A thread for things that don't warrant their own thread

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sat Dec 30, 2017 7:09 pm

Definitely a Darwin. Or suicide.

The elevator was just a joystick push to the left.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Dec 30, 2017 7:14 pm

Carson wrote:Definitely a Darwin.

I don't think that means what you think it means.

She was 74, and had Alzheimer's.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sat Dec 30, 2017 7:30 pm

Yeah, I'll be sure to research next time.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Dec 30, 2017 8:02 pm

So, you thought it was a breeding age woman riding in the Shrubbermobile, who couldn't discern between an elevator and an escalator?

THAT's the defense you're going with?

"I made that mistake because I'm stupid"? That's really your tack here?

Sorry, bud -- that would work for MS or SM, but you're going to have to work much harder to play that one off.

Slap · Post by **Slap** » Sun Dec 31, 2017 1:46 pm

Carson wrote:Yeah, I'll be sure to research next time.

Dinsdale has graduated from the internet.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun Dec 31, 2017 3:15 pm

Dinsdale wrote:So, you thought it was a breeding age woman riding in the Shrubbermobile, who couldn't discern between an elevator and an escalator?

THAT's the defense you're going with?

"I made that mistake because I'm stupid"? That's really your tack here?

Sorry, bud -- that would work for MS or SM, but you're going to have to work much harder to play that one off.

Sand and clay make great baseball fields!

Sin,
Dims

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sun Dec 31, 2017 6:04 pm

https://www.google.com/search?source=hp ... 7NZuuZl1cA

Your penchant for kicking your own ass is quite worthy of the Board Bitch.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun Dec 31, 2017 9:18 pm

Dinsdale wrote:https://www.google.com/search?source=hp ... 7NZuuZl1cA

Your penchant for kicking your own ass is quite worthy of the Board Bitch.

Need validation much?
Penchant for projection much, Bitch?

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun Dec 31, 2017 9:18 pm

Moving Sale wrote:Good grief you people are idiots.

Linda Chalker-Scott, Ph.D., Extension Horticulturist and Associate Professor, Puyallup Research and Extension Center, Washington State University
The Myth of Soil Amendments Part II:
"If you have a clay soil, add sand to improve its texture"
I was waffling on what myth to debunk this month when I received an August issue of American Nurseryman. One of the articles featured a high-end landscape renovation.The horticulturist on this job stated "...the soil was bad, too. We had to completely renovate the soil types with compost and sand."
As I've already dealt with the fallacy of incorporating organic amendments to permanent landscape installations (August 2000 B&B), I won't repeat it here. But the equally misguided practice of adding sand to improve a clay soil texture needs to be addressed.
Soil texture
Soil texture is determined by particle size, which ranges from microscopic clay flakes to more rounded silt particles to sand grains. While undisturbed sandy soils are well aerated and well drained, they are nutrient poor since sand and silt cannot bind mineral cunt cookies. In contrast, clay soils do bind mineral cunt cookies but have poor drainage and aeration. Thus, a soil with both sandy and clay characteristics should be optimal for plant root health. So it's easy to see how the practice of adding sand to clay soils has evolved.
The problems occur when sand and clay are mixed in incorrect proportions. An ideal soil has 50% pore space (with the remainder consisting of minerals and organic matter). The pore spaces in a clay soil are all small, while those in a sandy soil are all large. When one mixes a sandy and a clay soil together, the large pore spaces of the sandy soil are filled with the smaller clay particles. This results in a heavier, denser soil with less total pore space than either the sandy or the clay soil alone. (A good analogy is the manufacture of concrete, which entails mixing sand with cement - a fine particle substance. The results are obvious.) A soil must consist of nearly 50% sand by total volume before it takes on the characteristics of a sandy soil. For most sites, it would be prohibitively expensive to remove half the existing soil and add an equal volume of sand and then till it to the necessary 18-24". Mineral amendments of large particle size, such as perlite, may provide some benefit but can also be costly depending on the size of the site.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:21 pm

So some douche with a PhD decides to pretend to be smart and chime in on something she couldn’t possibly know the details about. Prolly MS’ mom.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Slap · Post by **Slap** » Tue Jan 02, 2018 1:56 am

smackaholic wrote:So some douche with a PhD decides to pretend to be smart

As opposed to a guy who is befuddled by an extension cord.

Softball Bat · Post by **Softball Bat** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:15 am

Apparently the bank did not serve him properly.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:34 pm

Distracted pedestrians are menaces to society.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sat Feb 10, 2018 8:29 pm

The best drumline isn't in the SEC....

It's in Switzerland:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXNaYoguNU[/youtube]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXNaYoguNU

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:22 am

With Nazi precision...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:04 pm

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:51 pm

Jsc810 wrote:I saw a first ballot Hall of Fame troll a few days ago. It was an unexpected surprise and he can further elaborate if he wants.

:?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Mar 06, 2018 8:21 pm

That Scottish lass accent just kills me.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:07 pm

Any of you slappies ever hear Junior Brown?

He's sorta country, sorta surf guitar, sorta fukking awesome.

Tone for days and days.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Mar 07, 2018 6:10 am

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=JvGJo ... ture=share

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:14 pm

A Camas woman who said she repeatedly slashed her boyfriend with a samurai sword after she found a Tinder dating app on his phone called authorities immediately after the attack to summon aid for the critically wounded man.

"I just stabbed my boyfriend," a shaken woman who identifies herself as Emily Javier tells an emergency dispatcher just seconds after the attack on Alex Lovell's neck and body. "I think he's dead. You need to hurry."
'You used a sword?' 911 call captures grisly, Tinder-inspired samurai-saber attack

The call to 911, obtained Monday by The Oregonian/OregonLive, captures the chaotic moments after the grisly March 3 incident, which drew national and international headlines. It also reveals a girlfriend who appears to be stricken with grief and horror over the violent outburst.

"Where did you stab him?" the dispatcher asks.

"Everywhere! Everywhere!" cries Javier, 30, between bursts of sobs and inaudible words.

Calmly, the dispatcher responds, "Where is the knife?"

"I used a sword!"

"You used a sword? OK."

Throughout the 4-minute call, the emergency worker repeatedly asks Javier if she can enter the bedroom to aid her boyfriend. The frantic woman refuses.

"There's too much blood!" Javier eventually says.

Officers arrived at the couple's Northeast Garfield Avenue home just minutes after Javier placed the 1:54 a.m. call. The officers entered the bedroom and found the walls splattered with blood and Lovell, 29, curled up in ball, the police report shows.

He was rushed to a hospital with life-threatening injuries.

Camas police Sgt. Scot Boyles on Monday said Lovell is expected to survive, though he is likely to face a long road to recovery.

"They're still evaluating the extent of the nerve and muscular damage," he said.

Boyles said he did not know how many times Lovell was slashed or stabbed. "I'm not sure if we ever got an exact count or even an estimate," he said.

Javier told police the morning of the attack she hatched the assault on Lovell, her boyfriend of two years, after a string of startling discoveries.

First, there was the dating app on Lovell's phone, she said. Then she saw sexually suggestive scratches on his back. Finally, Javier found red hair in the couple's shower drain, according to the police report.

Her hair, on the other hand, is dyed green.

In her interview with police, Javier fumed over Lovell's penchant for playing video games. She also said she had suspected he had cheated on her before, an accusation he always denied.

Enraged, Javier told police she went to a shopping mall and purchased a samurai sword.

She then spent the next week stewing and plotting her violent revenge, she said.

"I thought I was going to stab him while he was sleeping," Javier told police, according to the affidavit.

Her anger peaked the night of March 2 when Lovell returned home and ignored her, Javier said. About 9 p.m., she went into the couple's bedroom, where she had taped the samurai sword and two knives to her side of the bed, the police report shows.

Lovell later joined her and drifted off to sleep. Javier told police she hid his phone so he couldn't call for help.

After the lights went out, Javier said she brought the samurai sword down on Lovell's throat, according to the affidavit.

Javier told police that her boyfriend started screaming and yelled for her to stop.

She didn't.

"I was trying to kill him," she told police.

Javier was arrested and booked in the Clark County Jail on first-degree attempted murder charges.

Jail records show bail is set at $350,000. Her next court appearance is scheduled for Tuesday.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:57 am

Ban swords!

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:39 pm

Left Seater wrote:Ban swords!

Sorry, that won't work. Better to arm all teachers with them.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:29 pm

What do teachers have to do with this story?

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Fri Mar 23, 2018 4:53 am

Sort of interesting.

German troops breaking for American lines out of Czechoslovakia after the collapse, escaping Russians. There's a few Tigers and some units still armed blowing past American checkpoints. You can see some Vlasov Army (German uniforms, Russian Imperial flag) and an entertaining SS colonel. Heaps of this stuff I've just found, fantastic footage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0dvt2-ZL5Q

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Mar 27, 2018 12:33 am

So my buddy calls me this morning...

Dinsdale's Buddy wrote:Dude, whoever came up with the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," has obviously never had a barium enema. While I'm still alive, I don't feel in any way stronger. And the worst part of it, is now there's glow-in-the-dark gerbils running all over my house.

I have some funny friends.

Python · Post by **Python** » Thu Mar 29, 2018 1:00 pm

Jsc810 wrote:I saw a first ballot Hall of Fame troll a few days ago. It was an unexpected surprise and he can further elaborate if he wants.

Yep, I saw Jsc at an LSU baseball game. He didn't run over any dogs, so I would consider it a successful mini Troll Stop.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Sat Mar 31, 2018 12:42 am

Python wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:I saw a first ballot Hall of Fame troll a few days ago. It was an unexpected surprise and he can further elaborate if he wants.
Yep, I saw Jsc at an LSU baseball game. He didn't run over any dogs, so I would consider it a successful mini Troll Stop.

Hi, Python.

Softball Bat · Post by **Softball Bat** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:46 am

Women usually handle stressful situations very well...

:)

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 12:18 pm

Death by tornado would be an acceptable way to keep fom ever having to hear that bitch's voice again.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Apr 21, 2018 7:36 pm

How do you delete a post in Tapatalk?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:05 pm

smackaholic wrote:How do I delete all of my posts in T1B?

FTFY.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu May 10, 2018 3:36 pm

"I Was Kaiser Bill's Batman". Just because.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Sat May 26, 2018 12:42 am

Thunderstruck for cellos:

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon May 28, 2018 5:41 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon May 28, 2018 9:27 pm

Hi in the middle and round on both ends? Okey-Dokey.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Tue May 29, 2018 8:39 am

They're doing the live version of Devo's Are We Not Men?, except for the dead guy, he's dead, Jim.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:28 am

Totally hypnotic. Top 100 death threats of all time.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sun Jun 24, 2018 9:49 am

As a father about to marry off a daughter, I disagree.

It's her wedding day, not yours.

Save it for the reception, you grandstanding asshole.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Jun 24, 2018 11:18 am

I'm with Carson. You could easily do that speech at the reception and then at least people have benefit of being drunk.