T1B

Derron wrote:

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

Luther wrote:"an Ann Coulter mouth that could shine a knob faster than Pledge could."

Nah. That's too clever a quip for Derron's little brain to ponder-up.

This is a reference to receiving oral sex from a hot wench Mogo

I missed the connection between Ann Coulter and "hot wench."

I don't know about you, Terry, but I generally get gristled up when walking by downed branches, or when I crayon out some sexy stick figures. Coulter is a goddess.

TenTallBen wrote:I went offshore to an oil rig once to fix an internet problem they had going on out there. Fuck that. They try to get me to do that shit again but hell no. Flying in a helicopter may be fun but landing on a rig in the Gulf of Mexico swaying back and forth ain't worth what I get paid.

Yeah, that stuff's crazy.

Derron wrote:

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Derron's little brain

PDX to Tampon... always usually through St Louis...

Alrighty then.

Derron wrote:so I can see where you would think this is clever....

No, it wasn't clever, nor was it supposed to be.

That was the whole point, Derron. It's called an "insult."

What I like about my job is that I never wear a tie. We have no offices. Every employee is a moving office with laptops, cellphones and wireless national internet.

The company has virtually no overhead , except for one building in Ohio.

So, generally on Friday during rush hour at the airport, I'm the one in a sweatshirt and jeans carrying 2 laptops. I dispise the assfucks with their blue tooths and dream of beating their heads in. Basically, my job serves me well. I dont want to be around coworkers, I want to be independant and make my own hours. I have a reputation of being sent into the angriest customer imaginable and leaving with a service invoice and a contract.

I'm real and dont bullshit people. Our customers range in demeanor all over the US. It helps that I had Southern Indiana customers coming up. Because, I learned from them how to really communicate and be relaxed. Some Hispanic in Orlando can be caught off gaurd by that and I really never talk about business.

So, thats the pizza business you dumbfucks.

Gunslinger wrote:and wireless national internet

Can't...stop...laughing


Glad I read that first line. But my run of having not read more than the first sentence of a TwiceSlinger post is still intact.

There are days when you gotta love mvscal. :) :)

'Slinger finally caught a break and is movin' on up in the world, while gushing about it at every opportunity to a bunch of strangers on a message board.

You can't help but laugh.

And feel pity.

OK, I broke down and read more.

Mr Big Time Salesman shows up in a sweatshirt and jeans.

Can a job negotiating defense contracts be far behind?

Yo, check it. Yo situation is fucked, dog. I'm here to unfuck dis shit. What I gotta do, yo? What I gotta do? Holla at me.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Yo, check it. Yo situation is fucked, dog. I'm here to unfuck dis shit. What I gotta do, yo? What I gotta do? Holla at me.

Yes, random pictures on the internet will get your friends to suck your cock.

Gushing?

You think after doing nothing the last couple of weeks, but insulting everyone that there isnt an agenda to this? You think I'm trying to impress a bunch of real life pussies on this message board. You're the type of joke I'm talking about.

Youre dying for someone to rack your pathetic random picture you found on the net and threw in a couple of "yo's". Thats what you call insults? Fuckpole, that reference to FUBU is going on 10 years. 10 years and you have to rehash an old reference that you have no clue what it references. That's comedy?

Dancing w/ the stars is a rerun tonight, grab some pizza and an Entertainment Weekly and get back to your pathetic life.

Dinsdale wrote:OK, I broke down and read more.

Mr Big Time Salesman shows up in a sweatshirt and jeans.

Can a job negotiating defense contracts be far behind?

I'm sure a job like yours that allows you to post from work all day has got to be ranked par w/ Taco Bell drive up err.. National Accounts Control Representative.

Dipshit, my customers arent in the fucking airport. Read you illiterate fuck!

mvscal wrote:

Gunslinger wrote:dream of beating their heads in.

But settle for leaving notes on their windshields like the worthless, chickenshit pussy we all know you to be.

Nobody gives even the slightest bit of fuck about you or your pointless life.

Yet you replied Captain Engulfing Negro Cock! and quoted it, which means you read it. I was just trying to get you riled up while you are waiting on your next hot prospect to buy that 1998 Camry on your lot.

You know youre a fucking used car salesmen. I know it, everyone else knows it.

Gunslinger wrote: Read you illiterate fuck!

Absolutely priceless.

You might try properly punctuating your sentences the next time you try and roll out the "illiteracy smack."

Priceless.

I once took a business trip to London, shortly after I killed Paul Allen in my apartment with an axe to the face. I spent the majority of my time mulling over business problems, examining opportunities...exchanging rumors...spreading gossip. I also met Cliff Huxtible for a lunch meeting, which I paid for with my P&P American Express card.

Patrick Bateman wrote:I killed Paul Allen

May Blazerfan buy you a beer or two?

Mister Bushice wrote:There are days when you gotta love mvscal. :) :)

You mean his 3rd grade insults, to which you debate like he's fucking Socrates against, doesnt still get you riled up?

Seriously, I love reading your replies to this dipshit. It reminds me of that Adam Sandler skit of the Mexican guy.

Mvscal: My dog eats his own shit.

Bushice: Naturally dogs have a tendency to believe that eating their own fecal matter will enable them to be more elusive to predators.

Dinsdale wrote:

Gunslinger wrote: Read you illiterate fuck!

Absolutely priceless.

You might try properly punctuating your sentences the next time you try and roll out the "illiteracy smack."

Priceless.

It was in a separate paragraph.

Separated by 2 empty fucking lines.

How much more obvious could it have fucking been then for me to have hopped on said plane, flown to your house. Screamed it in your face. Fixed a hot bowl of Alphabet Soup. Spelled it in the soup bowl, grabbed you by your head. Slammed it in the table while breaking the bowl. Dragging you through the house to your bathroom. Shitting in your toilet. Dunking your head in the toilet. Screaming it in your face again. Finally punting you off the roof.

So, you ran illiteracysmack, completely botched the punctuation in doing so, and are now attempting to save face by typing in sentence fragments?

Oh, you ARE a clever one.

Dinsdale wrote:

Gunslinger wrote:and wireless national internet

Can't...stop...laughing


Glad I read that first line. But my run of having not read more than the first sentence of a TwiceSlinger post is still intact.

Dude! Seriously, your credibilty is less solid than OJ's.

Seriously. How can you trump yourself in the same fucking thread. How? How can you be so blatantly fucking ignorant to make a point about something later in the post, then come up with this glorious example of how you are a fucking retard?

I didnt even have to search this dumbshit out. You threw the ball directly at my bat and I just watched the ball return and hit you in the nuts.

Dinsdale wrote:So, you ran illiteracysmack, completely botched the punctuation in doing so, and are now attempting to save face by typing in sentence fragments?

Oh, you ARE a clever one.

What? Are you having a conversation with someone else here? Is invisi text on and I cant see it?

Gunslinger wrote:That's comedy?

Oh, yes, of the highest order.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

Gunslinger wrote:That's comedy?

Oh, yes, of the highest order.

You created it. You still piss your pants when told youre going to get a chicken nugget happy meal. I already realize that most posters are Larry the Cable Guy quality of insulting and what is funny.

mvscal wrote:No real surprise to see Guntslinger seething with envy and insecurity of people who are clearly superior to him in every quantifiable aspect of life.

Don't hate us because you are subhuman.

Actually I'm waiting on something and my laptop is all I have.

Plus, I posted a normal post. To which the fun began. Trust me I dont envy your life of servicing young black males in order to lower the crime rate. I dont envy that at all.

Dinsdale wrote:

Gunslinger wrote:and wireless national internet

Can't...stop...laughing


Glad I read that first line. But my run of having not read more than the first sentence of a TwiceSlinger post is still intact.

Dude! Seriously, your credibilty is less solid than OJ's.

Dinsdale wrote:OK, I broke down and read more.

Read, you illiterate fuck.

How can you be so blatantly fucking ignorant

So, how's that grammarsmack working out for you?

Good god, you're an idiot. You might try sticking with words that you actually have some clue as to their meaning, Remedialenglishslinger.

I didnt even have to search this dumbshit out. You threw the ball directly at my bat and I just watched the ball return and hit you in the nuts.

If you claim it, it will come...


Yeah, I suppose every time you butcher the language, it gives you BODE, and makes everyone else a retard.



You GO, boyeeeee!

Gunslinger wrote: What I like about my job is that I never wear a tie. We have no offices.

Hence the reason you don't wear ties.

Gunslinger wrote: The company has virtually no overhead , except for one building in Ohio.

Sucks to be Ohio for having one.

Gunslinger wrote:
So, generally on Friday during rush hour at the airport, I'm the one in a sweatshirt and jeans running off with 2 stolen laptops.

FTFY

Gunslinger wrote:
I dispise (sic) the assfucks with their blue tooths and dream of beating their heads in.

Your imaginary job with no office is a perfect fit.

Gunslinger wrote:
Basically, my job serves me well. I dont want to be around coworkers, I want to be independant and make my own hours.

Actually, it sounds like you serve well... if you know what I mean.

Gunslinger wrote: I have a reputation of being sent into the angriest customer imaginable and leaving with a service invoice and a contract.

Yes, I'll agree that you definitely have a reputation.

Gunslinger wrote: I'm real and dont bullshit people.

You're real as in being a fat, short, FUBU gear wearing tard.

Gunslinger wrote:Because, I learned from them how to really communicate and be relaxed. Some Hispanic in Orlando can be caught off gaurd by that and I really never talk about business.

Which explains why you are so successful.

Gunslinger wrote: So, thats the pizza business you dumbfucks.

It really sounds like it by your descriptions. Question though... Why would you have any need for a laptop? It clearly doesn't make you look smarter nor has the correct program installed to make you look less like a total fucking loser.

So retarded, on so many levels.

The company has virtually no overhead , except for one building in Ohio.

The airlines comp their employees plane tickets...you know, the ones that compell you to go to the airport?

They give you that high-end "national internet" for nothing?

Dell ponies up laptops because it's great advertising to see such a literate businessman as yourself carrying them?

The Master of Literacy wrote:dispise

independant

dont

Our customers range in demeanor all over the US.

Because,

gaurd

But my favorite --

sent into the angriest customer imaginable

Twice?

A traveling businessman like Dungslinger wearing a sweat top, jeans, and "dispising" blue tooth users in suits at airports, as he carries his two laptops in those insulated delivery bags is kind of humorous also.

When he hits Orlando, the Hispanics take those delivery bags, pat him on the head and say, "Gracias el Gordito."

Cumslinger wrote:

Dinsdale wrote:So, you ran illiteracysmack, completely botched the punctuation in doing so, and are now attempting to save face by typing in sentence fragments?

Oh, you ARE a clever one.

What? Are you having a conversation with someone else here? Is invisi text on and I cant see it?

Reading your fucking rambling posts he may has well be.

Stay away from the computer after sparking 1 or 20 rocks up.

Atomic Punk wrote:as he carries his two laptops in those insulated delivery bags

You mean like one of these?

Yes but remember he was carrying two of them.

Ah. This should work, then

Dinsdale wrote: Dell ponies up laptops because it's great advertising to see such a literate businessman as yourself carrying them?

yeah they barter the ones with flakey comma keys for mistake pies. I propose that from here on all cumslinger pileons be comma free in his hnor.

I travel on gov't biz about 30% of the time. In fact, I'm on travel now (in Harrisburg, PA). Most trips are 4-5 days in duration, to places like New Orleans, Pascagoula, San Diego, Norfolk, Orlando, and Port Hueneme. Being single and having none of my kids living with me anymore, I enjoy the travel. Harrisburg isn't the most exciting locale, although I did enjoy just hearing some dude check in and bitch about not being able to find this hotel, and ending up out in Hershey on this rainy night. I was laughing inside listening to him whine to the desk clerk.

Per diem doesn't suck, either. Neither do frequent flyer miles.

Dinsdale wrote:So retarded, on so many levels.

The company has virtually no overhead , except for one building in Ohio.

The airlines comp their employees plane tickets...you know, the ones that compell you to go to the airport?

They give you that high-end "national internet" for nothing?

Dell ponies up laptops because it's great advertising to see such a literate businessman as yourself carrying them?

The Master of Literacy wrote:dispise

independant

dont

Our customers range in demeanor all over the US.

Because,

gaurd

But my favorite --

sent into the angriest customer imaginable

Twice?

Internet free. Company Car free. Company Credit Card to cover food expenses free. Company card to cover vehicle expenses free. Company laptops free. Me traveling free.

Any of you dumbfucks want to post your jobs. Do it quick, I'm taking a shit and wont be here long in fact I just dropped Atomic Punks kid off twice and I'm done.

Atomic Punk wrote:A traveling businessman like Dungslinger wearing a sweat top, jeans, and "dispising" blue tooth users in suits at airports, as he carries his two laptops in those insulated delivery bags is kind of humorous also.

When he hits Orlando, the Hispanics take those delivery bags, pat him on the head and say, "Gracias el Gordito."

Yep! Fucking hilarious.

Gunslinger wrote:The company has virtually no overhead

Internet free. Company Car free. Company Credit Card to cover food expenses free. Company card to cover vehicle expenses free. Company laptops free. Me traveling free.

I expect your travelling days will be over soon, and the company will be promoting you to head up the accounting department any day now.


Dear god...

Gunslinger responding to Dins on page 3 wrote:
How much more obvious could it have fucking been then for me to have hopped on said plane, flown to your house. Screamed it in your face. Fixed a hot bowl of Alphabet Soup. Spelled it in the soup bowl, grabbed you by your head. Slammed it in the table while breaking the bowl. Dragging you through the house to your bathroom. Shitting in your toilet. Dunking your head in the toilet. Screaming it in your face again. Finally punting you off the roof.

This alone is the funniest post yet. Wolfman reset:

Flew to Dins house--
Big runway there!///
Screamed!!
alfabit soup assured of misspellings...
Bathroom in CNY --
Again
Screaming!! ---
Then off the roof!

Gunslinger gets 'national internet'?

Goddamn...my range is limited to 3 neighboring counties.

I'm trying to remember here: wasn't Gunslinger trying to sign on as a Katrina volunteer last year and being rejected by every agency to which he offered his services? I seem to recall him expressing frustration in here that nobody would take him on. Then again it's often hard to decipher what he's trying to say.