Greetings from Bermuda

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:07 am

Flew in here yesterday with the OL. Here for about 2 hours of actual work on some xray equipment for FedEx and 4 days of goofing off.

Have any of you dick slaps ever been here? Beautiful place. Very clean. And without a doubt the most polite people I have ever met. EVERYONE greets you with good morning or good afternoon. Even the balck folks. Infact, I would have to say that the balck folks here are more polite than the whites. We rode the bus a few times today and every last kid said good afternoon to the bus driver when he got on and thank you, when he left.

If I was king, I would sentence every last nog in America to a 6 month visit to Bermuda to learn how to act like a human being.

Rack those overly polite fukks.

Hope to post some pics in the next few days.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:21 am

Bermuda? Be sure to post a pic wearing your new shorts.

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 5:40 am

Do they still have those pink jeeps?

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 5:44 am

Be sure to check out the triangle. I've heard it's nice this time of year.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:11 am

Mikey wrote:Bermuda? Be sure to post a pic wearing your new shorts.

I had always heard of Bermuda shorts, but never really knew exactly what they were. Basically, you take the pants from a suit, lop them off at the knees and hem them. And you MUST wear knee high dress socks and penny loafers with them. Jacket and tie also when appropriate.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:48 am

And after six months Bermuda would be South Central LA. Just sayin'. But I catch your drift, smackie.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:28 pm

Rooster wrote:And after six months Bermuda would be South Central LA. Just sayin'. But I catch your drift, smackie.

Yeah, the problem is that the place is too damn small. They would reach nog saturation level before you could get enough in to do any good.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:30 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Bermuda is one of the most beautiful places on the planet. But bring your wallet, it also is one of the most expensive places as well.

I stayed at the Cambridges Beach Resort, they have an outstanding restaurant there, check it out if you can.

I hear you Chip. My wallet has been prison raped over the last couple days. Oh, fukkin' well, can't take it with you, I guess.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Sat Oct 31, 2015 5:24 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:Be sure to check out the triangle. I've heard it's nice this time of year.

People still reference that? Huh, been thru it at least 7 times this year and it never even crossed my mind.

I would think 'holic' back yard is infinitely more dangerous.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Oct 31, 2015 11:24 pm

Yeah, this place is pretty damn harmless. Nice day today, about 85 and sunny. Easily the nicest Halloween weather I've ever seen. Went to Horse Shoe Bay beach today. Easily one of the nicest beaches I have been to in my life. The sand isn't exactly pink as advertished, but it does have a bit of a peach tint to it and is extremely fine.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 2:43 am

No pics? Even KC Scrote would show pics of dudes out in the water or pics from 20 stories up in the hotel showing the parking lot.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 2:54 pm

Against my better judgement, I will make my first ever TIB PET pic, one of the OL. This is a pub overlooking the waterfront in Hamilton.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 2:57 pm

Horseshoe Bay at sunset. One of the nicest beaches I have ever been too. And I have been to a few nice ones.

Have at it wytches. Don't dissapoint me.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:00 pm

Another shot at Horseshoe Bay. Missed sunset by about 3 minutes.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:02 pm

Bermuda's version of the Capitol.....I think.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:07 pm

Dockyard

another pic of Horseshoe Bay looking the other direction from the previous pic

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:13 pm

Waterfront, Hamilton, from the ferry.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:25 pm

Right behind the bus stop in Somerset.

One think that is the suck about Bermuda is vacationers can not rent cars. You can rent scooters, but we figured that tooling around on scooters where they drive on the wrong fukking side, might not end well, so we got 4 day bus/ferry passes. This worked out reasonably well during the day, but at night resulted in a few lengthy waits. Next time I will likely take my chances with a scooter.

Have to put a rack out to the Bermuda bus drivers who manage these ridiculously narrow roads in full sized buses without bouncing them off the walls that typically line these roads.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:35 pm

You look a lot like your avatar.

Just sayin'.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:39 pm

Carson wrote:You look a lot like your avatar.

Just sayin'.

I have told you fukkers before, avatard dude has better hair. At least the OL still looks pretty good. I think a good description of her is slightly padded Sarah Palin. You could do a lot worse than that. And I am sure some of you have.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:45 pm

Nice PET tubby.

Love the beautiful white sand beach here.

smackaholic wrote:Horseshoe Bay at sunset. One of the nicest beaches I have ever been too. And I have been to a few nice ones.

Have at it wytches. Don't dissapoint me.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:55 pm

Mikey, The sand part of the beach is the other direction. There is a pic of it as well.

BTW, they advertise pink sand beaches. In actuality, it is close to white, with a slight, sort of peach colored tint to it. It is extremely fine sand though. A hell of a lot nicer than the gravel pits that pass as beaches on Long Island Sound, which is what we in CT have. Go a little east to RI and Cape Cod and the beaches get respectable, but still nothing like this place. And even on Halloween, the water is nicer than your frigid left coast water.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:07 pm

Would like to check out Bermuda sometime. Been around the Virgin Islands a couple of times but that's the closest I've been.

Maybe if my wife someday hits on her weekly $1 lottery investment...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:11 pm

The "unfinished church" in St Georges. At first I just figured it was a church where they didn't have no water and let the muthafukka burn, but it was actually never finished after the congregation split sometime back in the late 1800s.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:15 pm

Mikey wrote:Would like to check out Bermuda sometime. Been around the Virgin Islands a couple of times but that's the closest I've been.

Maybe if my wife someday hits on her weekly $1 lottery investment...

Hitting on the lottery might pay your restaurant bill for the week......if you went easy on the drinks. Figure on 100 bucks for a couple for a modest dinner without drinks. You could spend 200 on dinner without breaking a sweat.

Spray, just stay away dude. You don't have enough money to eat there.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:16 pm

Mikey wrote:Would like to check out Bermuda sometime. Been around the Virgin Islands a couple of times but that's the closest I've been.

Maybe if my wife someday hits on her weekly $1 lottery investment...

Went to the V.I. once. Very nice. Amazing snorkling.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:19 pm

Another cool look spot near St Georges. Nice beach right around the point from here. The coastline, for the most part in Bermuda is rocky. The beaches are spectacular, but kind of spaced out. It definitely ain't Florida.

and here is the beach. The rocky spot is the other side of the fort.

A Cedar lined lane on top of a hill on the way to the beach in the pic above. Yeah, yeah, Dins, I know, those aren't real Cedars.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:29 pm

Waterfront, St Georges.

Town Square

More St Georges

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 5:05 pm

smackaholic wrote:
Carson wrote:You look a lot like your avatar.

Just sayin'.

I have told you fukkers before, avatard dude has better hair. At least the OL still looks pretty good. I think a good description of her is slightly padded Sarah Palin. You could do a lot worse than that. And I am sure some of you have.

And avatard dude probably has a higher IQ as well.

Sarah Palin? No. But she's not as hideous as Jake from State Farm.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 8:29 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Sarah Palin? No.

Cmon Goobs. You're too harsh a critic. Similar skin and hair color is all you need, right.

That said.....['holic] Here's a honeymoon pic of me and my wife, who is a dead ringer for Jennifer Lopez. Not bad for a Channing Tatum lookalike, right?

[/'holic]

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Nov 02, 2015 8:37 pm

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 1:23 am

R-Jack wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Sarah Palin? No.
Cmon Goobs. You're too harsh a critic. Similar skin and hair color is all you need, right.

That said.....['holic] Here's a honeymoon pic of me and my wife, who is a dead ringer for Jennifer Lopez. Not bad for a Channing Tatum lookalike, right?

[/'holic]

Not too shabby, Jack. Congrats. Just keep her away from personal trainers.

BTW, I would have went with Clark Gable rather than Tatum Channing. Just ned the pencil 'stache.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:44 am

Way to rock some generic "Bermuda" gear while in... Bermuda. Could you be any more of a touristy putz? And you wonder why the locals were so nice to you. They wanted your money, genius.

Nice PET anyhow.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 3:30 am

A pub in Hamilton at 9:30AM Sunday. Brits doing what brits always does, watch Premier League while knocking back a few pints.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 4:58 am

smackaholic wrote:

How many dollars of spilled booze ended up on your shirt instead of going down your gullet? You could wrap that shirt around a stick and have an all night tiki torch to find your way back to the hotel.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 12:52 pm

It could be a shutyomouth cumstain and it still wouldn't get me into the same neighborhood of wardrobe shame that you occupy.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 3:54 pm

Nice looking OL, BTW, especially for somebody as homely and blockheaded as you.

Something's been bugging me about her in this pic, though, and I think I figured out what it is.
It's the "deer in the headlights" expression, which I hear is quite common to victims of the Stockholm Syndrome.
What did you have to do to trap this woman, anyway?

smackaholic wrote:

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 6:32 pm

Anyone else having issues with the "View First Unread Post" button?

I click on it & it goes to the page of the first unread post, but it won't go all the way down to said unread post. This is especially bad in threads with a lot of pics, but doesn't happen on other boards.

Anyone? Bueller?

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 7:57 pm

smackaholic wrote:Hitting on the lottery might pay your restaurant bill for the week......if you went easy on the drinks. Figure on 100 bucks for a couple for a modest dinner without drinks. You could spend 200 on dinner without breaking a sweat.

Two hundred for dinner, where the hell were you eating at the buffet?
Bermuda is the coolest place I've ever been but also singularly the most expensive....my wife and I went out for dinner with our travelling companions, I had two drinks, my wife had a glass of wine, and the tab for our portion was $315.....I had duck and I'll be a happy man if I ever remember what my wife had.....I think I was shell shocked when we looked at the menu and saw the prices for the entrees.....which brings up another story.....I was able to wrangle an invite to play golf at Mid Ocean golf club.....I went in to buy a six pack of beer, gave the guy a $100, and he gave me back $62.55.....$37.45 for a six pack of beer.....I mean I've paid $6.50 for a beer before, but usually there was some skeezer taking her clothes off and doing some imaginative things with her vjay jay.....

but no doubt, I would go back in a heartbeat if I can ever work it out....

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:40 pm

Aruba was pretty damn expensive the last time we went there. St. Maarten is as nice an island as I've been to and not at all unreasonable. I believe this February will be the 6th time in 7 years. The food is as good as you'll find in the Caribbean.