Sir, may I see your man card, please
Moderator: Jesus H Christ
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Sir, may I see your man card, please
What do you fukksticks think is grounds for losing your mancard?
Today, I had to drive to the airport in Wooostah to work on some equipment there. Fortunately, it was early enough to not interfere with the T-Hanksgiving festivities.
Anyfukk, on the way up I passed some broke down douche that was standing there, next to his girlfriend as a Mass State trooper was spinning his lugnuts off to change the tire. Rack the troopah, I guess for being a nice guy, but, seems to me that in a just world, after changing dude's flat tire, he should bend his girlfriend over and fukk the shit out of her, as he obviously is not up to the task. If you have a flat tire and you need assistance, and you have a spare, you are a straight up faggit. Anyone that ventures along and changes your tire, deserves to fukk your OL right in front of you to remind you of your short comings.
On the way back, I passed a wrecker where dude was changing the guy's tire. Same thing applies. If you have to sit there for an hour waiting for some dude with a set of functional testicles to come along and change your tire, you are a faggot. EOS. If you do not have a girlfriend on hand to let him fukk, you should drop to your knees and blow him like the fag you are.
Any of you metrosexuals ever sit on the side of the highway waiting on triple A dude to come along and rescue you? I could see it, maybe if I was dressed nice and it was pouring rain and I had a good cell signal to surf porn as I waited otherwise, fukk that. I can use a jack and a lug wrench and my testicles are still producing some sort of level of testosterone.
Today, I had to drive to the airport in Wooostah to work on some equipment there. Fortunately, it was early enough to not interfere with the T-Hanksgiving festivities.
Anyfukk, on the way up I passed some broke down douche that was standing there, next to his girlfriend as a Mass State trooper was spinning his lugnuts off to change the tire. Rack the troopah, I guess for being a nice guy, but, seems to me that in a just world, after changing dude's flat tire, he should bend his girlfriend over and fukk the shit out of her, as he obviously is not up to the task. If you have a flat tire and you need assistance, and you have a spare, you are a straight up faggit. Anyone that ventures along and changes your tire, deserves to fukk your OL right in front of you to remind you of your short comings.
On the way back, I passed a wrecker where dude was changing the guy's tire. Same thing applies. If you have to sit there for an hour waiting for some dude with a set of functional testicles to come along and change your tire, you are a faggot. EOS. If you do not have a girlfriend on hand to let him fukk, you should drop to your knees and blow him like the fag you are.
Any of you metrosexuals ever sit on the side of the highway waiting on triple A dude to come along and rescue you? I could see it, maybe if I was dressed nice and it was pouring rain and I had a good cell signal to surf porn as I waited otherwise, fukk that. I can use a jack and a lug wrench and my testicles are still producing some sort of level of testosterone.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Using the word, "mancard."smackaholic wrote:What do you fukksticks think is grounds for losing your mancard?
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
OK, Corky. Your wrecker will be along in the next 3 hours.MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Using the word, "mancard."smackaholic wrote:What do you fukksticks think is grounds for losing your mancard?
I will go ahead and mount that ridiculous space saver spare, drive home ad bang the OL wjile you are sitting there on the side of the highway listening to Jim Rome re-runs.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21006
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Isn't one of the points of getting AAA is so that you're not changing a tire on the side of a busy road? But I guess you need to demonstrate you still have your "man card," whatever the fuck that is.smackaholic wrote: Any of you metrosexuals ever sit on the side of the highway waiting on triple A dude to come along and rescue you? I could see it, maybe if I was dressed nice and it was pouring rain and I had a good cell signal to surf porn as I waited otherwise, fukk that. I can use a jack and a lug wrench and my testicles are still producing some sort of level of testosterone.
Do you ever get tired of being an emasculated pussy?
- Diego in Seattle
- Rouser Of Rabble
- Posts: 9307
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:39 pm
- Location: Duh
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Yeah, because waiting up to 1.5 hours (or probably more on T-Hanksgiving) on the side of the highway is so much safer.Screw_Michigan wrote:Isn't one of the points of getting AAA is so that you're not changing a tire on the side of a busy road? But I guess you need to demonstrate you still have your "man card," whatever the fuck that is.smackaholic wrote: Any of you metrosexuals ever sit on the side of the highway waiting on triple A dude to come along and rescue you? I could see it, maybe if I was dressed nice and it was pouring rain and I had a good cell signal to surf porn as I waited otherwise, fukk that. I can use a jack and a lug wrench and my testicles are still producing some sort of level of testosterone.
But you go ahead & enjoy being content having that AAA card in that purse you're lugging around.
9/27/22“Left Seater” wrote:So charges are around the corner?
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
The point of AAA is to get your sled towed or jump started if you need it. Changing a tire is a very simple procedure that ought to take about 15 minutes. The trouble is, some people are so completely helpless regarding simple mechanical procedures, that they would sit there and die of starvation if there wasn't some prince on a white horse to come along and save them.Screw_Michigan wrote:Isn't one of the points of getting AAA is so that you're not changing a tire on the side of a busy road? But I guess you need to demonstrate you still have your "man card," whatever the fuck that is.smackaholic wrote: Any of you metrosexuals ever sit on the side of the highway waiting on triple A dude to come along and rescue you? I could see it, maybe if I was dressed nice and it was pouring rain and I had a good cell signal to surf porn as I waited otherwise, fukk that. I can use a jack and a lug wrench and my testicles are still producing some sort of level of testosterone.
Do you ever get tired of being an emasculated pussy?
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
No, you pathetic, emasculated pajama-boy, the point of getting AAA is so your wife or girlfriend is not changing a tire on the side of a busy road. Can't lose a man card if you never earned one...Screw_Michigan wrote:isn't one of the points of getting AAA is so that you're not changing a tire on the side of a busy road?
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Maybe it's a millennial/generational thing, because even the homos I know are competent enough to perform basic car maintaince. I'm sure they'll still blow the state trooper on the side of the road, but they can change the tire while they are waiting.
So what you're saying is that it's never come up?smackaholic wrote: maybe if I was dressed nice
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Settle down Mr. Manly Man. Clearly your online quiz conquests don't involve much logic. See, I can think you're a tool for saying shit like "man card" and change a tire at the same time. These are not mutually exclusive things. Probly change it faster than you too.smackaholic wrote:OK, Corky. Your wrecker will be along in the next 3 hours.
I will go ahead and mount that ridiculous space saver spare, drive home ad bang the OL wjile you are sitting there on the side of the highway listening to Jim Rome re-runs.
-
- 2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
- Posts: 29349
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
- Location: Lookin for tards
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
If you are quoting a Miller Lite commercial.
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
- Felix
- 2012 JAFFL Champ
- Posts: 9269
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:37 pm
- Location: probably on a golf course
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
the "homos you know".....nostalgicR-Jack wrote:Maybe it's a millennial/generational thing, because even the homos I know
had a flat tire in the middle of summer at the bottom of the Blue Mountains, just outside of pendelton oregon.....of course all the luggage was sitting on top of the tire tools and I'm with my wife, my 15 year old niece and her friend of the same age....temps of about 95.....the girls learned some new profanity that day....took the tire into Les Schwaub and they replaced it free of charge....obvoiusly I was pissed off, but apologized profusely to my niece and her friend for the continual flow of obscenties.....pretty stupid on my part....
get out, get out while there's still time
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21006
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
I know how to change a tire. I also don't have AAA.Diego in Seattle wrote: Yeah, because waiting up to 1.5 hours (or probably more on T-Hanksgiving) on the side of the highway is so much safer.
But you go ahead & enjoy being content having that AAA card in that purse you're lugging around.
But hey, look over there--there's a bare police crank. Try not to suck it, Diego.
- Screw_Michigan
- Angry Snowflake
- Posts: 21006
- Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
- Location: 20011
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Yeah, no one ever dies changing the tire on the shoulder of an interstate. Go get caught on the business end of a BLM rally.Truman wrote:No, you pathetic, emasculated pajama-boy, the point of getting AAA is so your wife or girlfriend is not changing a tire on the side of a busy road. Can't lose a man card if you never earned one...Screw_Michigan wrote:isn't one of the points of getting AAA is so that you're not changing a tire on the side of a busy road?
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
I had a flat up in Canada once with my 2001 Nissan Maxima. The tool that came with the spare was about 12" long. Not much leverage there Mr. Archimedes. Luck would have it my brother in law drove by and stopped. I borrowed his lug nut tool and added it to mine and that gave me enough mechanical advantage to get the damned nuts off. Took the tire to a Mom & Pop garage my brother in law recommended. I had "picked up" a roofing nail and fortunately it was in a place where they could repair the tire. The guy was not even going to charge me, but I handed him a $20 bill (Canadian) and told him thanks. That's the last time I changed a tire. It's actually something that young guys learned when they were teens.
"It''s not dark yet--but it's getting there". -- Bob Dylan
Carbon Dating, the number one dating app for senior citizens.
"Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight."
Carbon Dating, the number one dating app for senior citizens.
"Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight."
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
My car doesn't carry a spare. Pretty sure Diego's Vespa doesn't either.
Changed the tire on the F250 half a dozen times or so. It's a lot more than a 15 minute operation. It takes that much time just the get the thing jacked up far enough to get the spare on which, BTW, is full sized with eight lug nuts and weighs about 75 lb.
Changed the tire on the F250 half a dozen times or so. It's a lot more than a 15 minute operation. It takes that much time just the get the thing jacked up far enough to get the spare on which, BTW, is full sized with eight lug nuts and weighs about 75 lb.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Mikey wrote:Pretty sure Diego's Vespa doesn't either.
My bad.
Can't lose a man card, though if you never had one.
Changing one of these isn't quite the same a car.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Sure, I can change a tire. Done so many times. I can also afford to pay someone else to change it for me. Not a very tough call.
Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:39 pmUnlike you tards, I actually have functioning tastebuds and a refined pallet.
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
It's not about paying some dude to come along and do it. It is about sitting there for anywhere from 45 minutes to, ohh, a few days.
As for the safety issue, if you can not find a place to pull far enough off the road to do it, you are too stupid to continue wasting oxygen and the world we be a better place after you are mowed down by some idiot.
As for the safety issue, if you can not find a place to pull far enough off the road to do it, you are too stupid to continue wasting oxygen and the world we be a better place after you are mowed down by some idiot.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
I've called triple A before several times. It's never taken that long. If your masculinity is tied up in your willingness (not ability) to change a tire, you're hanging by a thread. You'll likely gobble the first cock that bumps your nose.
Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:39 pmUnlike you tards, I actually have functioning tastebuds and a refined pallet.
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Then you have been lucky.
And in my 52 years, I have not had a cock yet bump me in the nose. Is this a regular occurrence for you? You did spend quite a few years in Cali, so it's understandable. Assuming I do ever have the misfortune of being bopped on the nose by a cahk, I am fairly certain I will take a pass on it.
Getting back to the topic on hand, my masculinity would have no problem sitting in my warm dry car waiting for some shlep to come along and change it if it were really shitty out and I didn't feel like getting dirty/wet/frostbitten. Yesterday was about as nice as you can expect for T-Hanks givin' in the U&R. Mid fifties and sunny. Neither one of these dudes appeared to be dressed up much. Both were 20-30s. They had no good reason, as best I could tell to wait on a wrecker other than maybe they just didn't know how to do it.
And in my 52 years, I have not had a cock yet bump me in the nose. Is this a regular occurrence for you? You did spend quite a few years in Cali, so it's understandable. Assuming I do ever have the misfortune of being bopped on the nose by a cahk, I am fairly certain I will take a pass on it.
Getting back to the topic on hand, my masculinity would have no problem sitting in my warm dry car waiting for some shlep to come along and change it if it were really shitty out and I didn't feel like getting dirty/wet/frostbitten. Yesterday was about as nice as you can expect for T-Hanks givin' in the U&R. Mid fifties and sunny. Neither one of these dudes appeared to be dressed up much. Both were 20-30s. They had no good reason, as best I could tell to wait on a wrecker other than maybe they just didn't know how to do it.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
You're a hot mess and totally confused.
Screw_Michigan wrote: ↑Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:39 pmUnlike you tards, I actually have functioning tastebuds and a refined pallet.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
How many years did you spend in KC?smackaholic wrote:And in my 52 years, I have not had a cock yet bump me in the nose. Is this a regular occurrence for you? You did spend quite a few years in Cali, so it's understandable.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
- Shlomart Ben Yisrael
- Insha'Allah
- Posts: 19031
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
- Location: filling molotovs
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Put that in your purse.
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
How so? Am I contradicting myself here, somewhere? I did say that waiting for AAA dude makes sense, if he's gonna be there fairly soon and/or the wear really fukking sucks. I just don't see the point in sitting there an extra hour or two to wait on some fukk to perform a simple mechanical procedure in nice weather. I guess if you don,t have some place to be and brought along a good book or something, good on you. But, if you are waiting because you have no fukking idea how to change a tire, well, you really ought to offer a BJ to dude when he's done.mvscal wrote:You're a hot mess and totally confused.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
-
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 21259
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
You seem pretty fixated on blowjobs on the side of the road. Go buy a used wrecker and patrol the local interstate if you must, but leave us the fuck out of this.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Manhood is attained when one manages to have 7 extension cords tangled up in his backyard.
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
A single good 20A 50 footer is sufficient.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
That's one of my favorite country songs.smackaholic wrote:In my 52 years, I have not had a cock yet bump me in the nose.
- War Wagon
- 2010 CFB Pickem Champ
- Posts: 21127
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:38 pm
- Location: Tiger country
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Along with at least 2 garden hoses to water the weeds with and give the foundation a rinse.poptart wrote:Manhood is attained when one manages to have 7 extension cords tangled up in his backyard.
- smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
- Posts: 21669
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
- Location: upside it
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
don't forget the lawnmower.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
Kenny Chesney?Python wrote:That's one of my favorite country songs.smackaholic wrote:In my 52 years, I have not had a cock yet bump me in the nose.
Re: Sir, may I see your man card, please
R-Jack wrote:Kenny Chesney?Python wrote:That's one of my favorite country songs.smackaholic wrote:In my 52 years, I have not had a cock yet bump me in the nose.
88 wrote:Go Coogs' (Regular Season Total Points Champ)