poptart's obituary

[poptart]

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/m ... -1.1887239


SOUTH KOREA-- Poptart, 53, died 8/2/14 after a near lifelong battle with boredom.
He is survived by his wife, Ei Dok Foo, and two children, Mary and Steve.

Poptart was born of two of-age adults, male and female, in Western Illinois. He was
raised there with a brother and sister and grew up enjoying sports, Midnight Special,
WGN, and skipping Lutheran Church. He grew to have three loves. His beloved wife
Dok Foo, tennis, and the Oakland/LA Raiders.

After graduating (allegedly) from college in Illinois, poptart continued to compete in
tennis, as well as bonging, drinking, jacking, and watching Raider football in his spare
time. Later, after meeting and marrying Dok Foo, he began to be tamed -- and began
to represent himself as an actual human being. Poptart's mother and father were very
appreciative of Dok Foo, but still held back some love due to their racist midwestern
background. Amid some tension, poptart and his wife relocated to Houston in the mid-
90's, where he continued to pursue tennis, the Raiders, missionary-position sex rather
than jacking, and a renewed Church life, thanks to Dok Foo.

Poptart spent much of the last 15 years of his life preaching the love of God, and informing
people on the internet that they are very ignorant and/or stupid. Through the Jim Rome
"Jungle" radio show, poptart came to meet and commune on-line nearly daily with other
"clones" -- most of which were not as smart and/or principled as he was. They met on
numerous message boards over poptart's last 15 years, where they took turns humiliating
one another, speaking of who likes to suck black cock, who's punctuation is lacking, and
who just doesn't get it. In between they discussed sports and politics, and poptart lost
many bets to KC clones who got the better of him.

This is how poptart frittered the last years of his life away, and his heart sank down through
his asshole on October 8th, 2011, when Al Davis and The Raiduhs died. His wife would
recognize and confess that poptart was never the same man after Al died. Distant and
increasingly wanting seclusion, poptart finally succumbed to the horrendous disease of
boredom, which had plagued him for much of his life.

Poptart is in a better place now, so be of good cheer, friends and family.

Per prior "will" arrangements with his wife, Dok Foo, poptart expressed that he wished it
known that his final words are...

Poptart was run!


Memorials can be directed to Theoneboard.com -- in care of Smackie Chan's radio program.



Out...

[War Wagon]

See you next Friday in TT chat unless Barf runs me first.

Oh, and that Korean bank note you sent me is one of my most prized possessions. Right beside the Chiefs trinkets Toostoned sent for winning a draft contest years ago at TNW and the Budweiser beer tankard ucant sent for no particular reason other than... well, I don't know why but I don't need to.

[poptart]

Moving Sale's ass.

Where is poptart buried?

[poptart]

See you next Friday in TT chat

Probably.

[Goober McTuber]

This is how poptart frittered the last years of his life away, and his heart sank down through his asshole on October 8th, 2011

How'd it get past his head?

[jtr]

Man his hatches must be finally barren

[Roger_the_Shrubber]

Who is buried in poptart's tomb?

[velocet]

[poptart]

At my funeral, Roider James can read my eulogy.

That'll be fun.

[poptart]

Man his hatches must be finally barren

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=44541


Hi Jess.

May Peace be with you.

[Wolfman]

I go on tour with Honeymoon Suite for a couple weeks and this has to happen.