So, I have a date with an asseater this weekend...

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 2:34 pm

Dinsdale wrote:S'all's I'm sayin'.

I laughed.

Qbert · Post by **Qbert** » Sun Jun 18, 2006 6:08 am

.....right now...Branpocket's Crank is about to explode---->literally.

time for his "End Run"...RAID the Freezer?

i dunno...i'm gonna call BULLSHIT.

a.) she was on a Meth induced rampage and didn't show....err, got involved in some sort of 3-some.

b.) Mike Pocket BranBacker figured it out.

c.) it was bullshit.

Branny is a good dude....whatever happened--->just hope that the garden weasal was wrapped up to fight on for another day.

PrimeX · Post by **PrimeX** » Sun Jun 18, 2006 7:07 am

this thread needs to be 'chived. LMAO much?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Jun 18, 2006 9:47 pm

e wrote:capital RACK for 88.

Whoa! Gotta be a clutch post when e uses bolded CAPS. And I must concur. 88 made teh major funnay.

Mike Backer · Post by **Mike Backer** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 12:38 am

Damn! I didn't realize how much ass lettuce I was truly sporting until I ran the Norelco thru there!

I could have easily made a nice throw pillow or two with all my taint foliage, but that's neither here nor there. Below is a spot on illustration of the improvements I made in that department:

Exhibit A:
Ass, taint, and balls before

Exhibit B:
Ass, taint, and balls after

As you can see, it was an improvement well worth the time invested. And the styling paid off, because my freshly shorn choad received rave reviews. (Apparently, Mr. Cuban wasn't so kempt, you know, down there...) Anyway, this freak tongue boxed my hemorrhoids like she was Mike Tyson attacking a speed bag after Robin Givens burnt his breakfast. I don't know how she can top her performance from this weekend, but I'm damn sure gonna find out.

We are going out again next weekend.

And if I can get her tongue off my rusty penny long enough next weekend, I'll see how she reacts when I give her the ol' "Mike Backer".

TOUCHDOWN!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 1:14 am

Johnny Unitas' ever so pinched, pursed and just plain severe looking melon used as a visual means to describe Mike Backer's New & Improved Taint Landing Strip...

Yep, this one goes into the time capsule.

(Btw, in that pic Troy Polamalu looks a post modern Grim Reaper. Fuggen eyes of his are Mike Singletary scary...)

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jun 19, 2006 2:53 am

I'm watching the Mavs/Heat game right now. Every time they cutaway to a shot of Mark Cuban, I think of this thread and start laughing.

Good times.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 2:56 am

props, Mike Backer. Best thread in a long while.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 5:51 am

So did she at least tell you that your prostate was fine? Did you steal any food from her freezer?

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 6:26 am

Did her lips taste like billionaire ass?

Mike Backer · Post by **Mike Backer** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:32 am

^That, Bushice, I will never know.^

I told her that if she even so much as leaned in for a smooch, I will not hesitate to throw her into a headlock and choke her out. As a matter of fact, I told her it would be a good idea for her to wear a welder's mask just to get my point across. Less ever being known as the guy who tossed Mark Cuban's salad by proxy. (I have a feeling that will end up as someone's sig...)

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:51 am

Somebody please find a way to forward this thread to Mark Cuban. Make it happen. Dude would have to get a huge kick out of the notion of this...

...talking about tossing his salad by proxy.

Bare minimum, somebody pull a JiFR and call up the show and read a (somewhat) cleaned up version of it on the air. In the wake of Cuban's currently prolapsed turd cutter as a result of the most recent goings on in Miami I'm sure Romey would find such a read to be well on point and eminently rackable...

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 9:10 am

Mike Backer wrote: I will not hesitate to throw her into a headlock and choke her out.

bwahahahahaha

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 4:51 am

God Damn........ Funniest shit of the year.

Rack Branny.

I think you need to get her to "Monen Up" and post some pics.

BWA

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:50 pm

Just wanted to give my drive by rack to Mike, 88 and others. Great thread.

Terry in Crapchester · Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:57 pm

Van wrote:Bare minimum, somebody pull a JiFR and call up the show and read a (somewhat) cleaned up version of it on the air.

To clean it up to the point where it would pass FCC muster would mean that the thread was no longer funnay. Sayin'.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:35 pm

I just went to the store and at the check out they had a special buy of chocolate pudding cups, think of this and laugh some?

The Whistle Is Screaming · Thu Jun 22, 2006 8:10 pm

And that will be a wrap!

Rack Mike "the guy who tossed Mark Cuban's salad by proxy" Backer for the fine addition to the archives.

88 get's special recognition and a nifty certificate for his contribution.

T1B

So, I have a date with an asseater this weekend...

Re: So, I have a date with an asseater this weekend...