There's something happening here..

[Tom In VA]

Jack,

If you don't see the similiarities in this thread with other news and politically oriented threads posted in the "SMACK" forum, then you have clearly not "learned from history".

Maybe a "SRO" flag on your thread would have done the job, but I'm not sure.

I'll bite though and seriously respond to your thread.


The Navy. The Navy has ships, these ships float in the water and on these ships -- in the water -- there are sailors. Sailors are also known as SEAMEN. So we keep sending out these long objects filled with SEAMEN and the people living near where we send them don't like that, so they try to blow them.

Therefore, in both situations, we're dealing with people who like to blow long objects filled with seamen, like cocksuckers. To break it down further, to "learn from history" as you say, it would behoove us to go ahead and leave the rotten cocksuckers of the world, alone. And to quit buggering them with our long object filled with seamen.


Is that your point ?

[Jack]

Sure thing, Dins.

If anyone did not respond to the previous ones, I consider that agreement with me but an inability or unwillingness to admit it!

So, now, next question..

who thinks Iran is a threat to the US?

[Dinsdale]

If anyone did not respond to the previous ones, I consider that agreement with me but an inability or unwillingness to admit it!

Dude, seriously...

What's next? A rousing round of "neener neener neener"?

HEY JACK! How many grains of sand are there on the beach?

Wha? You can't answer? That means I have BODE.


Are you trying to be this big of a tool, or does it come naturally?

who thinks Iran is a threat to the US?

Uhm, if this is an example of Iran's "naval might"... is this a serious question?


The only people who see Iran as a threat also believe in the boogeyman.


But we must be vigilant. So if the Iranian Navy starts heading across the Atlantic, somebody give me a shout and we can deal with it then... in about 5 minutes. The Invincible Ahmada doesn't particularly terrify me... but the military-industrial complex stands to gain a no-bid ton if people buy into it, and since YOU MOTHERFUCKING RETARDS decided to put leaders of the military-industrial complex in charge, some bullshit propaganda/outright lie (sup Gulf of Tonkin) will convince you weak-minded fools that they're out to get you.


What WERE you morons thinking when you voted war profiteers into office, anyway? This actually seemed like a good idea to you at some point?

[Dinsdale]

Iran developing nuclear weapons. Nope it's all just a figment of some unscrupulous war profiteer's imagination.

I guess if you'd cracked a newspaper in the last month or so, you'd understand why this so so fucking funny.

[Dinsdale]

Iran blockading the Straights of Hormuz

Uhm, yeah, Einstein -- I'm sure the other Gulf States would stand for that.


How are you typing this shit with a straight face (assuming you are)?

[Dog]

So, Dins disagrees with mvscal who says there are NO SIMILARITIES between the current incidents in the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Tonkin incident..

anyone else?

Yeah, count me among those who believe you to be a tard.

And this is probably only the second time I can remember agreeing with mvscal.

[Tom In VA]

"There's something happening here
And our position, is ab-so-lutely-clear"

[Cuda]

mv,
Jack left out some other convincing similarities (I don't know why).

1) In both Gulfs, the water is not only wet, but deep enough for the vessals to travel in.

2) 1st incident - The President was Johnson, where Johnson is another name for a "penis." 2nd incident - The President was Bush, where Bush is another name for a "vagina." Obviously a penis and a vagina go together.

You forgot the fact that Johnson & Bush were both Texans.

This conspiracy runs deeper than anybdy previously thought!

[RadioFan]

mv,
Jack left out some other convincing similarities (I don't know why).

1) In both Gulfs, the water is not only wet, but deep enough for the vessals to travel in.

2) 1st incident - The President was Johnson, where Johnson is another name for a "penis." 2nd incident - The President was Bush, where Bush is another name for a "vagina." Obviously a penis and a vagina go together.

RACK it.

<INSERT VIDEO OF Dan Ackroyd playing Jimmy Carter talking down a guy having a bad acid trip here>

Bwaah!

Excellent.

[Mikey]

Damn. I fucked up by missing out on this thread yesterday. For some reason I thought it was just a reset of another thread, from a few months back, that had the same name. I prolly could have added some timely comments about the brown acid.


You guys have pretty much beaten Jack into the ground, though he probably still thinks he's "winning" this thing. There's one leftover item left hanging, though, that I think I can help out on...

Then again, I'm still trying to figure out what "noone" means -- maybe a canadian variant of "midday"?

Noone is the guy who was trying to screw Mrs. Brown's daughter whilst looking for the missing milk delivery.

[smackaholic]

somebody looking for me?

[Jack]

You will explode after a few minutes!

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/ ... e.dept.DOD" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://www.kansascity.com/news/world/story/436488.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

President Bush on Tuesday denounced the incident.

“It is a dangerous situation,” he said during a White House news conference. “They should not have done it, pure and simple. … I don’t know what their thinking was, but I’m telling you what my thinking was. I think it was a provocative act.”

The audio and video recordings were made separately but were pulled together by the Navy. Internal Navy transmissions can also be heard.

The Hopper was in the lead, followed by the cruiser USS Port Royal and the frigate USS Ingraham.

The top Navy commander in the gulf said the Iranian boats charged at and threatened to blow up the convoy as it passed near but outside Iranian waters. The Iranian fleet “maneuvered aggressively,” then fled as the U.S. ship commanders were preparing to open fire, Vice Adm. Kevin Cosgriff said. No shots were fired.
****

I claim post #69!

[Jack]

I understand that many of you do not see this incident as significant... but I do think it is.

Bush has called Iran's actions provocative.

Iran is claiming that the US is creating phony videos.

Iran Accuses U.S. of Faking Persian Gulf Video

Stephen J. Hadley, national security adviser, again warned Iran, saying that it had “to be very careful about this, because if it happens again, they are going to bear the consequences of that incident.”

Keep an eye on Iran and the Persian Gulf. If, we do attack Iran, it is a godd bet that the Gulf will be the starting point.

[Dinsdale]

If, we do attack Iran, it is a godd bet that the Gulf will be the starting point.

Fuckin'A dude, they should probably find you a position on the Joint Chiefs.

You mean if a country that has military in and around the Gulf were to attack a country that has about 8,000,000 miles of coastline along the Gulf, and much of their military resources in the Gulf...


they might start in the Gulf?

Damn, this is the sort of unique insightfulness that makes Jack such a well-respected intellect around here.

[Mister Bushice]

Bush has called Iran's actions provocative.

Did anyone ask Bush if iran is a provocative sovereign nation?

[Mister Bushice]

Well, Sovereign means, well that they're sovereign.

Does that help?

[Jack]

If, we do attack Iran, it is a good bet that the Gulf will be the starting point.

Fuckin'A dude, they should probably find you a position on the Joint Chiefs.

You mean if a country that has military in and around the Gulf were to attack a country that has about 8,000,000 miles of coastline along the Gulf, and much of their military resources in the Gulf...


they might start in the Gulf?

Damn, this is the sort of unique insightfulness that makes Jack such a well-respected intellect around here.

Dins, to help you.

Iran’s coastline includes 2,440 kilometers on the Persian Gulf and Gulf of Oman and 740 kilometers on the Caspian Sea.
That is 1516 miles and 459 miles.. You were slightly off at 8,000,000.

Iran's land area is 1.636 Million SQ KM. which is 1,016,561 square miles.

If you took math, you might understand the ratios and that Iran has much more land area than coastline.



Instead of trying to slam without any knowledge or intelligent input. I advise that you read and understand.
It may help you when you are trying to converse.

Are you aware that we have ground troops in Afghanistan and Iraq?
Note the location of both of those countries in comparison to Iran.

[Dinsdale]

If you took math, you might understand the ratios and that Iran has much more land area than coastline.

Yeah. I suppose if I would have taken some sort of geometry class, I might understand that a "line" is infinitesimal (yeah, I took English, too), and has exactly ZERO area. Because where I took math, they actually taught us about that whole "dividing by zero" thingy. Not sure if they covered that in your special ed class or not, Special Ed.


So, Iran doesn't have "much more land area than coastline" -- it has infinitely more land than coastline.



But that was a pretty sweet job you did running that math-smack, buddy. But next time, you might wanna actually brush up on what you're trying to talk about, and you might avoid going yard on yourself... next time.

[Jack]

Thanks for the tips!

Are you sure that you are not a mohel!

[Dinsdale]

Thanks for the tips!

Dude -- you don't get "tips" when you post. You get the whole damn thing, balls-deep.

[Jack]

It only felt like a tip..

Maybe you should try one of those pills.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

It only felt like a tip..

Maybe you should try one of those pills.

[War Wagon]

Ok, seriously stupid questions here. Look at that map and tell me how wide the Straight of Hormuz is at the narrowest point. 50 miles at most? Maybe less?

So I'm wondering how much territorial boundary Iran claims. I believe the standard is like 8 miles, but some countries claim more, up to 20? Again, I'm just asking some stupid questions here...

So how wide are International waters in this space? Seems like it'd be very easy for a ship to possibly be out of that space, or at least for Iran to claim they were.

I'll hang up and listen to mv's unkind reply.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

It was a clear provocation on the part of the Americans.

This is not a war that will benefit America in any way.

[War Wagon]

About 20 miles at it's narrowest point. The shipping channels in both directions are very clearly defined.

After a bit of research, I found two conflicting reports. A wiki article said it was 21 miles at the narrowest point, while Encyclopedia Britannica claims it's 35 miles.

They also say that the shipping lanes are 6 miles wide, which would seem to be plenty of room.

The Iranians were certainly probing to see how far they can push. Evidently, we will fire on them if they get closer than 200 meters.

Often times, I try to look at a story such as this from the opposite perspective. As in, how does it feel to Iranians to have an American destroyer sailing right the fuck into your backyard, and there's not a damn thing you can about it?

I mean, they should be used to it by now, but I'm sure it just freaks them the fuck out seeing a behemoth of a warship capable of eradicating their entire Navy (chuckle) in one fell swoop.

That said, those sand nogs in fast boats must have ready to join Allah in paradise that day. If it happens again, they'll most likely get their wish.

[Dr_Phibes]

The hysterical blathering coming out of the Pentagon is, quite frankly, embarassing. You either fire on the vessels if you think they are a threat or you ignore them if they aren't.

No, they simply have no respect for their audience. The audio of the film is hysterical.

U.S.S. BombBristle: This is the good ship GoodGuy! Please leave us alone and let us carry out our mission of freedom and the UN loves us and said it's O.K.! Pretty please??

Iranian Warbird: You.. blow...up.....DIE!....ten seconds...tie woman to train track......ahahahahahahaha!!

If the pentagon had any self respect they would have wytched black hats and big taches on the speedboat crew.

[Jack]

It only felt like a tip..

Maybe you should try one of those pills.

That's a good one, until you realize you just admitted to taking it up the ass.

Not really! It only touched the top of a hemorrhoid on my hairy ass!!

[Dog]

Often times, I try to look at a story such as this from the opposite perspective. As in, how does it feel to the residents of Hiroshima to have a mushroom cloud over their city, and there's not a damn thing you could do about it.

But as an American, it felt PRETTY DAMN GOOD!

[bbqjones]

lol@mvscal

[smackaholic]

No, they simply have no respect for their audience. The audio of the film is hysterical.

U.S.S. BombBristle: This is the good ship GoodGuy! Please leave us alone and let us carry out our mission of freedom and the UN loves us and said it's O.K.! Pretty please??

Iranian Warbird: You.. blow...up.....DIE!....ten seconds...tie woman to train track......ahahahahahahaha!!

If the pentagon had any self respect they would have wytched black hats and big taches on the speedboat crew.

not quite rack worthy, but, pretty funny anyhoo.

You may now return to your pathetic commie wimperings.

[Cuda]

It only felt like a tip..

Maybe you should try one of those pills.

That's a good one, until you realize you just admitted to taking it up the ass.

I thought it was a hotdog-rolling-down-a-hallway / BlondieBabe reset

I was about to rack it

[Goober McTuber]

Well that’s understandable, Cooter. For you, any BlondeieBabe reset is literary genius.

[Cuda]

What?

Is the BlondieBabe thing a sore point with you?

Does she remind you of your mother?

She should; she reminds everybody else of your mother.

[Goober McTuber]

It’s not a sore point, it just often seems to be all you’ve got. You also aren’t making a lot of sense (nothing new there). I love my mother. Why would something that reminds me of my mother be a sore point?

You’re much more likely to remind me of my mother. She’s pushing 80 with early stage Alzheimer’s. She also repeats herself and doesn’t always make sense. She doesn’t hang from Biggie’s nutsack, though, so I should be able to tell you apart.

[Cuda]

So you're saying...

you love me?

Why, goobs, I had no idea you cared.

Fuck off, just the same

[Goober McTuber]

So you're saying...

you love me?

No, that's just my smarminess shining through.

[OCmike]

Ok, seriously stupid questions here. Look at that map and tell me how wide the Straight of Hormuz is at the narrowest point. 50 miles at most? Maybe less?

About 20 miles at it's narrowest point. The shipping channels in both directions are very clearly defined.

If you have to shoot...shoot. Don't talk.

--Tuco

First off, RACK Tuco!

Second, you know how you know you've gone through the Straights of Hormuz? The water temperature goes from the 65 degrees or so in the Indian Ocean to 90+ in the Persian Gulf. WTF?! How the hell does a body of water that size get to over 90 fucking degrees?

This isn't some wild ass guess at the water temp, either. As a former holder of the coveted job of engineroom lowerlevel dude, one of my jobs was to record the inlet saltwater temp on the main engine steam condenser. 90 fucking degrees in a body of water the size of one of the Great Lakes...

No wonder they're all killing each other with rocks and sticks.

[Dinsdale]

This isn't some wild ass guess at the water temp, either. As a former holder of the coveted job of engineroom lowerlevel dude, one of my jobs was to record the inlet saltwater temp on the main engine steam condenser.

Ah, see, but you were only logging temps in the channels. My bud who made a few trips to Kuwait seemed to think it got even warmer in the shallows near shore.

Swimming becomes out of the question -- but he also said that there appeared to be some sort of critters in the water that liked to dine on human flesh.


Nice place.

[Mister Bushice]

Yeah, I'll bet your buddys "Seemedtothinkomometer" is far superior and more accurate than any measuring device the Navy has.

[Dinsdale]

You... not very smart.


Uhm... I was providing an account, albeit secondhand, reinforcing what OCMike said.

But with your unbridled retardation, I can see where you'd miss that.


Fucking moron.