the coverage is on the SPEED channel (it's on cable) and was on TNT (cable).

I've got the Speed channel and watch it on occasion for 'Raceday'. Too much 'Monster Truck Jam' the rest of the time.

Did you have a point you were trying to make, or just running your idiot mouth as per usual?

[Cicatrix]

Buy any nice shirts that you want to tell us all about?

[Mister Bushice]

you have been hosed if you think you're getting anything decent in The States.

If you include this fucking sleepwalk tour through Italy you posted up above, you're fucking dead on.

Have gyms been invented in Italy yet?
Why does everyone smoke?
Pedestrians do not have the right way in crosswalks.
Those fuckers are crazy drivers.
Italian beer is pretty potent.
I still don't like wine.

Riveting

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Buy any nice shirts that you want to tell us all about?

Funny you should ask. Most Italians are shorter and skinnier than your average American and they do seem to wear their clothes tighter than we do. Because of this, their sizes don't translate to what we are accustomed to. In every Italian clothing store, the largest shirt I came across was a XXL. It didn't fit me. I'd say it was somewhere between a S and M "in America." No shirts. Sorry...

[PSUFAN]

Why do WE spell Italia as Italy, Roma as Rome, Napoli as Naples, etc.?

Because WE speak English.

And as such, we are able to pronounce words and name cities without adding gay little "i"s and "a"s.

Grow the fuck up, wops - or we'll sack your cities again.

[PSUFAN]

There's only one Ozarks, and unless you've been there, you really don't know what you're missing. It's simply beautiful country. I swear to God that if could earn a decent living there, I'd quit my job and move tomorrow.

No smack is required in response to this.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

And as such, we are able to pronounce words and name cities without adding gay little "i"s and "a"s

They do throw you a curveball every now and then... for instance, it's Firenze, not Florencia or something.


And why did we Guido-ize Turin by calling it Torino during the city's Winter Olympics? I guess it was more sexy to use the actual Italian word.

[BSmack]

There's only one Ozarks, and unless you've been there, you really don't know what you're missing. It's simply beautiful country. I swear to God that if could earn a decent living there, I'd quit my job and move tomorrow.

No smack is required in response to this.

Sounds like the Adirondacks. Beautiful scenery and an economy that will only support you if you are a government worker or a waiter/ski instructor.

Of course it is possible to get those jobs. They require patience and some legwork.

[Terry in Crapchester]

If you think Rome is bad, try Naples. Naples makes Rome look positively beautiful by comparison.

I imagine it's even worse than you're thinking. Their garbagemen were on strike while we were overseas. I heard from some Aussies we met that the garbage was piled waist high throughout the city's streets.

Furthermore.... I enjoy Sportscenter/Baseball Tonight and whatnot before going to bed. Does that offend you?

If you you’ve suffered through enough of Terry’s posts, you know that his wife wears the pants in that family. That means she’s got the remote. I imagine Terry watches a lot of BET.

My point was that there are much better sports sources out there than the hype machine that is ESPN. You didn't grasp it, apparently. Big fucking shocker, that.

My wife hates BET, btw.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

My wife hates BET, btw.

Not allowed to watch that channel until she goes to bed, are ya?

[Goober McTuber]

I imagine it's even worse than you're thinking. Their garbagemen were on strike while we were overseas. I heard from some Aussies we met that the garbage was piled waist high throughout the city's streets.

Furthermore.... I enjoy Sportscenter/Baseball Tonight and whatnot before going to bed. Does that offend you?

If you you’ve suffered through enough of Terry’s posts, you know that his wife wears the pants in that family. That means she’s got the remote. I imagine Terry watches a lot of BET.

My point was that there are much better sports sources out there than the hype machine that is ESPN. You didn't grasp it, apparently. Big fucking shocker, that.

My wife hates BET, btw.

I grasped what you were going for just fine. Myself, I went for the humor angle, which even War Wagon got. You didn’t. Talk about your big shocker.

Your wife hates a lot of shit. You’re apparently the exception. Lucky you.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Myself, I went for the humor angle,

No, you swung and you missed, based on your assumption.