Homemade KY Warming Liquid
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- Eternal Scobode
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Weren't you a Boy Scout, dog?
I'm assuming by now you have a case of that shit (The warming KY, not the homemade improv) stowed away somewhere -- discretely hidden, yet easily accessible.
RACK the story.
Btw, in case the wife gets really adventurous ...
No heating action, but that stuff makes KY seem like sandpaper. 'sayin.
I'm assuming by now you have a case of that shit (The warming KY, not the homemade improv) stowed away somewhere -- discretely hidden, yet easily accessible.
RACK the story.
Btw, in case the wife gets really adventurous ...
No heating action, but that stuff makes KY seem like sandpaper. 'sayin.
Van wrote:It's like rimming an unbathed fat chick from Missouri. It's highly distinctive, miserably unforgettable and completely wrong.
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- Sir Slappy Tits
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- Eternal Scobode
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THAT IS FUNNY!!
and RACK your dumb fucking horny ass!!
I never heard of South African Peri-Peri powder before!!
I'm gonna stay away from that SHIT!!
but I had to look it up.... here are some exerpts..
Peri Peri
"I've used 'em all", said one convert, "and let me tell you... Perks Peri-Peri is like lightning in a bottle".
"It starts on the tip of your tongue, then heats up your whole mouth, warms the extremities, and, finally, explodes in your brain and your whole body tingles", said another.
Then there was the friend who remarked, with some humor, "it's so damn good, I don't care if it shortens my life!"
What they're talking about is the "flame from Africa", Perks Peri-Peri, a wonderfully hot and spicy marinade and basting sauce making its way onto the American market.
88, why don't you pass that story on to the company, maybe you and the MRS. can get a commercial!!
and RACK your dumb fucking horny ass!!
I never heard of South African Peri-Peri powder before!!
I'm gonna stay away from that SHIT!!
but I had to look it up.... here are some exerpts..
Peri Peri
"I've used 'em all", said one convert, "and let me tell you... Perks Peri-Peri is like lightning in a bottle".
"It starts on the tip of your tongue, then heats up your whole mouth, warms the extremities, and, finally, explodes in your brain and your whole body tingles", said another.
Then there was the friend who remarked, with some humor, "it's so damn good, I don't care if it shortens my life!"
What they're talking about is the "flame from Africa", Perks Peri-Peri, a wonderfully hot and spicy marinade and basting sauce making its way onto the American market.
88, why don't you pass that story on to the company, maybe you and the MRS. can get a commercial!!
Re: Homemade KY Warming Liquid
88 wrote:So, have any of you bastards try the authentic "KY Warming Liquid"? I'll probably never know what it is like. I'm interested in your impressions. And take my advice and don't go with a Peri-Peri/Olive Oil substitute. Not good. Not good at all.
The Kama Sutra product line is your friend.
all of those products work as advertised,
are not tested on animals, are not toxic,
are made with all natural ingredients (I think),
most are edible, and again -- they do work
as advertised.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/kama-sutr ... y-dust.htm
(since the hyperlink above doesn't work for the products)
You can thank me by starting out with the oil of love
and honey dust. She sure as hell will.
on a short leash, apparently.
- chowd103
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Holy shit!-
88- hilarious story. Visuals...man.
Funniest fucking thing I've read on these boards in quite some time.
Archive!
About 20 seconds into the event, my tongue bursts into fucking flames. It wasn't subtle. I suspect there was smoke. It was a goddamn 5-alarm blaze. I backed off, and said: "I'm going to go get some water."
The wife was still all good, but wiggling a bit. I dash into the bathroom and start washing my mouth out with cold water. I even tried wiping my tongue off with a hand towel. No fucking relief. I'm blazing.
As I turn to run to the kitchen to get some ice, the wife appears with her eyes looking like this: :o
88- hilarious story. Visuals...man.
Funniest fucking thing I've read on these boards in quite some time.
Archive!
Re: Homemade KY Warming Liquid
RACK it!
Well written, good read.
Although if I'm critiquing, I'd have to say that when using the literary technique known as "foreshadowing," you might want to be a little more subtle than:
Oh, and just a PSA, while we're on the subject -- just because she looks cute when she brushes her teeth and has that "rabies" thing going on with the foam around her mouth, it is still a VERY BAD idea to let her blow you with any remnants of toothpaste in her mouth...or so I've HEARD.
Well written, good read.
Although if I'm critiquing, I'd have to say that when using the literary technique known as "foreshadowing," you might want to be a little more subtle than:
I just about wrote the ending at that point. But I read and enjoyed until the end.88 wrote:I look around the kitchen and my eyes become fixed on a packet of South African Peri-Peri powder
Oh, and just a PSA, while we're on the subject -- just because she looks cute when she brushes her teeth and has that "rabies" thing going on with the foam around her mouth, it is still a VERY BAD idea to let her blow you with any remnants of toothpaste in her mouth...or so I've HEARD.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
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- Eternal Scobode
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Rack it up, 88.
just another note to add to Dins' toothpaste suggestion.
Whoever suggested that Altoids in your mouth while munching rug will give her some "extra sensation" must have been chowing at the Y on something with about as much sensitivity as mvscal at a naacp fund raiser.
Ole HH was not such a popular fellow that night. One minute, I'm king of the nightime world. The next minute she's fighting the dog for real estate with which to drag her cooze across the carpet. Ok, not literally, but I would have had about as much chance getting back in that night if I had sprayed her gash with some Ronsol and gone Hendrix coaxing the flames to grow higher.
just another note to add to Dins' toothpaste suggestion.
Whoever suggested that Altoids in your mouth while munching rug will give her some "extra sensation" must have been chowing at the Y on something with about as much sensitivity as mvscal at a naacp fund raiser.
Ole HH was not such a popular fellow that night. One minute, I'm king of the nightime world. The next minute she's fighting the dog for real estate with which to drag her cooze across the carpet. Ok, not literally, but I would have had about as much chance getting back in that night if I had sprayed her gash with some Ronsol and gone Hendrix coaxing the flames to grow higher.
Dinsdale wrote:This board makes me feel like Stephen-Hawking-For-The-Day, except my penis is functional and I can walk and stuff.
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To bad it's not the usualm, huh?Dinsdale wrote:Nice to see a solid entry for "huge post of the week" early on a monday morn-btw.
There's a pretty good blast in here as well...
http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewto ... c&start=25
Rack this thread, btw.
Need some video of this sequence ...
She starts splashing water on the gooch and screaming. At some point, she grabbed the towel that I wiped my tongue on and apparently transferred some Peri-Peri from my tongue to her eyes. Good lord.
Ingse Bodil wrote:rich jews aren't the same as real jews, though, right?
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Re: Homemade KY Warming Liquid
Rack it!
Reminded me of the...
Reminded me of the...
...stuff that Meds and Canibus used to do.Dear KY People,
Rack your excellent product! So me and Mrs. Skilla are chilling on the sofa a couple of weeks ago watching something on the USA Network, when this "KY Warming Liquid" commercial comes on...
Life's Pretty Straight Without Jimmy Medalions.
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Re: Homemade KY Warming Liquid
I miss that stuff tooElvisMonster wrote:Rack it!
Reminded me of the...
...stuff that Meds and Canibus used to do.Dear KY People,
Rack your excellent product! So me and Mrs. Skilla are chilling on the sofa a couple of weeks ago watching something on the USA Network, when this "KY Warming Liquid" commercial comes on...
:cry:
Terry in Crapchester wrote: But this board doesn't exactly represent reality.
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Rack it, Double 8.
But 88, you don't eat the shit, you sick bastard, you pack the shit.
I've doused my junk with everything from Icy Hot, Ben Gay, Nyquil cough syrup, squeezable margarine, Noxema, Tom of Maine's Peppermint Shaving Cream, and Extra Strength Tiger Balm before dropping anchor in some skank's puckered shit factory. Hell, I've even unloaded a can of cooking spray on my raging slab to kickstart the anal punishment. To date, however, my favorite isGunslinger wrote:Next time just use IcyHot.
But 88, you don't eat the shit, you sick bastard, you pack the shit.
When life hands you a park steak, you'd better motherfucking ISSUE it.
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Liberate Cascadia!
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