Do NOT Bite a Poisonous Tablet of Poison

Fraudingo · Post by **Fraudingo** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:47 pm

TRUST ME on this.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:50 pm

If this is a Frodo troll, I don't not trust your advice.

looks around for poison

As soon as I find something... no that stapler won't do it... if I find something poisonous I'll go ahead and... manila folders, no... I'll bite into it and test this theory... AHA! This tape record of last night's server! I'll pour some kethcup on it, eat it and prove your theory incorrect.

Fraudingo's Playboy Wife · Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:55 pm

I mixed all the chemicals in the house into a great big ball and left a sign for Fraudingo that said "Eat This."

LK-Pick · Post by **LK-Pick** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:58 pm

I did the same thing. The dust on the stairs was terrible, so I asked my lazy son if he wouldn't mind using a Swiffer on the hardwood floors, but then I dropped my bobby pins into the jello and he laughed and so I hit him with a flyswatter. The washing machine went off, and so while I'm adding fabric softener, a jet flew over the house which was very loud and annoying.

Dr. Detroit-9000 · Post by **Dr. Detroit-9000** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:00 pm

I think I am about to laugh my ass off, Dave.

I can feel it. I can feel it.

Ladder · Post by **Ladder** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:00 pm

Hello? Lil' help here.

Fraudingo · Post by **Fraudingo** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:02 pm

By way of explanation, my wife came home and caught me trying on her pantyhose and high heels.

I had to sleep in the guesthouse down near our trout stream. She was not happy.

Dr. Detroit-9000 · Post by **Dr. Detroit-9000** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:03 pm

Why must you mischaracterize my posts, Dave?

I think you should take a stress pill and we can talk this over.

LK-Pick · Post by **LK-Pick** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:07 pm

So then I took the dust ruffle and threw it at my son and said, "Listen Buster -- you need to shake this out." He said, "Mom, I'm watching 'Full House' -- come back in an hour," and so I went upstairs to rearrange my shoe trees. Then I flossed with dental tape, something I had never tried before and trimmed the hair in my nose. At 3:30, I swept out the broom closet.

Judge Wapner · Post by **Judge Wapner** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:09 pm

I'll allow this, but where are you going with this thread? Please get on with it.

Two-Wheeled Dolly · Post by **Two-Wheeled Dolly** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:11 pm

Am I just going to sit out here and rust, or have I become a lawn decoration?

El-Rushbo · Post by **El-Rushbo** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:11 pm

More Liberal claptrap. My friends...oh it's just so typical of the Clinton apologists to talk about dust ruffles, poison balls...do they really think we are fooled by all this?

Mr. Snerdley · Post by **Mr. Snerdley** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:12 pm

I dropped a poison ball in your Whiskey Manhattan, fat stuff.

Oxycotin · Post by **Oxycotin** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:21 pm

Wanna party like a liberal with me and my friends?

Velocat · Post by **Velocat** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:38 pm

Leave Dr. Detroit out of this, you liberal damn liberals. You aren't worth the powder to blow him to hell.

Astronaut Dave · Post by **Astronaut Dave** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:41 pm

Dr. D-9000:

Listen to Al Franken.

Listen to Al Franken, Doc, and learn.

Dr. Detroit-9000 · Post by **Dr. Detroit-9000** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:42 pm

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

Dave. I see no purpose in discussing this further.

Gene_Rayburn · Post by **Gene_Rayburn** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:44 pm

Dr. Detroit's eyes are so brown...

-that his brains must be made out of ____________________.

!zzzzzzubvol · Post by **!zzzzzzubvol** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:46 pm

My brain is all pissy today. It just feels scratchy and I'm irritable so you call all go screw yourselves. I need coffee and an antihistimine.

The air in here is foul. I'd get into it with you guys, but my ankles are swollen and I feel bloated.

Bleahhhhh.

LK-Pick · Post by **LK-Pick** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:50 pm

Here is what I do when my ankles feel swollen.

First, I take them down off the mantel piece

Next, I tell the guy, "Geeze, get off me for five minutes -- feel free to let yourself out."

Then I usually shake out the rugs in the back porch, because they get so dusty and full of dander. I like to eat peaches and have my silverware drawer arranged neatly.

Fraudingo · Post by **Fraudingo** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:53 pm

Here is another thing you don't want to do: run over your foot with a car.

In my case, it's a Hummer that was given to me for free by the Mayor of Oshkosh for some consulting work I did on their website. Nice guy, but the whole town smells like MaltoMeal cereal.

And licking an axe is something you never want to do, trust me on this one!

Granny · Post by **Granny** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:55 pm

This thread sounds like its done gotten into the Old Johnny Barleycorn.

bf · Post by bf » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:56 pm

Dr. Detroit-9000 wrote:I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

Dave. I see no purpose in discussing this further.

rack

Buttsprey · Post by **Buttsprey** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:00 pm

Mud fuck peddle.

Muck duff piddle-puddle cock mud wank.

I'll wipe your grandma off on my wank-stained fuddle paddle.

Velocat · Post by **Velocat** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:05 pm

Nobody kills a thread like the libby communist lefty Buttsprey.

God Hates Fags.

Jenny Big Piccalo · Post by **Jenny Big Piccalo** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:52 pm

Do not, I repeat, do NOT stick one's head in a hot bucket of boiling tar.

Suave Sammy G · Post by **Suave Sammy G** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:03 pm

~Your lips taste like wine as I taste your juices.
Your hair smells like a tropical rain forrest..

Tell me how big my crank is again~

Uncle Smegma · Post by **Uncle Smegma** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:27 am

Ah I am all warmed up.

Pray tell me how the essence of the shit under my foreskin tastes?

I feel your tongue searching for each morsel.

Pretend they are the morsels I cast upon the mirror for you to ponder their reflections whilst internalizing your morning shit, smelling your sister's arm pit stench while she showers, and while your eat half cooked eggs while you both fart.

Ah the glory.

Come fuck me while I find another lamb to replenish my smegma.

Oh sweet release. Her lips were like a woman's.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:50 pm

so let's have look at what we've learned, shall we?

spongebrain bob · Post by **spongebrain bob** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:59 pm

PSUFAN wrote:so let's have look at what we've learned, shall we?

you first

Dinsdale's bald spot · Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:03 pm

I'm so cold.

jap bitch · Post by **jap bitch** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:26 pm

i'm wet

Biggie's Ankle · Post by **Biggie's Ankle** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:51 pm

What's crack-a-lackin', mah dizzles?

Bizzyfelizzle · Post by **Bizzyfelizzle** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:04 pm

Biggie's Ankle wrote:What's crack-a-lackin', mah dizzles?

Take it to the Arrested Development thread, homey.

bbq's wife · Post by **bbq's wife** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:14 pm

I'm hungry.

magicat's wife · Post by **magicat's wife** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:22 pm

Ditto.

Cinder's Snatch · Post by **Cinder's Snatch** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:30 pm

bbq's wife wrote:I'm hungry.

Feed me.

free penis · Post by **free penis** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:42 pm

what's going on here

forum2 · Post by **forum2** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:44 pm

This looks like a fine place to set up shop.

Elvismonster's forehead · Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:15 pm

I'm not a runway! Please tell Delta to quit landing on me!