if there's anything funny about having a stroke

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:20 am

... I haven't found it yet. excuse my typing, but this is a herculean effort as my left hand is as useless to me as a weedeater is to cockaholic or a republican voters guide is to screw. I've been in the hospital since Friday, doc says I actually had 3 minor strokes within a 24 hour period. I wouldn't know, I lost count after 2. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a 'minor' stroke but i'm living proof that there damn sure is

they might send me to a rehab center tomorrow. that'll be nice as i'm sick and tired of pissing this same bed day after day and so are the nurses

anyways, bros, I could use some cheering up. let the 'stroke wagon' jokes begin.

thanks.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:33 am

Holy shit, bro. I hope you feel better, sorry for cracking on you for Keep it Like a Secret. Actually, no, I'm not, but I do hope you get well soon.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:48 am

I blame this on Kc Scrote. He posted that worthless list of states bullshit, and it jinxed you.

Sure this is not some kind of deficit from jerking off with the left hand too much ?? Maybe some Tommy John surgery is in order ??

Come on bro...tell me to go fuck myself so I know you are doing better.....

Do not be pulling some kind of Screwy troll job here either asshole.

Rehab Center...put in about double the effort that they make you do and you will progress much faster..been there and done that.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 2:16 am

I wish it were a joke or troll job but the fucking hospital bill I get won't be. I wasn't going to post anything about but it's making me type even more retarded than usual which everyone would notice so I figured I might as well just spit it out and maybe get a few good laughs at my expense.

I was seriously depressed the first few days and still am but the well wishes from family, friends and co-workers has cheered me up quite a bit. that, and some good drugs.

I plan on beating this and being stronger than I ever was. which may not be saying much but goddamnit, i'm not dying in this or any hospital.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 2:29 am

The thought of a stroke or coronary is scary.Wish you a speedy recovery.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:01 am

Best wishes, bro.

Happened to a friend recently (at the ripe old age of 45), and he's doing much better. If you're aware and able to type now, you'll be fine.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:20 am

Rub some dirt in it, pussy.

Seriously, hope you heal quickly & completely (perhaps removing those abnomal conservative views as well).

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:21 am

War Wagon wrote:I wish it were a joke or troll job but the fucking hospital bill I get won't be.

So sorry to hear about your fourth stroke in advance.

Get well

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:48 am

When they send you to rehab, they will work with you maybe an hour a day max. Get up off your dead ass and work it yourself for another 2 hours and you will rehab much faster.

Tell your family you are not eating the swill they feed you there, and they need to bring you at least one good outside meal a day. Load up on puddings, fruit cups and all that. You need a minimum of at least 500 to 800 more calories a day than what you will get eating the institutional garbage food. Get a couple of 2 pound weighs and lift them. If that is too much, use soup cans. Walking the halls is also a very good thing.

Like jsc says, be a good patient. I did 3 days in the hospital last month and I tried not to be that whining pussy down the hall. I was fortunate my wife used to be a nurse, so she was able to provide a lot of care that I would not have got.

You are not going any where dude, I still have a hundred more insults to throw your way, and I expect a like number returned. Want to get out of there faster, just ask one of the nurses to give you a blow job. That will probably work.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:05 am

Derron wrote:When they send you to rehab, they will work with you maybe an hour a day max. Get up off your dead ass and work it yourself for another 2 hours and you will rehab much faster.

Tell your family you are not eating the swill they feed you there, and they need to bring you at least one good outside meal a day. Load up on puddings, fruit cups and all that. You need a minimum of at least 500 to 800 more calories a day than what you will get eating the institutional garbage food. Get a couple of 2 pound weighs and lift them. If that is too much, use soup cans. Walking the halls is also a very good thing.

Like jsc says, be a good patient. I did 3 days in the hospital last month and I tried not to be that whining pussy down the hall. I was fortunate my wife used to be a nurse, so she was able to provide a lot of care that I would not have got.

You are not going any where dude, I still have a hundred more insults to throw your way, and I expect a like number returned. Want to get out of there faster, just ask one of the nurses to give you a blow job. That will probably work.

Just make sure you remove your ekg leads first (someone around here knows why

).

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 5:10 am

Damn, that's scary as fuck, but I'm glad the strokes were only minor.

After seeing my mom come back from a major stroke (save it, fags), I'm convinced that 90% of it was being defiant and generally full of piss and vinegar. You're wired pretty much the same way, so I have no doubt you'll beat this.

On a side note, if you beat off with your stroked out hand, does it feel like a stranger's giving you a handjob?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:52 am

Best wishes, Wags.

Take care of yourself, bro.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:53 am

Wags hope your better soon! Miss you on Fridays! Mama

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:02 pm

3 strokes huh, that was all it took before you blew your...wait wrong topic.

3 strokes huh, figures you couldn't get either of the first two done correctly.

Seriously, best of luck and make sure everyone there knows who you are.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 2:34 pm

As long as this doesn't impact the Jackass FF auction, I wish you a speedy recovery. Otherwise flatline already so we can replace you quickly.

(truly do wish you a speedy recovery)

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:11 pm

[img]http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/WeaHq58ehs8/hqdefault.jpg[/img] wrote:Seriously, best of luck and make sure everyone there knows who the fuck you are.

Get better, broseph.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:41 pm

^^^^ Oh my lord...fucking rack!

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:00 pm

thanks for the encouragement, gents. it means more than you know. they got me out of bed this morning and I was able to take a few steps on my own for the first time in week. baby steps, but it felt like I just hit a home run. I think i'm getting out of here today and heading to rehab. i'm going to bust my ass to get better because this has really sucked.

thanks again.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:15 pm

Are they gonna let you watch cfb in rehab? Oh, and make sure you buddy up with one of the nurses so she can smuggle you smokes and scotch.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:17 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
[img]http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/WeaHq58ehs8/hqdefault.jpg[/img] wrote:Seriously, best of luck and make sure everyone there knows who the fuck you are.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:36 pm

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:52 pm

^^^Thanks for stealing my nutrients, dickwad.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 5:22 pm

Takes one to know one, dickweed.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 5:43 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:Takes one to know one, dickweed.

Great. The DC variant of IKYABWAI. Appropriate, I guess, in a thread started by Wags.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:29 pm

War Wagon wrote:thanks for the encouragement, gents. it means more than you know. they got me out of bed this morning and I was able to take a few steps on my own for the first time in week. baby steps, but it felt like I just hit a home run. I think i'm getting out of here today and heading to rehab. i'm going to bust my ass to get better because this has really sucked.

thanks again.

Check your PM's asshole.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:33 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:make sure you buddy up with one of the nurses so she can smuggle you smokes and scotch.

pretty sure booze is what got me here, I knew I was liking that captain morgan black waaay too much lately. think i'm going to have leave it alone for awhile.

as for smokes, these are great and they let me have them in the hospital.

I might have a good chance of putting down the Marlboros with these bad boys.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Aug 22, 2013 7:17 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:Takes one to know one, dickweed.
Great. The DC variant of IKYABWAI. Appropriate, I guess, in a thread started by Wags.

Dude, TOTKO has been around forever. You're just learning about it now?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 7:39 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Dude, TOTKO has been around forever. You're just learning about it now?

Of course not.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:49 pm

War Wagon wrote:as for smokes, these are great and they let me have them in the hospital.

WTF? What kind of hospital allows you to smoke? In NY, you aren't allowed to smoke anywhere on the hospital grounds other than your car. Who runs your hospital? RJ Reynolds?

Aside from that blast, get well. And draft Le'Veon Bell. He's going to blow up.

His weak ass foot that is...

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:06 pm

BSmack wrote:WTF? What kind of hospital allows you to smoke?

Maybe you should take another look at the ad, and stop being unsmart.

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:44 pm

Wags, I was wondering where you were in chat last Friday. Hope you feel better soon!

My 12 year dog had a stroke about 3 weeks ago and has made a full recovery.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:55 pm

trev wrote:Wags, I was wondering where you were in chat last Friday. Hope you feel better soon!

My 12 year dog had a stroke about 3 weeks ago and has made a full recovery.

I am sure that is a huge relief to Wags be compared to your dog. That should make him feel a lot better, knowing that the dog is back to licking his balls in less than 3 weeks.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:55 pm

trev wrote:My 12 year dog had a stroke about 3 weeks ago

Wags isn't talking about Red Rocket you freak

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:46 am

so what's the problem wags? drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, fat, stress, married, can't post worth a fuk or what? if you don't show up in chat tomorrow I will give you stroke #4

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:33 am

at this point, barf, while this may seem trite, just taking it a day at a time. thanks for the invite though. you're too kind. i'll be pleased to join the tune town crew if able

btw, Bri... it's just vapor with a healthy dose of nicotine but it beats the hell out of a patch. it's more a placebo than anything and virtually harmless. i'll be the first to admit it's a crutch but as the song goes ''whatever gets you thru the night''.

H4ever · Post by **H4ever** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:15 am

Diego in Seattle wrote:Rub some dirt in it, pussy.

Seriously, hope you heal quickly & completely).

second that. best of luck in your recovery. Hopefully you can still rub it out to old youtube videos of Rush Limbaugh

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:34 am

Sorry to hear about your problem, Wags. I hope you're feeling better soon.

My sister had what could have been a massive stroke last year. Her husband found her in the morning on the floor unable to move after she had gotten up to let the dog out.

Luckily he's an MD and knew what to do, and had her at the hospital in about 10 minutes. She's about 99% recovered now.

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:08 am

War Wagon wrote:at this point, barf, while this may seem trite, just taking it a day at a time. thanks for the invite though. you're too kind. i'll be pleased to join the tune town crew if able

btw, Bri... it's just vapor with a healthy dose of nicotine but it beats the hell out of a patch. it's more a placebo than anything and virtually harmless. i'll be the first to admit it's a crutch but as the song goes ''whatever gets you thru the night''.

pulling your head out of your ass might help also

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:11 am

BarFlie wrote:if you don't show up in chat tomorrow I will give you stroke #4

Probably will start about 45 minutes later than usual.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 11:11 am

War Wagon wrote:at this point, barf, while this may seem trite, just taking it a day at a time. thanks for the invite though. you're too kind. i'll be pleased to join the tune town crew if able

btw, Bri... it's just vapor with a healthy dose of nicotine but it beats the hell out of a patch. it's more a placebo than anything and virtually harmless. i'll be the first to admit it's a crutch but as the song goes ''whatever gets you thru the night''.

You better make it for draft night. What's this world coming to? :?